The "Better than Harry Potter" blog

The place where anything but Harry Potter is promoted

[betterthanharrypotter]

Ten Reasons Why Living in Harry Potter’s Magical World Would Suck—Especially for Muggle-Born Wizards

The Harry Potter series captured the imagination of millions by painting a world where magic exists just beyond the veil of our reality. Wands, enchanted castles, flying broomsticks, and spells that solve everyday problems sound like a dream come true. Yet beneath the charm and wonder, J.K. Rowling’s magical universe contains structural inequities, cultural backwardness, and systemic dangers that…

[laurfinde]

Bilbo stumbles toward a nearby bench when Frodo gives him the news. 

Balin. Oin. Ori. His friends, fallen. Like the autumn leaves in Rivendell. Soon they will all be gone. Never to return.

[betterthanharrypotter]

bofur: everybody say sausage keep it going

bofur: eggs bacon grits SAUSAGE

bofur: go to rivendell and there aint no SAUSAGE

thorin: elves too dry to be ridin my SAUSAGE

ori: don't tell dori that i take the SAUSAGE

dori: WHICH ONE OF YOU TOUCHED MY BROTHER'S SAUSAGE

nori: i do my hair nice and i go get the SAUSAGE

dwalin: i got a bald head but i still get the SAUSAGE

balin: got a white beard and i still get the SAUSAGE

bifur: -signs- i'll sign you a tale about getting the SAUSAGE

oin: can't hear you over all this SAUSAGE

bombur: i cook so well that i always get SAUSAGE

gloin: my wife's at home missing all this SAUSAGE

fili: if you like my moustache braids than you'll love my SAUSAGE

kili: hey uncle didn't you want that hobbit's SAUSAGE

everyone: SAUSAGE SAUS SAUS SAUS SAUS SAUSAGE

bilbo: ...WAIT I THOUGHT WE WERE TALKIN BOUT THE BREAKFAST SAUSAGE

[queenerestor]

when your brother doesn’t like your boyfriend

[queenerestor]

When your brother doesn’t like your boyfriend part 2 (part 1)

[mhaikkun]

the sickest

[seadeepspaceontheside]

[tolkienslut]

Thanks to all of you that helped me remember how real Bagginshield is. They are smol and gay and perfect, I’m glad I found my way back home.

[anunexpectedhotdwarf]

best part tbh

[wickedcoolstuff]

Bilbo’s Hobbit door pendant necklace via Etsy

[sugarcoateddarling]

My Reader’s Guide to The Silmarillion

In No Real Order- Do What You Want, This is Based on My Experience

Grab some post it notes ( small or you can tear some big ones ) You’re going to need them. 

It’s easy to get lost amongst all the words when you’re reading the Silm, so if you think you need to go back. You probably do. Just pop a post it in any place you think you don’t understand. Feel free to go ahead and go back to that lil post it when you think you’re ready.

Grab whatever size notebook you know you’ll be able to carry around with you. When you’re done with maybe 3-4 pages -STAHP- take out a pen or pencil and write what you’ve learned. Check for anything you missed that’s important. Writing tends to leave a lasting print on your mind. This notebook will be your Summary Notebook. Write in short sentences or bullets

Whip out a nice drink. ( Not alcohol or anything too sugary, something soothing that can keep you focused ) It may take a while to get from one place to another and it’s easy to lose count of time. 

Taking breaks is fine. You have your post its to remind you where you last were. If you think you’ve forgotten the last events, check your Summary Notebook. 

READ WHEN YOU’RE FULLY AWAKE. Probably early in the night or in the middle of the day.

GO ON TUMBLR do anything to help you find an image in your mind of the events or even just characters. Visualizing is important. If you can’t do it now, do it later when you’re motivated.

When you do get around to finishing the Silm, grab that Summary Notebook. Reread it all. It should clarify events. Any theories you have can be written in there. 

[goodgirlheather-blog]

BOTFA EE SPOILER

Thorin (and Fili & Kili) lives and declares the theatrical version of BOTFA nothing but Filthy Elvish Propaganda.

[betterthanharrypotter]

Someone: *is rude to Bilbo*

Thorin: *hand goes to hilt*

Bilbo: Thorin, no. Kill them with kindness.

Thorin: *takes out sword anyway*

Bilbo: Thorin, what did I just say?

Thorin: Kill them with kindness. I've recently renamed this sword Kindness.

Bilbo: *glares* Thorin, no.

Thorin: *smiles* Thorin, yes.

[betterthanharrypotter]

Bilbo: I'm going to stay as a bachelor.

Bilbo: *sees Thorin*

Bilbo: Meat's back on the Menu, boys.

[baggvinshield]

i’ll never get over the fact that smaug attacks bilbo’s personal relationship with thorin, oakenshield has weighed the value of your life and found it worth nothing, and it’s the only moment during the smaug confrontation where bilbo truly gets flustered, where he speaks honestly and without deceit; up until and after this point bilbo lies his face off and is pretty composed. smaug knew just where to drive the knife, he knew how to play on bilbo’s feelings for thorin and that’s. pretty amazing. i daresay bilbo is more concerned about whether thorin cares about him then he is about the fact that he’s arguing with a live dragon. 

[killedbyanacorn]

“Where are you going?” said Thorin, in a tone that seemed to show that he guessed both halves of the hobbit’s mind.

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

Thorin and Bilbo’s almost telepathic relationship which is pretty obvious in the movies, confirmed in the first chapter of The hobbit.

[alwaysreadytofight]

Just imagine an ending where no one dies at the end of BOTFA. Instead of planting that acorn in the blood soaked snow, bilbo plants it in the fields and they watch it grow. Maybe he and Thorin get married by it. Maybe the company sits beneath it on sunny days. Maybe bilbo brings a young Frodo to the tree and tells him the story of how they defeated a dragon and reclaimed the mountain. Maybe everyone can just be happy for once instead of crushing my heart.

[killedbyanacorn]

Bagginshield version of You had me at hello..