Mine is not a new story.

I'm Rizzle. Awkward for life. I'm not interesting at all. I love taking pictures of everything and I love food and bettas and stuff.  mans drinking games. body, a, a:hover {cursor: url(http://cur.cursors-4u.net/people/peo-3/peo287.cur), progress;}

[bigstrongtoughman]

Can someone reach out to me?

[bigstrongtoughman]

I've officially been @marriedtoadick for a week :) It sucks that our schedules are really conflicting, but I love any little amount of time spent with my dude 💑 Follow my other IG account to keep up with our adventures as a married couple 😉😉

[bigstrongtoughman]

I made a new tumblr.

https://ridiculousramblingrisel.tumblr.com/

This tumblr has a lot of memories. But I feel the need to start fresh.

It’ll be a more personal blog for sure. A lot more writings and ramblings, But with a bunch of reblogs that I like of course.

I want to express myself more. I don’t want to hide my thoughts anymore.

I want my mind to be free.

[bigstrongtoughman]

Our first picture as an official couple. The pumpkin patch. Thanksgiving. Hard Hawaii. St. Germaine's Luau. Valentine's day. A little something from each month we've been together! [March not included] Let me just blabber and gush for a moment. It hasn't been very long at all, but it certainly feels that way. And sometimes I feel silly for already feeling so deeply for you, but I honestly can't help it. And I know that it's true because when I'm with you I feel calm and excited at the same time, when I'm not with you I catch myself smiling at the thought of you, I have no need to question or feel insecure about your love for me, my poems have started to have happy endings, you give me awful nicknames like "bed slug," but they still give me butterflies, and most importantly because your cancer diagnosis only made me realize even more so how much I want us at each other's sides, and you having the slightest thought of me leaving because so was low-key offending. Thank you for showing me what it's like to be in love, it's pretty neat :P Besides only seeing each other like once a week, we honestly haven't had any downs... we have yet to even have our first argument! but through the ups and upper ups (and one day our downs,) I'm lucky to call you mine. I respect you, I trust you, I appreciate you, I love you, my mahal 💑 本当に愛してる。ずっとう一緒にいたい。#半年 #恋人 #ラッキー

[bigstrongtoughman]

Happy birthday to my favourite dude! Now you're 22 and I'm 20, too :) Thank you for always making me incredibly happy despite our different lifestyles and our only being able to see each other only like once a week. You're the best 😘 今日は彼氏の誕生日だよ！二十二歳になった~私もに十歳。。それを英語の冗談だ 笑 分かるかなあ。週間に一回しか会えないから、ちょっと寂しいけど、一緒にいる時のは私が本当に嬉しい。マイカルを愛してる💕

[bigstrongtoughman]

For a moment I was in Japan, And we were doing our own things, And though we were far apart, Only closer did it bring, Us together, I like the way that sounds, And I hope you don't mind me asking, For you to stick around. A year will come, and then you'll go, But I must stay, I cannot follow. But until the day you leave until that moment is here, I'll hold you close, I'll hold you near. My dear. Tbh, I was pretty surprised we made it through my time in Japan. That was a definitely a stretch of time, but it seemed to have worked out and I'm super glad it did :) マイカルの顔を見るたびに嬉しくなる~ マイカルは私を幸せにしてくれる :P でも、一年間後、マイカルは遠いところに引っ越す :( 寂しい~ (at Waimano Falls Trail)

[bigstrongtoughman]

If you haven’t noticed by now, I don’t write love poems. Or ones with happy endings anyway. It’s always about lost love or something of that sort, basically love that never worked out. And let me tell you why. Because one time I did. One time, for the first and last time, words about him fluently flowed flawlessly.  And let me just tell you now. You never get the guy, or you never get the girl. I remember when I showed it to him, with my eyes gleaming, with my heart on my sleeve. Would he notice all my allusions and alliterations, from him, my afflatus? No. He didn’t. A forced smile on his face, and an obligatory kiss on the cheek. To him, just written words, to me an intricate story. But it’s my fault you know, to expect something from somebody. But I don’t do that anymore. I wrote a love poem with a happy ending once. But what do I have to show for it? My eyes are dull and I wear sleeveless.

