[bigboytm]

hello and welcome! this is an indie & mutuals only rp blog for jim hopper of stranger things. semi-canon divergent. heavily headcanon based. written by camilla.

blah blah this is my interpretation of jim hopper, fuck the duffers ending etc etc. my characterization is mostly based on s1&2 (with some tfs elements) and ignores most personality changes that happen s3 and beyond

all that to say i would love to write with anyone interested, so dm me and we can get something started!

affiliated with @punchback

carrd | memes | headcanons

blogroll: @robinfm @chrryslushie

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

( dialogue  prompts  taken  from the script of  everything  everywhere  all  at  once  (2022),  directed  by  daniel  kwan  and  daniel  scheinert.  feel  free  to  edit  and  change  as  you  seem  fit. )

❛ you look really pretty right now. ❜

❛ stop changing the subject. ❜

❛ every day i fight, i fight for all of us. ❜

❛ what are you doing? what is wrong? ❜

❛ if i have to think about one more thing today, my head will explode. ❜

❛ you may be in grave danger. there is no time to explain.❜

❛ we can make our own way. please, come with me. ❜

❛ don't even talk to me about this because i won't remember.❜

❛ i am not your husband. at least not the one you know. i am another version of him from another life path, another universe. ❜

❛ i’m here because we need your help.❜

❛ sorry, very busy today. no time to help you– ❜

❛ all those years of searching have brought me here. to this universe. to you. ❜

❛ i’m here to tell you every rejection, every disappointment has led you here. to this moment. ❜

❛ i'm not ready to fight yet. ❜

❛ maybe we don't have a choice. ❜

❛ now, you can either come with me and live up to your ultimate potential, or lie here and live with the consequences. ❜

❛ i... want to lie here. ❜

❛ how often do people literally die laughing? ❜

❛ my husband won't even kill a spider. how are you the same person? ❜

❛ we are talking about infinity. if you can imagine it, somewhere out there, it exists. ❜

❛ how did i die? ❜

❛ i've seen you die a thousand ways. in a thousand worlds. in every single one, you were murdered. ❜

❛ what!? who wants me dead? ❜

❛ you’ve been feeling it too, haven’t you? something is off. your clothes never wear as well the next day, your hair never falls in quite the same way, even your coffee tastes... wrong. ❜

❛ maybe we would have been better off if we had never gotten married. ❜

❛ i never said that. ❜

❛ you didn’t have to. it’s the way you look at me. ❜

❛ can’t you see it? how wonderful it would be if you came with me? ❜

❛ i saw my life without you. i wish you could have seen it. it was beautiful. ❜

❛ shhh, you're not thinking straight. ❜

❛ what is worse than death? ❜

❛ i saw your face on a billboard and — this is silly — i wondered if you remembered me... ❜

❛ is it that i can’t be here, or that i’m not allowed to be here? ❜

❛ there is no good, there is no evil. there is only “goovil”. ❜

❛ if you can imagine it, you have fucked it. ❜

❛ do not be so closed minded that you blind yourself from the truth! ❜

❛ don’t make me fight you. i am really really good. ❜

❛ you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. ❜

❛ you can't remember anything because your bodies were under the control of other universes. ❜

❛ you were like puppets. and you could do things you normally can't do. you were like, what's that movie... raccaccoonie? ❜

❛ how can you defeat her in every universe, if you can't even kill her in one? ❜

❛ the sacrifices necessary to win this war... i know all too well. ❜

❛ i cannot lose another loved one to the darkness. ❜

❛ i know you have feelings. feelings that make you so sad. that make you just want to give up. that is not your fault. ❜

❛ i'll see you again soon, somewhere out there in all that noise. ❜

❛ just think happy thoughts. ❜

❛ you okay? caught you staring off into space again. ❜

❛ i'm the one you've been looking for. ❜

❛ i’m the one who will defeat you. ❜

❛ you’re finally free, like me. ❜

❛ you don't have to choose anymore. between loving me or hating me. you can do both at the same time. ❜

❛ before, you were asking about "our daughter". it's crazy, but it really got me thinking. what if you had come with me all of those years ago? ❜

❛ all of this time, i wasn't looking for someone who could defeat me. i was looking for someone who could see what i see, feel what i feel... ❜

