He’s Just Silly Goofy Okay

Nat, 30 she/they. Where I can freely thirst and reblog fics and shit. MDNI pls

[bihanspookies]

About Me

Requests: CLOSED

Hi I’m Nat, 29 ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I do my best to make the reader fics as gender neutral as possible unless a request would like specifics!!

I can’t think of anything else bc I’m bad at intros but feel free to message!!

OC Masterlist

Masterlist under cut!

Masterlist

Mortal Kombat:

Bi-Han

Johnny Cage

Kabal

Kano

Kenshi

Kuai Liang

Kung Lao

Liu Kang

Quan Chi

Raiden

Smoke

Dumb Posts:

Havik Gray Hairs Appreciation Post

Rain Nose Appreciation Post

Reiko Nose Appreciation Post

Why’s It In A Cage

︵‿ ⊹ ︵‿୨ ♡ ୧‿︵ ⊹ ‿︵

COD:

Gaz

Ghost

Graves

Price

Soap

︵‿ ⊹ ︵‿୨ ♡ ୧‿︵ ⊹ ‿︵

JJK:

Choso

Geto

Gojo

Ino

Nanami

Sukuna

︵‿ ⊹ ︵‿୨ ♡ ୧‿︵ ⊹ ‿︵

Tekken:

Anna Williams

Claudio Serafino

Devil Jin

Hwoarang

Jin Kazama

Kazuya Mishima

Lars Alexandersson

Steve Fox

Victor Chevalier

︵‿ ⊹ ︵‿୨ ♡ ୧‿︵ ⊹ ‿︵

[katelynnmurphy]

Summary: I am also still a bit weary about sharing my writing—though I've written over ten thousand words so far!—to tumblr, so have this moodboard for Chapter 1 😊 Thank you for the tags @lilywatt @meatgrinderminefield, and @imogenkol 💕

Tag List

@apepthehero @bi-force-1 @imogenkol @euryalex @inafieldofdaisies @g0dspeeed @socially-awkward-skeleton @chewbokachoi @amoaliquis @voidika @etherealada05 @meatgrinderminefield @omkdear @advictoriams @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @wyllravengards @roofgeese @statichvm

[bihanspookies]

SPOILERS FOR KAGURABACHI SO DIA DONT LOOK 🫵🫵🫵

But what if Chiaki is still alive and is still living with the Soga clan. Kunishige took Chihiro bc that’s what they thought was best.

And also does she know Kunishige is dead?? She has to right, it’s been 2 years

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

18+ clark kent being verbal

fem! reader, mdni. 1k words. cw: soft dom clark, reader's in a submissive mood, he's a big talker, lots of praise, pinned hands, general filth

Clark's deceptive. the filth of his mouth unlike the sweetness you see in his eyes. it can be misleading to hear such dirty words come from a face so pretty — you almost wouldn't expect it. and if you weren't on the receiving end, you'd never actually believe it to be true.

he's above you; on his knees between your spread thighs, the hefty weight of his dick in the expanse of his hand. his eyes remain locked on you below as he fluffs up his chubbed-up cock, gaze observing the visually pornographic, bound sight of you beneath him.

while one hand is occupied around his considerably endowed cock, the other is encompassing either of your wrists — each one held above your head. the weight of his hold pushes the backs of your hands into the mattress so firmly that you can't wriggle and writhe from his grip. not that you'd want to. you're exactly where you want to be.

there are shades within clark, some darker than others — parts of him far more wicked. like there's a switch within him, a button inside him he can turn on and off whenever it's of need. as if it's a way he can attune to you, coordinate himself to the ways you may need him. so the idea of roles, are futile, meaningless to him; he finds there's no need. 

a real go with the flow kind of guy.

there are times you may want to lead, take over and use him like your personal fuck toy — though there are others, like tonight where you just want to be laid under his will, mind off, body accessible for him to take advantage of. dotingly, of course.

and he knows exactly how to do that, what to say in order to get you there. like he knows your mind, rather than just your body. 

"tell me what you need," he hums above you, voice like a dulcet husk. 

his blue eyes are heavy as they roam over you below, gaze almost sauntering over your wanting expression. and it's then your lips part and chests rises — each a direct response when you feel the tip of his cock nudge against your cunt. like it was a sort of provocation, a way to coax a reply from you. 

and so he does it again, tapping his swollen, reddened head against the slick sheen of mess he had already made of your cunt. clark swirls it at your sensitive clit, motion slow and controlled.

"tell me, sweet girl," he repeats his last ask, tone a decibel lower than before.

you swallow hard, doing so like it hurt. the centre of your brows involuntarily curl inwards as you murmur rather pathetically. pitifully even.

"you."

"yeah?" he hums, word short but enthused. 

it was rhetorical. he wasn't expecting a fleshed out, sensical response — not when he can so clearly see you struggling with the limited capacity in your brain. that 'you' was enough for him right now, he won't push it.

and so with the head of his dick that he winds around your clit, he lowers it, directing it to the ache he knew you had. he's deliberate and intentional as he taps at your entrance, prodding and provoking it like he couldn't quite help it. you grow antsy, cunt clamping on absence that you greet his thick tip with kisses, pussy seemingly with a mind of it's own.

your expression grows pained beneath him, face sort of scrunching. you were becoming increasingly more impatient, uncomfortable with the need that pulsed in your cunt. the sort of pleading look in your face is met with a mock-like nod, the motion of his head slow and controlled — like he was entertaining you.

"I know," he utters, amused frown splayed on his face.

he circles his head again, and again, and it's then after all that prior teasing that he finally feeds himself into you, cock easing in nice and slow. 

"you can take it," he encourages, lip bitten. he swallows thickly and he shakes his head, the dual act like a desperate claw for his own control. "that's it. there we go," he adds airily, sinking more of himself into you; pushing in his entirely until his balls squish up against your pussy's lips.

you gasp and you instinctively turn aside, face almost buried in the uppers of your arms that are held above your head.

with his cock lodged in you comfortably, he lowers over you slightly and places the hand from his dick to the underside of your chin. he doesn't redirect it, he waits for you to do it on your own accord — for you to follow willingly.

"don't hide, I wanna see your face," he hums, voice a foots distance from you.

you do as asked of you and when you peer up at him above you, you're met with a soft boyish grin. one that was equal parts pleased and proud.

"there we go," he lowers, lips ghosting yours a moment — teasing you with a kiss he won't yet place. "I love how you listen."

it's in that exact moment, that he winds into you like it was a reward; cock reaching in and pulling a gasp from out your throat. it was like he wanted to taste it on his tongue, swallow the lewd noise you couldn't quite contain. 

the hand he has cupped under your chin, slips off to the side of your face. he holds the weight of it, grip carefully controlled as if to keep it in place; keep you looking up at him.

"you're so beautiful when you take it."

his sporadic, occasional thrusts build, and it's soon that a system of grinds fall into place. each one furthering the spread of gratification in your cunt, every single wind making you struggle that much more for a full, satisfying breath. 

the entirety of you is in his hands, at his utter mercy. and you wouldn't have it any other way.

⎯ ☆ ⎯

[luvlypresley]

first kiss with jason todd

jason doesn’t tell you where you’re going.

“that’s not concerning at all,” you say as he leads you up a narrow stairwell.

“if i was gonna kidnap you, i wouldn’t warn you,” he mutters.

“great. that’s reassuring.”

he snorts, but there’s a tiny smile pulling at his mouth.

when he pushes open the rooftop door, cool evening air greets you. the city stretches out around you, lights blinking on as the sky deepens into indigo.

and there, set up near the ledge, is a small projector screen. a couple of mismatched folding chairs. blankets. a paper bag that definitely smells like takeout.

you blink.

“…you did all this?”

jason shrugs like it’s nothing, but his ears are red. “it’s not a big deal.”

it is, though.

there are string lights taped along the low wall. a portable speaker humming softly. he even picked a movie you once mentioned loving in passing.

“you remembered,” you say quietly.

he avoids your eyes. “you talk a lot.”

you step closer. “you listen a lot.”

he looks at you like he’s trying to decide if you’re teasing him.

you’re not.

you sit side by side on the blankets instead of the chairs. closer that way. knees touching. shoulders brushing every time one of you shifts.

the movie starts, but neither of you are really watching.

you’re aware of him in every small way.

the warmth of his arm near yours. the way his thigh presses against yours when he stretches his legs out. the quiet rhythm of his breathing when he laughs softly at a scene.

halfway through, a breeze kicks up. you shiver.

jason notices immediately.

without a word, he reaches for the extra blanket and drapes it over your shoulders. his hand lingers for a second at the back of your neck.

“cold?” he asks.

“little bit.”

he hesitates.

then, slowly, like he’s giving you time to stop him, he slides his arm around your shoulders.

you don’t.

in fact, you lean into him.

that tiny shift makes him go still for a second before relaxing.

“better?” he murmurs.

“yeah.”

your head rests lightly against his shoulder.

the movie fades into background noise. the city hums around you.

his hand, the one around your shoulder, slowly traces absentminded circles against your upper arm.

you tilt your face up slightly to look at him.

he’s already looking at you.

not at the screen. at you.

the string lights reflect softly in his eyes.

“you’re not watching the movie,” you whisper.

“neither are you.”

“true.”

you both pause, to just stare at eachother.

“you good?” he asks softly.

you nod. “yeah.”

his gaze drops to your mouth.

he doesn’t hide it this time.

“you’re thinking really loud,” you murmur.

he exhales slowly. “i don’t wanna assume.”

“you don’t have to.”

that’s it.

that’s the permission.

jason lifts his free hand, brushing his knuckles lightly along your jaw before cupping your cheek. he moves slower than he probably moves in anything else in his life.

deliberate. careful.

“tell me if you want me to stop,” he says quietly.

his thumb grazes your cheek once.

then he leans in.

the first touch of his lips is gentle. almost tentative. like he’s memorizing the feeling.

you melt into it immediately, hand coming up to grip lightly at the front of his shirt.

that soft sound he makes? you feel it more than you hear it.

the kiss deepens gradually. not rushed. just building. his arm around you pulls you closer, your body fitting against his under the blanket.

it’s warm. slow. a little breathless.

when he tilts his head slightly and kisses you again, more sure this time, it feels like he’s finally letting himself have something he’s been holding back.

your fingers slide into his hair.

he exhales sharply against your mouth at that, grip tightening just slightly at your waist.

when you finally pull back, it’s only because you need air.

your foreheads rest together.

the movie is still playing behind you, completely forgotten.

“…okay,” he breathes.

you smile softly. “okay?”

he huffs a quiet laugh. “yeah. that was—” he shakes his head faintly. “yeah.”

you press one quick, soft kiss to his lips again, just because you can now.

this time, he smiles into it.

the city lights flicker below. the string lights glow warm around you.

and jason doesn’t let go of you for the rest of the night.

so i finally wrote something for this series 😭 pls send in ideas tho im lowk ass at brainstorming

©luvlypresley2026 - do not translate or copy in any way. ˗ˏˋ ✉ - @i-gotta-go-so-much-bigger, @malewifefckr, @batmilani, @justanormalpersin, @pinkprincess-bunny, @batslilwhore, @j-blackout8, @foivetimesacharm, @vanillakirstein, @ablondehoe, @soggywhore, @maxcalore3

[bihanspookies]

Help the dc (batman) hyperfixation has me reading the comics and rn im on banes and fleshing out an oc 🫶

[bleuesupes]

only you ! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

includes! dick grayson x reader, smut, making love, classic nightwing through the window, afab reader, dick’s a cutie, dick is very vocal, p in v, cunnilingus, comedic ending?, mdni.

part of my dog parents!dick x reader

wc: 3.5k

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

You sink deeper into the comfort of your blankets and pillows wrapped together beneath your frame, your eyelids heavy with sleep as you try to pay attention to the movie playing on your phone screen. Tonight was supposed to be your "self care, romanticised Friday afternoon" with the hot tea, blankets, movie on the couch—and of course, the handsome boyfriend at your side. Starting at the top of the list, you just ran out of your favourite tea. The blankets were a check. But then came the movie on the couch.

