Hmm

Going to try this out again. Might post my writings and poetry. Might not. Let’s see

[bighugsandfistbumps]

I’ve only been good at two things in life

Failing and disappointing

And I never fail to disappoint

I’ve heard every single counterpoint

I’ve been told that things get better

But the only change is the date from 24 to 25

Just another year I want to die

I guess happiness was always a lie

I don’t really ask for death

just don’t want to be another wasted breath

Like the waste of time I’ve spent on writing this down

But in my head the bad thoughts don’t drown

Ill wake up tomorrow to disappoint & fail

put on a mask and tell the tallest tale

That life is great and all is well

While I secretly sit and dwell

Of that failure of the life I’ve had

And the disappointment I’ve been good at

[bighugsandfistbumps]

I wrote you a letter that you’ll never see

It’s a letter that you could never read

I sometimes look at my phone screen

And re live our lives through the memories

They talk about the golden gates

Or drowning in the dark blue sea

I hope I’m doing you right

Because I don’t know which is meant for me

I would give everything I have

Sometimes all I have is my thoughts

Somedays they tell me “everything is okay”

As of late, they root for it be my last day

You laid there so tough and strong

Lying down was not a place you belong

I remember, it was the first day of fall

When I fell down to river of red leaves

& some were yellow, that flooded the streets

It’s when I got the worst possible news

That hard fought game of life you would lose

Colors all around me but all I knew was the blues

I had to get back up somehow knowing

You never would again

I knew you would want me to get back up in the end

If it’s real, I hope you open the golden gates

When I attend

So I can finally let you read this letter

That says “I would give everything I have for another…

Moment to spend with my dear mother”

[bighugsandfistbumps]

Late night talks with myself are the worst

Will I ever be better or forever be cursed

I wish I knew which would come first

Do you ever wake up and feel so worthless?

Struggle to put on a facade on the surface

Ask yourself if you even have a purpose.

Get through the day in a dark hollow shell

Your emotions spin around like a carousel

I want to shout them out but who could I tell

Do my words ever meet with anyone’s ears?

There’s something I need to get off my chest

But I’ll never say the words my thoughts express

These thoughts in no one I confide

Because somethings are meant to be kept inside

[amarettosweet]

Oops. A stitch.

[bighugsandfistbumps]

Life In A Nutshell

Life is not in a fucking nutshell

It’s on the edge between safe and hell

Well I’ve been safe for too long that I don’t feel saved

And I don’t think I ever will. I couldn’t save you and you could never save me.

There’s got to be more but just not for me.

I’ve met the truth and it’s captor.

And it didn’t set anyone free

Am I able to forget or am I too forgettable

Missing what I never took.

A glance at a better me

Doesn’t exist in the current mind I’m in

That mind ain’t mine and I want mine back

Your words didnt just stick. I repeat them in my head over and over again. Maybe I turned them into my words now. Is there a point or is this all so pointless? Inject me with the thrill of what I seek Some days I wonder if destiny was real Then did destiny just forget about me

[bighugsandfistbumps]

If only you really knew

I tried giving you the world

But you said there was not enough green

A concrete world made of only machine

And that there was too much blue

If only you really knew

The sadness behind these earthy eyes

A constant gloom and dark cloudy skies

It gets white & cold when you’re not around

I guess silence is still a sound

When you come near I feel alive

It’s the only time these old bones thrive

one day I’ll be committed to the dirt

If only you really knew

That this rejection did truly hurt

I miss the warmth that we once had

Now my roots are torn and sad

My fire died, but the embers burn

Not much longer until it’s my turn

Hope one day I’ll be good and tough

Maybe then you’ll look at me as enough

Next time I’ll give you the stars and the moon

& maybe then, you won’t see so much blue

If only you really knew

[love]

By Tori Kelner

[alecsgrg]

[cup-of-teal]

[liasbeans]

Stunning views of Aoraki. 31 December 2020

[tilldeathdousart]

[tilldeathdousart]

[classichorrorblog]

American Psycho Directed by Mary Harron (2000)

[cwote]

i promise it’s worth all of the effort

[dankmemes]

[aestum]

[qrett]