Beth Noir

Being the account of a nervous queer. Allegedly a dumping ground for fanfiction, with potential to accept all refuse. SWERF and TERF free zone. AI is for pussies. AOL years old. AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BethNoir/works

[bethnoir-fic]

Heated Rivalry Fic Rec - Master Post

God Tier - the best of the best completed fics

home economics - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79154606/

it's all fun and games (series) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/5810876

please leave a message - https://archiveofourown.org/works/76008221

Throat Curtain? - https://archiveofourown.org/works/75388256/

I Like Jane For You - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77323121/

and I spit out the seeds - https://archiveofourown.org/works/72894606

Erased - https://archiveofourown.org/works/76957426/

the hand on the back of your neck - https://archiveofourown.org/works/82027471/ (CW warning)

frequently secretly fond of each other - https://archiveofourown.org/works/75380761/

Strongly Recommended - best of the WIPs / subscribe immediately

Hideaway - https://archiveofourown.org/works/76878451/

Closer to where you are (is where I must be) https://archiveofourown.org/works/82703591/

We Are African Americans......and Mark (Shane) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79088911/

puck and pretend - (Cliff/Hayden) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77620061/

Not A Puck Bunny - (Shane/Cliff) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78053526/

Rule 69.3 - Contact Inside the Goal Crease - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79054051/

Constellations - https://archiveofourown.org/works/75035636/

faulty planes and paper rings - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78133866/

homegrown (series - Home Economics AU) -https://archiveofourown.org/series/5910386 

snapping birch - https://archiveofourown.org/works/81167971/

Tearing Down Our Walls (series) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/5882811

High Quality / Low Comments - my faves that need attention

clean up on aisle 2 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79332026

You Were Never Not Mine - https://archiveofourown.org/works/80825496

Walls - https://archiveofourown.org/works/82053071

In Plain Sight - https://archiveofourown.org/works/80492471/

Boston Shane - self-explanatory

something you can fix series - https://archiveofourown.org/series/5588261

Boston Boys - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77463356/

Goalie Shane - for those who know puck

good on my own accord - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79091681/

Strindberg and Helium - Troy/Harris kinky shit

Father Figure - https://archiveofourown.org/works/82985106/

Velcro and Tape - https://archiveofourown.org/works/60879817

Daddy's Champ - https://archiveofourown.org/works/82301416

A Bushel and a Peck - https://archiveofourown.org/works/81328366/

Shake like the bough of a willow - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79475891

Something in Your Throat? - https://archiveofourown.org/works/83238061

Comedy - actually funny

The PDA Jar - https://archiveofourown.org/works/76186801/

your fave is problematic - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79088971/

the milano cortina incident - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79366716/

bad decisions - https://archiveofourown.org/works/76708441

Who Do You Love - https://archiveofourown.org/works/80697661

I'll Be Jane - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78242831

rage-bait (mine!) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78333301

The Great Jane Debacle of 2016 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79184966

baby's first paternity suit - https://archiveofourown.org/works/81884576

United We Stand - https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/210362486

are you having sex with my rookie? - https://archiveofourown.org/works/84655226/

Grady v. Rozanov - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78954156/

Experimental - different approaches to narrative

halt and catch fire - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77745341/

Force Majeure - https://archiveofourown.org/works/83968101/

Nasty - quality fuck stuff

Magnetic Fields - https://archiveofourown.org/works/75379781

Ring The Bells That Still Can Ring - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77271711

Free Treasure - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77323081

hope it hurts like you hurt me - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79898801

Split Lip - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79844486

you're the only one I keep so close - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79567126

let's make a deal - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79454846

happy wife, happy life - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79227011

What You Are In These Hotel Rooms - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78997981

free rein - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77460146/

More Than Pretty - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77457556

the softest part of me - https://archiveofourown.org/works/75334251

Laceration - https://archiveofourown.org/works/81052751/

Jane - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79405526/

lucky bastard - https://archiveofourown.org/works/74995891

tied up in the third (and sent to overtime) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/81304131/

the glasses stay on during sex - https://archiveofourown.org/works/80758181

Lavender - https://archiveofourown.org/works/76461441

dirty play - https://archiveofourown.org/works/82146721

lip service - https://archiveofourown.org/works/82671831

rot (depopulate me) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/81393366

Post-TLG / AU Variations - self-explanatory

Play Hard - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78852606/

a sound is still a sound around no one - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79391171/

I really hope you're gonna get out soon - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78810681/

If it wasn't for that meddling kid - https://archiveofourown.org/works/77932356/

nothing makes me feel as good - https://archiveofourown.org/works/82368031

Missed Understandings - https://archiveofourown.org/works/79983486/

kiss me just once for luck (these are desperate measures) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78623251

anthems for a 17 year old - https://archiveofourown.org/works/83708261

Soulmates (or Shane and Ilya winning the Love Game) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/71488831/

ballad of the bisexual terminator - https://archiveofourown.org/works/83356746

me and my wild boy, and all of this wild joy - https://archiveofourown.org/works/76704901

Let Shane Hollander Crash Out (series) - https://archiveofourown.org/series/5977051

baby, you’re not the only one - https://archiveofourown.org/works/83067451/

Unorthodox - unusual couples among the usuals

The Hottest Cold War - (Ilya/Scott) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78232066/

hand in hand, let's play with fire (Shane/Ilya/Troy) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/78369496

Three's A Pattern (Ilya/Cliff) - https://archiveofourown.org/works/80236041

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

[theashesofthefirststar]

Lestat killing people: campy, sexy, uncomplicated fun

Armand killing people: I SEND A PESTILENCE AND A PLAUGE INTO YOUR HOUSE INTO YOUR BED INTO YOUR STREAM INTO YOUR-

[bethnoir-fic]

Armand could have pushed Brandon Stark out the window, become CEO of Waystar Royco, broken up the Hollanov marriage, and I'd still be face-down-ass-up-Alexa-play-"Slut Me Out" for Armand.