❛ oh, good, you're here too. ❜

❛ i'm sorry about ruining everything, i– ❜

❛ we're all stupid. small stupid little humans. it's like our whole deal. ❜

❛ everything is going to be okay. ❜

❛ you think i’m weak don’t you? ❜

❛ when we first fell in love all of those years ago, your father would say i was too sweet for my own good. maybe he was right. ❜

❛ please! can we just stop fighting! ❜

❛ you tell me that it's a cruel world and we're all just running around in circles. i know that. i've been on this earth just as many days as you. ❜

❛ the only thing i do know is we have to be kind. be kind. especially, when we don't know what's going on. ❜

❛ i know you go through life with your fists held tight. you see yourself as a fighter. well, i see myself as one too. this is how i fight. ❜

❛ in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you. ❜

❛ you know what i say? cold, hysterical, unlovable bitches like us make the world go round. ❜

❛ you aren’t unlovable. there is always something to love. ❜

❛ even in a stupid, stupid universe where we have hot dogs for fingers, we’d all be very good with our feet! ❜

❛ in a universe where we both agree that no one could love you, if we look hard enough, something will prove us wrong. ❜

❛ we are all useless alone. so its good you're not alone. ❜

❛ maybe you win in this universe. but in another, i beat you. or we tie. or we eat crepes. ❜

❛ i don't want to hurt anymore. and for some reason when i'm with you, it hurts both of us. ❜

❛ out of all of the places i could be, why would i want to be here with you? ❜

❛ i still want to be here with you. i will always want to be here with you. ❜

❛ i will cherish these few specks of time. ❜

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  dialogue  prompts  taken  from episode one: faith of  the wolf among us (2013),  developed  by  telltale  games.  trigger  warning  for  dark  themes.  feel  free  to  change  as  you  seem  fit. )

❛ if you can’t afford to look human, you’re going to the farm. it’s as simple as that. ❜

❛ fucking hell. see? this is what i called you about, sheriff. ❜

❛ so, what am i walking into exactly? ❜

❛ get the fuck out of the way before you get the axe again. ❜

❛ look, i'm not leaving until i get what's mine. ❜

❛ hey! if you can't be nice, i'm gonna make you wait outside. ❜

❛ it's just little misunderstanding that turned into a real shit show. don't worry. you saw all the best bits. ❜

❛ i let you slap me around for a while. you're lucky i'm not charging extra. ❜

❛ look, this is just the start of a shitty night for me. i just need the money he owes me, then i can go. ❜

❛ my name's whatever you'd like it to be, handsome. ❜

❛ sorry, sheriff. wouldn't want to add any difficulty to your night. ❜

❛ seriously. i need to know if you're okay. ❜

❛ i know you're fucking in there. come on out, you fucking dog. ❜

❛ you alright back there? i mean... your eyes and the teeth... you're not supposed to do that, are you? ❜

❛ hey, do you like my ribbon? ❜

❛ beautiful... ❜

❛ i feel like we've met before... ❜

❛ we all sort of knew each other at one point. but things change, i guess. ❜

❛ stop. we don't have to make any more of a thing out of it than it already is. ❜

❛ stop changing the subject. if you don't answer my questions, i can't help you. ❜

❛ how much was it he owed you? ❜

❛ i'm guessing it'd be bad for you to show up empty-handed. ❜

❛ he hit you. he needs to pay for that. ❜

❛ just... take the money, okay? ❜

❛ you got me out of a bad situation back there... thanks. ❜

❛ meet me back at my office, then. ❜

❛ it's a little late for an office visit, sheriff. i'll swing by your apartment. ❜

❛ you should get cleaned up. you look like shit. and i don't use that term lightly. ❜

❛ it's okay. i'll be fine. you've done enough. really. ❜

❛ you're not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ see you around... wolf. ❜

❛ look, i've got an hour of paperwork ahead of me and i've already had to deal with one asshole tonight, so just— ❜

❛ you're out pretty late... ❜

❛ you can't be too careful these days. ❜

❛ thank you... for trusting me. really. i appreciate it. ❜

❛ what a night... ❜

❛ got a smoke? ❜

❛ i take it all back... this is why everyone hates you. ❜

❛ so... everyone hates me? ❜

❛ "it is better to be feared, than loved." you know who said that? ❜

❛ they fear you more than anything. you ate a lot of people back in your day. ❜

❛ i thought we were all supposed to have a fresh start here. i can't change the past. ❜

