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Germany, 2017

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Christmas and New Years 2017

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Brian made this work of art completely from scratch?!!! I can't thank @cryingbook and @aacookstra enough for hosting the most incredibly thoughtful, unexpected, *Lannister-themed* brunch. My small heart grew three sizes today!

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A Very Texan Birthday ☀️⛵️⛱ (at Austin, Texas)

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Please Forgive Us at Blue Apron for This Week’s Meals. We’ve Been Having a Tough Time Lately

This box contains the ingredients and recipes for this week’s Blue Apron meals. We know you’ve come to expect a high standard of quality from Blue ...

Some Cereal

Prep Time: 20 seconds Cook Time: None Servings: 2

Sometimes we think we’ve got this whole cooking thing down and then sometimes we’re like, why do we even bother we’re the worst at this and everything is just a total mess. We’re all going to our parents’ house for the weekend to just catch up on some sleep. We were going to think of something better than cereal but then Sarah from finance mentioned that she read somewhere there are roughly 32,000 gun deaths per year in the United States and yet the government isn’t doing anything to make it harder to obtain firearms, and we just didn’t feel up to it.

Ingredients: Cheerios. Maybe. You might also have gotten Honey Bunches of Oats. We ran out of Cheerios.

Knick Knacks: Just eat it dry, OK?

Prepare the ingredients: Open cereal bag.

Plate the Dish: Pour the cereal into a bowl or mug or reach in there and pick out pieces of it while you scan through Twitter, compose a tweet with a joke about Paul Ryan’s vacant, emotionless expression and then delete it because honestly, what’s the point? Go to bed at 9 pm. Wake up at 12 am in a cold sweat, remember Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Agreement and the polar ice caps may melt, leaving much of the US underwater. Eat a few more handfuls. Just shove the shit directly into your mouth.

Wine Pairing: A shot, oh fuck it, two shots, it’s Thursday. Chase it with half a capful of NyQuil. Go crazy while you still can.

Read the rest.

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First time I've been ID'd for ice cream. 🥃(This is dark chocolate whiskey and sea salt.) #tipsyscoop #barlour #sundaefundae (at Tipsy Scoop)

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My nephew got my brother's face.

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Some decoration details from Monique’s magical bachelorette weekend!

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Monique’s Bridal Shower! 

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[quasi-normalcy]

I voted to release millions of hornets, and I already regret it

I’m an average citizen, like you. I could be your neighbor, your co-worker, a member of your extended family. I’m also one of the many, many people who recently voted to release millions of furious hornets into the air all around us. And I can already say I regret that decision.

And I know in the days following the vote I was a pretty sore winner, I know I tweeted and facebooked a lot of you like “they’re out now, deal with it” and “ha ha cry some more, now there are hornets.” I know I started an online business selling coffee mugs that said “The Hornets Will Sting You”.

But now that the hornets have pretty much blackened the entire sky – and are surrounding MY house as well, for reasons that are beyond me – I’m wondering if I really acted in my own best interests after all, re: the hornets.

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“You’re gonna be okay. If we look at our country’s history, change doesn’t come from presidents. Change comes from large groups of angry people. And if day one is any indication, you are part of the largest group of angry people I have ever seen.”

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Laugh to keep from crying! #dailyshow