Unfortunately for you, the world's largest dog and the world's most 'follow-fashion' dog were relentless with their hogging of the couches. Yes, couches. Plural. If you sat in one, they found the need to sit on top of you. Which, usually, would be fine. But c'mon. One dog was heavy enough. Both of them—it's best you found yourself in the gym wrapped in a weighted blanket.

Which puts you in your current position: no tea, no boyfriend, yes to the blankets and a movie on the tiny screen of your phone—that, if we're being honest, is watching you more than you're watching it.

You subconsciously wrap your arms around your largest pillow as if it were a person, slinging your thigh across it for extra comfort. Times like this, you really miss your personal heater, aka Dick Grayson. Your vision fades to black for a quick moment before the unique ding! of your boyfriend’s message startles you awake. Speak of the devil. You hold your phone awfully close to your face and squint against the light in an attempt to make out the words.

[1 new message 2:03 a.m.]

Dick ! : Hey baby, I'm back early. Are you still awake ?

The words distort in your mind for a second, your eyes still glazed over with sleep. You rub them once, twice— just to be sure you’re seeing the message right.

Dick had been off in Bludhaven's lovely neighbour, Gotham for about three days now. He doesn't typically leave the city without him for so long, so you assumed it was something insanely important when he said he'll be gone for a few days. Usually, Dick overestimates the time he'll be gone—but wow, he was about three days early... not that you're complaining, of course.

You hurriedly type back, certain that your response elicits the same reaction from him as his did from you. After all, it’s a rare occurrence that he messages you at this hour and you’re still awake. Well— kind of.

you: Erm yah why? Wabba come iber?

Dick ! : … so much for awake

You scoff at the screen, rolling over onto your other side.

you: I am awake. Mh fingers are just freezing off over here.

Dick ! : Hmmmmm.... I’ll be there in five. Y’know… to warm up your fingers ;)

you: use the window. The pups r asleep outside.

read 2:07 am

Resting your phone down on the nightstand, you tuck yourself deeper into the blankets, swearing that you’re only resting your eyes.

The next thing you know, you’re being woken up by the soft slide of the window above your bed head. “Hey baby.” You mumble, voice covered under all the fuzzy fabric. You lazily open your eyes to your boyfriend stretching out of his blue and black costume, muscles swollen from his most recent swinging around.

“Hey.” he replies softly, kicking off his boots neatly into a corner. Despite the lack of light in the room, the contours of his body manage to catch your attention regardless. Your eyes linger on his chest, abs and Adonis’ belt practically inviting you to something a little lower down. If you had any energy left in you, you’d surely be jumping his bones by now.

“No injuries today?” You lift the blanket up next to you for Dick to crawl under. And shit, the way he looks on all fours— even for that split second, sends heat rushing downwards. Who are you kidding, you’ve probably already drenched your underwear. But no. Don’t be selfish. Your boyfriend just came back from fighting crime and keeping a whole other city safe. He’s sore and tired in places you’ve never been. He deserves a rest... But all you could think about was ripping his underwear off with your teeth.

Where did your sleepiness from two seconds ago go?

“Mmm, none to talk about.” Dick collapses against your body, holding your waist tight against his chest. His breath tickles your collarbone as he speaks, “haven’t seen you all week baby.” He pushes the strap of your night shirt to the side, leaving lazy kisses in his wake as he moves across your collarbones, chest and shoulders. “Missed you… sooo much…” he makes his way up to your neck, kissing every inch of skin made available to him.

“I missed you too, baby.” You murmur against his hair, running your hands over his neck and shoulders in soothing circles. He buries his face into the crook of your neck and practically moans. “Missed your scent… mmph—you smell so good.” Dick’s words are punctuated with a deep roll of his hips against yours. Your fingers stop their administrations in his hair.

Okay, so it’s not just you feeling incredibly hot and bothered... Good to know.

“Dick, are you sure? Aren’t you tired, baby?” You search for his face in the dark, tenderly cupping him in your hands. You can’t see him all that well, given the only light present is the dim glow from your years old night light and the overcast moon, but you can feel the warmth radiating off his face. You can only imagine the expression he's making.

You feel him nod eagerly against your palms. “Missed you so much…” he takes the insides of your hands, planting a delicate, feathery kiss on each one. “mm…wanna feel you.” Dick breaks past your arms to find his place back under your chin, nipping at the skin of your neck, the sides of your face until he reaches back to your lips. He plants a hand under your neck as if to ground you as he oh, so tenderly connects your mouths together.

You part your lips slightly and Dick doesn't miss a beat. He takes the opportunity, gingerly pushing his tongue into your mouth, meeting yours in a gentle dance.

It doesn’t take long for you to find a rhythm against him, your lips and tongues moving in practiced tandem with one another. The noises Dick makes against your bottom lip teeter on downright pathetic, whimpers and groans vibrating against the swollen fat of your lips. “baby, —ohh f-uck… mmph—!” he moans, obscenely in sync with the ruts of his hips against yours.

By now, your hips have long hiked up against his as he practically holds you in his lap, pressing you into the mattress. In all of your careless administrations, the blankets have left your top halves bare to freeze in the December air, covering only where your legs and groins meet. His hands roam every piece of your skin, as if he’s trying to dedicate every curve, edge and imperfection of your body to memory. With the way he’s going, you won’t doubt that he already has.

Wordlessly, Dick slips a hand down your sleep bottoms, tugging them off, along with your damp underwear. Before you can react to what’s happening, his head slips under the covers and you immediately feel the soft plush of his lips against your folds in all of its slick glory. He hovers over your bundle of nerves for a second, almost as if to warn you. Then, he presses against you, messily making out with your throbbing clit. A loud gasp escapes your throat before you can stop it. “Dick—!”

Your hands frantically search for his curls under the sheets, blindly gripping until you feel his scalp under your nails. Dick pulls you down hard against his face, gripping your thighs with both his arms. With the way he switches between flicking his tongue against your clit and hollowing out his cheeks around your heat, sucking it in like a man starved—you’re not sure whether to pry him off or pull him closer.

Only a mentally unsound person would ever think of the first option.

“Yeah,—aah—ah, baby…Right there!” You moan out, grinding your hips up against his face. You don’t think he can make you feel any better than he is right now. But when he spreads you wide open and adjusts the angle of his head against you, his nose bumps against your clit— and you’re gone.

The sounds Dick makes against your folds are explicitly nasty. “Mhmmphh—! C’mon… wanna feel you come on my face… on my tongue... please baby…” The way he begs makes your legs go weak.

With the way you fight against his grip to lock your thighs around his head, he knows you’re close. Dick’s moans send vibrations straight to your core and you can feel your release drawing closer with each prod of his tongue against you.

“Let me have it, baby. That’s it…” Dick urges, two fingers now shoved deep into your heat, reaching places you never could on your own. Long digits bully into your gummy walls as his tongue continues to busy itself on your clit. Your body writhes under his touch as he holds you firm to the mattress. With a final, hard suck against your clit, you come undone all over your boyfriend’s face, head falling limply onto the pillows. You ride out your high, mindlessly grinding against his face whilst he greedily drinks up every last drop of your orgasm.

By the time he rises from beneath the covers, you’re drenched in sweat, eyes heavy and muscles twitching from how good he's done between your legs. Not even the near pitch black stops the way the tiny nightlight catches the slick of your release on his chin and bottom lip. The same bottom lip that he takes between his teeth not a second later, smiling proudly at you. “I missed doing that.” He sighs triumphantly.

“I bet you did.” You say between breaths, closing your legs in an attempt to stop them from shaking.

“—Buttt, there’s something I missed a little bit more…” Dick drops onto his side next to you and in one smooth movement, flips you onto your side so that he’s now pressed up behind you. From this new angle, you feel everything. The way his chest presses against the bare parts of your back, the way his hands slide under your shirt to fondle your mounds and tug at your pebbled nipples. The way his breath fans against your ear and, the hardness poking at your inner thighs tells you exactly how he’s feeling.

In an almost effortless motion, Dick pulls his briefs down just enough for his hard cock to spring up, slapping against the dip of your back. He moans when the cold air hits him, cock twitching with excitement. “You have no idea how much I thought about this.” He adjusts himself just so he’s in line with your entrance and hooks one of your legs in his arm, spreading you wide open for him. “Is this okay?” He murmurs in your ear, leaving open mouthed kisses wherever his lips brush against.

You hum out a sound of approval as his tip grazes against your folds, causing you to flutter against nothing. Dick hears the noises you make and— of course, decides it’s a good time to tease you. He rubs his length along your slit painfully slow, taking pleasure in the way you writhe against him.

“Dick, hurry up.” tired of his teasing, you whine, thrusting your hips back onto him. He lets out a chuckle, his face now practically ontop of yours. “‘M sorry baby, I know, I know…” he kisses your cheek sweetly as he pushes into you. You moan at the intrusion and the delicious stretch that comes with it.

With a sharp snap of his hips, he bottoms out. “Ohh— fuckk… yeah, baby.” Dick moans against your cheek, starting a steady pace inside of you. The room quickly fills with the plap! plap! plap! of skin on skin and the sound of shuffling sheets.

“Ah-! Ah, Dick!” You yelp as he lifts your leg higher, the new angle feeling almost too good. His other hand snakes under your waist and tugs you flush against his chest. “You— fuck… you feel so good… so warm…” Dick tucks his head into your shoulder, nibbling and biting on the soft skin. The hand that once rested on your waist now moves lower to rub tight circles against your clit. Your legs threaten to close in at his touch, mindlessly fighting his grip against the plush of your thigh.

You feel him press impossibly further into you with every thrust, milking every moan and whimper from your lips. You sense the familiar knot forming in your lower abdomen, threatening to come undone so soon. "Dick, i—" "I know, baby. I know." He shushes you, kissing your tears away as if he's not the one who's relentlessly pounding into you from behind.

Feeling you tighten around him, Dick picks up his pace, intent on coming undone with you. His moans grow ever louder with his thrusts. An endless string of hah! ah! nghh—baby! fuckk... fills your ears, spuring you on even more. The way his thighs slap against yours hurt so good, you almost feel embarrassed for liking it... almost.

His hips stutter against yours and you take that as your cue. You grab his face from behind, twisting your head to kiss him hard. He mewls at the unexpected contact, dropping your leg and pressing all his weight onto you.

The feeling of him filling you up is euphoric, so much so, that it's enough to have you come undone soon after.

Your orgasm wracks through your body, pulsing walls milking Dick for all he's worth. He mindlessly ruts against you, his length throbbing against your walls. "I missed you..." He whispers against your lips.

"I know." You breathe him in for the first time in a whole three days. "And..." he prompts, placing his lips against yours. Not kissing you, just letting you feel the weight of him on you. "And..." Your voice comes out muffled from his face so close to yours.

"Some people don't get this needy after only three days." you finish. Dick rises off you with a gasp so fake, he could give soap opera stars a run for their money. The movement makes his release spill out of you a little. You groan at the loss. "How dare you! No... I make the effort to come in through your window and make the sweetest love to ever love to you— and this is how I'm repaid. With pure, unbridled judgement... I see how it is..."

You chuckle at his performance, "Oh, come here you." You flip him over to lay flat on top of his frame. He playfully throws you off of him, "Ugh, ungrateful. Just ungrateful." He swats your hands away from his chest.

"Romance in this modern world is so dead... We're doomed." Dick flails an arm over his eyes and drops dramatically onto the pillow under him.