❛ who'd you get in a fight with? ❜

❛ i was doing my job, believe it or not. ❜

❛ i'm sure you were shitty to everyone you came across tonight. ❜

❛ will you shut up? ❜

❛ these walls are paper-thin... ❜

❛ we need to be careful. we'll talk outside. ❜

❛ there hasn't been a murder in fabletown in a long time... ❜

❛ all the more reason we shouldn't start a panic before we know what's going on. ❜

❛ you can see that someone didn't just toss her here. she was deliberately placed... for us to find. ❜

❛ what kind of monster would do this? ❜

❛ i found a trail of blood. ❜

❛ if anyone's to blame, it's me. you don't need to be yelling ❜

❛ instead of trying to assign blame, maybe we should figure out how to catch the fucker who did this. ❜

❛ do your job, sheriff... or we'll find someone who can. ❜

❛ well, that could've gone better. ❜

❛ oh, he doesn't like people smoking in— never mind. smoke away. ❜

❛ i probably should've listened to you. ❜

❛ wasn't gonna say i told you so. ❜

❛ that was an 8 on the asshole scale. asshole scale... that doesn't sound right. ❜

❛ tarot is a backwards art. i wouldn't put too much stock in its wisdom. ❜

❛ the longer you talk, the longer this takes, so just stand over there and shut up. ❜

❛ if you're gonna say something, out with it. ❜

❛ it's been the hottest summer in years, so why would you be making a fire? ❜

❛ i shot myself in the heart... thought i'd be dead by now... hurts like hell. ❜

❛ i know how it looks, but i had nothing to do with that. ❜

❛ come on. i'm bringing you in. ❜

❛ you almost looked peaceful. except you're lying in a dirty alley. with an open wound on the back of your head. ❜

❛ every time i think I'm getting a handle on what's going on... things just get more complicated. ❜

❛ it feels like we're always a step behind. ❜

❛ be honest with me. who do you think did this? ❜

❛ you look tired. ❜

❛ you're doing your best. it's all anyone can do. ❜

❛ not the advice i imagined hearing from you. ❜

❛ i... um, just be careful. please. ❜

❛ i'm being nice, so try again. ❜

❛ don't let him tell you what to do. you're your own woman. ❜

❛ i'd just like some help, then i'll be out of here. ❜

❛ don't lie to me. it'd be bad for everybody. ❜

❛ call me a liar, and it'll be bad for you. ❜

❛ how about i buy you a drink? ❜

❛ how about you keep your drink and piss off? ❜

❛ i know you're an asshole, and you're not wanted here. how's that for what i know? ❜

❛ i don't want to be here. you don't want me here. the sooner you answer my questions, the sooner i'll be out of your hair. ❜

❛ come on. you know why i'm here. ❜

❛ i'm a piece of shit, okay, i know that. but i didn't kill her. ❜

❛ i didn't realize you were the bitch of the bitch. ❜

❛ that all you got? ❜

❛ if you run, it'll be worse. trust me. ❜

❛ you said you wouldn't hurt me! ❜

❛ you said you wouldn't run. ❜

[lcftwild]

the idea of staying with the wheelers and the reality were two very different things -- something that became abundantly clear within two weeks of their new living situation. not that will wasn't grateful! because obviously he was. being stuck in hawkins with no house was not his idea of fun ( he couldn't imagine it was anyone's, but the military who had put them on lockdown and refused to let them leave again didn't rightly seem to care about the technicalities of it all ), but putting eight people with an array of different personalities wasn't exactly a walk in the park either. it helped, of course, that will had previously spent so much time in the wheeler house; that it was almost a second home to him already. will knew how to live with mike, knew how to talk to holly, knew when to engage with nancy, knew how easy it was to let karen care for him, knew how to skirt around the edges with ted.

all of this to say, will needed a break from the wheeler house. he needed a day, a few hours at least, where he didn't feel like he was being watched or asked if he was okay. he's not exactly sure how it happens, an offhanded comment to his mom to start with, but soon enough he's carefully making his way through the woods surrounding hopper's cabin. careful of the traps, careful of the wildlife, he's so focused on his approach that he almost startles when he looks up and finds hopper on the little porch. almost. instead he kind of relaxes a little, a timid smile on his lips as he gives a small wave of his fingers. "hi, hopper." a pause, barely a moment to give himself time to overthink it or make it weird. "can i hide here for a bit?"

starter call for @bigboytm!

