Wade Made Me Do This.

I work alone

[big-bad-wolvie]

"sup bub"

My name is Logan.

Don't talk to me.

I'm older than Wyoming

I know akido

I can't vote

I tried to kill Jughead once

I practice ethical non-monogamy

I'm on my 6th beer and I've been awake since march

Thanks to @d-adpool for the pfp

Ok so OOC:

Logan's dating @merc-with-a-mouth-69

Fun fact that intro is from a Pinterest post I saw once

DNI: bigots and other deplorable people

This is mostly based off of the comics actually but the DP and Wolvie movie also probably happened

This Logan is 198 years old he's with the X-Men and he's single, pan, and poly

Also just assume some form of the 90s show happened

Oh also the mun is the same as @frankcastle-79

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

You guys went from “we don’t like each other” to having your tongues down each others throats reeeeal fast babe

What if I blocked you and then called your mom and blocked her too

[big-bad-wolvie]

What if the mom's hot.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

I’ll become their stepdad.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Fair.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

You guys went from “we don’t like each other” to having your tongues down each others throats reeeeal fast babe

What if I blocked you and then called your mom and blocked her too

[big-bad-wolvie]

What if the mom's hot.

[mercwithamouth69aus-deactivated]

Hey baby, can we talk? Not the breakup kind for the record.

@big-bad-wolvie

Uhhhhh I’m terrified…. What’s up?

[big-bad-wolvie]

I talked to Hank yesterday. I can't have kids. Something about my healing factor.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

Logan in a swimsuit

Raw. All day. All night. On the stairs. In the bed. On the counter. Outside. In the car. On a plane. In ikea. On the steps. In the shower.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Bet.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

Don’t test me I’ll have your children.

[big-bad-wolvie]

I'm great with kids.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

…. 👀

[big-bad-wolvie]

... Your apartment?

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

Logan in a swimsuit

Raw. All day. All night. On the stairs. In the bed. On the counter. Outside. In the car. On a plane. In ikea. On the steps. In the shower.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Bet.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

Don’t test me I’ll have your children.

[big-bad-wolvie]

I'm great with kids.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

Logan in a swimsuit

Raw. All day. All night. On the stairs. In the bed. On the counter. Outside. In the car. On a plane. In ikea. On the steps. In the shower.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Bet.

[big-bad-wolvie]

You. Me. Date night.

Great where?

Also Jubilee is playing Ariana Grande at top volume. It's annoying.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

You know what? I don’t even wanna be Logan’s friend anymore. Dumb asshole. Fuck that guy.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Damn.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

Wrong variant, sweetie. You’re always in the clear.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Nice.

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

You know what? I don’t even wanna be Logan’s friend anymore. Dumb asshole. Fuck that guy.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Damn.

[d-adpool]

*turns you into the merc without a mouth deadpool from origins... Physically at least.*

joke's on you i already have my text to speech enabled because i use the speech to text setting constantly to hear what the fuck people are talking about

i should get a hearing aid actually. once this mouth thing wears off i'm gonna go get a hearing test and have the hearing doctor people help me with one

[big-bad-wolvie]

Well you tried Anon. Should've tried harder though.

[d-adpool]

problem is as soon as you tell me i can't eat for a while i start feeling so fuckin snackish

[big-bad-wolvie]

Just drink water through your nose it works trust me.

[d-adpool]

that is called drowning

[big-bad-wolvie]

Rub some dirt in it.

[d-adpool]

in my nose? why would i do that

[big-bad-wolvie]

You'll live.

[d-adpool]

that's... logic i've used before, for sure, but i'm not gonna do that

[big-bad-wolvie]

well I tried.

[d-adpool]

*turns you into the merc without a mouth deadpool from origins... Physically at least.*

joke's on you i already have my text to speech enabled because i use the speech to text setting constantly to hear what the fuck people are talking about

i should get a hearing aid actually. once this mouth thing wears off i'm gonna go get a hearing test and have the hearing doctor people help me with one

[big-bad-wolvie]

Well you tried Anon. Should've tried harder though.

[d-adpool]

problem is as soon as you tell me i can't eat for a while i start feeling so fuckin snackish

[big-bad-wolvie]

Just drink water through your nose it works trust me.

[d-adpool]

that is called drowning

[big-bad-wolvie]

Rub some dirt in it.

[d-adpool]

in my nose? why would i do that

[big-bad-wolvie]

You'll live.

[d-adpool]

*turns you into the merc without a mouth deadpool from origins... Physically at least.*

joke's on you i already have my text to speech enabled because i use the speech to text setting constantly to hear what the fuck people are talking about

i should get a hearing aid actually. once this mouth thing wears off i'm gonna go get a hearing test and have the hearing doctor people help me with one

[big-bad-wolvie]

Well you tried Anon. Should've tried harder though.