[bethnoir-fic]

What if it's Gabrielle and not Gabriella who rolls up to get Louis after Akasha kidnaps Lestat? There might be something to the idea that we haven't seen the real Gabrielle and Gabriella could be Akasha in disguise? I'm curious how we've had two shots already of what looks like Gabriella's hair left behind her in long pieces so what's that all about?

But then again I was going "Armand was framed! Sam is really Santino and he's the one who did it!" before the season 2 finale dropped, so who's to say?

[bethnoir-fic]

Is anyone else noticing the actor who might be playing Fabian just posted a story indicating he is on his way to Canada today?

[romulan-gf]

Half the time whenever people are like “I want more female characters like x” I’m like you all just want Selina Meyer from Veep. “I want more complex and well written female characters” Selena Meyer. “I want more unlikeable morally bankrupt female characters.” Selena Meyer. “I want more evil but pathetic female characters.” So Selena Meyer. “More female characters you want to study like a bug.” You want Selena Meyer.

[wulfhalls]

we used to have real writing on television

[froufoxs]

let him be evillllll

[creepypapervamp]

Posting my theory before the finale next week:

1. I think Regina is Akasha. her name means Queen! this does not seem subtle to me. I think she went to New York specifically to distract and mindfuck Louis so that he would be cut off from Lestat

why? because she needs Lestat isolated and motivated to crank out vampire summoning songs

this leads me to:

2. I think Sophia is Akasha. she's there with Lestat doing nothing other than pushing the great conversion agenda. I think Gabriella existed, possibly still exists, but the woman that showed up isn't her.

this would also explain why Sophia seems so flat as a character... she isn't real, she's like a one-note manipulation puppet

3. originally I thought that Akasha was projecting or something but I now think that there is an actual shape-shifting real life meatspace body that was sometimes Regina and sometimes Sophia

In the episode New York, there's a throwaway line about Regina missing some time, off and on, with Louis

THEN at the end of the episode, the bus stops in the middle of nowhere, and "Sophia" gets on. she then convinces Lestat to keep making music

at one point Lestat complains that Sophia was gone for 2 weeks (9 days?). I think that's when she was meeting Louis as Regina

4. if Sophia was ever actually real, I think she was no longer herself when she reappeared at the bus

5. if you assume that the "moi" and "toi" chat is between Lestat and Louis, then you'll see that she magically shows up every time he's about to reach out to Louis for help

[ilyapasta]

Ilya and Shane found their love for the first time in Tampa, Florida. There's nothing we can do to change that.

[lastoneout]

Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.

[vesnuszki]

ive said this before and ill say it again we are not getting a liveblog of the season 2 filming like we got for season 1 from ANYONE. people have crossed so many lines and have been so vile and have acted like any of them owe „fans” a peek into their private lives. all the filming is gonna be kept under TIGHT wraps and restraining orders are gonna get slapped left and right. and you know what?? Good. if that’s what gives them a SLIVER of peace of mind.

[bethnoir-fic]

Is there anyone else watching The Vampire Lestat who hasn't forgotten about Regina and Akasha and how there's a pretty good chance we're going to see them merge with Claudia into Kill-All-Men-Voltron for the finale?

[military-newsboys]

Yuna: Congratulations. The two of you have just won gold and silver in the Moron Olympics.

Shane:

Ilya:

Shane: Who won gold?

[darlingofdots]

people who definitely know that Hollander and/or Rozanov have A Thing With A Man (of variably certain identity):

various dentists

hotel housekeeping staff

the kid who works late shifts at the drugstore where Ilya buys condoms (often) and lube (less often)

cleaners and laundry service employees

a kid on vacation with his parents in Vegas bored out of his mind because he's 14 and not allowed in the bars or casinos at their hotel and he's really hitting the grumpy teenager phase so he's pissed at his parents because he wanted to go birdwatching in the desert and instead he's on the hotel roof at night pointing his sick-ass binoculars (which he bought himself with money he earned by mowing their neighbours' lawns for a year) at the surrounding buildings and oh look there's two people making out on that rooftop terrace—wait, isn't that the guy from the Rolex ads?

Janice at the grocery store closest to the Hollander cottages who knows damn well that "David's boy" doesn't eat Nutella

the Voyageurs' nutritionist knows Hollander is fucking someone working for the Bears because he might not log it as sex but even Hollander doesn't actually do extra cardio after a game

employee at an airport phone repair kiosk in Chicago who was checking Ilya’s battery specs when "Jane" texted him "If I win you suck my dick first"

one of the parents at Game Changers Hockey Camp who is a couple's counsellor and a bit too good at her job

Gerry (78) three doors down from the Hollanders who has lived in his house since he was born and has made it his solemn duty to know everything that goes on in his neighbourhood

the owner of the bespoke jeweller's shop once Shane Hollander purchases the second ring, which is identical to the first, and a plain gold chain

the apprentice of the bespoke jeweller's shop a week before that when he recognises the ring he watched his boss make for Shane Hollander sitting on Ilya Rozanov's bare chest in a post-game interview on TV

[sobadbad]

FROZEN PLANET II 2.01 • Frozen Worlds

[bethnoir-fic]

Are there any fics that commit to Shane and Ilya committing to their fake identities as Jane and Lily when they text? Because even in the books they are still talking to each other as themselves and if anyone got nosy, they couldn't convince the wall they were talking to a girl.