Uninterested Page, So Please Just Close Ur Window!

Grup of organs and complete shits collected by one and being called human-well-a girl for sure, who really likes to build a kingdom in a dreamland and make a stupidly impossible plots. One hand, also join medens and wishing can be a hand of God to throw off the patologic sympotoms on human's system✌🏻

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Senam wajah berharap segera tirus #gembultapimantul #sayapukul #yangbilanglemakmuncul #yangpentingHidupkuEndul #okeGundul? https://www.instagram.com/p/ByHuYYOnDhRw_M2T3OKeJa4zG9V_QR7N4tEpVc0/?igshid=3f7up5pbi7r6

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Tonigt i feel insecure about my body. Good night😢

Me going to 60kg

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Im getting fat and i cant lose it😭😭

[bilingualplots]

Well, having long legs and being tall and skiny is sexy indeed but being short and lil fat is cute. Noone notice that Im already over 20. Shorter is making you look younger. Proud to be short girl

[bilingualplots]

Peek of Raconteur

Hujan turun dan kami hanya duduk dibalik jendela, menatap tetesan air yang mulai berlomba turun dari ujung jendela kebawah. Semua orang suka hujan, maksudku disaat hujan tiba, disaat itu adalah wajtu yang paling tepat untuk termenung. Memikirkan hal secara acak dan menikmatinya tanpa harus merasakan bahwa ada beban lain yang masih bergelayut dipunggungmu.

"Kupikir kau takut jika hujan turun?" Tanya Harry, dia melirikku sekilas sebelum meneguk coklat panas dicangkirnya.

"Aku takut kalau disertai petir. Aku hanya suka hujan tipis-tipis." Jawabku dan Harry tertawa. "Tipis-tipis? Kurasa maksudmu gerimis."

Aku mengangguk. "Ya, aku hanya lupa."

"Apa kau pernah berfantasi aneh?" Suara Harry memecah keheningan. Aku menatap lurus keluar jendela. Menatap langit jingga dan rentetan air berjatuhan dari langit. Ini benar-benar indah.

"Uhm.. fantasi aneh ya?" Aku berpikir, fokusku tertuju pada hujan dan langit. "Well, aku ingin mencium hujan." Timpalku tanpa mengalihkan pandanganku padanya. "Kau sendiri?"

Kudengar Harry bergumam sejenak. "Fantasi anehku..uhm well," dia diam. "sekarang aku ingin menjadi hujan." Ucapnya yang akhirnya membuatku menarik perhatianku dari pemandangan indah dihadapanku. Menengok ke arah Harry, dan kudapati dirinya yang masih menatap keluar jendela.

[bilingualplots]

Im a kind of girl who loves taking selfies but decide to never post it. Well, that rule is my main thing but that doesnt apply in this web. I mean, who am I going to be ashamed to? No one here. I dont even have follower so I cud post whatever the hell I wanted to post. And in this look, I adore my hair so much. Maybe by this web my kids or grandkids wud know that their mom or their nan is a not that bad.

[bilingualplots]

I cudnt find a word to discribe how thankful i am for this. I mean, yeah its been two months but my mind seems wont set this memory off. And now I’m still awake and cant find something to do but thinking about this. So im posting it, just to remind that I’ve seen him for twice now. Eventho its not that close but still kick my heart hard

[bilingualplots]

(Cont..) Peek of Raconteur

Kurasakan kedua tangannya bertemgger dipinggangku.

"Tapi kau kedinginan."

Diluar aku sudah mendengar suara orang yang bercakap dan aku tahu mereka sudah mencoba menolong kami.

Jemariku bergerak membelai setiap sisi wajahnya hingga jempolku tidak sengaja menyentuh bibirnya. Entah nyali dari mana aku memberanikan diriku untuk membelai bibirnya yang tipis dan lembut itu. Tuhan aku benar-bebar merindukannya.

"Nessa?" Harry berbisik membuatku sedikit terkejut, dengan sigap kualihkan tanganku menjauh lalu berpura-pura mengusapkannya lagi.

"Ya?"

