The level of performance you demand from bi people as a whole, but especially of bi women, is motherfucking insane. I really donât get why you all demand bi women virtue signal their sexuality by ârejectingâ men in order to not deem them gross lesbophobes by virtue of existing. âEvenâ if they prefer men thatâs not necessarily out of some internalized homo/biphobia. They just like men. Thatâs kind of part of (most bi peopleâs) bisexuality. Shocker, I know.
A lot of the behaviors you all accuse bi women of (not taking other women seriously as partners, for example) are behaviors a lot of lesbians in denial exhibit too but in us you see victims of our own pain and misogyny who need help and understanding, while in bi women you see vile irredeemable perpetrators who must be ostracized and punished.
You blame them of their own abuse at the hands of cis straight men in ways that if you remove the âbiâ from âbi womenâ you would recognize as disgusting victim-blaming, WHILE rejecting them & pushing them out of LGBT spaces, which, guess what you fucking geniuses; leaves them to have cis straight men as their only viable option. Funny how that works. Youâre all âwomen should stay away from dating bi womenâ or âbi women fetishize lesbianism by wanting to be with womenâ but shame bi women for being with men IN THE SAME BREATH. What the fuck do you want them to do? Be celibate for your own biphobic comfort?
I legit saw idiots on Twitter say ânormalize lesbians only dating other lesbiansâ as if thatâs not whatâs normalized already. Bi women are already seen as gross sluts that kiss women at parties to turn men on and only seriously date men. What the fuck isnât normalized about lesbians dating lesbians only?
You think that I, a literal fucking dyke, didnât see women at some point as hot for sex and men as the only viable partners for serious relationships? Would you see me as a disgusting dangerous misogynist for having been there, or as struggling with internalized homophobia? If itâs the later, why donât you extend that same compassion to bi women? Only difference there is that Iâm a lesbian and theyâre bisexual.
Sure, they like men so being with men isnât INHERENTLY torture for them like it is for me, but you donât think that thinking/behaving that way is traumatizing for them too? They love women and are depriving themselves of that experience out of internalized biphobia, misogyny and homophobia. You think that doesnât fuck them up too? Theyâre hurting too, but you think that, unlike a lesbian who does the same, THEY deserve that suffering.
And no one is telling you to date them or to suffer for them through it just because theyâre suffering too. What youâre being told is to see them as the non-straight women they are whoâre suffering too and understand the complexity of their situation the same way you would someone like me.
You think too that the âsolutionâ to the horrendous rates of IPV they face with cis straight men is swearing off men. Would you tell straight women to do the same if they donât want to be abused by male partners? You wouldnât. Because you see straight women as not having âan optionâ but think bi women do and thus they MUST be asking to be abused. Literal âasking for itâ shit. Itâs all victim blaming + Boys Will Be Boys, but add a âbiâ to it and itâs progressive somehow.
This points to you seeing womenâs attraction to men as only ok when itâs not âchosenâ, just a passive reception of misogynistic violence (which, way to take away the agency of womenâs sexualities, you dumb bitches), but when they IN THEORY have a âchoiceâ because they also like women, their attraction to men is active instead of passive, and thus theyâre cock-sucking sluts whoâre choosing to endanger themselves. You see women whose desire for men is active, as deserving of whatever results from their involvement with men. You canât be a biphobe without being a misogynist.
You see bisexuality as a fractured amalgam of homosexuality + heterosexuality instead of its own standalone identity, and thus they can and MUST choose one or the other, because their âheterosexualâ attraction and their gay attraction are in active competition within them like the fucking two wolves shit. You canât be a biphobe without being a homophobe.
Bi womenâs attraction to men is NOT normalized and biphobes are living proof of it. Itâs not normalized; theyâre bisexual, not straight. Their attraction to men coexists with, interlinks with and isnât independent of their attraction to women. Bi women ARE shamed and punished for liking men because they donât like men alone, they simultaneously like women and those are inseparable for them.
If it was normalized, it wouldnât be widespread to blame them for the abuse they receive when involved with men, like they should pick a side for their abuse to count or matter. They wouldnât be pushed out of LGBT spaces for being with men, it wouldnât be seen by other LGBT people (even many bi women themselves) as a flaw in their sexuality that makes them a gay-straight chimera. They wouldnât feel ashamed of their attraction to men. They wouldnât be seen with suspicion for liking men if it was normalized.
Them simultaneously liking men is seen as not loving men âcorrectlyâ AND as not loving women âcorrectlyâ. No LGBT women (including cis bi women and straight trans women) are seen as doing love and sex âcorrectlyâ.
You can only claim bi womenâs attraction to men is normalized if you see bisexuality as a Lego combo of straight + gay and thus their attraction to men is separable from their attraction to women. Itâs not. Theyâre not cherry-picked bits and pieces of heterosexuality and homosexuality. Theyâre 100% bisexual, always, no matter in what way their bisexuality expresses itself. Be it bisexual with no preference, bisexual with a preference for women, or bisexual with a preference for men.
Itâs not 50-50% straight-gay, 25-75% straight-gay, or 80-20% straight-gay respectively. ALL are 100% bisexual-bisexual. If you canât respect that, youâre a homophobe and a misogynist.
And yes, it is HOMOphobic to see bi women with suspicion for liking men. You see âhomosexualâ attraction as inherently in jeopardy if thereâs a coexisting âheterosexualâ attraction because the gay one will be lesser and you see the âstraightâ one as a threat thatâll take precedent. Thatâs your gay insecurity from internalized homophobia speaking.
Then too, thereâs a reason biphobes think bi men are secretly gay, and bi women are secretly straight. You see men as the superior and inevitable choice for both. Thatâs misogyny. If youâre a biphobe, you ARE undoubtedly a misogynist and a homophobe, even if youâre gay and/or a woman yourself.
Every time people make armchair judgements of bisexual women as man-worshipers all I can think of is my sister who cried rivers of tears to me about how painful and stressing it is to over-perform her attraction to men whoâre not even her type (she likes gnc men!) just to stay closeted, and when I think of that, I wish so badly I could slap each and every person doing that.
And yeah! You read right, GNC MEN. Bisexuality is âgay enoughâ, âevenâ in their different-gender attraction, that plenty of bi women prefer gnc men, and plenty of bi men prefer gnc women. In fact, plenty of bi people, including the cis ones, are gnc themselves (with a specific tendency towards androgyny but thereâs many whoâre distinctly masculine/feminine at it) and thus much more visible as gay than someone like me; a fucking lesbian, but Iâm fem-presenting.
âBi people can stay closeted while in relationships.â So can gay men and lesbians who have beards, who hide our partners, whose partners are trans and closeted, if weâre trans and closeted ourselves, or if weâre single and not visibly gnc.
My relationship would be seen as straight by outsiders because my fiancĂŠ is a closeted trans lesbian. Unless youâre a transphobe you would NOT call that a fucking privilege. Itâs not a fucking privilege that sheâs forced to hide herself and hide that the nature of her exclusive love for women is gay. That shit fucking kills her inside. Itâs not a privilege that to keep the love of my life safe and myself too I have to pretend that our love is straight when it was so fucking hard for me to just detect, let alone ACCEPT and take pride in that I donât like men.
All of that keeps us safe, but at great emotional cost. Being closeted is safety for all LGBT people, but itâs not a privilege, itâs PAINFUL. You understand this when it comes to gay men and lesbians, and can feel compassion for us. Why not for bi people? Why are you so angry at bi people? Why do you hold so much contempt for bi people?
Iâll tell you why: BECAUSE YOUâRE BIGOTS.
vaporwave
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