[bigboytm]

if he completely forgets about the fact that the town is under a lockdown and he can't leave town with jane and the byers, it has been nice to have jane living with him and joyce with her boys nearby. especially after spending nearly a year in a russian prison, this was as close to heaven as he's been in a long time. (if he also forgets that his cabin was trashed and he's spent more time rebuilding it than living peacefully in it. though the kids did a good job picking up the pieces before he moved back in).

luckily, when he's tired of being inside and seeing the same four walls, he can sit out on his porch with a cigarette and pretend everything is right in the world for a moment. hopper is a bit surprised when he sees will approaching alone since it wasn't often he did that. really the only time will had a reason to come to the cabin was when hopper was hosting a 'family' dinner with all the byers and jane, but he didn't mind the company at all. "hey, kid. of course." hopper puts out the cigarette in the ashtray that was resting on his knee before standing up, the ashtray being moved to the chair. "el's not here if that's who you're looking for. she ran off with max this morning."

[bigboytm]

genuinely what happened to hopper's trailer home after the town believed he "died" in a mall fire alkdjf i guess i get to decide that since it happened off screen lmao

i kinda like to pretend he had a will written up and he left it to joyce? because he couldn't really put jane for a number of reasons... and he wasn't gonna let it go to the state if he died lmao... and then joyce sold it for money to move to california?

[bigboytm]

if i look inactive, i promise i'm not! i just have nothing to reply to at the moment :((

[punchback]

as she leaned into him, guided down in the half - concealing refuge of the truck bed until they rested chest to chest, joyce couldn't help but smile against jim's mouth. he tasted like unfiltered camels; a slight bitterness that brought her back to the steps between fifth and sixth period, that paled next to the smell of sweat and evening musk and something else that seemed uniquely, unequivocally him.

she scratched her nails through the hair at the nape of hopper's neck, her other hand braced at his side — and when she finally settled on top of him, close enough to feel the rise and fall of his ribcage, shifted her hips against his; moved against him, slowly, rhythmless and thoughtless, where they were still semi - clothed. it almost felt instinctive, to keep him this close: like a desperate want to feel him, solid and real, shorn of bravado or any remorse. and she did; the musculature of his arms around her, the inviting heat of his mouth, his tongue — the hardness of him through two thin layers of cotton.

he felt safe, like nothing else she'd ever wanted ( like more than she deserved, more than a warm, shared beer and a disappointing quickie on lonnie's old mattress on some tiring, mundane friday night ) and the renewed friction between them was nothing short of bliss.

" god, hop, " she gasped, mid - bruising kiss. " you know you make me crazy, too, right? "

[bigboytm]

every touch and shift of her hips felt like the first time. that exciting, electric jolt that goes through the body when it's touched in a new way. except nothing about this was new. he felt familiar with her body in a way that he's never felt with anyone else before and yet there is still so much to discover about her.

joyce's confession made him smile more than he already was between kisses, "oh, i can tell." the hand that had been respectfully resting against her hip smoothed over her bottom to slip his fingers under the fabric of her underwear, seeking that heat between her thighs. "i can feel it." his head spun with want when he could feel how wet she was. like he couldn't decide between pushing her underwear to the side and having her half-clothed like this because his body wanted her so badly, obvious with the way he was aching against the fabric of his underwear now. or the side of him that was so deeply in love with the woman on top of him wanted to dive in and make her come apart with his mouth alone before he even thought about getting any pleasure himself.

the options were contemplated as he pushed his middle finger inside and left a bruising kiss on her lips. in reality though, he was putty in her hands--happy to be shaped and molded into whatever she needed out of him so letting her take the lead, he continued to kiss and tease her while waiting for instruction from the only person he happily takes orders from.

[bigboytm]

i feel like hopper would love the era of really big ass burritos from qdoba in the 2000s idk

[punchback]

somewhere between the edge of the table and the end of the couch, joyce practically collided with hopper — against the opposing trajectory of his stride, then the span of his hands, bracing her as if to cease her fitful motion; the sturdiness of them around the wrinkled shoulders of her too - large overshirt.

the look she shot up at him fell somewhere between frayed - nerved and frazzled indignance.