"Kira-kira apa kau akan marah jika aku menciummu?" Aku terdiam, tentu tak tahu apa yang harus kukatakan. Aku sebenarnya tidak keberatan tapi aku tak ingin membuatnya berselingkuh dari wanitanya dan aku pun tak bisa menyakiti Ray. "Nessa?" Harry bersuara lagi.

"Ya?"

"Apa aku bisa menciummu? Tapi jika kau menolak aku juga tak-" menepis segala yang mengusikku, tanganku menarik wajah Harry kemudian dengan segera kuletakkan bibirku diatas bibirnya. Aku tahu ini salah, aku tahu aku telah menyakiti Ray dan membuat Harry menyakiti kekasihnya tapi aku tak bisa menahannya lagi. Aku merindukan pria ini. Aku merindukan celotehnya, leluconnya bahkan amarahnya. Aku merindukan semua tentang dirinya.

[bilingualplots]

(Cont..) Peek of Raconteur

"Bagus Harry. Sekarang aku sangat basah."

Harry malah tertawa. "Kau tertawa?" Dan dia masih tertawa.

"Aku tahu kau ba-sah." Ya Tuhan, tentu saja dia tidak berubah. Pria dengan sejuta imajinasi kotornya.

Aku menepuk kepalaku kemudian kurasakan sesuatu melingkupiku. "Pakai ini, kau akan kedinginan terkena guyuran hujan lift." Bisiknya. Aku terkejut namun tidak menolaknya, membiarkannya memasangkan jasnya ditubuhku.

"Terima kasih." Ucapku juga lirih. "Oh ya, mana ponselmu? Hubungi seseorang untuk menolong kita." Lanjutku.

"Ponselku mati lagipula aku yakin ponselku rusak karena terkena air."

"Jadi? Bagaimana ini? Apa kita akan kehujanan dalam lift seperti ini terus? Kenapa pula liftnya masih digunakan jika memang rusak. Zayn harus menuntut hotelnya karena-"

"Nessa, bantuannya akan datang. Alarmnya juga sudah berbunyi. Aku malah berharap mereka akan lama membukanya." Tambahnya.

"Apa? Kau akan sakit--" kenapa aku terdengar begitu menghawatirkan dirinya? "maksdku kita berdua akan sakit jika terguyur terus seperti ini."

"Aku tidak peduli, yang jelas aku bisa berdua denganmu meski seperti ini." Ucapnya seolah tak ada beban. Aku terdiam. Tak tahu harus berkata apa, dia bertingkah seolah dia tak memiliki wanita lain dan aku sedang tak menjalin sebuah hubungan dengan siapapun.

"Harry.."

"Diamlah Nessa, guyurannya akan berhenti tidak lama lagi." Dia memotongku. Ada keheningan yang membentang diantara kami dan tidak lama kemudian guyurannya berhenti dan disaat bersamaan kurasakan pundakku mendapat beban dan leherku tergelitik oleh rambut. Harry menyandarkan kepalanya dipundakku.

Baru saja ingin protes namun dia lebih dulu menyelaku. "Pinjam bahumu sebentar, sebentar saja." Bisiknya dan disaat bersamaan pula kurasakan tangannya menyelundup dilenganku dan tangan dinginnya kini menggenggam tanganku.

"Disaat seperti ini, tanganmu masih saja hangat." Tangannya menggenggam tanganku erat dan seperti yang kuingat, jempolnya dengan lihai bergerak membelai tanganku.

"Kau kedinginan?" Tanyaku. "Pakai saja jasnya, aku sudah tidak kedinginan lagi."

"Jangan dilepaskan. Biarkan saja."

"Tapi kau akan sakit." Aku berbisik kemudian entah sejak kapan kuberanikan diriku menyandarkan sisi wajahku dipuncak kepalanya.

"Aku tidak peduli, asal bisa seperti ini denganmu aku rela sakit."

"Harry.."

"Aku merindukanmu Nessa." Dia menyelaku lagi. Jantungku tentu saja semakin tak karuan. Pipiku terasa panas dan aku bersyukur tak ada penerangan disini hingga aku tak perlu menyembunyikan wajah merah padamku.

