um... so hi! i've been on hiatus (unintentionally) i guess. lol. i know i haven't updated in months and there's been no news from me and i'm surprised some of you still follow me but i'm starting to write more now and hopefully it can get my creative juices flowing again to finish stories and get new ones out. here's just a little something i've had and thought i'd get it out. enjoy~
“I wish you could come…” He sounded forlorn and quiet, unlike his usual happy-go-lucky self.
“Oh Patrick. I wish I could too but my exams are coming up.” She bit her lips before she could burst out her secret. It broke her heart seeing, or more like hearing, him like this. It was hard to keep quiet about her news, but she really wanted to wait until he could see for himself.
“You’re my good luck charm y’know.” He muttered and she could hear rustlings and what sounds to be like the banging of a cupboard in the background. Was he eating ice cream the day before a program? What would his coach say about this? “I didn’t do too well in the short.”
She tried to act mad to distract him. “I knew you only want me there to be your good luck charm. And here I thought you actually miss me. Hmph.”
The rustlings stopped and she knew she had his attention now. “Of course I miss you! If you were here right now I’d be getting some exercise with you instead of eating this mint chocolate chip ice cream.”
“Patrick!” She scolded, embarrassed by the not so subtle intention of his statement, as his laughter filled her ears.
“You’re blushing aren’t you?”
“No!”
“You are!” He insisted with a chuckle as he continued to tease her.
She went along with his teasing if only to hear him laugh. A sad Patrick didn't go well with her heart.
Only a couple of hours now.
~
Patrick shook his limbs to calm his beating heart and get rid of excess energy. It wouldn't do to be over-excited as he was next to skate and he had to be absolutely perfect to recover from yesterday’s score. He took a deep breath and took to the rink.
Just like in Detroit now.
There was a quick moment of applause as he skated to his position in the middle of the rink then silence.
That’s when he heard it.
“Go Patrick!”
His head snapped up at the familiar voice and he couldn't help the smile from appearing when he laid eyes on her. Acknowledging her thumbs up, he knew he would nail this routine.
Because his good luck charm was here.
Extended Ending
“You did it!” She squealed as he proceeded to spin her around, the gold medal on his chest swinging at the motion. “I’m so proud.” She smiled, placing a hand on his cheek.
“It’s because of you y’know.” He turned just so to place a kiss on the edge of her palm. “I thought you had exams to study for?”
“I do. I just told myself that I need to study extra hard after this looong break.” She smiled with a wink. “Plus, how could I let you skate without your good luck charm eh?”
She giggled as he pulled her into a kiss- one that left her dizzy and mentally patting herself on the back.
Ok! First of all I am so sorry for like leaving this blog for months and just now started to come back to it and I haven't even updated or started anything major like I said I would so I like to apologize to all of you that kept checking for something to change but nothing happened... Yea. Sorry about that. >w<
But I am back with renewed vigor to finish my David Luiz story like I said I would after I finished with Mesut's. So here I am and I hope it reaches your expectations and everything because let's face it I haven't written in a while and I feel like it's going down the drain so anyways I hope you like this update. (And I'm still really sorry. :/)
Enjoy and as always feel free to scream at me for leaving or tell me how it is lol~
“So someone left this for you…”
I looked up to see Michelle with an envelope in her hand. I recognized the handwriting in the front instantly and swallowed as I took it out of her hands, knowing full well what it held inside.
“Well? Aren’t you gonna open it?” Her voice cut into my thoughts.
I shook my head before taking it and placed it in my locker, down in the confines of my bag.
“Ugh. Stop looking like that.” Michelle nudged me with her shoulders, her nose scrunched up in annoyance. “I’d take you smiling like an idiot than this rain cloud you’ve got over your head. It’s depressing.”
“I don’t know what to do, Michelle.” I sighed as thoughts of a certain curly Brazilian filled my head. “He wants me to move with him. To England.”
“Say what?!”
“I know. That’s what I said.” I bit my lip, not really seeing her surprised expression as my eyes looked across the distance.
“You’ve hardly known each other for a week. Doesn’t he think that’s too fast?”
“I said that too. But I was only considering it because of Zane’s treatments. The doctor said the medicine there would help him even more than if he stayed here.”
“Oh…”
“Yea. Oh…” I sighed once more before turning to her, indecision clear in my eyes. “What do I do?”
“That’s a tough call, Selene. England is another country. You’ll need a job and a place to stay. In such short notice too.”
I bit my lip and lay my head on the table, arms covering my head. “He said he’ll take care of everything.”
“Oh… well then. That’s a different story.” She tapped her chin in thought before shrugging. “He’s good looking, has money, takes care of you… I think that’s an easy call.”
“I’ve known him for about a week, Michelle.”
“Yea and he’s got you all lovey dovey that it kind of makes me miss the serious you but not really because at least now you’re smiling more and less stressed. Except now.” She raised an eyebrow with a smile before taking a sip out of her drink. “But you were happy and that’s the best a person can be.”
Now I was scrunching up my nose then ruffled my hair in frustration. “I don’t know what to do. Everything came out of nowhere especially him and now my life is upside down and I don’t have a handle on anything. And, God, I hate that feeling.”
“I know you do but maybe it’s a sign. You’ve always been here for years working and working and working for something that’s enough for you and Zane. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.” She reached over to pat my shoulder. I shook my head and got up, taking a rag to clean the already clean counter. I had to do something. All this thinking was giving me a headache.
“Maybe I should pick up an extra shift tonight.” I mumbled. That will take my mind off of this.
“Oh no you won’t!” Michelle poked her head out from the back. “No more shifts! You’re going home and resting.” I sighed for the umpteenth time and threw down the rag on the counter with my head following it.
This was going to be a long day.
~
I smiled as I gazed at Zane’s sleeping face- so peaceful- like nothing was wrong in the world. I slipped the remote out of his hand and turned it off so it wouldn’t disturb him. He would always leave the TV on- typical Zane. Pulling a chair closer to his bed, I ran a hand through his hair; a small sigh escaped his lips.
I was glad they let me stayed a night tonight since usually they would send me home. The staff always joked that if I stayed here any longer then I might as well live here, which wasn’t far off the mark.
My eyes twitched as the only sound was the steady beeping of his heart monitor and reluctantly turn on the TV, lowering the volume so it wouldn’t be too loud for Zane but not low enough that it wouldn’t drown the beeping. No wonder he would always leave the TV on at night.
“…Sel?”
I turned to Zane and smiled apologetically. “Sorry did I wake you?”
He yawned and smiled as he shook his head. I entwined my hand with his and brushed his hair back. “How’re you feeling?”
“Good.” He blinked sleepily at me. “David came by today.”
My hand froze before resuming their movements. “Oh did he?”
“Yea.” He grinned and his hand tightened around mine. “He said he might see me soon even though he’s leaving so it’s not a goodbye but a see you later.”
“Oh…”
“Will we, Selene?” His hazel orbs were wide as he looked at me. “He’s going back to London in the morning. And I don’t think he’ll have time to visit. Will we see him again?”
“I…” I looked away from his questioning gaze and sighed. “Do you want to see him again?” I rubbed his hair absentmindedly as I listened to his answer, not wanting to go against his decision yet wanting the best for him.
He nodded enthusiastically and I wanted to fall into a hole right then and there. Zane’s excited words were drowned out by my mind’s thoughts. Things were too complicated. It was too short notice. Was I ready? Ready to get out of this place and start somewhere new? Things wouldn’t be the same. But then when was it ever the same since he came?
He turned my whole life outside down. Made me experience feelings I had never felt before. It was invigorating and frustrating at the same time. It was like I wasn’t me but I was.
“This was a turning point in my life and I knew, after seeing you, spending time with you, I’d never be the same again. And just know that… even if we were thousands of miles away, I’d never stop thinking about you.”
I looked towards Zane as he fell asleep once more. Brushing his hair away from his face, I gripped his hand and put my head down on the bed.
“If I was being honest…” I murmured softly as sleep came over me.
You were my turning point too.
~
“David, let’s go! The plane will leave us if we wait any longer and as much as I love you, I’d rather not be stuck here with you.”
An impatient Oscar was tapping his foot in agitation at his curly-haired friend. He wanted Selene to come so David would be happy but it just seemed like she wasn’t showing up anytime soon. It was way past the time she should be here and knowing how she was, she wouldn’t be late for anything. Now if only David could see that.
“Are you guys coming?” Lucas called out from the gate. Oscar made a motion to a brooding David that wouldn’t budge and the younger Brazilian sighed before walking over. “David…” He started to say, touching his friend’s shoulder.
“She’ll be here. I know she will.” David’s voice was tight just like his hands gripping his jacket with iron fists.
“I’m sorry, David, but we have to board now or the boss will leave us behind and we’ll have to take another plane back and be delayed.” Lucas reasoned.
“Then I’ll take another plane.”
An exasperated sigh was heard from Oscar and he walked away with hands in the air, obviously giving up changing his friend’s mind. David wasn’t budging at all and he knew how stubborn he could be. But he came back to try once more.
“What did you expect from asking her to do something like this?”
“I thought she would do it.” David sighed, before looking at Oscar like a kicked puppy.
“It’s a big move for someone like her y’know.” Lucas added when he saw cracks in David’s defense. “She seems like the type to think long and hard about things and then have plans to think long and hard about it then have plans about that too.”
“But I would have everything ready for her. She doesn’t need to do anything. Zane would be taken care of and everything.” He sighed, holding his head in his hands when realization came over him. “It was too fast wasn’t it? I overwhelmed her. I messed up.”
His two friends looked at each other in frustration. This could go on forever and they were sure they would get in trouble if this would go on any longer.
“Well come on. You can apologize to her on the plane. Call her or something.” Lucas grabbed one of his arms while Oscar grabbed his carry-on. “Let’s go home.”
David didn’t say anything but let himself be dragged up and started to dejectedly walk to the gate, but not without one last lingering look behind him, hoping that she would come running into his arms.
But his arms remained empty, save for Lucas’s hand that was tugging him to hurry. And before he knew it, he was heading home feeling like his arms weren’t the only thing that was feeling empty.
yoooo~ i'm back from the dead. yikes! sorry for not updating for so long. did you guys miss me? haha. i've been busy with a lot of things lately so idk when i'll have time to write again but i've been trying to find time to get at least some one shots out. sooo yea... lol.
anyways this was for the anon that asked for a gonzalo one for the-perks-of-being-a-geezer. ahhh~ i know it's been like a long ass time since you requested it. sorry. anyways! i'll shut up now. hope you like! :)
“I’m leaving this club.” The man shown on the tv said.
She was washing the dishes when she heard it, almost dropping the plate she held in her soapy hand. She must have heard it wrong. She rewound the clip, her heart pounding in her ears. Must be a mistake.
“I’m leaving this club.”
“No.” a whispered word left her lips. Another push of a button.
“I’m leaving this club.”
“No. No, no, no.”
“...leaving this club.”
“Leaving...”
The word echoed in the empty apartment as she fell backwards to the couch. The screen paused on her Argentinean boyfriend’s face- devoid of the smile she loved. He was serious almost indifferent, which stung a bit. Did he not know the weight of his words?
She watched the rest of the interview stone-faced. Anger, confusion, and sadness filled her very being. Anger at him, at the club… but mostly him because he didn’t tell her any of this beforehand. Her lips tugged downwards when questions arose: where would he go? What would happen to their relationship? Did this mean they were going to break up?
Her heart clenched in pain at the thought. He promised he wasn’t going anywhere- he was staying here- with her. But obviously not. She glared at the sight of him finishing the interview tight-lipped, knowing that everything was out of the bag.
