Here.

I know things and I do things.

[betsbets]

Fucking ab work, man.

I farted THE loudest fart in hot Pilates tonight doing some ultra crunch nonsense. Fortunately, the Thong song (cool choice Pilates instructor) was blaring so there is a chance nobody heard it. And I didn’t smell anything (thank god, between the shame and the humidity I would’ve died). But, all the same, I’m sending an apology out (via the universe) to the girl in front of me. Sorry about that, my b.

[betsbets]

I need new spring work shirts

And I swear to fucking Plus Size Jesus, if I see one more fucking ruffle or one more nonsensical strap I will lose my mind.

But for real? What a fat girl gotta do to look profesh to death? Or just not like a cartoon piñata?!

Also!! Who decided the colors this season are marigold yellow and whispers of dusty rose? These are the worst colors. You are the worst. Everyone is terrible. Y’ever heard of blue? Now that’s a great color. Fucking universal. Everyone looks good in blue.

[betsbets]

I think I’m gonna like it here

[betsbets]

Move along. Just a girl with a lot of feelings.

I had my final recital on Friday and today was the last day of lessons. Oh man. I cried and cried. Some students have been there since I opened in 2011. I’ve watched some grow up. They all gave me the sweetest cards and I read them and cried all over again. And I guess I never let myself cry so then I came home and tried to unwind by watching the last episode of Schitts Creek and cried some more.

Then I booked my flight. January 4, 2018. Buying a one way ticket is the weirdest thing. Like I’ve got no where else to go and no other options. I’m going stay in air bnbs at first to see where I want to be. I booked the first one tonight and I am stoooooooooked! Also I’m scared. Like jumping in a bouncy castle when you know you have the butt throw ups. Also, its like I’m so full of angsty nervous energy I can’t relax.

[sweetoothgirl]

HAVREFLARN – THIN OAT COOKIES WITH CHOCOLATE AND SEA SALT

[betsbets]

Holy mother forking shirtballs.

Who did the score for Stranger Things season 2?!?!? We are in a fight- as soon as I stop feeling sick to my stomach and so scared my limbs are shaking.

[betsbets]

You ever just think real hard about how wonderful dogs are and how loyal and loving they are and just how they are the all around best. And then maybe you like cry for 10 straight minutes. Yea? ME TOO!!!!

[betsbets]

I haven't told my current job so I can't tell anyone but you-

I just got a new job in Palo Alto. I'm moving to Ca. All. By. Myself. Oof feelin' really mid-life crisis-y. But it's a really great job and I'm really excited. My goal is to get a dog.

[sweetoothgirl]

MOCHA CHOCOLATE CHUNK COOKIES

[betsbets]

Season 3 of Kimmy Schmidt is my favorite! Every Titus song is amazing. Did they get the guy from Bob's Burger?!? Love it so hard

[betsbets]

If something even remotely positive happened every time I interviewed 1+ times for a job and didn't get it, I'd be.... just, like, a lot less toxic version of a human being.

[betsbets]

Ok but, like, this giant eyebrow trend- is it over yet?

[betsbets]

I just got back from a trip to Niagara on the Lake with my sisters that was, essentially, a four day wine soaked, winery tour-apalooza. At one winery the tour guide suggested pairing a Gewurtztraminer with cool ranch Doritos along with adding "consume an entire bag of chips with a bottle of wine while sitting on the couch" to your bucket list. I've never felt more connected to another human being in my entire life. I kinda wanted to ask her to marry me.

[betsbets]

My job is weird

I just left the gym with my last patient of the day but now I'm staying late at work to find a NOT AWKWARD way to address personal hygiene with a 30 year old client (my peer!). Homie does NOT shower! Why can't a find a clip of Sam Weir complaining about Gordon Crisp on Freaks and Geeks. I'm hungry I have to go home and eat dinner.

[betsbets]

I blanched some asparagus last night to eat for lunch today and that's just the nicest thing I've done for myself in long, long time. Also? For the third week in a row I've managed to get my hands on the most delicious cherries.

[betsbets]

I was talking to someone about my job last weekend at my birfday party. And it hit me square in the face, I am doing my dream job. I mean, it's not perfect and my boss is human garbage but I LOVE what I do. Also!! My 30th birthday party was amazing. I had so much fun. Aside from the convo on my job, I don't know if I talked to anyone. I may have lured all my friends into a room, locked 'em in, and made them watch me have the time of my life. I have no idea. I just drank a butt ton of anything anyone put in my hands and sang my guts out. Oh and I made everyone wear fake mustaches and costume glasses. For a brief, glorious moment, I could've passed for Ron Swanson's sister.

[betsbets]

I drank an iced coffee at 5pm.

I may never sleep again. I've been doing arts and crafts for HOURS!!