" what will? a search party? " she countered. it wasn't that she didn't trust him to unearth the reason why will had vanished, as if out of thin air. it wasn't that she didn't think him capable of digging up some shrouded trail, some clue. she did: more than anyone she'd offered her innermost worries to. but staying still, stagnant in the prison of her home's flickering lights and torn wallpaper felt like an impossible task — with nothing to do but let the slow slink of night pass her by, she felt like she'd started crawling out of her skin. what will needed, wherever he was, was for her to take action: not for her to to sleep, rest; not for her to put down the weight of every what if that'd been rattling around her head for days and wait, complacent in her restless repose. she'd grown tired of waiting.

" when a kid goes missing — " she started, then stalled. like in new york, she'd wanted to affix. somewhere else, where these things happened; not like here, in slow, sleepy hawkins. " is there a timeline? before you stop searching? "

[bigboytm]

the pills in his pocket felt heavy with hypocrisy now. telling her to remain calm during a time like this when he was going through his day to day essentially high just to deal with the pain of losing sara. it was the only way to keep going forward most days even if he felt like a zombie by the time he took the second one with his lunch. and the third around dinner with the beers would make him pass out on the couch like a slob.

he didn't take that third today though for joyce. he needed to be alert or else will byers would never be found.

she couldn't live her life like that though. her boys needed her.

"there is no timeline. i won't stop looking for him, joyce. i won't." even when they completely exhaust all their search party volunteers and his deputies have to work on other cases, he wasn't going to let joyce byers down by giving up on her son.

he wants to hug her, to hold her close, and tell her everything is going to be okay as a friend and not as the chief of police. but crossing that line between friendship and professionalism during a time like this wasn't the right call. she'd have to be the one to initiate that sort of intimacy. instead he drops his hands from her shoulders and that invisible boundary between them is back up.

[em1e]

what made u guys pick ur url's !

[punchback]

@bigboytm asked: your feet are cold.

they always were, this time of year. joyce could count on it, just like she knew, without any uncertainty, that it'd take twice as long as in the warmer months to heat the cabin; that her car would complain and sputter at least three times before it deigned to start when the temperature dropped below thirty - two. the quilt spread out across the foot of the bed did little to completely keep out the wintry bite in the air — a consequence, she'd learned, of choosing to live out in the sticks — but hopper, arm tucked around her waist, his front flush against her back, always seemed to run hot. always gave off the dependable and untempered warmth of a log fire.

when she craned to look back at him, it was with a glint of appreciation in her eyes. a sense of confidence that, despite his half - drowsy grumbling, he never really minded the way she'd seek him out like this; the way she'd hook an ankle back around his calf, an easy motion driven by a an ingrained, instinctive want to pull him in closer. " yeah, " she murmured: no argument, just a truth he'd never dispute. " and you'll warm me up. "

[bigboytm]

hopper could feel how chilly the air was outside their shared blanket by how cold the tip of his nose was before joyce ever brought her icicles for toes against his calf. a few logs were definitely going to need to be thrown into the fireplace today since it seemed like the ancient radiator in their bedroom was struggling to keep up with the dip in temperature. he didn't mind it though because that meant having joyce hanging on him for warmth majority of the day. his version of heaven on earth.

"oh, am i?" he can't help but grin when he hugs her tighter against him, tangling their legs together further. he then lifted his head to bury his face against her neck to get a little bit of payback with his cold nose against her skin, hoping to hear some sort of protest from her so he can laugh.

[punchback]

a barely audible breath left joyce's throat when jim's mouth descended from the length of her neck: a hitch of a gasp that almost resembled his name. once, the skill he displayed might have been fodder for some offhanded disagreement between them — ammunition that she might have used to wield some harmless remark or other about his habit of leaving a slew of broken hearts at hawkins high.

but now his touch sent a spike of electricity through her; made it easy to forget about home, about the heartache she'd been trying to outrun, about the looming probability that after graduation, it'd never be like this again.

in this moment, hopper was all that existed. him and the glare of the truck's headlights against tree bark; his broad hands on her, and his mouth on her chest, and the blanket that rucked up under her knees when she shifted a little to pull him up for a kiss. it was no escape across county lines on an intercity bus. it was no fantastical tropical paradise. but there was nobody here to shatter the mirage; nothing that could stop what'd already been set in motion.