A sound alerted her and she reached for the vibrating phone. Her eyes narrowed as she read the name, shaking her head before throwing the vibrating phone to the other side of the couch, the screen flashing the beloved nickname: Pipita ❤
“Of course he would call now. After a week of not talking now he wants to talk. Puta.” She muttered crossly, crossing her arms in defiance.
She fumed in silence, glaring at the still picture on the television and repeating the mantra of ‘don’t cry’ over and over again. Sometime between the need to cry and screaming in frustration, she fell into a fitful sleep.
When she woke, she felt warm and a nice smell was permeating from her kitchen. She quickly sat up from the couch and threw the covers away, narrowing her eyes at the figure in her kitchen.
“Good morning.” He beamed at her, the smile now back on his face albeit a bit stiff. Oh he knew. He knew he was going to get it.
Her eyes roamed over the set plates and the delicious smell coming from the prepared food on the table then, without speaking a word or a bat of an eye, swiftly turned around and locked herself in the bathroom.
“Babe! Come on don’t be like this.” His fist rapped on the door multiple times, exasperation dripping from his voice.
She turned on the shower to muffle the knocks and went to the sink to splash water on her face. How dare he? How dare he show his face here after that comment? She eyed her reflection. She didn’t sleep well last night; her dark circles were more prominent and her eyes were a bit red as if she had been crying. Sighing she turned away and jumped in the shower, forgetting about the knocks as the hot water washed away the disappointment and dulling the heartache.
Feeling better after the shower she hopped out and got dressed. There were a bit of color on her face and she tried a smile in the mirror. A grimace? Good enough.
“What the-?” She jumped back after opening the door as a familiar face fell back. Was he sitting at the door the whole time? She shook her head. Doesn’t matter.
“Hola bonita.” He smiled at her.
Rolling her eyes she stepped over his fallen body, trying to hide the curling of her lips.
No. You are mad at him okay. Do not stand down. He won’t get away with this so easily.
“Babe...” he cooed, wrapping his defined arms around her body as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.
She twitched when he nuzzled behind her ear, placing a soft kiss on her favorite spot. She was sure he could feel her tense up and she could feel teeth marks where she bit her lip to keep quiet.
“Gonzalo.” She said firmly, grateful that her tone of voice didn’t betray her wavering feelings.
He stopped as if noticing the tension and she let him turn her body to face him, though her eyes stayed downcast looking at his mismatched socks. He probably dressed in the dark again. With a sigh, she resisted the urge to roll her eyes or make a snarky comment.
“Look at me niña.”
“Why should I?” She jerked her head away from his reaching hand.
“Don’t be like this... please.”
“Excuse you?” Her eyes flashed dangerously and she finally met his gaze with fire. She could tell he was a bit taken aback because his shoulder tensed and his eyes flicked over her head, avoiding the furious laser pointed at his face. She smiled triumphantly in her mind. Served you right. “Why don’t you look at me now?”
His hand rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Oh he was going to get it now.
“So you want to talk?” She walked to the table filled with the breakfast he prepared and sat down in one of the chairs. “Let’s talk. And let’s start with you not telling me that you were leaving? I think that’s a good start, hm?”
“I-uh...” his mouth opened and closed like a fish but gibberish flew out. She raised an eyebrow, basking in the fact that the usual talkative Pipita was at loss of words.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this! I thought at least me, out of all people, would get a warning but no! I had to find out from your interview no less. Did you not think of me highly enough to at least notify me?!” Words tumbled out of her mouth with no filter.
“I thought everything was fine, Gonzalo. You lied about staying. You promised you wouldn’t go anywhere! This was like out from the left field! I just- I don’t understand- you promised you won’t leave me!”
She knew she sounded whiny, even to her own ears, but she really didn’t want him to go. She willed it with all her heart that he’d laugh and say “Got you!” But all she got was a somber look. Tears pressed against her eyes but she swallowed it back. This was a nightmare coming true.
“I’m sorry.” he finally blurted out, brown eyes looking everywhere but at her.
“Well aren’t we all.” she muttered, picking up a knife to cut apart the crepes he probably bought from the cafe across the street and stabbing the piece firmly before chewing it in her mouth, trying to keep her emotions in check.
He gulped then muttered what seemed to be a small prayer before taking a seat across his distraught girlfriend. “I wanted to tell you. I really did but I didn’t want to distract you from your studies.” She stayed silent and continued eating. “I think that this is the right thing to do.” He finished softly, looking out the window. The harsh clanking of utensils hitting the plate seemed loud to her ears as she processed his words.
“It was clear they didn’t need me here...” He continued on when it seemed like she wasn’t going to say anything. “I didn’t want to warm the bench. I want to be on the pitch playing the game. I want to score goals and help my team win trophies and titles. Not be a sub that can only watch as the manager picks someone over you.” Frustration filled his voice and she stopped to look at him.
Like really looked at him.
Had those bags always hung under his eyes? Did he lose some weight? His cheeks looked gaunter and he seemed to not be as upbeat as he usually was. Had she been not paying attention to him enough to not see these things?
A frown hung on his face and wrinkles appeared on his forehead as he spoke, probably reliving those bad memories. Instantly felt guilt wash over her. She never thought that his relationship with the club was deteriorating like this. He had been there for so long, wearing the badge proudly and defending it with all of his being, and she’d never thought that he’d actually leave. There was a time when he toyed with the idea but they asked him to stay, and stay he did. But now...
“I want to play.” Bitter conviction flowing from his lips. “And if they wouldn’t let me here, there are other clubs wanting me to do so for them. And it would be stupid of me to not take this chance. You understand don’t you?” He turned towards her quickly, his hands grabbing her own in a tight grip. His chocolate eyes that were always shining with happiness and joy now looked so vulnerable that she had to look away from them.
Had she been so selfish that she didn’t catch on to this? She didn’t remember a time when he confided in her about something like this. And was she still so selfish that even after he told her this she didn’t want him to leave?
What a selfish girlfriend, I am.
“I’m sorry that I’m telling you all this now but you were so stressed with school already that I didn’t want to add to that.” He pulled a tight smile on his face. A farce. Oh Gonzalo. She had never wanted to take back her actions or words more than now.
“Gonzalo...”
“I’m really sorry you had to find out like this. But I had decided and...” His head hung low, the words not making it out, and she couldn’t help but to get out of her chair and wrap her arms around him, letting him rest his head on her chest.
“I-”
“Shhh...” She whispered softly as she tightened her grip on him. She couldn’t help the smile as she felt his arms rested around her waist. This felt right. This was how it should be. Them. Together. She paused as if to relish the moment before speaking.
“I’m sorry, Gonzalo.” She murmured against his hair. “I never knew. You should have just told me.”
“But your studies...”
“You’re more important than my studies, silly goose.” She kissed his head affectionately. “We could’ve worked it out together instead of you bottling it up inside. That’s what I’m here for, as your girlfriend and as your friend.” She stopped as a distracting thought occurred to her. “unless... this meant-”
“No.” he pulled his head away to meet her glistening eyes. “We’re in this together.”
She bit her lip before shaking her head when a heartbreaking thought crossed her mind. “If you’re moving away, I have to stay here to finish my studies. I can’t just drop everything and leave Gonzalo.”
“You can finish your school there.”
“And where is ‘there’ exactly?”
He stayed tight-lipped for a moment before opening his mouth, eyes drawing away into space. “I’m not sure yet.”
“Then we won’t know if I can even finish it ‘there’ or if they even take my credits... You know the possibility is there but unconfirmed and it is if I stay here.” She spoke slowly, trying to make him and herself believe that this was the right thing to do. Hell, if he asked her one more time she’d probably drop everything and go without looking back.
Just for him.
He lifted his eyes to meet hers and she had never seen such indecision in them. Gonzalo has always been sure on what he wanted. He never looked back and now he seemed so lost.
He tugged her close once more and rested his head on her chest, his words a bit muffled. “Whatever I do... Just know that I don’t want to lose you. I love you, you know. More than I can ever handle.”
Her heart clutched itself around his words and locked them in a chest, saving them for a rainy day. “And I love you.” She lifted up his head and gave him a soft kiss. “If this is what you want, I’ll support you. Even if I don’t want you to go.” She forced a smile through her teared eyes.
“But-”
She silenced him with a firm kiss. “We’ll work through this. I know we will. We might have different lives but I think our paths had already merged as one, don’t you think?” She entangled her fingers through his hair, a newfound belief in her words.
We could work it out. I believe in us. In him.
And as he brought her head down for a mind blowing kiss, he knew they would too.
aaahhhhh~ guess what?! this is the last chapter of LtF! thank you so much for staying with me and this story. it's been a year (and a couple of days after) since i started this writing blog and i can't thank you enough for sticking with me and my inconsistent updating. i couldn't have finished this story without all your guys' lovely messages and comments. so thank you, thank you, thank you! i really am greatful for each and everyone of you guys that has read this story. so this one is for you all. enjoy~ :D
“…eli. Caeli. Caeli.”
I woke up to a part of my body shaking. I groaned as I tried to figure out where I was; I was too disoriented. I rubbed my lead-felt eyes. My eyelids felt puffy and heavy from all the crying and it was hard to open them. I must had fallen asleep waiting for Mesut to open the door.
“Caeli…”
At the sound of my name, my head snapped up- the voice sounded eerily familiar but I didn’t want to say it because if this was a dream I wouldn’t want to wake up.
He sighed in relief and threw his arm around me as awkward as it might be since I was still wrapped up around my knees. “Oh thank goodness you’re okay. I saw you curled up on the steps and I thought I was dreaming because you were supposed to leave today but yet here you are…” He trailed off when he noticed I wasn’t talking. “Caeli…?”
Tears filled my eyes as I gazed at him. He was here. In front of me. Talking with me. His warm hands burning though my shoulders. Was I still dreaming? I reached up to touch his cheek.
It was warm.
“…Caeli?”
“Mesut…” My voice was hoarse and raspy but he smiled at his name. “Are you really here? Is this another dream?”
One of his hands covered my own on his cheek. “I’m really here.” He smiled softly and his eyes glowed. “And you’re really here.”
My lips parted so I could say all the words I had planned to tell him but they were all stuck in my throat. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. All of my emotions were stirring up a storm within me. His presence was too much and I felt my heart was going to burst.
I love him.
I know now and I felt like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. I mean I knew I loved him before but now that I admitted it, nothing mattered anymore. Nothing- except for Mesut. I opened my mouth so I could tell him all the things I wanted him to know but I can only gape soundlessly- my lips opening and closing like a fish. A flurry of words went through my head; almost all of them started with sorry but even that was trapped in my throat.
“Cae-”
“Hello.” I caught him mid-word and instantly wanted to slap myself. Hello? Out of all the things I could have said, I said “hello”?!
Confusion rested on his face before it gave way to amusement, a small smile on his lips. “Hello.”
“I-”
“You’re here.” He repeated. His eyes were pools of flashing emotions. I could almost see my dazed reflection on them.
“I’m here.” I confirmed his statement, nodding.
“The plane…” He trailed off, his eyes not leaving my face for one second as the rest of his sentence finished silently in my head.
I gulped and shook my head, unable to draw my own eyes away. “Gone.” I bit my lip and tried to convey everything I could from my eyes.
I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have left you. I was wrong. You were the best thing that had ever happened to me and I should’ve realized that sooner but I didn’t. And when I thought I made the right decision, I could never been more wrong. I was selfish and it ruined a perfectly good thing we had. I was too lost in my own reality where everything was messed up and out of place but I’m here now.
