lawless

Dear Samson, I put your hair in a jar by the pear tree near the well. I been thinkin’ over what I done and I still don’t think God gave you all that strength for you to kill my people. Love — Delilah

[bethanylaws-blog]

if anyone checks this i miss yall and would love to rp with yall again

[bethanylaws-blog]

theorsonfrench:

     It sounded much worse than it was. Or maybe that was what he told himself. Orson French had became a clinical man, none of this nonsense bothered him, it all seemed to be a means to an end. “Of course,” there was something remarkably calm in his voice and expression now, his posture straightened in the seat he had reclaimed. There was a long pause but not long enough to take the edge off of what he was saying either, “My blood,” was all he said for several moments, a piece of paper turning beneath his thumb. He knew which cards to play, he knew the measurements it would take to push people but he was gentle with them, not pushing them under her nose so she could make a choice that felt like her own, like she could opt out at any time. In fact, technically she could, despite Orson’s pressure, he was giving her the choice. Her dark personality, her teenage rebellion, it all led him to believe that she would understand more than anyone the price she was willing to pay to save the one she loved most, a similar process to his own, “I have spent years perfecting a combination of drugs, what I did not know until now is that I have become a carrier rather than the possessor of the skills I hoped to gain. Alone I cannot even hope nor dream of saving my wife, she grows weaker every day and I,” a sigh, “am useless. But you, with just a few drops of my blood, will receive a dosage of the quantities I have consumed and become… what I hoped to be. A saviour.”

it was a question of morality and intrigue of science, a belief system embedded into her since birth and many follow, and her desire to learn more of the world of science and the potential this could bring to benefit her own journey of saving a loved one. she was tied, confused on what path to take, and her inner turmoil on the topic. drink anothers blood, even if it was the man in front of hers? could she do that, and donate her own for a vague mission that would make her something she never saw herself being: a saviour. is that what she wanted, to be the saviour of an enigma? “how much blood?” asking questions to push her answer back, hoping in these questions she’d find the answer she was looking for, the exit of the labyrinth inside her head. “and how much of your blood would i have to drink?” if it was too much then that might be it, the thought of anothers blood sliding down her throat and into her body gave her chills, feeling like louis de pointe du lac. yet hearing him talk about his wife, that could change it, the tragedy of it all, and the parallel between the hopelessness she felt with her own brother. she could understand that at least, understand his motivations and his desire, and see why he would go to such extreme lengths. wasn’t she for her own family currently? “you’re not useless, not if you’ve been doing all that you’ve said. if anyone would be the saviour it would be you, even if you have not reached the goal you have set for yourself.” she didn’t know why, but she felt as if she had to comfort him for his words. “and you know for a fact this will help?”

[bethanylaws-blog]

karenxbell:

“You’re right. I’d trust Charles with just about anything, except maybe kids. I feel like they’d start cryin’ and he’d just go into panic mode, you know? But yes, yes, yes, the camera is the perfect idea! We can have Johnny Gill playing in the background of our movie.” Momentarily, the red head’s nose wrinkled in distaste, but it wasn’t long before a slight sigh left her lips. “You’re right, we’ll probably need some recovery food. I suppose one gym day wouldn’t kill us.”

“i have no idea how he’d be with kids, i can’t even picture it to begin with. i don’t want to picture anyone in our age range with children, far too young for it.” a year later she’d be pregnant herself, how funny. “background music makes the movie, our entire album needs to be award winning.” it was always fun to plan out things that never would be, not in any sane persons mind at least. “one gym day for the entire year.”

[bethanylaws-blog]

theorsonfrench:

      “A little blood.” It sounded so easy, like it was the easiest thing in the world. He wanted it to sound as if human DNA was a party favour and that’s how he wanted to sell it, like something forgettable, a faint memory in many years. Orson had not perfected his methods but that did not matter, his mind had reached a state where he knew – where he believed – that this was the time that he would finally be a success, produce the cure that saved Cassandra. “That’s all,” yes, all, just a bit of blood. “In my system lays the key and as terrible as it may sound, it’s not completely unnatural, to drink just a little.” Perhaps it would of sounded more insane had his tone not been even and thoughtful, the troubled look never leaving his eye. Like a piano, he knew which notes to play upon Bethany and although he may not have known the length of his deceit at that time, he knew that he would do anything to get what he needed, “But what is a moment of ill conceived sin if it could help to save the ones you love? All that knowledge, it could be the making of us all. The saviour.”

“a little blood? as in, you need some of my blood?” questions, questions, questions. currently bethany was not going to assume anything, she needed detailed answers, play by plays, every single thing if she was going to do something that made her feel odd in the pit of her stomach. she never thought herself to be someone with great intuition, a person who could sense when something was wrong, she used common sense when she was in situations. now, she felt it, something was terribly wrong and yet her intrigue and curiosity were winning out over her safety. “i have to drink some blood?” with this she scoffed, shock and disgust written on her face, hoping she heard him wrong. “i don’t know, sir. i need to know more, or at least more details. this is all too vague for something so serious.”