Before you can respond, a mischievous smirk finds its way onto his face as he pulls you swiftly into his grasp, along with the covers, effectively wrapping you two into a naked human burrito. "Gosh, I missed you." he plants kisses all across your face, nibbling on some parts. You quietly squeal at his attack on your skin, trying to wriggle away from him—futile in your current state. "Only you can manage to say so many I missed you's in an hour. Only you, Dick."

"Well, I did miss yo—" Before Dick can finish his sentence, a scraping comes at your door, along with an incessant rattling of the handle. Dick, rather foolishly, tries to undo the burrito he's put you both in. "Shit, shit—!" You manage to wriggle out before him, wondering if you should start putting on the blue and black spandex instead.

Suddenly, the door is slammed open and a barrage of…dogs rush in. Two to be exact. Your dog barks like the room is on fire, Haley following suit like a dog-in-training. Your guard dog sees the movement of Dick against the blankets and charges in, no thought. Before any of you can react, the goliath you call a pet covers the distance from the door to the bed in no time, chomping down on the end of the blanket and viciously tugging. "OH-! OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!" Dick yelps, trying to pry the blanket away—and failing.

You make an attempt to jump in-between the two of them but your dog is quicker. He jumps onto the bed in one leap and lands straight on your boyfriend's no-no square. With a pained cry, Dick's upper body jolts forward and you wince for him. Your dog is practically barking and growling in Dick's face, but he doesn't know what to focus on—the fact that he's about to be mauled to death in his birthday suit or the possibility of having permanent erectile dysfunction.

All of your efforts to pry your dog off falls on deaf ears but somehow, just somehow... the yelp of a little Haley manages to stop your dog in its tracks. After being caught up in the heat of the moment, Haley comes to recognise the mass on your bed as none other than her owner. She gives a single tug to your dog’s tail and he immediately stops and turns around.

For a second, you think you've died from a heart attack and gone to a fairy tale world where fables of talking animals are real because the way Haley's barking and yipping, its almost as if she's lecturing your dog. The mammoth, after a few, steps off the bed and Haley takes his place, licking at Dick's pained expression. "How can he open doors?!"

"I don't know!"

"Ohhhh my goshhhh..." Dick groans, maybe he should have really used the front door.

Your dog mewls and you suddenly remember your company, "Out, out!" You shoo your dog and Haley out of the room. Both of them look at you dejectedly. Your dog comes up to the end of your bed, prodding you with his snout. "You did a very good job, buddy... just... not him okay?" you know he doesn't understand you, but the face he's making—you just can't bring yourself to shout. Wordlessly, the dogs make their way to the doorway.

"And close it!" Dick shouts after his attacker.

At this point, you're sure you're seeing things because your dog goes near perfectly up on two legs, grabs the handle with his paw and backs up until it closes shut. In your moment of both awe and confusion, you forget about your almost-mauled-boyfriend.

You're not quite sure how to comfort your doubled over lover. Do you, rub it for him? "Baby... are you okay...?" your hands hover over his shoulders. You shouldn't laugh, you really shouldn't, but you just can't fight it.

After a few gasps, he turns his head to you dramatically slow. "Your dog stepped on my no-no... And he almost killed me!"

"I like how that's the first thing you choose to focus on."

"Yeah well, that's what hurts right now, okay?" He breathes out, still doubled over.

You really shouldn't joke at a time like this, but you just can't help yourself. Sometimes the joke just writes itself. "Would you like me to rub it for you?"

"Don't tempt me."

If you had a penny for every time you thought your boyfriend would die at the jaws of your dog, you'd have two pennies. Not a lot, but weird that it happened twice.

⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

a/n: first time writing smut. sorry if its disconnected everyone. have a good day/night!! for context on where the reader’s dog came from— read “doggy daycare” located in my masterlist! apologies if dick’s a bit ooc in this…

ps: if I keep writing the reader’s dog I think he should have a name… any ideas ;( ?

[silverlullabies]

Lightning Strikes Twice

The data indicating the average person experiences 3.4 attacks annually is misleading. You- who seem to find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time several times a month- represents a significant deviation from the norm and should not be counted in the dataset.

(Seriously, if there was a punch card for civilian endangerment, you'd have earned a free mug and a commemorative sticker by now)

Or; in which Nightwing accidentally develops feelings for the anxious woman whose rescue has become part of his regular nightly routine by this point.

10.7k words

It’s a Tuesday and there’s a gun pressed against your spine.

Tuesday has always been the worst day of the week in your opinion- past the motivation of Monday, too far from the relief of Friday, just existing in this pathetic middle ground of mundane awfulness. And now, apparently, Tuesday has decided to really live up to its terrible reputation.

“Don’t move,” a voice hisses behind you, and you can smell stale cigarettes and alcohol. “Empty your account. All of it.”

You’re at the ATM on the corner of 23rd and Hayes, the one you’ve used a hundred times because it’s on your route home from your soul crushing data entry job. The street is unusually empty for 9 pm, but that’s Bludhaven for you; people have finally started learning not to be out after dark.

Everyone except you, apparently, because you’re an idiot who needed cash for the laundromat.

“I have forty three dollars in checking,” you say flatly, finger hovering over the keypad. “And maybe twelve in savings. You’re really not making out well on this transaction.”

“Just do it!” The gun digs harder into your back, right between your shoulder blades.

Of course this is how you die. Not in some heroic way, not peacefully in your sleep at ninety- no, you’re going to get shot at an ATM on a Tuesday because you needed quarters. The universe has always had a sick sense of humor when it comes to your life.

You press the button for withdrawal from checking. “You know, statistically, you’d make more money just getting a minimum wage job. Even after taxes- ”

“Shut up!”

“I’m just saying, this is really inefficient- ”

You don’t get to finish your observation about the economics of street crime because suddenly the weight of the gun disappears from your back and there’s a crash behind you. You spin around- stupid, you should run, but curiosity has always been your fatal flaw- and watch as a blur of black and blue slams your would be mugger into the brick wall of the bodega next to the ATM.

The man crumples. The gun skitters across the pavement. And standing there, illuminated by the flickering streetlight and the harsh glow of the ATM screen, is Nightwing.

You’ve seen him on the news, obviously. Everyone in Bludhaven has. The cops hate him, the people love him, and the criminals fear him. He’s all lean muscle and acrobatic grace, his suit highlighting a body that’s been honed into a weapon. The blue bird across his chest seems to shimmer as he moves, and his escrima sticks hang from his hands like they’re extensions of his arms.

He turns to you, and even though you can’t see his eyes behind the domino mask, you can feel the weight of his gaze.

“You okay?” His voice is different than you expected; younger, with an edge of genuine concern that seems almost out of place on someone who just took down an armed mugger in three seconds flat.

You blink at him. “That depends on your definition of okay. Physically unharmed? Yes. Emotionally scarred by yet another reminder that the universe is chaotic and uncaring? Also yes.”

There’s a pause. You think you see his lips twitch.

“That’s… pretty specific.”

“I’m a pessimist. We’re detailed oriented.” You glance at the mugger, who’s groaning on the ground. “Is he going to need an ambulance, or just a therapist after you’re done with him?”

Now he definitely smiles. “Little of both, probably. You should get out of here. I’ll wait with him until BCPD shows up.”

“Right. Because the Bludhaven PD is so reliable and not at all corrupt.” But you’re already grabbing your card from the ATM, which, miraculously, still dispensed your pathetic forty dollars. “Thanks for the rescue, I guess. Even though I probably would have just given him the money and filed a police report that would go nowhere.”

“You guess?” He sounds amused now.

You shrug, stuffing the cash in your pocket. “I mean, appreciate the help and all, but let’s be real, I’ll probably be mugged again within six months. This is Bludhaven. Lightning strikes twice here. It’s practically a meteorological certainty.”

“That’s not how lightning works.”

“And yet.” You gesture vaguely at the unconscious mugger, the sketchy street, the flickering streetlight that’s been broken for three weeks. “Here we are.”

You walk away before he can respond, but you can feel his eyes on your back until you turn the corner. You’re not sure if he thinks you’re funny or just deeply disturbed.

Probably both.

Of course, both is good.

⋆.˚.𓅪࿐

You’re hanging from a fire escape.

It’s been two weeks since the ATM incident, and you’d actually started to think that maybe, just maybe, your luck was turning around. You got a fifty cent raise at work. Your landlord didn’t increase your rent. You found a dollar on the sidewalk.

But the universe doesn’t like it when you get comfortable.

You’re not even doing anything weird; you just came out here to water your singular, struggling tomato plant (which refuses to actually produce tomatoes) when the rusted bolts finally gave way. The fire escape tilted, you grabbed for the railing, and now you’re dangling four stories above an alley that definitely contains at least three used needles and a suspicious puddle.

“Help!” You scream, but it’s 11 pm and your neighbors include: one elderly man who’s definitely deaf, two college students who are always high, and a woman who once told you she “doesn’t believe in interference.”

This is exactly how you’d thought you’d die but you’d appreciate it if you weren’t right.

Your fingers are slipping. The metal is cutting into your palms. Below you, the suspicious puddle seems to shimmer with menace.

You’re wearing your nice jeans. The ones without holes. It seems important that someone know this.

“I’M WEARING MY NICE JEANS!” You yell into the void.

“Hold on!” A voice calls back, and you’re so startled you nearly let go.

Then he’s there, like some kind of acrobatic miracle, flipping up from the alley below and landing on the tilted fire escape with perfect balance. Nightwing grabs your wrists and hauls you up with absolutely no effort, pulling you against his chest as the fire escape groans ominously beneath you both.

“We need to move,” he says, and then he’s grappling to the roof, one arm wrapped firmly around your waist.

Your stomach does a complicated flip that has nothing to do with the sudden altitude change.

He sets you down on the roof, hands lingering on your arms to make sure you’re steady. “You okay?”

You’re breathing hard, adrenaline coursing through your system. “You know, you keep asking me that, and the answer keeps being ‘technically yes, but actually no.’”

He tilts his head, and there’s something about the gesture that’s almost bird-like. Fitting, given the whole theme. “Wait. ATM girl?”

“Oh, perfect. I have a nickname now.” You brush off your nice jeans, checking for damage. One knee is torn. Of course it is. “Yes. ATM girl. Also known as ‘that pessimist,’ ‘fire escape failure,’ and ‘person who can’t keep a tomato plant alive.’ Hi. Hello. Thank you for saving me again.”

“You remember me.” He sounds pleased.

“You’re dressed like an exotic bird and you saved me from a mugger. You’re pretty memorable.” You peer over the edge of the roof at your apartment window. The fire escape is completely detached now, hanging by a single bolt. “Great. There goes my security deposit.”

“You’re taking this pretty well.”

“What’s the alternative? Crying? I cried in 2019 and decided it wasn’t worth the effort.” You turn back to him, and in the moonlight, you can see more details; the curve of his jaw, the way his hair sticks up slightly, the almost absurd width of his shoulders. “So, do you just patrol this neighborhood specifically, or am I cosmically marked for disaster and you’re following the trail of chaos?”

He laughs, and it’s a good sound, warm and genuine. “Little of both, maybe. What were you doing on the fire escape?”

“Watering my tomato plant. Which has never produced a single tomato and probably never will, but I’m nothing if not committed to lost causes.” You sigh. “I should call my landlord. He’s going to love this.”

“It’s not your fault the fire escape collapsed.”

“And yet, I guarantee this somehow becomes my problem.” You pull out your phone, then pause. “Thanks. Again. For the rescue. You’re really good at those.”

“It’s kind of my thing.”

“Well, it’s a good thing.” You swallow, suddenly aware of how close you’re standing, how the moonlight catches on the blue of his suit, how he’s looking at you like you’re something interesting instead of just another disaster in motion. “You should probably go stop actual crime instead of babysitting the woman who clearly has a death wish via incompetence.”