My hands dropped down and clasped one of his own in between, hoping he’d understand me without words because nothing right could come out of my mouth right now.
You guided me. You held my hand and showed me the way to get the best out of me. With you everything felt in place and right where they should be. I wasn’t afraid to try anymore. I could have taken the whole world with you by my side.
His free hand rose up to cup my face and I sighed as his thumb ran over my cheek, gently wiping away the tears that unknowingly fell. I gripped his hand tighter.
I’m sorry I took so long to realize all of this. So please don’t leave me when I see that the road is still long. Don’t leave me where you found me. Please stay and walk by my side.
“I guess I got lost after all.” I finally managed to croak out, the emotions producing more tears that were pooling in my eyes.
“You only took a detour.” He smiled and pressed his forehead against mine, leaning close. “And now you have reached your destination.”
My heart burst as his lips finally met mine. Everything instantly faded away and all I could think of was Mesut. Mesut, Mesut, Mesut. He filled up my vision and my very being. It felt good.
It felt perfect.
The kiss intensified; the feelings from the days we couldn’t bear to look at each other or touch each other flooded open. My hands trailed up, burying themselves in his now short hair. I pressed myself close and his arms held me tightly to him, showing no signs of letting go anytime soon.
And I don’t think I wanted him to.
~
“You know…” I fiddled with my fingers as I felt his attention on me. “I never did apologize properly…”
I looked at him from the corner of my eyes and bit my lip when one of his eyes twitched. His fingers drummed on the steering wheel steadily and I held my breath as the silence stretched into after he pulled into the lot.
“Mesut…?” I whispered nervously, hoping I didn’t ruin the good mood. The bottom of my shirt was pretty much wrinkled after I twisted it to and fro from nerves.
He took a breath and his lips parted. “You’re here, aren’t you?”
My forehead creased and I tilted my head slightly as if I didn’t understand his question.
“You’re here, aren’t you?” He reiterated; his eyes boring into mine.
“I-yes.” I nodded, ducking my head from his intense gaze.
His hand reached out and unraveled the wrinkled fabric from their grip while the other tipped my chin up. “Then what more do you need to say?”
“A lot more.” I whispered, pressing my forehead against his. I closed my eyes and drank his presence in. I felt whole and it was a nice feeling.
He kissed my lips once, twice, three times. “You actions said a lot already, Caeli. I already know you are because if you weren’t you would be on the other side of the world right now and Sergio would have put a boot up my ass.”
That image sent a smile up my face and he chuckled, tapping my nose playfully. “That’s what I like to see. Now come on. They’re waiting for us. We’re late for practice and I don’t want to run anymore laps, thank you.”
“You mean you’re late to practice. I am on time.” I teased, taking my time getting my things out of the car.
He laughed and shook his head before taking my hand and pulling me behind him as he jogged to practice.
Before we entered the building, I tugged his hand back. “Mes…”
“Yea?”
“Thank you.” I breathed, giving him the most sincere smile I had ever produced in my life. Taking my hands from him, I wrapped them around his neck and stood on my tip-toe to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “Ich liebe dich.”
His grin lit up the room and I couldn’t help the smile that has taken over my face as his arms wrapped around me tightly. “You don’t know how happy I am with you here and hearing those words right here.” He whispered. “Not a thousand miles away.”
“How happy?” I muttered, closing my eyes as our forehead touched.
He hummed, searching for the right words. “Happy enough to skip practice and bear the consequences to spend a day with you?”
I giggled and kissed him swiftly before tugging him towards the pitch, where the others were probably wondering where he was. “No skipping. Or they’ll fly me back and I don’t think we both want that.”
“Wait-” We skidded to a halt before the pitch, the door leading to the building closing behind us with a dull thud.
“What-?”
I melted in his arms as his familiar lips moved over mine. Pressing myself close, we moved until his back hit the wall, our lips never parting from the dance we both knew after months of practice. His tongue tangled with mine ever so gently and I forgot that we were in public, the canopy of the wall’s shadow the only thing that covered us. I sighed in content as he trailed kisses down my jaw, ending his journey with a nuzzle to my neck.
His brown eyes were hypnotic as was his voice when it caressed my ears, saying the words I had been waiting to hear ever since I came back.
“I love you.”
And everything was absolutely perfect again.
~
Apparently, Mr. Caraño knew I wasn’t going to leave because no one, except for a selected few, knew I was even gone. They thought I was too sick to work and stayed at home the past couple of days. Everything was the way it should be and I had never felt freer in my life.
“Slow down, Mesut, the house isn’t going to go anywhere.” I laughed at him pulling my hand towards our home. Our home- I liked those words. It was my birthday today and we had a nice dinner before taking a walk around the neighborhood. Now all he really wanted was to go home quickly.
A couple of weeks had passed after my little decision to stay and I hadn’t regretted it even once and I mentally sighed in relief every time I thought about it because who knew what I would have done now if I had left. I eyed my boyfriend and smiled, gripping his hand tighter, feeling so lucky he had found me.
“What?”
I blinked at him in confusion. “What what?”
“You were looking at me pretty intensely there. I know I’m good looking but please…” He laughed as I slapped his arm playfully.
“Whatever. Don’t get a big head. I’ve seen better.” I stuck my tongue out as he pouted.
“Me too.” He muttered with a sigh.
“Awww.” I reached up and pecked him on the cheek. “Don’t worry. You’re always the best for me.”
“I better be.” He warned, eyes twinkling dangerously before smiling and kissing me right on the lips.
I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss, not caring who saw us even though we finally reached our doorstep so no one probably did. It felt like electricity was flowing through my veins as our mouths danced together. I felt hot when one of his hands supported my back and the other cupped my neck so the angle was better- the kiss deeper and more passionate. My hands were all over him- his hair, his shoulder, his back. I wanted to map all of him and embossed him into my memory. I was drunk off of him- his touch, his scent, his presence was all I needed.
I broke away and winked, taking my keys out. “Let’s continue it inside okay?” Turning the key, I opened the door and tugged Mesut into the dark house, ready to continue where we left off.
“SURPRISE!!!”
“Puta madre!” My heart flew to my mouth and I jumped back, bumping into Mesut in the process as all of my friends jumped out. “Jesus Christ save my soul. Must you guys do this?!” I gasped in Mesut’s arms as laughter and cheers erupted.
“You!” I pointed at my grinning boyfriend before sighing. “I hate you.” Then I turned around and pointed to all of the people in the house. “I hate you all too! Now get out!”
I was surrounded in silence as they all looked at me wide-eyed. I couldn’t keep my composure and grinned, shrugging my shoulders. “Just kidding! So where’s the drinks at?”
Claps and whoops were heard and I laughed alongside them as I joined the party. This was where I belonged, all the people I loved were here and I needed nothing else. Their laughter filled me up with joy along with the warm hard that was clasp in mine.
“Are you okay, Caeli?” He asked, lips brushing against my ear, since I stayed quiet after all the birthday wishes that were said. I looked at the handsome German in front of me and smiled.
I wasn’t lost anymore. Mesut came out of the dark and guided me back to the right path. He helped me found myself and in the process, I found a place to call home with the one I loved most.
I nodded and tightened the grip I had on his hand, eyes glistening with emotions. “Never better.”
i'm alliiivvee~! omg how absent have i been lately? sorry guys. but here's a short chapter i'll get out real quick. it's about to end~! one more then an epilogue maybe...? enjoy~ :)
“Goodbye sweet apartment.” I sighed, standing near the door with my bags at the bottom of my feet. Everything was cleaned and spotless. I made sure to not leave anything behind and stepped out into the Madrid sun.
Last night was hectic. After Mesut left, I stayed sitting at the same spot for about an hour before deciding to make my way back, taking the long way and getting rained on in the process, similar to what happened in Germany.
Except this time, no one was looking for me.
When I arrived at my apartment I half-hoped he would be waiting for me but then I shook that thought away. He waited for me long enough. I was just too stupid to realize that. But that still didn’t stop my heart from dropping when I saw no one was waiting at the door.
“Thanks, Mr. Caraño.” I forced a smile when he opened the car door for me.
“Thank you, Caeli.” His eyes crinkled with the sad smile he wore on his face. “You’ve done well with this internship and I do hope you’ll come back.”
I hummed and gave him a small nod, we both know I probably won’t. I was too embarrassed and it was a little too late for that.
“You got everything you need?”
I double checked my passport, boarding pass, and everything else, nodding to Mr. Caraño with a heavy heart, knowing what I really needed wasn’t here. Tears gathered in my eyes as things finally hit me.
I was leaving.
For good.
And no one knew, except for Mr. Caraño, Veena, maybe Sergio and him.
There won’t be any goodbyes when three of the four were much too angry to be with me. Maybe that was for the best.
“I’m gonna miss you so much, Mr. Caraño. Thank you for everything. Really.” I wrapped my arms around his figure, trying to keep my watering eyes at bay.
“And I’m gonna miss you niña.” He placed a kiss at the top of my head. “Are you sure about this?”
I exhaled and shook my head. “Isn’t it a little too late to ask me that? I’m leaving in an hour.”
“It’s never too late for anything.” He raised an eyebrow with probably some sort of hidden meaning behind it that I never quite got.
“It is now.” I said firmly, tightening my hold on the handle of my rolling bag. “Come visit whenever you can.” I forced a smile.
“Caeli!”
The sound of my name was the only warning I had to prepare myself before a force barreled into me.
“Veena?” I gasped from shock as I tried to get my bearings together from her bone-crushing hug. “What’re you doing here?” I asked aghast, not believing my best friend was standing in front of me. My heart tightened when she held me close before backing up and arm’s length, her hands gripping my shoulder tightly.
“Like I was going to miss helping you take back your stuff.” She snorted, prying the carry on from my fingers.
“Uh… what?”
“You’re not leaving.” A familiar voice piped up.
I stared past Veena and exhaled a puff of air, confusion running through my mind. “Sergio…”
“I-” I blinked at them both in a daze. “What?”
“You belong here, Caeli.” Veena said gently, her hand tugging me away from the gate.
Sergio came closer and rubbed my head affectionately. “I’m really sorry about the whole thing, but I really don’t want you to go. I was trying to take things into my own hands when it wouldn’t even fit so let’s just go home now eh? I’ll treat you to dinner later.” A hopeful smile spread across his face and his arms lingered across my shoulder.
I bit my lip as a torrent of emotions flowed through me. I wanted to leave. I wanted to stay. Everything was jumbled and I didn’t know what to do. I was at a crossroad- one path was unfamiliar, dark, and I couldn’t see past my feet and hands without a guide. The other was familiar and worn out from being trodden upon so many times, hills were seen from the distance but it was safe and I knew the path like the back of my hand.
Was I even going the right direction? Was I, as much as I hate to say it, lost?
“You don’t need to go, Caeli. Stay. We need you here. Who’s going to remind me about not leaving the supplies or tell Sergio to go change because the outfit he’s wearing is horrendous?”
“Hey!”
I shook my head. “But what about him?”
“What about him?” My best friend rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. “You love him. He loves you. What’s the problem?”
“Veena-”
“No! This has gone far enough! You are both idiots okay? You saw something that was ridiculous and got mad. Okay, that’s fine. I would be angry too and he was stupid to let that happen. But when you two talked and he told you the truth, you didn’t believe him. Again, stupid. He worked hard to fix it and you didn’t listen. Extra stupid. Then he just gives up because despite all the work that he did you would not give him a chance to do anything because you are too hard-headed to listen. Extra mega stupid.”
