Betch Making Sense

Reflections on 3 years of pure drunkenness, encounters with douchebags and a good story or two.

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Let’s have a toast for the douchebags, Let’s have a toast for the assholes, Let’s have a toast for the scumbags, Every one of them that I know

Kanye West

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@Fucker - an online connection gone wrong

So don't even ask me why I liked this douchebag. He was dumb, a pothead, an alcoholic (our only thing in common), and known for fucking anything with a pulse. Of COURSE I would find him irresistable, me the back then a ''good girl'' would attempt and change him and we would be madly in love forever and ever. Yeah, that's the thing about douchebags, that's their only allure so they will never change. Instead they will do and say anything to have their way with you, and when you don't really put out they will go with a dirty skank who will. LESSON LEARNED, I mean kinda. Sadly enough, I would always end up going back to him. Or having a drunk hate hook up at least once a semester. Ugh, not proud of that. @Fucker always brought out the worse in me; he would make me jealous, I'd get drunk and do whatever to end up with him and then he'd talk shit about me as if I were some kind of rapist or something. Please, I know deep down that dumbfuck can't get enough of me either.

But anyways, after the summer had passed and a couple of weeks after Freshman year started, @Fucker and I spent the weekend together. My Frienemy (new cast member in my life) and I spent the weekend where he lived. Can't complain about that weekend except for the long drive. Free alcohol, free food and lots of kissing for 3 whole days and nights...it was my idea of a fucking Nicholas Sparks novel. Even my Frienemy got some, it was one successful trip. Things got weird the last night, but whateves I was on my way back to school and as far as I was concerned I was in love. Silly me

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It all started one summer

Nothing had ever made me feel so free than graduation from High School and knowing I would be long gone after the summer. Partying was my one and only hobby, hangovers a habit and random hookups became (and still are) a guilty pleasure. Although my Little Black List (LBL) has increased over the years, I remember the rush I felt as it grew from 3 to 4 to 5..then back to number 4 again, and then 6. Hooked up at home and abroad with a hottie or two, never sober of course. But somewhere in between I got caught up in somewhat of an online, Skype every night, drunk dialing love. Of course I knew the dude in person, I'm not THAT pathetic. But it only went downhill from there, because inexperienced me thought he would be my college love. Oh silly me, to think back...the things we said, the staying up till 4am just staring at each other EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...so unbetchy of me. The stories with @Fucker as we will call him, began that one summer after grad. In the Summer of 09 my major weakness, my guiltiest pleasure began: my douche / shady ass bro obsession. @Fucker how I love to hate you.

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The Beginning of the End

So, at last, my senior year is upon us. Ok, not really, I still have a whole summer of corporate slavery before school starts again, but yeah I am technically a college senior. Cannot believe 3 whole years have passed since I first discovered my love for vodka, tequila (love-hate), amaretto sours, shots, hand-grenades, beer...anyways the list is endless. I cannot believe my years of incessant search for a guy I can stand for more than a couple of weeks have led to well...nothing. Here I stand: A single 20 year old virgin, who only holds memories of (or lack thereof), drunk hookups, booty calls and what can only be called main squeezes who have lasted at most 3 weeks or a month. I guess I have allowed my love of douchebags and shady ass bros to screw me over for quite a long time. But no worries, this isn't a forever alone blog, in fact I have quite enjoyed my single-ness, sometimes way too much. This is a blog in which I want to reminisce about the good old days before they are long gone. :( Before people start referring to me as an alcoholic, instead of just college girl. Not only will I try and tell my college stories, drunk messes and boy disasters, but humor me in while I try to highlight my mistakes and try to enlighten you on my mistakes and how to avoid them, or on what mistakes you SHOULD do because they make a hell of a story.

Love,

Senior Betch