“I don’t think you’re incompetent.”

“My fire escape would disagree. Also my tomato plant. Also my general life trajectory.”

He’s smiling again. You’re getting used to that smile, the way it makes something warm unfold in your chest despite your best efforts to remain emotionally neutral about everything.

“Get inside safely,” he says. “And maybe water your plant from the window from now on.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll keep trying. That plant and I both know it’s a doomed enterprise.”

But you’re smiling too, just a little, as he grapples away into the night, all grace and controlled power.

Your landlord does, in fact, make the fire escape your problem.

Of course he does.

⋆.˚.𓅪࿐

You’re stuck in an elevator.

“I should have taken the stairs,” you say to the ceiling, because talking to the ceiling feels more productive than screaming into the void. “I always take the stairs. But no, today I thought, ‘You know what? Live a little. Take the elevator. What’s the worst that could happen?’”

“To be fair,” Nightwing says from his corner of the surprisingly spacious elevator, “this is more of an inconvenience than a disaster.”

You turn to look at him. He’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, looking frustratingly calm for someone who’s been trapped in an elevator for twenty minutes. You, on the other hand, are definitely spiraling.

“We’re stuck in an elevator. In a building that’s scheduled for demolition next week. Because apparently, the city of Bludhaven doesn’t believe in proper notices or functional elevators in condemned buildings.”

“You didn’t see the notices?”

“I saw a flyer for a lost cat named Chairman Meow. I assumed that was more pressing than construction permits.” You slide down the wall until you’re sitting on the floor. “What are you even doing here?”

“Got a tip about some guys using the building as a storage facility for stolen goods.” He nods toward a duffel bag in the corner that you hadn’t noticed. “Found them. They ran when the elevator got stuck.”

“Of course they did. They probably took the stairs like sensible criminals.”

He moves to sit across from you, and even in crisis, he moves like water, all fluid grace. It’s unfair, really, how coordinated some people are. You trip over flat surfaces.

“You know,” he says, and you can hear the amusement in his voice, “most people would be more worried about being stuck.”

“Oh, I’m worried. I’m just also unsurprised. This is exactly the kind of thing that happens to me.” You let your head fall back against the wall. “Last month, I got jury duty for a case that was immediately dismissed. I didn’t even get to feel civically important. The month before that, I found a twenty dollar bill on the street and immediately stepped in gum.”

“The universe has it out for you.”

“The universe has it out for everyone. I’m just aware of it.” You glance at him. “Aren’t you supposed to have some kind of gadget that can fix this? Bat-elevator-escape-tool?”

“I’m Nightwing, not Batman. My utility belt has like, six things.”

“Wow, budget constraints even in vigilantism. That’s so Bludhaven.”

He laughs, and you’re starting to really like that sound. It feels like finding something valuable in a thrift store, unexpected and somehow precious because of it.

“You’re funny,” he says.

“I’m fatalistic. People often confuse the two.”

“No, you’re definitely funny.” He leans forward slightly. “And you’re handling this really well for someone who was hanging from a fire escape two weeks ago.”

“Oh, you think this is me handling it well? This is me disassociating. There’s a difference.” But you’re smiling despite yourself. “How long do you think we’ll be stuck?”

“I already hit the emergency call button. Fire department should be here in ten, fifteen minutes.”

“So enough time for you to tell me why you do this.” You gesture vaguely at his suit, his mask, the duffel bag of stolen goods. “The whole vigilante thing. Is it a rich person hobby? A elaborate form of therapy? A very committed cosplay situation?”

“What makes you think I’m rich?”

“That suit looks expensive. Also, you have incredible teeth. Dental work like that doesn’t come cheap.”

He grins, and yeah, those are really good teeth. “I can’t tell you my origin story while we’re stuck in an elevator. That’s terrible narrative pacing.”

“Fine. Tell me something else then.” You’re not sure why you’re pushing, except that sitting in silence feels worse than potential rejection. “Tell me why you remember me. ATM girl. Fire escape failure. Elevator disaster.”

“Because you’re different.” He says it simply, like it’s obvious. “Most people I rescue are either terrified or grateful or both. You were critiquing the economics of street crime while there was a gun pointed at you.”

“That was just my anxiety talking. I babble when I’m nervous.”

“And when you’re not nervous?”

“I’m always nervous. We live in Bludhaven.”

“Fair point.” He’s quiet for a moment, and you can feel him looking at you, really looking. “You act like you expect the worst, but you still watered your tomato plant. You still took the elevator instead of the stairs. That’s not pessimism. That’s hope wearing a disguise.”

The words hit something soft inside you, something you thought you’d armored over years ago with sarcasm and emotional distance.

“That’s a very poetic assessment of my character flaws,” you manage.

“I don’t think they’re flaws.”

Before you can figure out how to respond to that, before you can unpack the warm, fluttery feeling in your chest that feels dangerously close to something you can’t take back, there’s a grinding sound and the elevator lurches.

“Fire department?” You ask hopefully.

“Fire department,” he confirms, standing and offering you his hand.

You take it, and his grip is strong and steady, and you let yourself hold on for maybe a second longer than necessary.

The doors pry open to reveal two firefighters who look unsurprised to see Nightwing and very surprised to see you.

“Ma’am,” one of them says, “what were you doing in a condemned building?”

“Looking for Chairman Meow,” you say without missing a beat. “He’s still missing, by the way, if anyone’s seen an orange tabby with delusions of political grandeur.”

Nightwing makes a sound that might be a laugh or a cough.

As the firefighters escort you out (with several safety lectures), you glance back once. Nightwing is watching you go, duffel bag in hand, and even though you can’t see his eyes, you feel the weight of his attention like a physical thing.

You wave.

He waves back.

You tell yourself the flip in your stomach is just residual adrenaline.

You’re definitely lying to yourself.

⋆.˚.𓅪࿐

The fourth time you meet Nightwing, you’re not actually in danger.

You’re on your building’s roof (the landlord finally fixed the fire escape, but you’ve developed trust issues), lying on a blanket and looking at the stars. Or trying to. Light pollution in Bludhaven means you can see maybe seven stars on a good night, and most of them are probably planes.

“You know,” a voice says from behind you, “most people would consider this suspicious behavior.”

You don’t even flinch. Of course he would show up. Of course.

“Most people don’t live in my apartment,” you say, not sitting up. “My upstairs neighbor is having extremely loud makeup sex, my downstairs neighbor is learning the drums, and the person across the hall is watching what I think is the entire Fast and Furious franchise at maximum volume. I’m seeking refuge.”

Nightwing moves into your peripheral vision, then sits down on your blanket without asking. The casual intimacy of it makes your breath catch.

“All at once?” He asks.

“The universe coordinated it specifically to drive me to the roof. Where I will probably be struck by lightning or hit by a meteor.”

“Still not how lightning works.”

“And yet, you keep showing up during my disasters. What’s your excuse this time?”

He’s quiet for a moment, and when you finally turn your head to look at him, he’s staring up at the sky with an expression you can’t quite read.

“No excuse,” he admits. “I was patrolling nearby and saw you up here. Wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Checking on ATM girl? I’m touched. Truly.” But your voice is softer than usual, missing its typical sardonic edge. “I’m fine. Well, as fine as I ever am. No muggers, no collapsing structures, no stuck elevators. Just me and the seven visible stars.”

“Eight,” he says, pointing. “That one’s really faint, but it’s there.”

You look where he’s indicating and squint. “If you say so. I’ll take your word for it, since you seem to have superhuman vision along with superhuman acrobatics.”

“Just good training.”

“Right. Training. That you definitely do as part of your regular person job that’s definitely not related to being a billionaire or anything.”

“I never said I was a billionaire.”

“You also never said you weren’t.”

He laughs, and shifts slightly closer. You can feel the warmth of him now, even through his suit. “You’re very suspicious.”

“I’m very realistic. People don’t become vigilantes because they had a super normal childhood and well adjusted emotional regulation.” You pause. “No offense.”

“None taken. You’re not wrong.” He’s quiet for a beat. “You want to know something?”

“Is it your secret identity? Because I should warn you, I’m terrible at keeping secrets. I once accidentally told my coworker that another coworker was pregnant before she announced it, and I didn’t talk for three months out of shame.”

“Not my secret identity.” He sounds amused. “I was going to say that I actually look forward to running into you.”

Your heart does a complicated somersault. “You look forward to me nearly dying? That’s kind of dark.”

“I look forward to talking to you.” He turns to face you properly, and even in the darkness, you can see the curve of his smile. “You’re real. No filter, no performance. Just genuinely, refreshingly honest about how absurd everything is.”

“That’s just depression with better marketing.”

“It’s not, though.” He’s closer now, close enough that you can see the flecks of color in his mask, the slight stubble on his jaw. “You keep showing up. You keep trying. You’re watering that terrible tomato plant and taking elevators and lying on roofs looking for stars. That’s not giving up. That’s the opposite of giving up.”

You swallow hard. “You’re doing the poetic assessment thing again.”

“Is it working?”

“I’m not sure. My emotional processing system has been out of order since 2016.”

But you’re not pulling away. Neither is he.

“Can I tell you something?” You hear yourself say. “And you can’t make fun of me.”

“I would never.”

“You absolutely would, but I’m going to tell you anyway.” You take a breath. “I think I’m starting to actually look forward to the disasters. Because at least then I get to see you.”

The silence that follows feels enormous, stretching between you like something physical. You’re about to take it back, laugh it off, blame it on the drums and the makeup sex and the Fast and Furious franchise-

“Good,” he says quietly. “Because I’ve been taking extra patrols through this neighborhood for two weeks hoping to run into you.”

Oh.

Oh.

“That’s very inefficient crime fighting,” you whisper.

“I’m okay with that.”

He’s so close now. You can see the way his chest rises and falls, the slight curve of his lips, the angle of his jaw. Your hand moves without permission, reaching up to trace the edge of his mask.

“Can I-”

“Not yet,” he says, but he catches your hand and holds it against his cheek. “Soon. I promise. But not yet.”

“Okay.” And it is, somehow. Okay. “This is insane. You know that, right? I don’t even know your name.”

“You know me, though.” His thumb traces circles on your wrist. “You know the important parts.”

“I know you have good teeth and a concerning habit of showing up during my worst moments.”

“Your most interesting moments.”

“Same thing, in my life.”

He laughs, and then he’s leaning in, and you’re leaning in, and-

An alarm goes off somewhere in the distance. Police sirens. Something that sounds like gunshots.

He pulls back with a sigh that sounds genuinely regretful. “I have to go.”

“Of course you do. Crime never sleeps, and neither does my terrible luck with timing.”

But he’s standing, getting ready to grapple away, and you’re standing too, and before he goes he turns back and cups your face with one gloved hand.

“Same time next week?” He asks. “Same roof?”

“You’re scheduling our coincidental meetings now? That seems very organized for a spontaneous vigilante.”

“Call it hope wearing a disguise.”

He’s gone before you can respond, flipping off the roof with that impossible grace, and you’re left standing there with your hand pressed to your cheek where he touched you, smiling like an idiot at the seven- no, eight- stars.

This is dangerous, you think.

This is terrifying.

This is exactly the kind of thing that will definitely end in disaster.

You can’t wait.

⋆.˚.𓅪࿐

You're getting mugged again.

"I told you," you say to Nightwing as he drops from the fire escape above, landing between you and the two men who'd cornered you outside the 24-hour bodega. "I told you lightning strikes twice in Bludhaven. It's been exactly three months."

One of the muggers makes a run for it immediately. The other one pulls out a knife, which seems optimistic given that Nightwing was in the news for taking down an entire robbery crew last week with what you're pretty sure was just a pair of escrima sticks and audacity.