“Now you finally figured it all out but think it’s too late for anything and instead of trying to win him back you’re here all moping about something that you could have fixed but didn’t. Extra mega stupid times infinity.”
I lowered my eyes to the ground as Veena’s words ripped through me like a hurricane.
“So Caeli…” I could feel her stare, daring me to go against her, which I really couldn’t because everything she said was on point. “Is that your problem?”
“Veena.” I heard Sergio’s scolding voice.
“No. She needs to know. She has to fix this herself because we can’t do it.” I could hear the frustration in her voice and in that moment, I really was grateful to have her as a friend. She was always so honest.
This internship- coming here- was one of the best decisions I had ever made in my life. I knew that once I was home, I still wouldn’t forget my experiences here. I could try to move on and do everything the same but to me it wouldn’t be…
Because I changed. So what do I do now?
“Caeli…?”
Mr. Caraño’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “If you want to leave you should go now so you won’t be late.”
My eyebrows furrowed at his choice of words. “If I want to leave?”
He ignored my question and went on. “I have some business matters to attend to so I’ll be leaving first. Good luck, Caeli. Don’t get lost.” Mr. Caraño nodded with a hint of a smile and with a wave of his hand, he was walking away.
“I never get lost.” I replied under my breath as the puzzle pieces fitted into place.
I was right. I never got lost. I had a map. And I was going to use it.
“Caeli! Where are you going?” I heard Veena’s voice getting smaller as my legs pumped up and down.
I’m getting unlost, Veena.
~
I steadied my breathing and tried to calm myself down. This was the right choice, right? Yes. No going back now. It was definitely way too late for that. I swallowed, trying to ignore the erratic pounding of my heart, and raised a hand up to knock on the wooden door. I waited a minute with no answer and I felt my heart crumbled a bit. I eyed the doorbell and decided to try my luck on that. Or lack thereof as a minute passed with no answer.
“Mesut?” I called, pounding the door with my fist once more. “If you’re in there please listen to me.” I stepped back to see the house as a whole and frowned when I saw no movements.
“Mesut! Please open the door. Can we talk?” My poundings became frantic. I switched to knocking and ringing the doorbell if he was annoyed he has to come out right? I had to make him listen to me. I couldn’t go back now. My plane would have taken off already and there was no way I can go back to the apartment when the lease was up and I had no key. “Mesut! Mesut! Mesut!”
“Mesut Özil! Eröffnen!” I leaned my forehead against the no budging door; my heart crumbling the rest of its pieces away. He hates me. We really were over. And there was nothing I could do to fix it. The map was wrong- I took the wrong path and finished at a dead end.
I turned around and slid down to the floor, leaning against the side wall. I gathered my legs close to me and rested my head upon them. My eyes burned with unshed tears and I let them fall. That’s it. Done. Over. Terminado. Fertig.
I should probably go home. But now I wasn’t sure where home was…
I was totally and utterly lost and this time I had no map.
Hello I just wanted to say that I love your story about mesut ozil, but I missed a chapter & I want to read but I can't find it on your blog can you post a link so I can find the chapters & maybe read other fanfics?! :) xx
thank you! here are the chapters for LtF. and are you talking about other fanfics? i have links on the left side of the blog for other things such as other stories and one-shots. hope that helps. :)
Ahhh Caeli keeps ruining everything!!! Poor Mesut, it breaks my heart... hopefully they end up together and be all cute playing football together. I can't believe it's already ending.. can't wait to read the finale!!! x :)
ahhh~thank you so much for taking the time and reading them all. haha. and i know right! what is she thinking? smh. but don't worry i think you'll like the ending... maybe. lol. i hope so at least~ and i'll try to have it ready soon. :D
hello hello~ i'm back with another chapter. this is probably second/third to last chapter not sure yet. lol. but it's almost finished! yay! i want to thank you guys for sticking with me for this long even tho i suck at updating. so here's to you guys~ tell me your thoughts yea? :)
Ding, Dong! Ding, Dong!
“What in the blazes?” I mumbled groggily as I stuffed a pillow over my ears, trying to drown the sound out.
Ding, Dong! Ding, Dong!
“Dammit.” I cursed, finally getting up to open the door. “What do you want- Veena? What the hell? Do you know what time it is?”
“Yea. It’s eleven.” She pushed past me and sat herself down on the couch, but not before shoving all the paperwork to the floor.
“Uh… Make yourself at home.” I rolled my eyes as I closed the door. I crossed my arms and gave her a not too fond of a look. “Thanks for waking the whole floor with your doorbell ringing.”
“It’s almost noon! I’m doing you a favor anyways.” She raised her eyebrow before getting up and taking my wrist, leading me to my room. She stopped when she saw how empty everything was. “Oh… Well I guess you are leaving then…”
“Veena, don’t start. It’s too early to talk about this.” I groaned, taking my hand back so I can jump back on the bed, snuggling under the covers. “Let me sleep some more and we can talk later.”
“Oh no you are not!” She forcefully swiped the blanket off of me. “Since you’re leaving tomorrow we have to spend the day together!”
“Veena… please. I’m tired and I just want to sleep. If you want you can sleep with me too and we’ll be spending the day sleeping together.” My voice was muffled as I laid face down on the bed.
“No. We are going out so get your ass in the shower and I’ll have an outfit picked for you.”
“Veena-”
“Don’t Veena me or I’ll bathe you on the bed.”
I groaned but reluctantly made my way to the bathroom. It didn’t seem like a good idea to cross an angry pregnant woman so I did as she wished, already dreading the day ahead of us.
~
“Well thanks for talking to me like a real person again.” I said nonchalantly in the middle of our lunch.
“Hmmm?” She stared up from her pasta and wiped her lips daintily with a napkin. Must she always be more lady-like than I am? “It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, Caeli… It’s just that you frustrate me at times.”
I raised an eyebrow and she sighed, rolling her eyes.
“Things had been rocky for you and yes I can see why you would be upset but after that Dortmund trip, you weren’t the same.” She eyed me carefully to gauge my reaction but I said nothing and kept eating my steak. “Have you seen yourself lately? You’re like a robot! Actually you and Mesut are. Both of you. It’s sickening!”
“Veena… Can’t we just have a nice conversation without mentioning him? It’s like everywhere I go, someone always have to say something about him.” I shook my head and placed my utensils down. “It’s done. We’re done. Move on already. I have.”
“That is a lie.”
“Ugh… can we not-”
“I looked at your phone.” She pointed out. “If you already ‘moved on’ why is your background a picture of you guys together?”
I froze as my fingers were wrapped around my drink. “I- I just haven’t had time to change it. I-”
No. Please don’t. I’m moving on. I am.
“Stop that. Stop trying to push everything you want away. He’s a person not a sport!”
“I’m not!” I shouted, banging my hands on the table. I could feel the hushed whispers of the people around us, Their judging stares weighing me down.
“I’m sorry. I have to go.” I stood up quickly and steadied the shaking table from the force of my movements.
“Caeli! Wait- Stop!”
I hardly heard her call as I flew out of the restaurant. I reminded myself that I had to pay her back for the steak but right now I have to go- somewhere, anywhere but here. Everything was so messed up. It was fine. I had everything under control. But of course something always had to happen.
I weaved through the crowds with blurred vision until I had to stop- chest heaving and legs burning. A park- our park. Why does everything seem to point to him? Was it fate?
I sighed and sat on a bench overlooking a field. A small group of kids were playing football on one side, happily kicking the ball; their laughter carried away by the wind. Must be nice to not have a care in the world.
I didn’t know how long I sat on the bench, seeing everything but nothing. Memories flashed before my eyes- his smiles, his laughter, or the way small wrinkles appeared under his eyes when he smiled. My hand twitched as I pictured his hair- it was shorter now, probably courtesy of Sergio Ramos, and he looked more handsome than ever. Was it because they said when people break up, they usually change something and that something was their hair? Or maybe Sergio gave him a makeover thinking it would make me realize what I was missing?
I shook the thoughts away. I must be going crazy. It wasn’t like I didn’t miss him enough already. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and pressed a button, lighting it up, showing the wallpaper.
Where did the happy times fly away to?
A smiling Mesut greeted me as I kissed his cheek. God I miss him. Maybe this was the last piece of the puzzle. If I deleted this picture then maybe my feelings would be gone. For good. And everything would be right as-
“Rain.” I sighed as the cloudy sky trickled down. “Of course. Might as well make it pour harder, why don’t you?” I called out, sighing as people ran away to take cover. “Thanks for hearing my prayers.” I pressed my lips, nodding to myself as rain thundered down even faster and harder.
Leaning my head back, I let the rain crashed against my body, making my clothes stick to me like a second skin, and in milliseconds I was drenched. Slowly I peeled back the cemented wall I placed on my memories. Technically this was the last day I would be here and it was only right to just leave all of the memories here. I don’t think I would be back anytime soon.
Sometimes I wished I was a computer, where with just a click of a button, anything can be erased for good. But no. I was a human- someone with feelings and thoughts and a heart that can be easily broken. I ignored another call from Veena before I decided a walk home will be nice. It was getting chilly.
I limped up to my apartment, the tingling in my legs getting stronger. I was too distracted digging into my wet pockets for my keys and didn’t realize someone was in front of my apartment door. I shivered as cold wind blew through, wishing for a hot bath right now for my aching legs and heart.
“Caeli…”
My head snapped up when I heard the all too familiar voice that I wanted to forget. I squinted my eyes against the light to make sure it was really him or I was just hallucinating. The dark form huddled in front of my door stood up and took a step into the light.
He took a small step forward and I took the same backwards.
Nope.
His hand reached out. “Caeli, please…”
One more step my way and I was out like a cheetah. My breaths came out in short gasps as I tried to widen our distance. My leg cried out in protest but I threw it to the back of my mind. I couldn’t face him now. I was leaving tomorrow and to see him now would be for naught.
“Caeli! Wait!”
My heart skipped a beat when he called my name. Always with the name. Always with the voice.
Adrenaline course through me and I tried to push myself even faster. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears.
Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.
His footsteps thudded closer and I cursed myself for trying to outrun someone who basically runs for a living. I could already feel my wall crumbling-
“Caeli!’
A hand tugged me back and I stumbled, the force sending my back into his arms. His scent enveloped me instantly and his arms held me close. I squeezed my eyes shut, reveling in the moment. And I would have succumbed to everything had a shooting pain not coursed through my legs.
My eyes flew open and I struggled, trying to swim out of the memories. Because that’s all they really are.
“Let me go.”
I cleared my throat and repeated the phrase once more since the first one sounded weak, even to my ears.
“No. We need to talk and I intend to have you listen.” His voice was urgent and stern- so different than his usual deep drawl.
“We’re done talking, Mesut.” I countered, still wriggling in his arms. “If you didn’t know, I’m leaving.”
His grip loosed and I jerked out of his hold. “So it’s true?” He asked quietly, his eyes trained to the ground.
“Yes. I’m leaving tomorrow so I’ll be out of your life. No need to worry about explaining things to me anymore.” I scoffed.
“You can’t leave!”
“I can and I will. I’m done here. I did my job. My internship is over and there is nothing here that I want to stay for.”
“But… what about us?”
“What about us, Mesut?” I spat out. “There is no us. You messed that up a long time ago.”
“I did not!” He shouted indignantly and stepped closer towards me. I held my ground and tilted my chin up to show that I wasn’t intimidated. “If anything the one that messed up what we had was you.”
My mouth dropped open and anger surged through me. “Excuse me?! Last time I checked I wasn’t the one that had someone in my room with their hands in my pants! And that someone turned out to be an ex!”
I was livid. How dare he? How dare he said it was me that messed it up.