[bethanylaws-blog]

karenxbell:

“Yes! That sounds absolutely perfect, it’s like somethin’ out of the movies. We could even have, like, a designated sober person who makes sure we remember to leave prints. Maybe we can use pictures as the prints! Maybe Charles could be our designated sober person…Actually, he probably wouldn’t have too much fun with that,” Karen rambled on, somehow managing to speed up a significant amount throughout her stream of words. Beth’s laugh filled the air and the redhead grinned at her friend, happy to see the other girl letting herself relax. “So much better than just going to the gym or eating more green stuff.”

“we’ll drag him into it, force him to have some fun as our watcher. who else can we trust with our drunk selves to be an actually decent person. we can also force him to bring that camera of his to take photos as evidence, or maybe even have him be the director of our ridiculous movie.” she teased, laughing at the thought of it all. she had originally meant it as a joke, and yet she was now starting to consider it. “i’ll need some green stuff and gym time after our wild night.”

[bethanylaws-blog]

c-french:

      It was a little dark. It was a good thing that Charles was used to it, he was only in the first years of his 20s but he had already seen, heard and experienced things that others never would in a lifetime. He was fond of Bethany, in a way, perhaps it was the pessimism that she did not hire from the world. He was fond of that sarcasm. “Sometimes even I don’t have the answers,” he mocked, but there was the ghost of a smile they would all grow to know on his lips. “Yes, but I fear that the older you get the more you believe that you were old enough to know better,” he pointed out, wondering what mishaps could lead a person to giving their children a reason to be so dim about life when it was only just beginning. He knew those struggles well, “How is your brother?”

it seemed most families at whittemore were enigmas, possibly her own, the laws twins with something off about them. she laughed at the thought, never picturing it until now, looking at one of the many french’s that she was oh so curious about. charles was one she liked, he seemed genuine, he seemed good. “no, i suppose no one does, but you ought to come up with some if you want to maintain your reputation.” reputation as the oh so wise yet young charles french. “possibly because it’s true. so many mistakes people make they know they shouldn’t have done it, and yet they did. they knew better, it’s true.” pessimism rooted in defiance of her parents and hatred for a world that would make her brothers so hard, beth found herself at odds with who she was and the opinions she had. so many had it worse than her, her childhood wasn’t even quite bad, and yet she felt as if her insight was so strong and she felt as if she had been someone who had already been through so much. maybe it was her future peeking through, preparing her for the worst that was yet to come. “good.” she wasn’t one to share those details, not to just anyone and as much as she liked charles, she wasn’t ready to share any truth with him.

[bethanylaws-blog]

lorettaklein:

“and how far is that?” perhaps, loretta is asking the sort of questions she shouldn’t be asking. polite girls only smile to be the pretty little pawns they were meant to be, and she should know better than the rest to hold her tongue, to bite her lips red, like the strawberry she had been chewing on. but there had always been something melancholic about her, in the way she moved when no one was watching, how she brushed her fingers over the thorn of what once was a breathing rose, the sadness that sometimes threatened to leave her lips: “would you be willing to die for the one you love?”

“who knows?” it was one of those questions that was unanswerable until the moment it happened, and as much as beth liked to pretend she knew it all, she didn’t have the answers. it was questions like these that would leave her defensive and angry, questioning why the person asked about it, but with loretta it seemed okay. she seemed the type to get away with it, and bethany didn’t know why but she let it slide anyway. “you can’t ask a person that and expect a sane response.”

[bethanylaws-blog]

howardscross:

Howard watched the girl curiously, his expression blank as he took a small sip from the drink in his hand, ice clinking against the side of glass. He wasn’t one to go to wild parties. His social life was relatively bland, it was his sister she should be asking if she wanted exciting. “I robbed a liquor store in a dinosaur costume once,” his tone casual, he raised his eyebrows at her, of course he would never do such a thing as he had appearances to keep up and he wasn’t a child, “and you’ll never know if I’m being honest or not.”

beth watched howard with a same curiosity in her eyes as he gave her, awaiting a response though she didn’t expect something grand. beth had an odd interest in the cross siblings, a major part due to her unspoken attraction to emily and the fact that howard was equally as attractive, and on top of it a sense of intrigue surrounding them that the curious side in her wanted to learn more about. “oh, really? i’d love to see that.” of course she didn’t believe it, but the image itself was an entertaining one. “well i could do some research on liquor stores and if any were robbed by someone in a dinosaur costume.”

[bethanylaws-blog]

thefrenchflower:

“Isn’t that just the way it is?” There was something about this girl that Daisy liked. A camaraderie in their melancholy natures, something she could pick up from her aura even though it was becoming obvious she had been trying hard to seem like someone she wasn’t. “I don’t think that will ever change. As humans, we’re destined to never get used to anything in time before it changes again. It’s the way life is and will continue to be.”