"You were counting?" Nightwing asks, disarming the guy with a move so fast you barely see it. The knife clatters into a storm drain. The mugger wisely chooses to follow his friend's lead and runs.

"I have a very specific relationship with probability and disaster." You hold up the energy drink you'd been buying. "I was just getting caffeine for my night shift. Is that too much to ask? One energy drink without a felony?"

He turns to you, and even though it's been three months of scheduled roof meetings (and several unscheduled disaster interventions), your stomach still does that stupid flip when he looks at you.

"You okay?" He asks, like always.

"Physically fine. Emotionally processing the fact that you either have a tracker on me or the universe is actively coordinating our meet-cutes through crime." You pause. "Wait. You don't have a tracker on me, right?"

"No tracker. I was two blocks away when I heard yelling."

"My yelling specifically, or just general Bludhaven yelling? Because there's a lot of ambient yelling in this city."

He steps closer, does that thing where he checks you over for injuries even though you've told him you're fine. His hands hover near your shoulders, not quite touching. "Your yelling has a specific quality."

"Is it the desperation? The resignation? The underlying notes of 'I knew this would happen'?"

"It's distinctive." His lips twitch. "You want me to walk you home?"

"Nightwing, it's three blocks. Surely there's actual crime happening somewhere that needs your attention more than my tragic walk of shame back to my apartment."

"Humor me."

So you do, because you're weak and he's looking at you like that, and honestly, your Tuesday (of course it's a fucking Tuesday) is already so absurd that adding a vigilante escort service barely registers.

You walk in silence for half a block before he speaks. "How's the tomato plant?"

"Dying. Finally gave up last week. I'm weirdly proud of it for lasting eight months though. That's longer than most of my relationships."

"You're in a relationship with your tomato plant?"

"Was. It's complicated. We wanted different things. It wanted proper drainage and sunlight. I wanted it to not be a metaphor for my inability to nurture living things."

He's laughing now, that warm sound you've become maybe slightly addicted to over the past few months. Your roof meetings have become the highlight of your week, even though you're both pretending they're casual. Even though you're both pretending that the almost-kiss from that first night didn't fundamentally alter something in the space between you.

"I got a new plant," you admit. "A cactus. The guy at the store said it was indestructible."

"How long has it been?"

"Four days."

"And?"

"It's looking suspicious. I think it's plotting something."

You've reached your building. The one with the formerly broken fire escape, the drum learning neighbor, and the upstairs couple who have apparently decided that their relationship drama is a communal experience.

You should go inside. He should go stop crime. This is where the night should end.

"So," you say instead, because you're bad at good decisions. "Thursday. Roof. Same time?"

"Wouldn't miss it." But he's not leaving. He's standing there, closer than necessary, and the streetlight is flickering (because of course it is), and something in his posture has shifted.

"What?" You ask.

"Nothing. Just..." He reaches up, almost touches your face, then drops his hand. "Be careful. Please."

"Careful? You do remember who you're talking to, right? I'm the fire escape girl. The elevator disaster. The woman who gets mugged on a schedule."

"Exactly." And there's something in his voice now, something that makes your breath catch. "So be careful. Because I..." He stops, shakes his head. "Thursday. Don't be late."

He's gone before you can ask what he was going to say, grappling up into the darkness, and you're left standing there wondering if it's possible to have your heart broken by someone whose real name you don't even know.

(It is. You're pretty sure it is.)

⋆.˚.𓅪࿐

Thursday arrives with all the enthusiasm of a dental appointment.

You're on the roof at 10 pm sharp, because apparently you're the kind of person who's punctual for secret meetings with a masked vigilante now. The blanket is spread out. You've brought snacks this time- chips, because you're not fancy, and two cans of the fancy lemonade from the bodega that doesn't get robbed as frequently.

He's late.

By 10:15, you're starting to worry, which is a new and uncomfortable feeling. Usually you're worried about yourself and your own impending disasters. Worrying about someone else requires emotional bandwidth you're not sure you have.

By 10:30, you're pacing.

By 10:45, you're googling "Bludhaven crime news" on your phone, which is probably exactly what you shouldn't be doing but your anxiety brain has never been good at following directions.

At 11:07, he lands on the roof, and you're on your feet immediately.

"You're late," you say, and it comes out more scared than annoyed. "You're never late."

"I know. I'm sorry. There was a thin- " He stops, and even in the darkness you can see something's wrong. He's favoring his left side. There's a tear in his suit near his ribs.

"You're hurt." It's not a question.

"It's nothing. Just- "

"Sit down." You're already moving toward him, hands hovering uselessly because you have no idea what to do with an injured vigilante but you need to do something. "Sit down right now or I swear I'll- I don't know what I'll do, but it'll be annoying."

He sits, probably more from surprise than actual obedience. You kneel beside him, trying to assess the damage through the suit.

"It's really not that bad," he says, but his voice is tight with pain. "I've had worse."

"That's not as comforting as you think it is." Your hands are shaking. When did your hands start shaking? "What do I do? Do you have a first aid kit? Do you need a hospital? Should I call Batman?"

"Please don't call Batman."

"I don't even know how to call Batman. That was an empty threat." You're rambling now, the words spilling out in a rush. "I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to help you. I barely know how to help myself. I once put a band-aid on upside down- "

"Hey." His hand catches yours, stops the flailing. "Breathe."

You breathe. It doesn't help.

"I have supplies in my belt," he says calmly. "Just need to... patch it up. It's honestly not serious."

"You have a hole in your suit. There's blood. That seems serious."

"I've had worse nights." But he's pulling out a first aid kit that's somehow compact enough to fit in his utility belt, wincing as he moves.

You take it from him before he can argue. "Let me. Please. I need- " Your voice cracks. "I need to help. I need to do something."

He looks at you for a long moment, and then nods.

His suit has some kind of panel near the injury that peels back, revealing a gash along his ribs that makes your stomach turn. It's not as deep as you feared, but it's definitely more than "nothing."

"Knife?" You ask, focusing on the injury instead of the implications, instead of the fact that this man you've been slowly falling for risks his life every single night.

"Broken glass, actually. Went through a window."

"Consensually or...?"

"The window was very against it."

You laugh, because the alternative is crying, and you carefully clean the wound with the supplies from his kit. He doesn't flinch, which is somehow more concerning than if he had.

"You do this a lot," you say quietly. It's not a question.

"More than I'd like."

"And you just... patch yourself up and go back out the next night."

"Usually."

You're applying butterfly bandages now, careful and methodical, trying not to think about how this could have been worse. How it could always be worse.

"Why?" The word comes out smaller than you intended. "Why do you do this?"

He's quiet while you finish bandaging, and you think maybe he won't answer. Then: "Someone has to."

"That's not an answer. That's a deflection."

"You're getting good at reading me."

"You're getting easier to read." You sit back, surveying your work. It's not pretty, but it'll hold. "Or maybe I'm just paying more attention than I should be."

"Is that what you think? That you're paying too much attention?"

You look up at him, and even with the mask, even in the darkness, you can feel the intensity of his gaze.

"I don't know what I think anymore," you admit. "Three months ago, I was just a person who got mugged sometimes and had a dying tomato plant. Now I'm the person who waits on roofs and worries when you're late and apparently knows how to do field dressing for vigilante injuries. I don't know how that happened."

"I do." His hand comes up, cups your face like he did that first night. "You kept showing up."

"You literally scheduled the meetings."

"You could have said no."

"Could I have?" Your voice is barely a whisper now. "Because I don't think I could have. I don't think I can. And that's terrifying."

"Why terrifying?"

"Because you're- " You gesture at him, at the suit, at the fresh bandage on his ribs. "This. All of this. You jump off buildings and fight criminals and apparently go through windows. You're not safe. This isn't safe. And I'm- I'm a person who expects the worst because the worst usually happens, but somehow you've become the exception and I don't know what to do with that."

His thumb brushes your cheekbone. "What if I told you I'm terrified too?"

"You? You're Nightwing. You're not afraid of anything."

"I'm afraid of you not being here next Thursday." The words are quiet, honest, devastating. "I'm afraid of you deciding this is too complicated. Too dangerous. Too- "

You kiss him.

It's not graceful. You basically just lean forward and press your mouth to his, cutting off his words, and for a second he's too surprised to respond. Then his hand slides into your hair and he's kissing you back, and oh, this is-

This is nice.

You break apart after a moment that feels both infinite and far too short. You're breathing hard, and he is too, and you're still close enough to count his heartbeats.

"That was..." he starts.

"Impulsive? Stupid? A terrible idea given the circumstances?"

"I was going to say worth waiting for."

You laugh, and it comes out shaky. "You're bleeding through your bandage and I just kissed you. This is the most Bludhaven romance ever."

"Is that what this is? A romance?"

"I don't know. Is it?"

He leans his forehead against yours, careful of the mask. "I want it to be."

"Even though I'm a disaster?"

"Because you're a disaster. My favorite disaster." He pulls back just enough to look at you. "I need to tell you something. Soon. About... everything. Who I am. But not tonight. Not when I'm- "

"Bleeding and probably concussed?"

"I'm not concussed."

"You went through a window. You're at least mildly concussed."

"Fair point." He's smiling though, even through the pain. " I'll tell you everything. Soon. I promise."

"Everything?"

"Everything you want to know."

You should be scared. This is the part where your pessimistic brain should kick in, should start listing all the ways this will inevitably end badly. But looking at him now, at the way he's looking at you like you're something precious instead of just another disaster in motion...

"Okay," you say. "Okay. I'll see you next Thursday. But if you're late again, I'm implementing a three strike policy."

"What happens after three strikes?"

"I'll have to actually learn your name through investigative journalism. It'll be very embarrassing for both of us."

He laughs, then winces. "You should go. Get some sleep. I'll watch you get inside safely."

"You'll watch me walk down one flight of stairs?"

"Humor me."

So you do, gathering your blanket and your unopened snacks, and when you reach the roof door you look back. He's still sitting there, hand pressed to his ribs, watching you with that impossible attention.

"Be careful," you call back. "Please."

"You first."

"That's statistically unlikely, but I'll try."

You're smiling as you head down the stairs, heart racing, lips still tingling, completely terrified and completely sure all at once.

This is definitely going to end in disaster.

But maybe- just maybe- it'll be the good kind.

⋆.˚.𓅪࿐

Nightwing hands you an envelope.

You're on your usual rooftop, and he drops down from seemingly nowhere, landing in that cat like crouch that should be illegal in terms of sheer attractiveness. You've been seeing each other- if you can call these rooftop rendezvous "seeing each other"- for almost four months now, and your heart still does that stupid flutter thing every time he appears.

"I have something for you," he says, and there's a nervous energy to him that's new.

"If it's another apology for having to leave mid-kiss last week because of a police scanner, I'm going to start charging you per interruption."

"It's not that." He sits next to you and pulls out a cream colored envelope, expensive looking, with your name written on it in actual calligraphy. "I want you to come to something."

You take the envelope like it might explode. "Is this a ransom note? A summons? A very formal breakup letter?"

"Just open it."

You do, and your brain immediately short-circuits.

You are cordially invited to the Wayne Foundation Annual Charity Gala...

"This is- " You look up at him, then back at the invitation. "This is a joke, right? This is fake. You printed this at like, a FedEx or something."

"It's real."

"Nightwing. This is a Wayne gala. As in Bruce Wayne. As in billionaire Bruce Wayne. As in- " You wave the invitation. "There's no way this is real. These things are invite only for like, celebrities and politicians and people who own multiple yachts."

"I know."

"So this is definitely fake."

He takes off one of his gloves and reaches for your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. "It's real. I want you there. I want..." He pauses, and you can see him gathering courage. "I want you to meet me. The real me. Not just the mask."