Guilt was seen in his eyes but it gave way to frustration. His hands regripped my arms and I placed my closed fists on his chest, intending to push him off.
“She threw herself on me!” He practically shouted. His face was scrunched up in frustration.
I rolled my eyes. “Please don’t make excuses, Mesut.”
“She came to my room, Caeli. I was about to leave to catch up with you but she came up wanting to talk. I told her it was over.” My face probably showed disbelief because he repeated the words. “Over, Caeli. I made my choice and that choice was you. Why would I ruin something that I had just fixed?”
I bit my lip, still not fully believing it. Would she really throw herself on him? Was she that kind of woman?
“I guess she didn’t take the words too kindly. I tried to get her out but she wouldn’t. Believe me, Caeli. I would never hurt you intentionally. I may make mistakes but I would never ever in my life want to harm you in any way.” His grip tightened and he was almost close to begging. I wanted him to stop. I didn’t like seeing him like this...
But it all seemed so far-fetched. I don’t know anymore. A part of me wanted to believe him and another part was confused. He was a footballer- who was to say that he couldn’t get any girl he wanted and I was just someone on the side.
“Caeli… Please.”
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t know Mesut.”
“So that’s it?” His hands slowly slipped off and I looked at him through my bangs. “You’d rather leave everything like this? After all we’ve been through you’d rather run away and not believe a thing I say?”
“Mesut, I-”
He scoffed and shook his head, raising his hands up in surrender and gave me space. “Nevermind. It seems like I’m the only one that wants this to work.”
“Mesut-”
“No. Don’t say another word. I get it and you know what? Fine. Just run away from everything like you always do.”
Push a knife into my heart and twist it why don’t you?
“I-”
“I thought we could make this work you know. I was dead set on loving you even if you were to leave after this internship. I would have waited and waited and waited. Just for you.”
My chest hurt. My vision was blurry. I was paralyzed.
“I thought I would never want to gamble in love again but you were like a curveball. You came out of nowhere and you stuck. I couldn’t get you out of my mind. You were everywhere and I love it. I love you.”
His voice broke and so did my heart.
“But I guess this is a one way road... And you’re not walking the right direction. Even though you have the map.”
The space between us got bigger and I wanted to reach out to him. I wanted to tell him to stop. To not go. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. His words were suffocating me. It was too much. He was too much. Was I so blinded by my own truth that I didn’t realize it was a lie?
“I won’t bother you anymore.” His voice was further away. It was cold. He was cold. “Goodbye, Caeli.”
My legs gave way at his words. I crashed into the ground with a small splash. I was cold. The rain was cold. And it kept pouring- drenching my sorrows.
He was right.
He was always right.
I messed it up. This was my fault. I never listened. I was so caught up in thinking he was like the others to notice that he wasn’t... at all. He was better. Always have. Always been. He was more than I could have even asked for. And here I was paying for my mistakes.
sorry darling~ i don't think i'll be updating turning point soon. i'm trying to finish lost then found then i'll be right back to turning point. i'm so sorry for making you wait a long while for a new chapter. a;sfjalsdkfj. forgive me? :(((
woot woot~ another chapter comin'. it's shorter than the rest but it's ending soon sooo... haha.
i hope you like and tell me your thoughts, yea? :)
“Are you sure about this, Caeli?”
I swallowed and nodded, forcing a smile. “Yes.”
He sighed and took off his glasses. “You can still change if you want to since you gave it to me this early…”
“No change will be needed, sir.”
“Alright. But just in case. For now I guess I’ll put this with all the paperwork I need to get done.” He eyed me behind his folded hands.
“Thank you, Mr. Caraño.” I nodded once more and turned to leave.
“Caeli, wait…”
“Yes?”
“If you need anything, I’m here.”
I laughed softly and smiled. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”
With the door clicked shut, I leaned back, my head hitting the wood with a small thud.
Am I making the right decision?
~
It’s been a couple of weeks after the Dortmund match and I was still avoiding Mesut. It became a habit now. Every time I would come to work, I wouldn’t make eye contact or any indication that he was there. I basically erased his existence to me, or well more like locked him up in the back of my mind, and I went to work as usual. I threw myself in every single work I could delve in, leaving me with less free time. And less free time means less thinking. And less thinking means less Mesut.
“Uh… Caeli?”
I looked up to see Veena poking her head in the door. “Yes?”
“I think Sergio left you again.”
I sighed and closed my eyes before nodding slowly. “It’s fine. Thanks for telling me.” My eyes went back to the computer monitor. “Won’t be the first time he did it.” I muttered softly.
A groan was heard and Veena plopped herself on the empty seat next to me. “Can you guys just stop?”
I blinked at her sudden question. “What?”
“This whole silent treatment thing!” She huffed, propping her head up with her hands.
“I don’t-”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Caeli.” She scolded, wagging her finger at me like a mother would to a child. “You wouldn’t tell me anything at all and I had to force it out of Sergio with the promise of a free meal, which thankfully he did although a bit unwillingly, and Mesut won’t even talk to me! He would just look at everything with a dejected look on his face and it looks like he has given up on everything. I mean, have you seen his playing lately?! Horrible! I’m surprised Jose hasn’t snapped some sense into him! And am I not your best friend or what?!”
I stared at her blankly after she finished her rant. “You’re pregnant.” I blurted out.
“Yes I am but what does that have to do with anything?!” She threw her hands up in frustration before taking a deep breath to calm down. I raised an eyebrow at her.
“Look. My hormones might be off kilter but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell me things.” She sighed, unknowingly rubbing her growing belly. “You can’t keep everything to yourself y’know. So you think he cheated-”
“I know.” I cut in, eyes not seeing the monitor anymore. I couldn’t work with all this racket near me. “I know he cheated.”
She rolled her eyes and wheeled me to face her. “You think he cheated.” My eyes twitched but I’d rather not argue with a pregnant lady right now, especially when she looks like she could punch a whole through the wall. “Hear him out please, Caeli. Everyone is telling you to, I know, and maybe you should listen to them instead of being this hard-headed asshole that doesn’t tell anyone anything and will probably leave in two weeks.”
I swallowed but didn’t say anything.
“Oh my God. You are leaving aren’t you?” She gasped, finally realizing my decision. I jumped when her hands gripped my arms tightly. “You can’t leave. That’s not right. You said you wanted to stay another six months and now you’re leaving because of this?!”
I bit my lips and turned away, readying myself for her onslaught. For a pregnant lady, her grip was pretty strong.
“Caeli… I thought you liked it here… with us…” I blinked in surprised when she wasn’t shouting but instead looking like she was about to cry.
“Veena, please don’t.” I begged. I couldn’t stand it when anyone cries. Damn her pregnancy hormones. I swear how David stands this, I would never know.
“I just don’t understand. If you were just to talk to him and work things out then everything would be fine.” She pressed, taking back her hands and folding them on her lap.
“It’s not that easy.” I tried to explain. I was tired of having this conversation with everyone.
“Yes, it is. It’s quite simple. But you are making it hard.” She huffed and stood up, making her way out the door. Before opening the door, she turned one last time, her next words left echoing in my ear. “And the funny thing is that the person you’re making it hardest for is yourself.”
The door clicked shut and I could only stare, not sure if I want to throw my chair at it or go curl up in a corner and cry.
Or maybe a bit of both.
~
Sergio looked up from the television as I hauled my luggage down the stairs. I could feel his stare watching my form struggle with the heavy suitcase but didn’t say a word until I was at the door, finally realizing what I was doing.
“Where are you going?”
I calmly looked at him and smiled, hopefully it didn’t look like a grimace. “Thank you for letting me stay but I’ll be going back to my own place now.”
“Your own place?” He was alert now, almost getting up from the plush couch, tethering on the edge of the seat.
“Yea. The one where I stayed last time.” I nodded, my hand reaching for the door handle.
“What’s wrong with my house?” He frowned, his forehead crinkling with confusion.
“Nothing. Your house is great, Sergio. But I don’t want to be a bother anymore so I’m leaving.” I shrugged. And also because we haven’t had a nice conversation in a long time and it’s like there’s a freaking wall between us so yea.
“You’re not a bother.” He finally stood up and strode towards me.
I shook my head. “That’s a lie.” He cocked an eyebrow and I rolled my eyes, not wanting to play anymore games. “We haven’t had a normal conversation, Sergio. You’ve left me at Valdebebas for the past few weeks and I had to take a taxi home. When I see you, you wouldn’t even speak more than a sentence or two before going. Heck, this was the longest we’ve spoken in ages. So cut the bullcrap okay?”
Something in his eyes changed and he sighed, running his hands through his hair. “Mesut was supposed to take you home.” He said it so quietly I almost missed it.
My brows furrowed and I leaned forward, not believing what he was saying. “What?”
“He was supposed to take you home, Caeli. Didn’t you notice that he was there later than I was every single time? Outside your office?”
My eyes twitched as I processed this information, recalling every time I left my office there he was leaning on the wall with his bags but I thought nothing of it and left the other way. Well damn. “So you left me so Mesut will take me home…” He nodded and I shook my head in annoyance. “Haven’t you noticed that I haven’t spoken to him?”
“That’s why I wanted you to go home with him…” He rubbed the back of his neck guiltily. “I guess that didn’t work out too well…”
“No duh!” I threw my hands up in frustration. “Whatever. I’m leaving so you can go back to your bachelor ways now.” I pulled the door open, ready to leave the place I called home for the past month and a half.
I was tired of it. Tired of hearing them telling me that I should go talk to Mesut. Tired of everything. I wanted to go home. Home home. I had no worries then. I just focused on school and my internship. No Real Madrid. No Mesut. Those were the better days… right?
I jerked back when Sergio gripped my arm. “Hey-What-?”
His eyes were intense as he stare me down. “Don’t go. Just stay. I won’t leave you with Mesut anymore if that’s what you want.”
“No, Sergio. It’s alright. I already go the apartment settled again.” I mumbled, turning my head away. “It’s better for me to leave anyways.”
His warm hand left my arm cold when he pulled it away. His eyes looked over my face as if looking for something and I took a step back.
“So that’s it? You’re leaving for good?”
My heart jumped a little when I felt there was a double meaning in that question. I searched his expression to see if he knew I wasn’t going to stay but his face stayed still like a statue and a bit cold like the marble that shaped it.
I gripped the handle of my luggage tighter and stepped outside.
“Bye, Sergio.”
I placed everything in the trunk of the taxi and looked at the still house. The door didn’t open again once I closed it shut and everything was silent.
~
Time passed quickly when it seemed like everyone was mad at you. But there was nothing to say and nothing to listen to. I was tired and done with my chapter in Madrid. It was time to move on. The good memories were too far to reach now. And Mesut…? I think he was tired of trying to talk to a wall too.
Two more days, Caeli.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror and couldn’t hide the flinch. “My God. I look like a train wreck.”
No amount of makeup can hide the shadows and bags under my eyes. I slowly put on my clothes of the day and grimaced at the sight of empty bottle of wines and liquor on the table. I swear I’m not an alcoholic. I chanted as I cleaned up the mess. I had to leave the apartment spotless before I leave, of course. And it won’t do if they found empty bottles of alcohol everywhere.
Grabbing a light jacket from the top of my luggage, I made sure I looked a bit better than a train wreck then left the place. I didn’t even bother unpacking once I left Sergio’s house. I had only two weeks left (well now there’s only two days) and I was going to leave anyways. There was no need for unpacking because there was no need to stay. And since my luggage was all ready to go, the last question that needed to be answered was:
Am I ready?