" is that what you say to all the girls you get back here? " she managed to get out, a teasing murmur against jim's mouth, the hand not braced against the back of his neck moving to shove at the elastic of his waistband, and then slipping beneath. it'd never been like this with lonnie: so fervent, yet so intimate all at once. so secretive — like something fragile that she wanted to hold onto as long as it lasted. " on your back, big boy. "

[bigboytm]

the sounds she was making was more than enough to regain his interest, its presence straining against the fabric of his briefs and his head going slightly dizzy with want.

hopper shook his head slightly at the question, his laugh a low rumble. "you're the only one that drives me this crazy, joyce." in all meanings of the word. she liked to challenge him in a way that was fun and at times did make him feel a little crazy in the best possible way. crazy in love. crazy for her.

crazy out of reach.

with military recruiters circling him like a vultures waiting for roadkill to die and his father threatening to force him into the military at any misstep he took, he wasn't dependable. he couldn't be who she deserved and needed because who knows where he'll be a week or a month after graduation. lonnie didn't deserve her either, which was why he felt no guilt loving her while he could. for kissing her the way he was. for once in his more active than most's sex history, make love instead of fuck. she was the most precious thing in his mostly miserable existence and couldn't put her through the pain of outwardly loving her when he'd eventually have to leave in one way or another. he wanted more than anything to keep his promise of taking her away from hawkins, but managing to save enough money to realistically leave before he ran out of time didn't feel like it was in the cards for them.

before he let his thoughts get in the way of going another round with her, he did as he was told and laid back for her. but not without putting a hand on the back of her neck so he could keep kissing her as with a gentle desperation.

[bigboytm]

tw // mention of childhood abuse stream of consciousness headcanons

After graduating high school 1960, with the war looming in the background, talks of drafting men into service, and no ambition to go to college, he decided to follow in his father’s footsteps and became a police officer. He figured that if he were to get drafted, having that experience under his belt might earn him a better ranking position.

He continues to love Joyce from afar, hating Lonnie’s guts. He knows he’d be better for her, he could take her far away from this hellhole of a town. But unfortunately for people like her and him, it’s hard to hate the people who are supposed to love you. You believe them when they say “I love you”

Except his father never said he loved him. He figured his grandfather never said he loved his father. A cycle that’s as old as time most likely. Despite the abuse he suffered from his father, the little boy he used to be, wanted his acceptance. He wanted his father to be proud of him. Maybe then he would treat him better.

So when he’s drafted into the Vietnam War in 1965 (some of the very first unlucky ones), he doesn’t feel anything. Not for a while at least. He’s already started his drinking problem at this point and bootcamp barely did the trick on keeping him sober.

The horrors that followed are something that he could never forget.

The only good thing to come out of his service was meeting a war photographer (he always did love an artist), who later became his first wife and Sara’s mother. He loved Diane and Sara truly and deeply. The life they lived together in New York City was something he never thought he would deserve.

When he lost Sara and Diane divorced him because he started drinking again, he moved back to Hawkins in 1979 and took his job back with the police. His father had long retired and passed away since, but without his wife and daughter, Hawkins was all he knew.

Joyce was there too. The right person, wrong time. But he could be patient. He waited for her to leave Lonnie for good, but at this point it had been decades since high school and they weren’t as close as they used to be. Until her boy went missing.

[punchback]

@bigboytm asked: you know, i could go another round. or three

" jesus, hopper. " joyce swatted at him gently, a growing smile lighting up her expression in the near absence of light. a wind chill rolled through the coverage of foliage, unhindered by the obscured truck bed of jim's old ride. it was almost exposing, to be half - out of her clothes, out at the precipice of lovers lake; but hopper, laying beside her, seemed to radiate an endless emission of sweat - flecked heat in defiance of everything — even his lack of henley and jeans, only his undershirt and the boxers she'd dragged down his hips still pretending at modesty. unhesitatingly, joyce propped herself up and threw a leg astride him, reaching back behind her to unclasp her bra. " you don't have a curfew? "

that was a question that needed no answer. not when the way jim looked up at her, awe - eyed and eager, was enough on its own to drive home just how badly he wanted this not to come to too premature an end.

the feeling was mutual.

there was no room, here, to think about implications, or the undiscussed lonnie of it all — his cheating, his drinking, the fact that it'd been the third time she'd broken things off in two months. the deep, blown - black - blue of hopper's eyes eclipsed the very idea of lonnie's place in her life: rendered him little more than an ephemeral and repeated mistake, an intrusive and unwelcome memory, but still a regretful blunder joyce couldn't be sure she wouldn't make again somewhere down her dismal, dead - ended road. still, the car crash of reality that loomed over her could never cheapen the lingering sear of jim's lips meandering up her throat, or the care with which he'd held her, or the swell of his renewed excitement poking into her thigh. it didn't make any of it meaningless — it didn't mean it didn't ache, deep behind her ribs, when she pictured being with him instead, not as just some secret fling that they wouldn't talk about until she found herself single again, for another week; not just a postcard - perfect daydream that she'd never have.

