Bisexual Confessions @bi-guy-confessions - Tumblr Blog

Hi, long time no talk.

I think I’m ready for some serious attempts at dating again. My last relationship really made me go sideways on whether I thought I even wanted to be with a person that much. The pandemic forced me into close quarters with a person I’d purposely wanted to to slow with, and he very clearly wanted to accelerate at a stage I wasn’t comfortable with. I was kind of glad, because it was one of the telltale signs that we weren’t great at communicating with one another and that we wanted different things. It just sucked because I felt like I was going to hurt him in the process, but I think it’s taken me sometime to realize that I’ve been healing because I was also hurt.

Anyway, I didn’t start up the old tumblr to lick my wounds. I’m actually excited to get back into proper dating. I’ve had some not great date experiences lately, and part of it is because I didn’t really try to make them good. I’m hoping with a new move and quite a lot of newfound vaccinated freedom, things will be easier.

Hello, we haven't talked before but I saw some of your most recent post about your relationship and was gonna ask if everything was still going alright with the distance and all? How ya doing?

We decided to not do distance, and we lived together for a few months, benefit of remote work during the pandemic.

Unfortunately we weren’t as compatible as we’d hoped and decided to break up. 7 months, but it’s not the worst. Good to find out and move on.

Relationships are hard

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for over a year now, and have been calling him my boyfriend for three months. If you read much of blog you’ll see that being in love with someone is all I ever wanted. I’m there now, but I’m struggling I guess with the ups and downs of being in a relationship and the added difficulty of distance. How I’ll manage all of this, I’m not sure.

#Do people still use tumblr?

Swinging back away from masculine attraction for a bit. Idk why. My dreams have just been very woman-focused and IDK what that’s about. We’ll see how long this lasts, dudes just seem to not be scratching that itch lately.

He texts me to tell me he misses me and I miss him too. As usual, the universe keeps trying to make it hard to keep it up. But I’m finding myself less interested in other guys. What’s happening?

I deleted Grindr (again)

And surprisingly not because I've been using it too much! I just didn't feel like it was helpful to me anymore, my subscription expired, and I kinda have another thing I'm depending on at the moment, so I rarely have interest in it. Idk. Maybe I'll reinstall it later, but it's strange that I don't feel like it's my only access to the queer community anymore like when I first installed it.

Is it wrong that when someone asks what I identify as I always answer me? I hate labels and I feel as long as we're not hurting anyone, what I do is my own business. BTW I suppose I should tell you I'm a bi married man who is only out to my wife and a few close friends.

So identity is part of a public persona. If you don't want to be identified by your sexuality then you should have that freedom. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Hating labels is an interesting thing for a guy who sent me a message detailing his current relationship, gender identity, and orientation. Sounds like you're on your own journey of self acceptance. No one has the right to know what your sexuality is or demand you tell them, but make sure what's driving that feeling isn't shame that's eating you up inside.

kthnxbitheseries

KTHNXBI - a new web series trying to figure out if bisexuality is a thing.

Coming to a Youtube channel near you on Valentine’s Day ❤️

#Looks like potential fun #20biteen

My last queer act of 20gayteen was coming out to my brother. It was nice. We cried and we hugged and he supported. May our following 20BiTeen be also great :)

Hey... sooo... I’m secretly bi... and I have been for a while. I’m kind of hoping to ring in 2019 with an internet girlfriend. I’ve never really explored this side of myself before... but I would really like to understand myself on a deeper level and I think that finding someone to connect with would help me! :) I’d take any advice or help! :)

Hi. You could just make friends online who know you’re queer if you’d like. The goal of having a boyfriend/girlfriend to me has never been something I’ve benefited from. Meeting more people/Going on more dates, sure. But depending on another individual to understand yourself might not be the best way to go about it. Before finding a girlfriend, find a friend.

I can’t figure out why I’m angry. I had coffee tonight which I shouldn’t have, but additionally fueled by that I had to explain the status of my parents knowing my sexuality to a friend I’ve mine I know from high school. Rehashing it felt fine, like it was just another story I tell, because honestly I feel ok about it right now, even though it’s not where I’d like to ideally be.

I then spent hours watching movies with my parents, and for some reason the program we were watching it on kept restarting the movie (It’s a foreign film) and it has this pretty homophobic scene in it and I brushed it off the first time, but then it repeated a second and a third time and I got annoyed. I didn’t laugh the first time or the times afterwards which is what my family likes to call me “being sensitive”.

And so when we gave up on the movie when it restarted again, my dad tried to show us the clip he thought that was funny on his phone, which I thought was silly. But then it started with that same homophobic scene again and I just felt ill. It’s so infuriating to not feel like I can express what makes me mad. How I feel like I watch them judge the person I truly am over and over again to my silent detriment.

When I was at work earlier this year, co-workers were talking about how funny they found photoshopped images of Putin and Trump kissing. When I politely pointed out that although I initially found it funny, it kind of bothered me that the crux of the joke was that they must like each other so much that they’re gay, that it had a homophobic premise. I didn’t accuse them, but was allowed to be in a safe space where I was out and could provide a perspective on a thing that bothered me. The immediate reinforcement and allowance for my voice to be heard and my feelings respected made me elated.

These are some of the things that being the in the closet can ruin for you. Because in the closet, you feel unheard and unseen. Sometimes people don’t get what the point of pride is in the gay community. Why be flamboyant? Why be in your face? Because we’re so used to policing ourselves and being in the shadows. More than any other groups are likely to be subjected to being surrounded initially by those who feel free to make comments or say things at your expense.

I’m just tired.

Got dumped early last week and I'm still trying to be ok with it. Felt like I needed a date to rebound to. Opened up tinder and saw a furry. Quit out. Gonna be single forever.

I went on a drinks date

It was great. I was worried from texting him before that he was going to be too physically focused and that we wouldn’t be able to talk, but I was very wrong. We were talking for two hours straight without me looking at my phone and I was really enjoying it and then HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT HIS BOYFRIEND.

And no tea no shade to those who enjoy the non-monogomous lifestyle. I just felt like it wasn’t really clear to me before we met and I woulda liked to have known so that my hopes didn’t get so high when someone already has a primary partner. Idk, I'm just mad because it was a good date which made it that much worse of a date and I hate dating, it’s exhausting, can I stop already except I feel foreveralooooooooooone.

#personal

Tbh, the buffering icon on Macs being a rainbow wheel is a form of homophobia

I’ve gone on four dates with a guy and done everything I can to relate and I find him attractive and everything but it’s not working and I just need to stop. I just don’t know how a person who works in non-profits and has no actual vanity can be so shallow and uninteresting in life. So I’m stopping. I need to find a different person who I can carry a conversation properly with. It shouldn’t be this much work.

#personal

Does no one find it weird that at the same time we’re becoming aware of gender diversity and progressing beyond the binary that new parents have made gender reveal parties a thing?

I went to pride this last weekend. It was OK. The number of brands and such at the parade was strange and I’m iffy about if I cared for that. I also went as kind of a date with a boy and I’m iffy about him too. I donned my Bi apparel though and people said nice things to me about it. I unfortunately didn’t see many dudes donning a bi flag or colors, only women, which is unfortunate, but one day maybe the visibility will be higher. We’ll see.

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