~
“Hello Valdebebas.” I mused as I stood at the place when I first came- on the edge of the chalked line.
The coffee in my hand was long gone as I stood still, pulling out all the memories I had of this place to bury it in the surroundings. The grass was green as always and the air was crisp. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining brightly as ever. It was such a beautiful day for a sad goodbye.
“I knew you’d be here.”
I smiled slightly at the similar words spoken by my mentor. “I always seem to be don’t you think?” I tilted my head at him when he stood by me.
“I’m glad you took this internship, Caeli.” I looked at him sideways but his eyes were out to the pitch. “You have a bright future if you kept on doing what you’re doing. I just hoped that this parting wouldn’t be so full of unanswered questions and regrets.”
I sighed and took a step back. The air was different now- suffocating. “It was nice learning from you, sir.”
“Remember who taught you how to love again, Caeli.” I stopped when I heard him as I made my way down the tunnel. “Lost in the sea of indecisions and past memories. Remember who found you.”
I looked up towards the pitch. It was bright- too bright. The sunlight shined down the dark tunnel and it was as if I was stuck between two paths. And if I kept going further down the path I chose now the light would seem so far away; I would have no guidance. I’d be… lost.
I shook my head to clear the thoughts away. That was then this was now. Times had changed and passed. That chapter was closed already and it has ended in sadness and heartaches.
i thought that chapter was so so good! i seriously loved it, don't worry! im just so frustrated at caeli because she wont even hear mesut out ugh this is one of the best stories ive ever read!
sdf;kfdj;lkajsdflkjasd;fj. you're too sweet anon pls. let me love you~ xoxoxo
okay i wasn't gonna post this today since i just finished last night and i like to have a couple of days to look over it for mistakes and all that but oh well i think it's time i updated. LOL.
and tbh this chapter is so gross and i wanna redo it but as i said it's been a while since i updated so it's whatever. haha. only a couple of chapters left after this now~
tell me your thoughts yea?
I zipped the medical bag closed and sighed as I watched the guys lined up. I jumped as I felt something on my shoulder and gave a smile when I saw it was only Sergio looking like he was about to scold a kid. He opened his mouth but I cut him off.
“I know.” He gave me a look and I shrugged. “I was at a friend’s place.” He raised an eyebrow and I bent down to grab the bag by the straps. “Don’t worry about it. I’m here. I’m okay. Just focus on the game.”
I saw Mesut at the corner of my eye and was surprised when he walked by with eyes straight ahead, not even a glance my way. Not that it mattered to me but it made my heart itch a little. His face was cold and calculating. It was similar to his game face but something was off; something was different.
The anthem started and Sergio gave me the eye before hurrying away with a silent lecture on the tip of his tongue. I looked toward the Dortmunders, eyes passing over their faces and nodding to those that recognized me. I frowned when I couldn’t find who I was looking for.
“Is he late?” I mumbled, patting my pocket for my phone.
I noticed a black and yellow blur coming out of the locker room and inched my way towards him as he took his place at the back.
“Just in time I see.” I teased as I nudged him with my elbow.
“Who’s fault is that?” He pouted, but something felt off. His eyes were clouded. Then it was gone and the crooked smile replaced it.
“Not mine.” I replied, eyeing his expression closely.
A roll of his eyes was his answer then a smirk grew as he looked me over. “White doesn’t suit you.”
“At least I don’t look like a bee.” I retorted before brushing invisible dust off my shoulder. “And white makes me look good, thank you very much. You’re just jealous that our kit doesn’t make us look like a bug.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t rain.” He raised an eyebrow cheekily.
“Shut up.” I slapped his arm, willing my cheeks to not be red.
He laughed and ruffled my hair before readying himself to follow his teammates out of the tunnel.
I shook the weird feeling off and turned back to my team. My breath hitched as I saw Mesut looking at us and with a press of his lips, he turned away, his shoulder squared stiffly. I frowned at his action but thought nothing of it and went to stand in line. This was going to be a long match.
~
“This is the stupidest game ever.” I muttered through clenched teeth as it was another close call for the whites as Diego Lopez cleared the ball from an attacking Lewandowski. The game was tied 1-1 and time was ticking down in the second half.
I held my breath as we started on the counter attack- Lukas to Xabi who proceeded to do one of his famous long pass all the way to Mesut who was on the right wing. One touch and he was off, trying to shake the defender off and go inside the box at the same time. Once he was close enough, a cross was the product and ended as a header from Cristiano. I groaned as the goalkeeper was able to save it. Something had to end this stalemate.
I watched as the ball passed through the Dortmund’s backline, moving back and forth until it landed at Marco’s feet. I had to admit, he was pretty lethal player- quick and agile. I bit my lip as he outran Xabi, leaving the older man in the dust as the ball rolled nearer to the goal.
Then it happened.
I stood up as Mesut crashed into Marco in an unclean tackle. I could only stare with wide eyes as Marco rolled on the floor, holding his leg. The Turkish-German mouthed some words to the fallen bee before turning his back to him, mouth moving rapidly. What was that about?
The referee strode quickly to Mesut, reaching into his pocket. I prayed it was only a yellow and breathed a sigh of relief as it was. Focusing my attention back to Marco, I almost ran to the field had I not seen their medics jogging his way. I frowned and crossed my arm across my chest. Took them long enough. I would have been already there once that tackle happened.
I looked at the big screen as they sprayed his leg a bit before carrying him off to the field so they wouldn’t waste anymore time. I caught Mesut’s eyes and shook my head before letting my eyes wander to Marco’s form on the sideline, waiting to be waved back in. I could feel his gaze burning unto me but I didn’t pay him any attention. What he did was stupid and he could have had Raphael handled him but he didn’t. And now his yellow cards were mounting. Idiot.
“Gonna just stand there, Caeli?”
I turned to see Gonzalo raising an eyebrow and sighed, plopping my butt next to his plump ones. “Idiots. Footballers are just idiots.”
“Hey! That’s not true.”
I shook my head, disagreeing with him but said nothing more as I let myself be carried away by the stupid game I love.
~
The dressing room was somber and I didn’t stay as the guys finished cleaning up in the showers. The game ended 2-1 inDortmund’s favor and it didn’t sit well with the manager (or me). We had a plane to catch soon and I needed to see how my little meerkat was doing so I had a small word with Mr. Caraño and left my team to seek him out.
“Marco!” I shouted as I caught him walking past in the hallway.
“Hey you!” He smiled and greeted me with a hug. “Good game eh?”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes before looking down at his leg. “You okay there? He tackled pretty hard.”
“Oh yea, it’s fine. Just bruised.” He tapped his feet on the floor then tweaked my nose. “No need to worry your pretty little head about me.”
“No, Marco. I’m serious.” I pressed my lips together and touched his arm. “What did he say? He didn’t look too happy.”
He sighed and tousled his hair, eyes not meeting mine. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“Marco.”
“He was upset about last night.” He finally said quietly. His tired eyes met my confused one and he clarified. “When I let you stayed with me instead of taking you back.”
“What?” My brows furrowed then I understood and felt anger rising, clenching my hands into fists. “That was not your fault. You did what I said and what does it matter to him anyways?! We’re over. He doesn’t have the right to do anything like that!”
I turned to storm back to Mesut, about to give him a piece of my mind, forgetting that I wasn’t supposed to talk to him, but a hand gripped my arm. “No! Caeli, please don’t. He meant no harm.”
“Yea. But I do.” I hissed, frustrated with how Mesut was acting right now. One moment he was worried about me and wanting to say sorry and now he was giving me the cold shoulder and had the nerve to do that to Marco. It wasn’t right. I sighed and took a deep breath, a sinking feeling in my chest. It seemed like the good times were so far away.
“Look. Just calm down. He was upset and I understand that and we talked and it was fine. Forget about it okay?” Marco’s smile was so reassuring that I just nodded. “Now you guys need to talk.”
I shook my head and crossed my arms. “Not happening. That guy is an idiot.”
“You two are so stupid.” He groaned and flicked my forehead. “Just make up already.”
“Hey!” I exclaimed, rubbing the throbbing spot. “I can’t, Marco.” I tightened my grip on my upper arms and faced the wall. “He cheated on me and I don’t take cheaters lightly.”
“You don’t know that-”
“But I do!” My eyes flashed dangerously and I had to calm myself down so I wouldn’t lash out at the kind German. “I saw them, Marco.” My voice was quiet and I shook my head to will the image away. “I saw them…”
His hand rested on my shoulder and I let him steer me to face him. “But what if you came at the wrong time, Caeli.” His finger gently tilted my chin up and I was met with a reassuring smile.
“Wrong time-? Marco...” I sighed and pinched my forehead between by forefingers. All these talks were giving me a headache. “Please don’t make excuses for him.”
“I’m not. Just talk to him okay. You should be having this conversation with him and not me.”
“I don’t-”
“I think you should go.”
“What?” I looked up to see him looking past me. Turning my head, I saw Sami walking towards us and I exhaled loudly, not appreciating being interrupted nor do I want to leave right now. But seeing that it was time, I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Thank you so much, Marco.”
“Anytime, my little swan.” He kissed the top of my head and I tightened my grip on him, so thankful that fate brought us together again. He was a good friend- one that I wouldn’t mind keeping, even if he was thousands of miles away.
He pulled away and I pouted. “I’m going to miss you.”
“And I’m going to miss you too.” He chuckled then tapped my nose. “Don’t be a stranger now. If you need anything, give me a call.”
“I will.” I smiled and stood on my tiptoe to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Danke. For everything.”
I gave him one last smile before jogging away to Sami, who was waiting at the end of the hall. Sliding my arm through his, I turned once more to wave one more time before giving him my back.
“What was that about?” Sami eyed me from the side.
“Nothing.” I shrugged. “Saying goodbye to a very good friend. That’s all.”
He hummed and I looked straight ahead, not ready to leave at all or the fact of facing Mesut once we get back.
~
I stepped unto the bus and froze when I saw where the only open seat was. I mentally groaned and tried to lock eyes with anyone that could see my plea. But Sami didn’t even open his eyes with music blaring in his ears and Sergio was looking out the window, curious because he doesn’t usually do that. Assholes. The others were too busy chatting to pay attention and I sighed and sucked it up, shifting my bag further up my shoulder.
I can do this. Just a short ride to the airport next to Mesut. No big deal.
I coughed and waited to see his reaction as he was lying back with headphones on and eyes closed. When he didn’t hear me, I lifted up his bag from the chair and settled it on the floor before sitting myself down.
He jolted up. “What the-?! Oh…” He trailed off as he saw me getting my own headphones out.
“Only seat left.” I muttered, not wanting to say any more words than I should.
His eyes drank my form as if he couldn’t believe I was sitting next to him and he took off his headphones before sitting straight up. The way he was looking at me was making me warm but I paid him no mind and rested my head back, praying that this would be over soon.
My body was so tuned to his that it was hard just being near him but not able to touch him. I missed him so much- his scent, his warmth, his touch. I shifted my legs. His limbs were too close, too warm.
“Caeli-”
I squeezed my eyes shut and turn the volume of my music loud; drowning any words he could say to me.
Don’t look. Don’t listen. Don’t speak.
I held my breath as I could feel his burning gaze on me. My hands were curled around my jacket in a tight grip and I felt the blood rushing through my veins, wanting to see him- to touch him.
Don’t peek. Don’t you dare open your eyes or it’s all over.
I repeated the chants in my head and didn’t move an inch in case all the feelings I kept pent up would burst. I just wanted to get to the airport already. I needed air. I needed space. I needed- I felt a touch on my shoulder and jumped, contemplating whether I should open my eyes or not.