[d-adpool]

problem is as soon as you tell me i can't eat for a while i start feeling so fuckin snackish

[big-bad-wolvie]

Just drink water through your nose it works trust me.

[d-adpool]

that is called drowning

[big-bad-wolvie]

Rub some dirt in it.

[d-adpool]

*turns you into the merc without a mouth deadpool from origins... Physically at least.*

joke's on you i already have my text to speech enabled because i use the speech to text setting constantly to hear what the fuck people are talking about

i should get a hearing aid actually. once this mouth thing wears off i'm gonna go get a hearing test and have the hearing doctor people help me with one

[big-bad-wolvie]

Well you tried Anon. Should've tried harder though.

[d-adpool]

problem is as soon as you tell me i can't eat for a while i start feeling so fuckin snackish

[big-bad-wolvie]

Just drink water through your nose it works trust me.

[d-adpool]

*turns you into the merc without a mouth deadpool from origins... Physically at least.*

joke's on you i already have my text to speech enabled because i use the speech to text setting constantly to hear what the fuck people are talking about

i should get a hearing aid actually. once this mouth thing wears off i'm gonna go get a hearing test and have the hearing doctor people help me with one

[big-bad-wolvie]

Well you tried Anon. Should've tried harder though.

[scottsummers-xmen]

You need a catchphrase.

I have a couple the public’s pinned on me.

[big-bad-wolvie]

I like "it's on sight"

[scottsummers-xmen]

That one’s.. rough. Personally I like “I always have a plan.” Or the clastic “optic blast”

[big-bad-wolvie]

... Do I ever yell "ADAMANTIUM CLAWS" in the middle of a fight? No! You're just yelling what you're doing this ain't an anime.

Also you don't always have a plan so that's factually wrong

[scottsummers-xmen]

Have you ever seen the Summers protocols? Clearly not. Last time I remember not having a plan was the skyscraper sized centaur that generates its own attack fauna.

[big-bad-wolvie]

What the fucks a "Summers protocol", bub.

Y'got something y'wanna tell the team, Batman?

[scottsummers-xmen]

All of my plans for everything.

I write them when I’m bored.

[big-bad-wolvie]

... I'd judge but I do weirder stuff when I'm bored... Actually I'm still judgin'

[scottsummers-xmen]

Well, I digress it’s what I’m known for.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Fine you can keep the plan catchphrase but I'm just sayin' "it's on sight" is pretty good.

[scottsummers-xmen]

..I don’t hate it. Of course “you didn’t see that coming” is always an option

[big-bad-wolvie]

Now we're getting creative, that's not bad. How 'bout "first ya see me now ya don't"

[scottsummers-xmen]

Oh that’s horrible

[big-bad-wolvie]

... This is why my catchphrase is growling.

[scottsummers-xmen]

Isn’t it “I’m the best at what I do and what I do isn’t very nice”?

[big-bad-wolvie]

That's not a catchphrase it's a quote

I don't yell that in the middle of a fight.

The most catchphrasey catchphrase I have is Feral Rage

[scottsummers-xmen]

You need a catchphrase.

I have a couple the public’s pinned on me.

[big-bad-wolvie]

I like "it's on sight"

[scottsummers-xmen]

That one’s.. rough. Personally I like “I always have a plan.” Or the clastic “optic blast”

[big-bad-wolvie]

... Do I ever yell "ADAMANTIUM CLAWS" in the middle of a fight? No! You're just yelling what you're doing this ain't an anime.

Also you don't always have a plan so that's factually wrong

[scottsummers-xmen]

Have you ever seen the Summers protocols? Clearly not. Last time I remember not having a plan was the skyscraper sized centaur that generates its own attack fauna.

[big-bad-wolvie]

What the fucks a "Summers protocol", bub.

Y'got something y'wanna tell the team, Batman?

[scottsummers-xmen]

All of my plans for everything.

I write them when I’m bored.

[big-bad-wolvie]

... I'd judge but I do weirder stuff when I'm bored... Actually I'm still judgin'

[scottsummers-xmen]

Well, I digress it’s what I’m known for.

[big-bad-wolvie]

Fine you can keep the plan catchphrase but I'm just sayin' "it's on sight" is pretty good.

[scottsummers-xmen]

..I don’t hate it. Of course “you didn’t see that coming” is always an option

[big-bad-wolvie]

Now we're getting creative, that's not bad. How 'bout "first ya see me now ya don't"

[scottsummers-xmen]

Oh that’s horrible

[big-bad-wolvie]

... This is why my catchphrase is growling.