Laenor’s sexuality was not a secret
There’s a very common misconception in the fandom that everyone in Laenor’s family tried to hide the fact that he is gay, out of fear of the repercussions the truth could have. However, Laenor’s own behaviour shows that he did not make any attempt to conceal his interest in men, nor did the people around him keep up this great act of secrecy.
One of the first descriptions given of Laenor is that people have made note of his lack of interest in women as contrast to his preference for men:
One objection was raised: Laenor Velaryon was now nineteen years of age, yet had never shown any interest in women. Instead he surrounded himself with handsome squires of his own age, and was said to prefer their company.
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
At the time of his proposed marriage, comments are openly made about Laenor, with Rhaenyra herself acknowledging her future husband’s homosexuality:
But Grand Maester Mellos dismissed this concern out of hand. “What of it?” he said. “I do not like the taste of fish, but when fish is served, I eat it.”
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
The princess knew much and more about Laenor Velaryon, and had no wish to be his bride. “My half-brothers would be more to his taste,” she told the king.
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
It’s also a topic of discussion at the Green Council, with Criston being very homophobic. If a Kingsguard randomly called a nobleman gay, it would be very improper. But Criston’s words go unopposed because everyone around him is aware of Laenor’s sexuality:
He spoke of Rhaenyra’s wanton ways and the infamy of her husband. “They will turn the Red Keep into a brothel. No man’s daughter will be safe, nor any man’s wife. Even the boys…we know what Laenor was.”
— Fire & Blood, The Dying of the Dragons
Many doubt Laenor’s role as the father of his children precisely because of his complete disinterest in women:
In his Testimony, the fool puts forth the notion that “the little mice” had been sired not by the Sea Snake’s son, but by the Sea Snake himself. Lord Corlys did not share Ser Laenor’s erotic predispositions, he points out.
— Fire & Blood, The Dying of the Dragons
On Laenor’s part, he had no intention to hide an integral part of himself. He is clearly very open about his feelings for another man:
The groom’s favorite, Ser Joffrey Lonmouth, known as the Knight of Kisses. When Rhaenyra bestowed her garter on Ser Harwin, her new husband laughed and gave one of his own to Ser Joffrey.
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
Borne bloody from the field, Ser Joffrey died without recovering consciousness six days later. Mushroom tells us that Ser Laenor spent every hour of those days at his bedside and wept bitterly when the Stranger claimed him.
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
The book also emphasized Rhaenyra’s unwillingness to be with Laenor. Even before her marriage, she made her opinion known and chose Harwin for herself. So just as Rhaenyra is shown to keep her lover, Harwin, around her all the time in public, Laenor did the same with his lovers. Neither of them are in the habit of downplaying themselves for the sake of others’ delicate sensibilities:
Ser Laenor returned to Driftmark thereafter, leaving many to wonder if his marriage had ever been consummated. The princess remained at court, surrounded by her friends and admirers. Ser Criston Cole was not amongst them, having gone over entirely to the queen’s party, the greens, but the massive and redoubtable Breakbones (or Brokenbones, as Mushroom had it) filled his place, becoming the foremost of the blacks, ever at Rhaenyra’s side at feast and ball and hunt. Her husband raised no objections. Ser Laenor preferred the comforts of High Tide, where he soon found a new favorite in a household knight named Ser Qarl Correy.
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
The real issue about homosexuality in-universe is that male/female relationships are prioritized for the sake of the family bloodline. So the secret being covered up is not Laenor’s sexuality, but that he is not the biological father of his sons. For a society that prizes masculinity, it would be truly scandalous that a husband did not father his own children on his wife, but another man did in his stead. The situation is made more precarious due to Rhaenyra’s status as the crown princess. This elevates her affair with Harwin from a social scandal to high treason, the punishment for which can range anywhere from being disinherited to exile to execution:
He had heard her sons called “Strongs.” To so name them was tantamount to saying they were bastards, with no rights of succession…and that she herself was guilty of high treason.
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
Hence both Laenor and Rhaenyra are only shown reacting to comments about their sons’ parentage:
“Do keep trying,” Queen Alicent told Ser Laenor, according to Mushroom, “soon or late, you may get one who looks like you.” And the rivalry between the greens and blacks grew deeper, finally reaching the point where the queen and the princess could scarce suffer each other’s presence. Thereafter Queen Alicent kept to the Red Keep, whilst the princess spent her days on Dragonstone, attended by her ladies, Mushroom, and her champion, Ser Harwin Strong. Her husband, Ser Laenor, was said to visit “frequently.”
— Fire & Blood, Heirs of the Dragon
While Rhaenyra does have to worry that she can be legally punished for her affair with Harwin, the situation is different for Laenor. There’s absolutely nothing in book canon to indicate Laenor would be killed just for being gay. He may be subject to homophobia from individual actors and publicly mocked as a cuckold, if his sexuality became more widespread public knowledge, but there is no Westerosi law that says gay people should be put to death.
Same sex relationships are not some extreme taboo in Westeros, unlike how it is in parts of the real world. Obviously homophobia does exist in the books but it’s to a lesser degree. For the most part though, Westerosi typically turn a blind eye to each other’s “bedroom habits”.
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