[bigboytm]

jim knew going down this path with joyce would only lead to heartbreak for at least one of them. but he couldn't help but be magnetized to her. he could never figure out what it was about lonnie that had such a hold on her. it was something he wasn't mature enough to understand yet. he wouldn't understand it for a long time actually. why she continues to choose lonnie over him. but he's also not really giving her much opportunity to choose him in the first place. he tried to be hard to love, abrasive, anything to keep her away from whatever shitty future he was doomed to live.

jim hopper was a weak man when it came to joyce maldonado though.

it took a single bat of her lashes or unintentional twirl of her hair and he was a dog at her feet--ready and willing to please in nearly any way she asked. his time with her always felt too short, especially times they could get away like this and be alone for hours. when he could kiss and love on joyce the way he yearned for. and in the ways that made her moan his name just right.

"screw my curfew," jim grumbled between kisses on her neck. whatever consequences awaited him were worth another round with his best girl. his only girl at this point. "i could do this all night."

his hands moved to help take her bra off the rest of the way and couldn't help the smile on his face from getting a glimpse of her bare chest because it gave him an idea. a hand moved to cup a breast and keep it steady as he leaned forward to start sucking a mark into the swell of it. a reminder for when he dropped her off at home later.

[punchback]

the head - shake joyce gave was one of wordless refusal; one of nearly complete exhaustion. there was so much she wanted to say, so much conflicting emotion that seemed impossible to sort through when the prevailing feeling wracking her nerves was overwhelming and desperate unease. she wasn't sure she could entirely agree with that: that she hadn't had anything to apologise for. that there'd been no cause for regret, anywhere between the moment she'd watched will bike his way to the wheelers after school and the morning she'd realised, with heart - stopping dread, that he hadn't come home.

it was only when hopper moved away that she finally drew back her balled - up hand, pulling her arm up against her chest as if it might keep something in her safe. like it might make up for the loss of comforting, yet fleeting contact. when she let what was left of her cigarette drop into the ashtray in the middle of the table, it was to stand, on unsteady and unsure feet, not knowing whether to pace to the fridge or her way back to the wall -- still intact. no damage. no claw marks, despite everything

" you'll keep looking in the morning, right? " joyce's pacing, slow as it was, felt aimless, as absentminded as the way she gnawed at her thumbnail. frantic, under the surface, much like the glance she fixed hopper with. " I didn't know he was missing for eight hours, hop. eight hours. "

[bigboytm]

in another universe, he wouldn't have been shipped off to fight some pointless war and he would know how to comfort the woman in front of him. none of this would be happening actually. no tragedy for either of them. the only way he knew how to comfort himself was through beer, pills, and sex but joyce didn't need to follow him down that same path.

he was going to make sure the gravitational pull of his blackhole didn't suck her in. that started with trying to keep her at arms length while doing everything he can to make sure she doesn't have to know what it's like to lose a baby.

he couldn't give her a beach in mexico, but he can give her this.

"first thing in the morning. i promise." and maybe by arms length distance, he meant arms-bent-at-the-elbow length because seeing her pacing like that was all too familiar of a feeling. his long stride took him back in front of her within a blink of an eye, where his hands found her shoulders to stop her from pacing. "joyce, you can't do this to yourself." jim squeezes her shoulders gently, but firmly. "beating yourself up won't bring him home."

[danesdehaan]

@pscentral event 15: favorite ships ↳ joyce byers & jim hopper

well love, i miss you, you know i do but it's the way we say goodbye it kills me now

[bigboytm]

i rly need to write up a s5 rewrite hc post bc basically like none of s5 happened to me

but the tldr of it will be that hopper never strapped a bomb to his chest like a fucking lunatic who would be leaving behind joyce and el for a plan that obviously wasn't going to work. like the hopper on his destructive path shit was resolved in s4. he did not need basically the same character arc twice in a row lmao

also he didn't say any of that psycho shit to el about her having a kid of her own one day lmao

generally, i use s1-2 hopper as my baseline for characterization hehe and a dash of s3 + the first shadow