[bigstrongtoughman]

I saw you for the first time since. And I saw the way you looked at me. I bet you regret it don’t you. But I bet you regret telling me more than you regret doing what you did. In a simple second of saltiness, you told me what I’m pretty sure was something you promised yourself you never would. But in that moment, all you wanted to do was hurt me. And you did.  You. Hurt. Me. More than you’ve ever done.  But who really lost there? Deep down you know that maybe if I had never known, maybe if you had just composed yourself for a few more seconds, then maybe, just maybe, I would’ve came back. Like you always thought I would, like you always wanted. But now, I never will. Now, I will always be the one that got away. But to be honest, sometimes I wish I never knew. Sometimes I wish I could just forget those four words you spat out in spite. Living in an ignorant blissful reality isn’t so bad is it? As long as I’m happy? But look at me now. I’m doing so well now. Do you see me glowing? Because I feel me glowing.

[bigstrongtoughman]

I haven’t been updating on MD.

Not that anyone really cares, it’s more of a personal thing :P

But it was really funny on Saturday night bc we were having dinner at his friends house, and well it doesn’t take me too much to get drunk, Small asian h0lla.

And on our way home, I’m just giddy and talkative, or in his words “bubbly,” but he’s just there yawning away.

So we get back to his place and he’s ready for bed, and I’m just begging him to stay up and entertain me.

I had so much energy and just refuse to sleep, and he’s just begging me to sleep,

So.

What this motherfucker does,

is seduce me.

He starts kissing me, But I try to escape. But come on now, Of course I actually want to kiss him. I just know what his intentions were and I was not having it.

Long story short. He seduces me. He wears me out. I’m left with no energy. And he’s happy with an orgasm and finally a cuddle buddy.

I was a little upset.

But who am I to complain, My dude is great in bed. Both sexually, And innocently. I absolutely love his cuddles. Not his lawnmower snores tho.

[bigstrongtoughman]

Attention The Fray Fans.

Please please help me out. I can’t seem to find a copy of 

how to save a life; webster hall edition

ANYWHERE online. And ya’ll know that’s one of the best versions of the song. I had it on my old computer, but that’s dead now.

I need that version in my life, But the youtube video got taken down.

Please please please if you have it on your computer and know where to get it, please message me and let me know where to get it.

[bigstrongtoughman]

I am so smitten with Michel it’s ridiculous. Can the honeymoon phase last forever?

[jeesuznuts-deactivated20161011]

Suicide Squad: *joker uses torture method on harley quinn* *joker asks if she would live for him* *joker makes harley quinn jump into some boiling oil shit* *joker refers to her as the itch in his crotch*

Straight People: OMG 😍😍😍 couple goals 💖 When he’s as Crazy as u are 😍🌹💖🔪

Me: ??¿?????¿¿¿

[amyfarrahs-deactivated20161015]

[bigstrongtoughman]

I get to see Michel tomorrow :) 

This seriously feels like the longest week ever. Haven’t seen him in like 1.5 weeks.

And this will be my first time seeing him after he told me that he liked me. He’s such a lame-o and told me through text while he was drunk.

But nonetheless, I’m excited to see how we’ll be around each other now that our mutual liking of each other is up in the air!

I hope we have our first kiss tomorrow!

[bigstrongtoughman]

Guys. I’m really excited about this one. He’s a good one, I know it.

Other guys I’ve been on dates with, As much as I have fun with them... It’s just that I don’t trust them. And I get it that I just met them and it takes time.

But after being cheated on, It’s just on the back of my mind with every guy. You never really know.

But I trust this one. I really do.

Maybe it’s because we’ve been on and off talking since November. So I have something more to judge him by. But he just gives off a good vibe.

He’s not going to hurt me intentionally. But if things continue the way it’s going...

It might just break my heart to see him leave when his duty station time in Hawaii is over and he needs to relocate. It’s in about a year.

I mean is it even worth it? Is a year long enough time to even consider long distance?

Should I just end it while it is and avoid future hurt?

I don’t know what to do

[francisfordfiesta-deactivated20]

“we almost dated” is such a weird relationship to have with someone

[whomst-the-fck-asked]

Plus the sequel “we never got closure”

And then the side adaptation “as a result I have a weird crush that never died”

[bigstrongtoughman]

Wowow I’m super excited to go to this event. I won’t say what it is just yet. Just that I’ve been wanting to go to one for a while now!

I just hope everything works out.

Maybe things are finally going my way :)