Your heart is doing dangerous things. "You're going to be there? At a Wayne gala?"

"Yeah."

"As yourself. Your real self."

"Yeah."

"And you're either Bruce Wayne's secret son, or you're about to tell me you're Batman, or- " You stop. "Oh my god, are you Batman? Is that why you said you only have six things in your utility belt? Is it a budget thing or a 'I'm actually just a vigilante with a day job' thing?"

He's laughing now, soft and genuine. "I'm not Batman. But yes, I'll be there. And I want you there too. If you want to come."

"This is insane."

"Probably."

"This is going to be a disaster."

"Maybe."

"I don't have anything to wear to a Wayne gala. I can't exactly show up in my 'I Survived Bludhaven' tshirt and jeggings."

"You'll figure something out." He squeezes your hand. "Please? I know it's scary, and I know this is all backwards and weird, but- "

"Okay."

He stops. "Okay?"

"Okay. I'll come." You look at the invitation again, at the embossed Wayne logo, at the date that's only three days away. "I'm going to regret this. This is going to end terribly. But okay."

He kisses you then, deep and relieved and tasting like promises that you're terrified to believe in.

"Saturday night," he says against your lips. "Wayne Manor. Seven pm."

"I'll be the one having a panic attack in the corner."

"I'll find you."

After he leaves, you sit on the roof for another hour, holding the invitation and trying to convince yourself it's real.

It's probably fake, you think.

This is definitely a prank.

There's no way this ends well.

Saturday arrives with all the inevitability of a dental appointment.

You've spent the last three days having a sustained, low level panic attack. You went to every thrift store in Bludhaven and finally found a dress that doesn't look like it was donated after someone's divorce in 1987. It's black, because you're not ambitious enough for color, and it fits reasonably well if you don't breathe too deeply. It cost $27, which is $20 more than you've ever spent on a single item of clothing.

You've paired it with shoes you already owned (black flats with a scuff on the toe that you colored in with Sharpie) and a small purse you borrowed from your coworker who asked exactly zero questions, bless her.

You look in the mirror and see exactly what you are: a person in a discount dress pretending to be someone who belongs at a Wayne gala.

"This is fine," you tell your reflection. "This is totally fine. The invitation is probably fake anyway, and you'll get turned away at the door, and you can go home and eat ice cream and never think about this again."

The invitation sits on your counter, looking aggressively real.

You grab it, grab your purse, and head out before you can talk yourself out of it.

Wayne Manor is exactly as intimidating as you imagined, which is to say: very.

The uber driver drops you off at the end of a long driveway that probably costs more than your entire apartment building. There are actual literal limousines pulling up to the entrance. You can see people in gowns that cost more than your yearly salary stepping out with the kind of casual grace that comes from never having worried about rent.

"This is fine," you mutter, walking up the driveway because there's no way you're asking to be driven up like you belong here. "This is totally fine. The bouncer will definitely kick you out and then you can go home."

But when you reach the entrance, holding out your invitation like a shield, the man in the tuxedo just smiles and says, "Welcome, miss. Enjoy your evening."

And then you're inside.

Wayne Manor is obscene. There's no other word for it. The foyer alone is bigger than your apartment, with marble floors and a chandelier that probably costs more than a small country's GDP. Beautiful people in beautiful clothes are everywhere, holding champagne glasses and laughing with the kind of ease that comes from never having checked their bank account before buying groceries.

You are immediately, viscerally aware of every single flaw in your discount dress.

The woman next to you is wearing something that shimmers like starlight and probably has a designer name you can't pronounce. Her jewelry is real. Her hair is professionally styled. She smells like expensive perfume.

You smell like the lavender body spray you got on sale at Target.

"This was a mistake," you whisper to yourself. "This was absolutely a mistake."

You're about to turn around and leave, invitation be damned, Nightwing be damned, your own curiosity be damned, when a waiter appears with a tray of champagne.

"Would you care for a drink, miss?"

You take one because it's free and you're definitely going to need alcohol to get through whatever fresh humiliation this evening has planned.

The champagne is good. Annoyingly good. Even the alcohol here is fancier than you.

You drift through the crowd like a ghost, trying not to make eye contact with anyone, trying not to draw attention to your discount dress and your Sharpie-ed shoes. You find a corner near an elaborate flower arrangement (are those orchids? those are definitely orchids. you killed one once) and try to blend into the wallpaper.

This is fine. You'll stay for twenty minutes, drink your fancy champagne, and then leave. Nightwing was probably joking anyway. Or maybe he forgot. Or maybe-

"Excuse me," a voice says, and you turn to find a woman in a red dress that probably costs more than your car would if you had a car. "Are you here alone?"

"Um." You clutch your champagne. "Yes?"

"Oh, how lovely! I'm Caroline Whitmore. My husband is on the board of the Wayne Foundation." She gestures vaguely at a man across the room who's wearing a tux that fits him like a second skin. "Is this your first Wayne gala?"

"Is it that obvious?"

She laughs, but it's not unkind. "A little. You have that 'deer in headlights' look. Don't worry, everyone feels that way their first time. The Waynes can be a bit... overwhelming."

"That's one word for it," you mutter into your champagne.

"The trick is to just enjoy the free food and avoid Bruce Wayne's new girlfriend. She's dreadful." Caroline leans in conspiratorially. "Between you and me, I think he just dates models because he doesn't know how to have a real conversation."

You're saved from having to respond by a commotion near the entrance. The crowd shifts, and you can feel the energy in the room change, the way everyone's attention suddenly focuses on one point.

"Oh, there they are," Caroline says. "The Wayne family. They always make an entrance."

You shouldn't look. You should stay in your corner with your champagne and your discount dress and your existential dread.

But of course you look.

Bruce Wayne enters first looking exactly like the billionaire playboy philanthropist he's famous for being. Tall, handsome in a way that's almost aggressive, wearing a tux that probably costs more than your entire life.

Behind him is a younger man who looks uncomfortable in his suit, dark haired and scowling. Then another man, broader, with a white streak in his hair and an expression that suggests he'd rather be literally anywhere else. Another younger man who’s looking down at his phone and looks like he hasn’t slept since the day he was born.

And then-

And then-

Your champagne glass slips from your hand.

It hits the marble floor with a crash that echoes through the sudden silence, and everyone- every single person in the room- turns to look at you.

But you're not looking at them.

You're looking at the man who just walked in behind Bruce Wayne. Dark hair that sticks up in a way that's immediately, devastatingly familiar. A smile that you've seen in moonlight and shadows, now displayed under the crystal chandelier. A suit that's perfectly tailored to a body you've traced with your hands on rooftop meetings.

He's looking right at you.

And you know.

You know.

"Oh my god," you whisper. "Dick Grayson."

Because of course Nightwing is Dick Grayson. Of course he's Bruce Wayne's ward, the former circus performer turned billionaire's son, the golden boy of Gotham society.

Of course you've been making out with someone who's probably worth more than the entire city of Bludhaven.

Caroline is saying something about the broken glass, and a waiter is rushing over, but you can't hear any of it because Dick Grayson-Nightwing- is walking toward you.

The crowd parts for him like he's Moses and they're the Red Sea.

He stops in front of you, and up close, without the mask, you can see his eyes. Blue. Bright blue. The same eyes that have looked at you with concern and humor and heat.

"Hi," he says, and his voice is the same, exactly the same. "You made it."

"I- " Your brain is offline. Completely offline. "You're Dick Grayson."

"Yeah."

"The Dick Grayson. The- the son of Bruce Wayne. The- "

"Technically adopted son, but yeah."

"I've been kissing Dick Grayson on my roof."

He grins. "You have been."

"I told you that you were probably rich and you lied."

"I said I never said I was a billionaire," he points out. "Technically true. Bruce is the billionaire. I just have access to his credit cards."

"That's-you-" You look around at the crowd that's definitely, absolutely watching this entire interaction. At the broken champagne glass at your feet. At your discount dress next to his designer tux. "I'm going to pass out."

"Please don't." He takes your hand, the same way he has on the roof, his thumb finding that spot on your wrist that always makes you shiver. "Come on. Let's get you some air."

"I broke a glass. There's-I should clean that up. I should- "

"The staff will handle it." He's already guiding you through the crowd, past the staring faces and the whispered comments. Past Bruce Wayne, who raises an eyebrow but says nothing. Past the scowling boy and the man with the white streak and the teen that’s no longer looking at his phone but looking at you in curiosity.

He leads you out to a balcony that overlooks the grounds, and the cool night air hits your face like a slap.

"Okay," he says, turning to face you. "You can yell now."

"I can't yell. I'm at a Wayne gala. There are probably rules about yelling."

"There are definitely rules about yelling, but I'm giving you permission to break them."

You stare at him. At Dick Grayson. At Nightwing. At the man you've been falling for without knowing he's literally famous, literally rich, literally everything you're not.

"I'm wearing a twenty seven dollar dress," you say finally.

He blinks. "Okay?"

"I'm wearing a twenty seven dollar dress from a thrift store, and my shoes have Sharpie on them, and I colored in the scuff mark this morning because I don't own fancy shoes. Everyone in there is wearing clothes that cost more than my rent, and I'm- I'm- "

"Beautiful," he says simply. "You're beautiful."

"I'm a disaster."

"You're my favorite disaster."

And despite everything- despite the humiliation and the broken glass and the fact that you're definitely the poorest person at this gala- you laugh.

"This is insane," you say. "This is actually insane. I've been dating- are we dating? I don't even know if we're dating- I've been something with Dick Grayson and I didn't even know it."

"We're dating," he confirms. "Definitely dating. I'm not in the habit of having regularly scheduled rooftop makeout sessions with people I'm not dating."

"Your life is so weird."

"Says the woman who critiques muggers while they're actively mugging her."

You're about to respond, about to say something about how at least your weird is normal weird, not billionaire vigilante weird, when there's a commotion from inside.

Not the normal gala commotion. Something else.

Something wrong.

Dick's entire posture changes, his body going taut in a way you recognize from when he's in the suit.

"Stay here," he says.

"Yeah, that's not ominous at all."

But he's already moving back toward the ballroom, and you follow because of course you do, because the universe has never let you make smart decisions.

The scene inside is chaos.

The lights are flickering. People are screaming. And standing in the center of the ballroom, surrounded by henchmen in matching green suits, is a man with a purple suit, a cane, and a smile that makes your skin crawl.

The Riddler.

Because of course. Of course this gala is being crashed by a Batman rogue. Of course this is happening.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" The Riddler's voice carries across the ballroom with theatrical flair. "I do hope I'm not interrupting anything important. Though I suppose that depends on your definition of 'important,' doesn't it? After all, what's more important: champagne and canapés, or the answer to a riddle that could save your lives?"

You're frozen in the doorway. Dick is next to you, and you can see him calculating, planning, probably figuring out how to get to wherever he keeps his Nightwing suit stashed.

"Here's the riddle," the Riddler continues, twirling his cane. "What has hands but cannot clap, a face but cannot smile, and tells you when it's time to die?"

The crowd is silent, terrified.

And you-

You can't help yourself.

"A clock," you say.

It's not loud. It's barely more than a mutter.

But in the terrified silence, it carries.

The Riddler's head snaps toward you. "What was that?"

"I said it's a clock." Your voice is stronger now, because apparently when faced with mortal peril, your anxiety manifests as mouthy confidence. "The answer is a clock. It has hands, it has a face, and depending on your philosophical relationship with mortality, it tells you when you're going to die. Although technically, that's more metaphorical than- "

The Riddler stops in front of you, studying you with unsettling intensity. "You're not afraid."

"Oh, I'm terrified. I'm just also really annoyed because I was about to have a whole crisis about dating someone out of my league, and now you're here with your- " You gesture vaguely at his outfit. "Your whole situation, and I have to deal with that instead."