“it’s like birthdays, everyone always has the highest expectations for the day even though they know it’ll be like every other day.” holidays like that were all fun and games, but they never met the impossible expectations people gave them, and beth was sure it wasn’t just her who felt that way. “it’s kind of sad when you think about it, in a basis other than something as trivial as the year, but like with real things. you get comfortable with a situation, a person, a relationship, and then it’s gone.”

[bethanylaws-blog]

karenxbell:

“Ooh, I like the way you’re thinking, Beth. We could definitely arrange that. Next girl’s night, for sure,” she laughed, excitement clear in her tone. Karen was always up for an adventure, and the one Bethany described sounded even more enjoyable than what had taken place the night before. “That can be our resolution. Achieve hella levels of fun in 1992!” Finally, a resolution the girl would be able to keep. Karen nodded along as Bethany described her night, the event sounding like a good enough time. “Shots are always good. It sounds like you rang in the year right.”

“oh yeah, we plan to get drunk off our asses so we forget everything, but make sure we do some crazy things and leave prints so we can go on an adventure of finding out what we did. it’s actually quite plausible, we can use our being drunk as an excuse for our intentionally crazy behavior.” she had to make something so basic sound somewhat intelligent, when in reality it wasn’t, just her desperation to seem smarter than she really was. “sounds like an easy one, better than just making sure to go to the gym. the only thing on the list “have hella levels of fun.” it’s perfect.” beth laughed at the simplicity and yet joy that would come from it, along with potential regret. “only thing i could really think of doing.”

[bethanylaws-blog]

theorsonfrench:

     Charisma was his friend. One of few these days. He understood Bethany Laws, perhaps that was why he knew she would be the easiest of those he had to convince to be a part of his project, one that Amos Harpe had long since believed he had abandoned. There was no moral highground for Orson, he desired it not when he felt he could get what he needed from more satisfactory routes. “Listen to my words and believe them only once,” he insisted from his seat, knowing already this would be a bargain that was broke with ease, “I have stood where you stand. Desperate for an answer, desperate for a cure for the one I love, I have spent years perfectly a way to make my desire to save my wife into something practical and finally it has presented itself to me, I have found a way to enhance the natural intelligence of the human mind,” the information was thick, as thick as the look in his eye that spoke of no trouble, only logical reason. Desperation could make people do insane things, but Orson did not need desperation to be unstable, his mind was a void, “I am too old, but you are young, you could increase your capacity, for a small price of unpleasantness for only moments, you could save hundreds of lives.”

bethany liked to think of herself a woman with depth, complexities, an enigma that could never be unraveled. she was wrong, she was not a woman of intricate nature, she was not a labyrinth one would get lost in, she was a girl with the most basic form of rebellion against her religious parents and a love for her brother that would make her do unspeakable things. she was a girl a bit too smart for her own good, but she was far from being a paradox of a person. moving forward to the handsome man in front of her, intrigue and naivety bringing her close to the man as he spoke words that would possibly ruin her life forever. she didn’t know this of course, distracted by his ethos and looks, thinking she was important for once. hearing his words flow out of his mouth with ease, intoxicating and addictive, the way he looked into her soul and spoke the things she tried to keep locked up but failed at doing so. “what do you mean?” she questioned, feeling like a spectator into frankensteins lab, the science of it all leaving her mouth watering as she wanted to know more. “i don’t think you’re too old for anything, sir.” a bit of kissing up, a bit of truth, but bethany sounded so unlike herself as it came out. “what is this unpleasantness? what is all of this?”

[samflewaway-deactivated20211001]

[naturaekos]

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once.

Haruki Murakami (via honeyedheart)

[wordsnquotes]

She always had that about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world.

Joanne Harris (via wordsnquotes)

[liquidnight]

I need someone to pour myself into.

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath  (via loveage-moondream)

[she-lives-to-write]

She’s the type of person to look you right in the eye when she lies, but not one to look you right in the eye when her heart is involved.

It’s not that she’s faint of heart, she’d just rather it stop than skip a beat because she’s not one for feeling weak. (via she-lives-to-write)

[bethanylaws-blog]

thefrenchflower:

“That sounds like most people on New Years Eve, I wouldn’t consider it all that boring.” Daisy gave the girl a small smile, shrugging. “I don’t know if something bad happened, I don’t think so…I’m still here aren’t I?” When she said the year, Daisy tried not to show how her heart stopped, her stomach dropping, as she tried to wrap her mind around her words. “1992? Damn it still feels like it’s pre-90s, you know what I mean?” She laughed, trying to play off how uncomfortable she felt now. “I can’t believe it.” That much, at least, was true.

“high expectations, i guess.” she did for everything, it was a major vice, as it always left her disappointed. she had grown used to the disappointment, a friend to join her misery, the company it so clearly desired. “that’s true, but you never know.” it was part of why bethany rarely got wasted, a fear for the unknown that could happen when she was lost in the sauce. “it never feels like the year it becomes, but we’ll get used to it. then once we do, it becomes 93.”