I guessed the person got tired of waiting and ripped off my headphones. I cautiously looked up to see an annoyed Sergio. “We’re here.”
“Oh… okay…” I frowned when he didn’t even wait for an answer before picking up his bag and walking out. What was his problem?
Gathering up my stuff, I quickly followed the rest of the players and staff out, not paying attention to Mesut at all. I sighed in relief as I stepped off the bus. Fresh air had never felt so nice. After checking in, we had about thirty minutes before the plane took off so I seated myself on the chairs and muted the world with my headphones.
I leaned back on the chair and covered my face; everything was weighing heavily in my mind and time was ticking for me. Once we get back, I had to give an answer to Mr. Caraño if I was to extend my stay here. But with things like this, do I really want to stay?
If Mesut went back to her, do I really want to see that? The answer was clear: of course not. But I wouldn’t want a relationship based on lies either. Did he truly love me? I inwardly grimaced and slump forward, placing my head in my hands. I hated this. This was why I didn’t want a relationship in the first place. It was too emotionally draining and when it hurts… it really extremely hurts.
“Caeli?”
I straightened up quickly before sighing in relief, forcing a smile at Iker. “Yes? Is it time already?”
He shook his head before sitting himself down next to me. “You feeling okay?”
I wanted to say yes and told him not to worry about little ole me but his gaze was so warm and kind that I could only shook my head slowly, my eyes tearing up a bit as feelings started to bubble up. His reaction was instant as he pulled me in for a hug. He didn’t say anything but just stroked my hair repeatedly. I grabbed a fistful of his clothes and hid my face on his chest, exhaling softly, composing myself to not have a breakdown in public.
“I’m sorry, Iker. I must look like an idiot right now.”
“You’re not an idiot and it’s no problem, little one. Everyone have relationship problems.” I felt him kiss my head and I pulled away with a grateful smile. Iker was always so kind and polite. If there was a problem, he would give his all to help you solve it- a true captain, a true leader, a big brother. He takes care of his kin and he takes care of them well. It was great feeling- being protected- and in return I promised myself to always have his back.
“Now you wanna tell me what’s going on?”
“Iker…”
“I know your time is running short if you don’t extend.” I pressed my lips together and nodded in agreement. “And we would all be very sad if you leave…”
I groaned and pouted. “Don’t try to guilt trip me to staying.”
He chuckled and ruffled my hair. “I’m not, I’m just telling the truth. We would all miss you very much.” I bit the insides of my cheek and sighed. “I know you might think it would be weird if you had a fallout with Mesut-”
“I know it’s gonna be weird.” I cut him off, twiddling my fingers. “I’m sure like all the others you’ll ask me to listen to him-”
“Yes. And they are right.”
“But Iker-”
His hands stopped the movement of mine and tilted my chin up. “No buts, Caeli. It takes two to run a relationship. Right now he’s doing all the work and you’re not.”
I frowned and took my hands away from his, crossing them in front of me instead. “We’re not in a relationship though.”
“You want to be. I know you do. Those eye bags tell me the truth.” He pressed and I turned my face away. “Look I know he made a mistake.” I rolled my eyes and he sighed. “But you didn’t listen to him. You assumed what he did and didn’t give him a chance to explain.”
“He could be lying though.” I threw back at him. How was everyone on his side? It wasn’t fair at all and it irked me a little.
“But he could be telling the truth.” He reached over and placed a warm hand on my shoulder. “You still love him, I know you do. You can’t just throw everything away after one incident.” I flinched, feeling like he meant that statement for more than this situation. “You have to work for it. Things might not be the same as before but it can be pretty damn close or maybe even better. Mesut is trying but what’re you doing Caeli?”
“Are you just going to wait and leave things broken as they were? You’re not going to fight for it? You think you’re just going to go home and the feelings will disappear? They won’t. They’ll still be there. Sure you can lock them up and try to go on with your life but if you truly love him, you won’t be getting rid of him that easily.”
I stayed still as his words took its course.
But I can try, can’t I?
He squeezed my shoulder once more before standing up. “Just think about it, okay? You have a couple of hours left.”
I watch his retreating back and sighed, a decision already turning in my head.
are we ever going to have an update? I'm dying to know whether she takes him back?! c'mon its mesut at least let him explain!!!
oh gawd i forgot to answer this.
um hi yes hello. lol. i'm sorry. i've been so busy with work since i took a vacation so i worked like 20 days straight and i'm like so burnt out i didn't wanna do anything once i got home. i'll try to update soon okay. but i literally work 6 days a week and i'm trying to catch up in life in general so yea~ why can't i be a kid again with no responsibilities??? ;A;
so hi! i'll just leave this here before i go to work and i hope you guys enjoy ok? it's a bit long and maybe a bit tedious to read and i'm sorry. i'm going to be busy the next few weeks because of work so i might not update as often. sorry. but i hope this long chapter will make up for it. enjoy~ :D
Thank goodness for the rain, the match was postponed to two days later. I felt better the next day and allowed myself to get out of bed and room since I pretty much was glued to the bed. Feeling bad for not telling Mr. Caraño anything, I went to give him a call and was surprised when he already knew why I didn’t come to the meetings or anything. He said the boys told him and I half-smiled. They were good for something after all.
All morning, I avoided Mesut like a plagued and was always out of his sight. I thanked God for making me small and able to hide behind people. Surprisingly, Sami and Sergio didn’t mention anything about the event and I was only happy to go along like nothing was wrong between us but I knew they were waiting for me to say something about it. They would just have to wait longer though.
Whenever Mesut was in the area, I would be like the wind and leave. I just didn’t want to deal with his broken promises and bullshit in the morning. I was too tired of hearing broken records.
Because we had to use Dortmund’s facilities I left my team to find their opponents about to finish their training. Gripping the package in my hands, I grinned as I pinpointed Marco laughing and jumping unto of one of his teammates pretending he had a lasso in his hands.
“Goofball.” I shook my head with a smile and watched as their coach called them together before dismissing them with laughter on their faces.
Taking this time, I jumped unto the field. “Meerkat!” I was afraid he wouldn’t hear but was relieved when his head spun around trying to find my voice. I smiled as his face lit up when he finally saw me then opened up his arms as I launched myself at him.
I laughed as he spun me around once before setting me back on solid ground. “Hi!”
“Well hello. Look who dropped in. My little swan.” The crooked smile was on his face and I grinned at the nickname he placed on me. “What are you doing here? How’d you know I was here?”
“I came here to give you your jacket back.” I saw him about to protest but I cut him off. “I was in the area and when I recognized you I had to. It’s only fair... Marco.”
His eyes widened a fraction. “You know...?”
“It was on the jacket.” I explained getting it out and pointing at the place. I looked up at him with a smile. “So much for being strangers huh?”
He let out a small laugh and shook his head. “Maybe it was fate. But I don’t want it back. It’s yours.”
I pouted. “But Marco-”
“Nope. I’m not taking it back.” He crossed his arms so I couldn’t force it into his hands. “I told you it’s for you to remember. I have loads more anyways.”
“Fine.” I stuck my tongue out. “I’ll put it in the very back of my closet where it will stay collecting dust.”
“Hey!”
I laughed and smiled when he flung his arm around my shoulder. “Well you’re looking better.”
“Maybe I’m just good at hiding things.” A somber smile appeared on my face and Marco opened his mouth but was interrupted by cat calls and hoots.
I looked to the far end of the pitch and there was a couple of his teammates laughing and hip thrusting the air, pointing at the two of us.
He ran a hand down his face. “I am so sorry. They are idiots.”
“Speak for yourself.” I poked his chest teasingly. “Mr. I’m-a-cowboy-and-I’m-pretending-my-friend-is-the-horse.”
“Shut up. You saw nothing.” He scrunched up his nose before he started walking, pulling me along. “I want you to meet them.”
“Guys, this is... um...” He turned to me with a sheepish smile. “You never told me your name.”
Cue the teasing and laughter.
After the short teasing of Marco not knowing my name was over, they bid me goodbye with smiles on their faces and kissy faces at him. They seemed like nice guys and the connection they had with each other reminded me of my own team, which I had forgotten about.
“Well I’ll let you get shower and change because you’re sweaty and stinky.” I grinned at his deadpanned expression. “I have to go back to work.” I sighed, not wanting to leave his presence. Even though I didn’t like him like Mesut, his presence gave me a bit of fresh air. I didn’t have to mind what I do with him and that felt nice.
“Whatever, Caeli. You know you like the smell of-”
“Sweat and dirt? No thanks.”
“Hard working men.” He opened up his arms and wiggled his eyebrows.
“No! Get away from me. You already touched me once so now I have to shower again.” I laughed and started to run as he made a move to grab me.
“Caeli!”
I stopped as I heard two voices called my name; one in laughter and the other in urgency.
“Gotcha!” Marco grinned as he wrapped his arms around me but let go when he saw I wasn’t laughing anymore. “What’s wrong? You okay?” His eyebrows furrowed in concern.
“Yea. Sorry. I have to go back to work now. It was nice meeting you again. I hope I’ll see you soon.” I said quickly, my eyes never leaving the figure jogging to us from the distance.
“What? Hey, Caeli. What’s going on? You okay?” He gripped my hand.
“Yes. Sorry for cutting it short Marco. I’ll talk to you soon okay?” I smiled slightly at him, squeezing his hand a bit before running off, ignoring my name being called once more.
I hid behind the wall as I saw Mesut talking with Marco with Sami coming right behind them. I sighed and moved away. I wonder if Mesut will tell him…
~
“Marco!”
The said person looked up from his phone and smile when he saw me walking towards him, giving me a one-arm hug once I had reached him.
“Hey. You’ve been waiting?”
“Not long.” I gave him a small smile. “Late lunch or early dinner with me? My treat.”
“I heard you have a team dinner tonight.” He raised a groomed eyebrow at me.
I shrugged. “They don’t need me there. Come on.” I tugged his hand and smiled when he let me lead him away.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I can’t let a pretty lady down.” I glanced up at him and grinned as he swung an arm across my shoulder. I felt his breath on my ear and tilted my head. “Plus we have business to talk about- a certain German named Mesut.” The smile dropped from my face and a sigh was heard.
Dammit. He told him.
~
“Maybe you should slow down there, Caeli.” Marco eyed me as I threw back my sixth shot of the night before taking my unfinished beer to chase it down. Yes, I am so hardcore.
“I’ve been needing a drink, Marco. You have no idea.” I slurred before slumping on the table with my head in my arms.
“You are pretty much drunk right now and you have a game tomorrow.” Marco let out a laugh and rubbed my back. “Am I gonna get in trouble with this since I didn’t stop you? Or wait… I actually did but you didn’t listen.”
“Shhh.” I threw my hands towards his face, which he grabbed and placed back down on the table. I sighed and turned to him. “Alcohol is my best friend. It makes the pain go away.”
He frowned and rubbed his neck. “Hey, Caeli, maybe you guys should talk it out-”
“Don’t say another word, Marco. You said you’d be on my side.” I glared at the German.
He held up his hands in defense. “I’m not on anybody side! I’m just saying-”
“Look. People say a lot of things and what they’re saying could be true or it could be a lie. We wouldn’t know now, would we?”
“Caeli-”
If I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go. I can take you places you have never been before. Baby, take a chance or you’ll never ever know. I got money in my hands that I’d really like to blow~
We both looked at the phone vibrating on the table and I looked away with a smile, sipping on my glass of water. “I know that look. Don’t judge. I like his songs.” Marco scrunched up his nose at me as he grabbed his phone to answer it. I shrugged before smiling to myself. Note to self: Marco Reus is a giant Justin Bieber fan.