There's a beat of absolute silence.

Then Dick makes a sound that might be a laugh or a sob.

"You're dating someone?" The Riddler looks delighted. "How wonderful! And who might this lucky person be?"

"That's really none of your business, but thanks for the interest in my personal life. Very invested for a supervillain." You pause, and your brain- your traitorous, anxiety ridden brain- decides this is the perfect time to keep talking. "Actually, you know what? Can I ask you something?"

Dick's hand tightens on your arm. "Please don't- "

"Why are you even doing this?" You gesture at the terrified crowd, the henchmen, the whole hostage situation. "The crime thing. You're clearly intelligent. Like, really intelligent. Your riddles are actually good, which is more than I can say for most people's riddles. Why aren't you running an escape room empire or something?"

The Riddler stops. Blinks. "Excuse me?"

"Escape rooms!" You're on a roll now, your anxiety manifesting as what can only be described as aggressive career counseling. "Think about it! You could corner the entire market! You're already creating elaborate puzzles and death traps; just make them non lethal and charge people seventy five dollars a head to try to solve them. People LOVE that stuff. You'd be rich in like, six months. Plus, you'd get to feel superior to everyone who can't solve your puzzles, which seems like a big thing for you- no offense- and it would be completely legal!"

The entire ballroom is silent. Even the henchmen look confused.

The Riddler is staring at you like you've just spoken in an alien language.

"You- " He stops. Starts again. "You think I should open an escape room?"

"Not an escape room. Multiple escape rooms. A franchise. 'Nygma's Enigmas' or something. Trademark it. Get investors. Go on Shark Tank. You could be a millionaire legitimately, and you'd get to watch people fail at your puzzles all day, every day, and they'd literally be PAYING you for the privilege. It's the perfect business model for someone with your specific skillset and psychological needs!"

"I- " The Riddler looks genuinely taken aback. "I have never- "

"And think about the branding opportunities! Merchandise! Puzzle books! A YouTube channel where you explain how people failed! You could be internet famous! Do you know how much money internet famous people make? A LOT. More than you're probably getting from- " You gesture at the current hostage situation. "Whatever this is supposed to accomplish."

"She has a point," one of the henchmen mutters.

The Riddler spins to glare at him. "Whose side are you on?"

"I'm just saying, boss, the last three jobs haven't really paid that well- "

"SILENCE!"

"Plus, the Bat keeps catching us," another henchman adds. "An escape room business would have way better job security- "

"Are my henchmen seriously discussing CAREER CHANGES in the middle of a HEIST?"

"It's not a bad idea," a third henchman says thoughtfully. "My cousin runs an escape room in Metropolis. He cleared six figures last year."

"Yeah, and he doesn't get punched by Batman," the first henchman points out.

"EXACTLY," you say, pointing at them. "See? Your employees understand basic risk benefit analysis! You could offer them actual benefits! Health insurance! A 401k! Paid time off!"

Dick has given up trying to stop you. You can feel him shaking next to you, and you're pretty sure it's silent laughter.

Bruce Wayne is pinching the bridge of his nose in the background.

The Riddler looks like he's having an existential crisis. "But- but the CHALLENGE! The battle of wits with Batman! The thrill of outwitting the law!"

"You can still have that! Just make one of your escape rooms Batman themed! Make it really hard! Charge extra! He might even show up to try it, and then you get to watch him struggle with your puzzles in a legal, controlled environment! It's a win-win!"

"Batman themed," the Riddler repeats slowly.

"With like, gargoyles and batarangs and stuff. Make it super dramatic. People will eat that up. Gotham loves Batman. Merchandising nightmare, but that's what lawyers are for."

There's a long, long pause.

"That's..." The Riddler trails off. "That's actually not a terrible idea."

"RIGHT?!"

"I could create the most challenging escape rooms in the world. People would come from everywhere to test themselves against my intellect- "

"And PAY you for it!"

"And I could rate them. Publicly. On their failures- "

"Make a leaderboard! With shame tiers!"

"A SHAME LEADERBOARD." The Riddler looks genuinely excited now. "That's brilliant! That's- " He stops. Looks around at the terrified gala attendees. At his henchmen, who are all nodding enthusiastically. At you, in your twenty seven dollar dress, having just accidentally talked a supervillain into considering legitimate employment.

"This is..." He shakes his head. "This is the strangest hostage situation I've ever been in."

"Is it still a hostage situation if we're having a productive career counseling session?" You ask.

"I don't know! I've never had this happen before!"

"Well, there's a first time for everything. So, are you going to let everyone go, or..."

That's when the lights go out.

There's the familiar sounds of a Batfamily in action the thwip of grappling hooks, the thunk of escrima sticks, the crack of martial arts, and what sounds like a tiny angry Robin yelling something about "incompetent fools."

When the lights come back on, the Riddler and his henchmen are zip tied on the floor. Batman is glowering. Nightwing is clearly trying not to laugh behind his mask. Robin looks deeply offended by the entire situation.

"Did she just- " Robin starts.

"Give the Riddler career advice? Yes," Batman says flatly.

"Is that... allowed?"

"I don't think there's a protocol for this, Robin."

The Riddler, zip tied and defeated, looks up at you from the floor. "You know, in another life, I think we could have been friends."

"In another life, you could be a legitimate businessman," you counter. "It's not too late! Think about the escape rooms! Think about the shame leaderboard! If Martha Stewart can make bank after prison, so can you!”

"I AM thinking about it!" He actually sounds enthusiastic. "The possibilities are- "

"Okay, that's enough," Batman interrupts, gesturing for the GCPD. "Take him in."

As they're hauling the Riddler away, he calls back: "If I do this- if I actually do this- I'm naming you as a consultant!"

"I don't want credit for this!" You yell back.

"Too late! You're getting a percentage!"

"A percentage of WHAT?!"

"MY ESCAPE ROOM EMPIRE!"

And then he's gone, still yelling about business plans and shame leaderboards, and you're left standing in a ballroom full of Gotham's elite, having just accidentally become a business partner with a supervillain.

Dick appears at your elbow, back in his regular tux, no mask. He's grinning so wide it looks painful.

"Did you just- "

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You just convinced the Riddler to consider a legitimate career- "

"I was dissociating. My mouth just does things when I'm nervous!"

"That was the most amazing thing I've ever witnessed."

Bruce Wayne materializes on your other side. He looks at you for a long moment.

"If he actually does open an escape room franchise," Bruce says seriously, "and it keeps him out of crime, I'm writing you a recommendation letter for whatever you want."

"I don't- I can't- " You look between them. "This is insane. This whole night is insane. I came here in a thrift store dress and now I'm a business consultant for a supervillain?!"

"Twenty seven dollar dress," Dick corrects, still grinning.

"NOT THE POINT."

Caroline Whitmore appears with champagne. "Same time next year?" She asks cheerfully.

You take the champagne and down it in one go.

"Sure," you say faintly. "Why not. What else could possibly happen?"

The universe, as always, is listening.

⋆.˚.𓅪࿐

You wake up disoriented, head full of static, and for a moment you’re convinced the entire Wayne gala was a stress induced fever dream. The ceiling above you is definitely not the water stained plaster of your apartment: this one is smooth, painted a gentle gray, and if you squint you can see tiny glow in the dark stars scattered in one corner.

There’s a slow, delicious ache in your thighs that’s definitely not from stress.

You shift, and the sheet slithers over bare skin, warm and expensive, and the motion pulls your attention to the weight at your waist; an arm, long and golden and dusted with soft brown hair, wraps you close.

Oh.

You twist, carefully and there he is: Dick Grayson, hair rumpled, one hand tucked beneath his cheek, mouth parted with the kind of sleep heavy softness that makes you want to press your face to his shoulder and never move again.

Last night comes back in flashes: his mouth on yours as the adrenaline bled out in the back seat of the car, his hands clumsy and urgent as he unlocked the door to his apartment, laughter tangled with kisses, a trail of your thrifted dress and his designer tux winding through the hall.

You’d made love with the kind of desperate relief that comes from barely surviving- again- a night that should have been a disaster but somehow wasn’t.

Dick shifts, blinking blearily, and his gaze finds you, blue and bright and so gentle you could cry.

“Hey,” he murmurs, voice gravel soft with sleep. “You’re still here.”

“Wasn’t sure I would be.” You mean to say it with a laugh, but it comes out quiet, almost vulnerable.

His thumb brushes over your bare hip, slow and affectionate. “You always have a choice. You know that, right?”

You nod, trying not to melt into him. “You snore, by the way.”

He grins, no shame at all. “And you talk in your sleep. You told me the exact tax rate on laundromat quarters.”

You flush, and Dick leans in, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, your throat, the corner of your jaw. “It’s adorable.”

You let yourself settle against him, the two of you tucked into the soft tangle of his sheets, sun leaking in around the blackout curtains.

Dick rolls you gently onto your back, hovering over you, hair falling into his eyes. “You know what I want?” he says, voice gone low and teasing, eyes warm as sunrise.

“What’s that?”

He ducks down, lips brushing yours in a kiss that’s slow, sweet, the kind you never thought you’d get from someone like him. “I want to make you breakfast. And then I want to see if you’ll let me keep you here all weekend.”

Your heart does a ridiculous, traitorous thing in your chest. “You’d get sick of me by noon.”

He nips at your jaw, grinning. “Not possible. I’m insatiable.” He punctuates it with another kiss, this one lingering, his hand sliding over your waist, palm broad and steady.

You can feel him, hard and wanting against your thigh. The temptation to tease is irresistible. “Didn’t you say you needed to rest after last night, Mr. Grayson?”

He groans, but his mouth is already sliding down your neck, teeth scraping lightly. “I lied. Or maybe you just recharge me.”

Your hands slide into his hair as he kisses down your body, worshipful, reverent. His lips find your breast, tongue circling, and his hand drifts lower, cupping your thigh, thumb stroking lazily at your skin. The ache between your legs turns electric, all soft warmth and want.

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he murmurs against your skin, breath hot.

“Don’t you dare.”

He laughs quiet, and so, so happy and then his mouth is on you, slow and patient, mapping every inch. When he finally presses inside, the stretch is familiar and perfect, and you wrap your arms around his shoulders and hold him close, moving together in the drowsy gold of morning.

He presses his forehead to yours, both of you grinning like idiots.

“I’m not going anywhere,” you whisper.

He kisses you, slow and sure, as if sealing a promise: “Good. Because you’re my favorite disaster.”

The sun climbs higher, and you think, for once, that maybe- just maybe- everything is exactly as it should be.

And maybe lightning didn’t strike to destroy you for once: maybe it struck to set you alight.

[bihanspookies]

WELCOME BACK TO SMASH OR PASS WHERE @chadillacboseman AND I GIVE YOU OUR QUESTIONABLE TASTES

Today’s Smash or Pass is: Anthony Romulus

Nati: smash

Tara: smash

[mintmatcha]

I started writing android porn weeks ago and then I realized I had nowhere to go with it

[mintmatcha]

[animediplomat]

"I enjoy working to make someone feel good" is going to rattle around my head for WEEKS omg

[mintmatcha]

this is clearly not finished but he's SOOOOOOO into servicing

[ma0chi77]

wipp

[coquettefrancaise]

it's a trap

by Coin

pairing: Dick Grayson x reader ~ 2.1k

summary: when you and Dick get stuck in a closet together you find out he has more than mild feelings for his father's assistant

warnings: Dick Grayson's fine ass (not literally unfortunately), claustrophobia, heavy kissing, talk of crotches, silly silly romance

How you found yourself stuck in the storage closet with Dick Grayson was a mystery to you. In all honesty, you thought you'd put down a door stopper to prevent this very thing from happening. And yet here you were...