I caught some words from his phone call and narrowed my eyes. It has to be Mesut because Marco just turned away and speaking in hushed whispers and talking about something along the lines of ‘I’m trying to talk to her but she’s really stubborn about not talking to you.’ I frowned and took action.
“Caeli! What are you-?!” He shouted in surprise as I lunged on his lap to get the phone.
“Look here, you cheating bastard!” I wriggled out of Marco’s lap so he couldn’t take the phone away from me. “You know what you did and you know what? It’s fine. You can do whatever the fuck you want now because we are over. So go ahead and shag your- Hey! I’m not finished!” I shouted indignantly as I tried to reach for the phone but he said some quick words then hung up, placing it back in my hands.
I rolled my eyes and pushed it to the table. “I don’t want it now.”
“You are so drunk right now. Let’s get you home.” Marco sighed putting some bills on the table before trying to lift me out of my chair.
“No! If you want to go home you can but I’m gonna stay just a bit longer.” I replied stubbornly, not budging an inch. I knew I was being childish and the room was spinning a bit but it didn’t matter.
“You have a game tomorrow. Don’t forget that.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m just a medic. I don’t have to play.” I shook my head, laying my head down on the table again before rotating it to face him. “You know, if you’re a friend of mine, maybe you can lay a heavy tackle on Mesut.”
He raised his eyebrows at me and shook his head. “Not gonna happen. And you are going home. Come on.” He lifted me up from the chair.
I groaned and leaned against him, too sleepy now to resist. “Fine. I’ll let you get me out of the restaurant.”
The walk to his car was full of his complaining comments and my giggles as I gave him a hard time with me falling all over the place.
“What now?” He asked exasperated as I stopped for the nth time.
“Shuddap and let me be. Unless you want my throwup all over the car.” I stuck my tongue out before leaning over the sidewalk, the tightening in my chest rising higher. When nothing happened in the next few minutes, I straightened up and giggled nervously. “False alarm.”
“Dammit, Caeli. You need to go home ASAP. You are a weird, crazy drunk and he will kill me if anything happened to you.” He rolled his eyes and helped me walk the remaining steps to his car.
“He won’t do anything.” I sighed and leaned my head back in the comfy passenger seat as he shut the door. I lolled my head to the side as he jumped in and sighed. “Please don’t take me home, Marco. I really don’t want to go home.” My voice becoming smaller and smaller as I looked at him through half-closed lids.
“I know you’re mad and sad about him but look at you, Caeli…” He gave me a look of pity and I turned away.
“Don’t look at me like that. I hate when people look at me like that.”
“Hey, come on. Don’t be like this.” I felt his fingers gently trying to turn my face and I let him. “What happened to that strong girl I met?”
I didn’t answer but stared at his face. With the alcohol still running in my system, I almost forgot that he has pretty eyes.
“Well, thank you…?” He looked at me amusedly. I blinked in confusion until I realized that I voiced that out loud.
I sat up and giggled, poking his hair while looking at him through half-opened lids. “And your hair reminds me of a porcupine.” I rubbed the tips between my fingers before trailing my hands down his face, cupping his cheeks between them. Marco really was a handsome man.
“Uh… Caeli…?” He whispered as I leaned closer. I felt his hands heavy on my shoulder but there was no force pushing me back.
He was nice. He was gentlemanly. He was funny. He was caring. And I don’t think that he would cheat. Marco is trustworthy…
I wrapped my hands around his neck and pressed myself close, nuzzling his neck, not noticing that he stiffened up. I gently brushed my lips against the skin of his neck and his scent enveloped me- different from Mesut.
He’s not Mesut.
A sob broke out of me and instantly Marco’s hands were rubbing my back whispering comforting words in my ear.
“Am I not good enough?” My voice was muffled by his shoulder but he heard me as I felt him shook his head.
“No, don’t say that. You are good enough. Don’t ever think that.”
“But he-”
“Lapse of judgement.” He pushed me away from his shoulder and lifted my chin up, wiping my ever flowing tears away. “He was beating himself up, Caeli. He loves you. And you love him too. I can see that emotion from the both of you and-”
“I like you, Marco.”
His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he sighed, unreadable emotions in his eyes. “You are so drunk right now, Caeli. You have no idea what you’re saying.”
I shook my head and planted a wet one on his cheek. “You, Marco…” I pointed a finger on his chest. “You are a very good friend. Very good…” I sighed as I rested my head on his shoulders, his comforting scent filling my nostrils as my eyes fluttered close. “Maybe if I had met you before…”
~
I groaned as I felt sunlight beaming through my closed lids. A pounding headache greeted me along with an unfamiliar room. Where am I? I rubbed the sleep away as I sat up and checked my surroundings. Okay. This is not my hotel room. I pressed the palm of my hand to my eyes so hard that phosphenes filled my vision as I tried to recall the night before.
“Oh my goodness.” I flopped back on the bed when bits and pieces of memories came back. “I am such an idiot. God, I will never drink again.” I bit my lip as memories of last night started to come back. I blinked as I realized something and looked down hastily, breathing a sigh of relief when I found that I had clothes on.
I ran a hand through my tangled hair before double checking on the clothes. “What the hell? These aren’t my clothes…” My eyes widened as I looked around the room.
“Morning sleepyhead.”
“Puta madre!” I jumped before calming my heart as Marco laughed from his position in the doorway. “You jerk!” I exclaimed, throwing a pillow his way. “You scared the crap out of me.”
He only laughed and came closer to place the glass of water and pills that he was holding on the bedside table. “I thought you might need this.”
“Oh yes please.” I quickly downed the tablets and water before nodding to the room then back at him. “Your place?”
“Well you said you didn’t want to go home…” He trailed off, his eyes looking off into the distance.
I nodded before looking down at the clothes I was wearing. “You’re clothes?”
“I didn’t see anything.” He blurted out hastily while looking away, even though pink dusted his pale cheeks a little. “I half-carried you in and when we reached the room, you started taking your clothes off even though I kept telling you to put them back on but you wouldn’t listen so we struck a deal that you’d at least wear a shirt and you said give me yours so I did.” I blinked at his fast explanation that I almost didn’t catch all of it. “I swear I saw nothing. Mesut will kill me if I did.” Marco shook his head as if clearing a memory.
“Ugh. Must you always bring him up in our conversations?” I moaned as I flopped back on the bed.
He didn’t reply but instead tugged on the blanket I pulled over my head. “Don’t go back to sleep now. We have a game today so let’s get going. Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”
I groaned and sat up. “I almost forgot. Ugh.” I stretched and covered my mouth as a big yawn flew out. “My clothes are in the hotel…”
“I have some you can borrow.” He handed me said things and I nodded in thanks. “These are the smallest I’ve got but I’m sure they’ll swallow you anyways.” He chuckled as I made a face at him. “But let’s get going soon.” He made his way out the door when I called him back.
“Can’t I just stay here forever? Your bed is soft.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Nevermind.” I scratched my head before reluctantly getting up and starting the day.
~
I bit my lip as the only sound in the car was music drifting from the speakers. I looked at Marco from the corner of my eyes and mentally sighed as I recalled what I did to him the night before. I will never drink again.
“Okay. What’s with the face?”
I blinked at him and tilted my head in question. “It’s my face…?”
“Spit it out. What’s on your mind?” His hazel orbs flew to me for a moment before looking back at the road.
“Nothing.”
“Oh come off it.” He rolled his eyes. “Seriously…”
I sighed before squeezing my eyes shut, flipping a coin in my head whether to tell him or not. “I’m sorry about last night.” I ended up blurting out. I peeked out to see him twitch before going back to his previous action. “Marco…?” I repeated when he remained silent.
His eyes narrowed as if he was thinking about a response to that but he just ended up shrugging. “Don’t worry about it. You needed to let it out.”
I sighed in relief when he didn’t make me specify what I was talking about. Marco really is a nice guy. I chewed the inside of my cheek as guilt washed over me. He had taken care of the drunk me very well and he listened and gave advice as a longtime friend would even though we just recently met. I wasn’t deserving of this.
I didn’t notice we had arrived at my hotel until his hand touched my arm. “Caeli…? We’re here.”
“Sorry.” I shook my head out of my thoughts and smiled slightly at him. “Thank you so much, Marco.” I pulled him into a tight hug and inhaled his calming scent. “You’ve treated me very kindly even though you just met me and just thank you. You’re a very good friend- one of the best I ever had. How could I ever repay you?”
He laughed and his chest vibrated with the sound. I felt a kiss on my head and I smiled into his shoulder. “No need to thank me or repay me. Anyone would do the same.”
“No they won’t. They would have left me for dead in the rain.” I teased as his sweet laughter filled the car once more.
After a moment of silence, he finally pulled away with a smile on his face. “Next time we’ll meet we would be opponents.”
“Technically I’m not playing against you but I guess you can say that.” I chuckled before looking at him with wide eyes. “You sure you can’t land a good tackle on Mesut?”
“I’m sure.” He groaned and rolled his eyes before turning serious. “Actually you can do something to pay me back.” I tilted my head in question as he went on. “Talk to Mesut for me okay?”
“Nope.” I crossed my arms as if it’ll block the oncoming conversation that’s coming.
“Just listen, Caeli. I know Mesut. He’s not like that, okay? He’s a good man and he’s not the type that cheats. Trust me on this.”
“I saw what I saw, Marco.”
“And I know what I know.” I narrowed my eyes and almost flew out of the car just so I can stop this conversation when he continued on. “He loves you. And you love him.”
“I broke up with him.”
“No you didn’t.” I gave him a look but he ignored it. “You might say that but your heart doesn’t say the same.” I shook my head. “You sleep talk, Caeli. I heard what you said. You still love him. And even if you’re dreaming, your dreams are filled with him.” I looked away from his intense gaze, wishing he couldn’t read me so well. Was I becoming so open that I couldn’t hide anything anymore? “You still do and you know it.”
“You don’t know how much I hate you right now.”
“Not more than Mesut I’m sure.”
“Well then I guess that’s none, according to you.”
“Which is also correct because I am ‘a good friend- one of the best I ever had’.” He quoted with a smirk. I rolled my eyes and sighed when I knew I couldn’t win with him. “Plus I would have killed him if he really did cheat on you.”
“Good to know.” I pressed my lips together, stuck between not wanting to believe in his statements and wanting to believe them. Mesut didn’t only break my trust once but twice and that was hard to come to terms with. I should have left him earlier but I knew I didn’t want to or couldn’t I guess. My heart was set on him and didn’t want to be freed from his grip. I couldn’t even take it back if I wanted to. Funny how love works.
I sighed and shook my thoughts away. “We have to go or we’ll be late.” He nodded and stiffened when I leaned closer to peck his cheeks before relaxing himself. “Thank you for everything, Marco. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” He smiled pinching my cheeks as I scrunched my nose at him. I pushed the door open and gave him a small smile before closing the door. He rolled down the window and I tilted my head in question. “Please think about what I said okay?”
“I make no promises.” I replied before turning around and walking away so he wouldn’t persuade me further. “I’ll see you later.” I called back behind my shoulder and I could almost feel his lingering eyes on my back.
Maybe Marco was right. Maybe Mesut didn’t cheat. Maybe… but then what did I saw? I didn’t understand and to understand I needed to talk to Mesut, which was something I didn’t want to do at the moment. He broke my heart not once but twice and I won’t be as easy to take back now. If he wanted me back he would have to fight. And he would have to fight hard. And if he has given up that’s okay.