When you came to work this morning it was to find out that your employer, Mr. Wayne had left the office responsibilities in the hands of his eldest son while he was off in some remote part of the world to manage business. Now, while you knew that Dick was more than capable of getting things done, he had a poor habit of distracting you from your tasks.

Oftentimes, he would perch on the edge of your desk and screw around with your pens and markers or comment on the framed photos of your family and pets. And it wasn't so much his touching your things that diverted your attention but his close presence.

All of Gotham—and probably most of the country—knew that Dick Grayson was God's blessing on earth. Mussed inky black hair, cobalt blue eyes, strong features, kissable pink lips, and a strong musculature of six plus feet that had your fingers itching for just one touch. Yeah. He was the epitome of 'pretty boy' and it was disconcerting to have him constantly in your space while you tried to keep your focus on filing papers and organizing meetings. Maybe, if he weren't so affable and smiley all the time, it would be easier to ignore him, but he just so happened to be both those things. Ugh.

You didn't know why he visited you so often and neither did half the women in the office. Though they were only so confused because they couldn't imagine him wanting you over any of them.

Perhaps he thought you were easy conversation or he felt like he had to be friendly with his father's personal assistant? Either way, you had no valid logic for his frequent visits.

"-that's why I'm not allowed near the Lamborghini or Aston Martin anymore." He chuckled bashfully, fooling around with your stapler and a random piece of paper.

"I wouldn't let you near my car either with your reputation." You remarked with an amused smile, holding out your hand for the stapler. Of course he had to be funny on top of everything.

He put it in your hand and watched curiously as you straightened a stack of papers and attempted to staple them together only to be met with a click. You tried again to no avail.

"Is it broken?" Dick asked. "I can go get Bruce's if you'd like."

You shook your head. "It's only empty. Someone," you sent him a faux glare to which he beamed at, "was playing with it."

He held up his hands in mock surrender.

You stood and straightened your pencil skirt, drawing Dick's eyes to your stocking-clad legs. You swallowed thickly at the heat of his stare and croaked out, "I'm going stop by the storage closet quickly."

He hopped to his feet with the kind of agility you could only dream of. Despite his broad size, he was as lithe as a cat. "I'll come with you."

"Scared you'll actually have to do your work?" You tease as you make your way past empty glass offices and to the closet that was located at the end of the floor. Most everyone was away for lunch or conferences.

"Har har," Dick matched your stride, his long legs eating up the distance in no time. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his ironed slacks. "Am I not allowed to engage in conversation with the prettiest girl in Gotham?"

Pink stained your cheeks at his compliment. It wasn't as if you were constantly being charmed by the man; he seemed to always have flattery on the tip of his tongue.

"I say that because I don't know if you actually do anything when you fill in for Mr. Wayne."

"He doesn't leave much to do. Bruce is always on top of the game when it comes to, well, practically everything." A corner of Dick's lips turned up in fondness for his old man.

You knew they weren't biological father and son, that Dick's parents were incredibly talented acrobats who tragically died when he was young. Bruce Wayne then took in the orphan and raised him, along with three other younger boys, as his own, teaching them the ropes of business and providing them with ample opportunity for schooling and socializing. There was no wonder people envied the Wayne children, often describing them as nepo babies who'd had everything served to them on silver platters. You could only think of how they had deserved this kind of life after enduring what they had before meeting Bruce and being orphaned.

You came to the storage door and pushed it open, flicking on the light switch on the side to illuminate the columns of shelves. You shoved the stopper under the door and ventured inside, reading labels. The room itself wasn't too large, perhaps as long as two Dick Grayson's and as far as half of one.

"Staples, staples, staples..." your finger dragged along the boxes until you found what you needed just as the door closed and locked into place with a decisive click.

Uh oh.

You turned and found Dick mid-step, hand stretched out to the door handle in a just too late attempt. He looked over his shoulder sheepishly. "Oops."

You put down your box of staplers and jiggled the handle with no budging. You sighed. "You'd think that a billionaire would have some type of emergency unlocking system for when his employees accidentally lock themselves in rooms."

Dick leaned a shoulder along the wall, not at all worried as to how you were going to get out. "I doubt any billionaire has time to think of something so specific as that."

Now was most definitely not the time for joking around. You had a fear of confined spaces, and though this room was fairly sizable, you found it hard to find anything funny. You could only think of the walls pressing closer, the lights turning off and leaving you in the all-consuming dark, the chance that no one would find you until hours later, the-

"Hey hey hey!" Dick gripped your shoulders, bringing your eyes to his and your focus to his grounding touch. You hadn't realized your shallow breaths or fidgeting fingers. "Don't be making this worse than it is. We're here together, in a safe place and someone will be along soon to find and help us."

You counted your breathing at his comforting words and nodded slowly. You were sure that if he weren't here with you you would have been slouched against the wall in a panic attack. Thank goodness he liked bugging you.

"Do you have a spare key on you?" you asked, voice hoarse.

He shook his head with a grimace. "No, unfortunately. But..." he fished around in his pockets and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and read it, dark brows furrowed. "I do have this note from Alfred telling me that my underpants are clean."

You couldn't help but laugh at that. Dick joined in, obviously relieved at having made you laugh.

"Look," he moved his large hands up and down your arms in a soothing motion. "We could always play a little game while we wait. Wanna do that?"

Anything to get your mind off things.

A few minutes later and you were both settled on the floor, legs stretched out beside each other and backs leaning against either wall. "You go first," Dick offered.

"Oka-ay. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

You tapped a finger against your chin. What were you most curious about for the boy who had it all? "Does your butler starch your underwear after cleaning them?"

You snickered at his rolling eyes. "Alfred doesn't clean them, thank you very much. And I would have no idea. Besides me wearing them, my underpants are of no concern to me."

"Considering they touch only your junk, they should be only your concern."

"Junk?!" Dick scoffed, "Do not refer to my family jewels as junk!"

"Ew! As if family jewels is any better!"

"Agree to disagree. My 'assets' are far too valuable to be deemed as 'junk'." He huffed, arms crossed over his chest to display bulging biceps. Your mouth might have watered a bit. "Now my turn. Truth or dare?"

"Ummm dare."

"I dare you to kiss me on the cheek."

Your heart stuttered. Had he really just said that?

"I did." He tossed you a self-satisfied smirk to which you wished to kiss—no! smack off! Definitely, obviously smack off!

Alas, you were no chicken, so you crawled forward, hands on either side of his lap, and pressed a kiss to his smoothly shaven cheek. You were close enough to smell the expensive mahogany cologne he wore and feel the heat of him on your lips. You lingered for a second longer, ears twitching at the soft inhale of his breath. It would seem you weren't the only one affected by close contact then.

Once you were safely situated in your previous spot, you asked him the question to which he chose truth again.

"Afraid?" you taunted before continuing. "Why did you choose a kiss?"

At the mention of the kiss, cobalt eyes dropped to your lips, making them tingle. Your moment of haughtiness dissipated and suddenly you weren't so sure of yourself.

Instead of avoiding the question, Dick smiled and you knew you were in for it.

"I like you."

You waited a beat. "Okay?"

He shook his head. "No. I really like you. Like, 'I wanna ask you out on a date' like you."

Not what you expected.

You watched him, dumbfounded before gathering enough with to say, "Why?"

"Because," he chuckled, "you're smart and genuine and very very very pretty."

Wow.

He continued despite your fish-like expression, "Ever since Bruce introduced me to his young, new assistant, I knew you'd be mine. Why do you think I bother you every time I'm in the office? I want to keep me in your head."

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" You weren't sure that he did but who knew with a man as amazing as that.

He motioned you closer and your legs obeyed without proper communication with your mind. You then knelt in front of him, awaiting instruction like a dog with a treat.

Dick didn't disappoint, grabbing your hand and stroking your pulse with his thumb. "Do you know who refreshes the flowers on your desk every Monday?"

You shook your head although you could already tell where this was going. His hand crawled up your arm and curled around your neck softly, tilting your gaze to meet his. His pupils were blown so wide his eyes looked black.

"What about why Bruce has a private driver at your disposal whenever you need?"

Oh.

"And why do you think I've told everyone in this building that you're off-limits?"

You didn't know that but heat was simmering low in your stomach at the confession anyway. You never would have assumed Dick to be possessive and yet he went to the trouble of guarding off any men who might have turned your way?

You weren't thinking rationally as your lips collided with his.

Apparently, neither was he.

The lips you'd often dreamed about kissing were impossibly soft and demanding at the same time. You yielded to his instruction, letting your arms wrap around his shoulders and chest lean against his, enjoying the press of his hardness to your softness.

He whimpered softly, only adding fuel to the fire simmering inside of you, and traced your lips with his tongue, encouraging you to let him in and learn your mouth. You let him in, sighing yourself when his free hand squeezed your backside.

You were near to crawling in his skin when he pulled away from you, albeit reluctantly if his frown was anything to go by. "As much as I'd like to defile you in my father's supply closet," he smiled wryly, lips swollen from your attention, "I would like to take you out on a proper date first."

How could he be any more perfect?

He helped you to your feet, retrieved the box of staples you'd nearly forgotten about, and then brandished a key from his pocket and unlocked the door. You gawked at him, receiving a sheepish smile in turn.

"You had a key the entire time?" you could also spy a suspiciously door stopper shaped lump in his back pocket.

"Kiss and makeup later?"

author's note: muahahaha all the things i'd do to Dick Grayson in a supply closet 😁

divider credit: cursed-carmine

[meatgrinderminefield]

| rough drafting chapter 11 has begun and MAN. chapter got hands. quite literally my last lines written this time but yeeeeeouuuchhhh. glad to be back to my regular flow of writing but OUCH.

taglist - @bi-force-1 @weebsneku @pigeonrocks @elligatorrex @roofgeese @czyzx @isacoremeow @bihanspookies @chadillacboseman @bisexualjohnnycage @butcherlamb @hairyolmen @chaosrealm @johnsbunny

—

“You ain’t fixing anything till we ask Kabal… Surely there’s another way,” Kano’s hand paused on her skin. Warmth radiating between the two of them, watching the blissfully unaware babe whose eyes began to droop. “I’ll go get him… Dunno if we even have any blood left.”

“She’ll be fine for a time, but if we are to travel…” Skarlet’s voice cracked, those tears threatening to return. “We should’ve gone to Earthrealm first… I… Kane, what if I can’t fix her?”

—

[meatgrinderminefield]

turns out it’s a lot harder to come up with a solid design for Kris that isn’t super costume-y.

ANYWAYS. the gang is all here. the heiress cyborg girlson, the clone cowboyson @bi-force-1 , and the sorcerer’s apprentice son who doesn’t actually get a chance to live in the main universe (he will enact his revenge later).

fun fact, Mirage was a character from 2021 who’s gimmick and name has been transferred to something with more plot structure for later.

a wee taglist

@roofgeese @czyzx @weebsneku @pigeonrocks @isacoremeow @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @chadillacboseman @chaosrealm @bihanspookies @lethalonanist @butcherlamb @mids-dumbbrain @elligatorrex

[chwntel]

CASCINA CARADONNA + BRAIDS  

[avatricist]

Dina’s face model, Cascina Caradonna, reacting to a scene between Ellie and Dina in ‘The Last Of Us Part II’. 

[kateofthebd]

Made an aesthetics post for Danny! His is far more melancholic than Kate's lol

Tag List

@voidika @roofgeese @bihanspookies @original-jade @meatgrinderminefield @apepthehero @chewbokachoi @socially-awkward-skeleton @bi-force-1 @statichvm @likesugarandcyanide @confidentandgood @shellibisshe @ashes-onthewind @lasersinthejungle @middlechildwhoescapedthebasement @g0dspeeed @inafieldofdaisies