Untuk beberapa lama, hanya ada keheningan yang melingkupi kami.

"Kenapa kau merokok?" Harry memecahkan keheninganx "Nessa yang kukenal hidup sehat sepanjang masa, bahkan akan menguburku hidup-hidup jika aku merokok dihadapannya."

Aku mengelak. "Aku tidak merokok. Yang benar saja."

"Oh benarkah? Aku tak tahu dokter sialan itu mengisap rokok wanita." Bisiknya. Aku tak bisa lagi mengelak sekarang.

Kuhela napasku panjang. "Aku jauh lebih rileks dan.. entahlah, waktu tidurku berkurang saat aku merokok." Jawabku jujur. Kurasakan bahu Harry bergerak turun seolah baru menghela napasnya.

"Tapi bukannya itu tak baik, kau adalah dokter jadi kau jauh lebih tahu mengenai hal itu. Jangan terlalu memaksakan diri, kau juga butuh istirahat."

"Aku tahu."

"Jadi, jangan merokok lagi, okay?" Ucap Harry lirih. Sepertinya dia benar-benar sakit, jika tidak, dia akan memberitahuku dengan cara keras bahkan meneriakiku. "Aku sedang tidak mood untuk memarahimu sekarang." Timpalnya seolah tahu apa yang kupikirkan.

"Nessa.." panggil Harry lembut.

"Ya?"

"Jangan merokok lagi okay?" Pintanya untuk kedua kalinya. "Berjanjilah padaku."

"Iya."

"Ngomong-ngomong, kau sangat cantik hari ini. Aku suka gaunmu tapi sayangnya terlalu terbuka." Dari nada suaranya aku tahu mulutnya membentuk lengkungan kebawah. Aku hanya diam karena membahas pakaian dengan Harry sangatlah tidak menyenangkan.

"Bagaimana kabarmu?" Dia bertanya, untuk kedua kalinya.

"Baik. Kau sudah menanyakannta tadi."

Harry membenarkan posisi kepalanya. "Apa dia baik? Dia tidak menyakitimukan?"

"Siapa?"

"Dokter bodoh itu." Dia menambahkan.

Aku hanya menggeleng. "Kau sendiri? Kenapa kau meninggalkan £:&/& dibawah?"

"Aku lelah, kepalaku sedikit pening."

"Kalau begitu kau pakai jas ini, kau pasti terlalu lelah dan seperti ini akan membuat kesehatanmu tergoyah. Kau harus-"

"Aku baik-baik saja bu dokter. Kau berlebihan. Aku malah jauh lebih baik seperti ini." Dari suaranya aku tahu sekarang dia tengah menyeringai.

Aku menghela napasku panjang kemudian mengangkat kepalaku dari nya. "Mana tanganmu?"

"Hm?" Harry bergumam.

"Kemarikan tanganmu yang satu." Perintahku kemudian dengan cepat dipatuhi Harry. Aku meraih sebelah tangannya yang saat ini sudah sangat dingin. Kemudian mengusapnya diantara kedua telapak tanganku. Berharap dengan ini dia merasa jauh lebih hangat.

"Kau memang cocok menjadi seorang dokter, tanganmu saja sudah mampu memberi kehangatan." Dia menambahkan. Aku memilih diam dan fokus dengan tangannya yang dingin.

Setelah itu tanganku kuusap, menggesekkannya bersamaan lalu menempelkannya disisi wajahnya yang dingin. Kurasakan kontraksi wajahnya membentuk sebuah senyuman dan kurasakan pula lesung pipinya ditelapak taganku.

"Kau masih dingin?"

"Sedikit." Ujarnya. Lalu ku miringkan tubuhku menyuruhnya mengangkat kepalanya kemudian kuusap tanganku kembali dan menempelkannya disisi wajahnya yang lain. Kuulangi lagi dan kutempelkan tanganku dikedua sisi wajahnya.

"Nessa aku baik-baik saja."

[bilingualplots]

Peek of Raconteur

Aku berjalan memasuki gedung, menarik sisi gaunku kemudian menggerakan kakiku semakin cepat melangkah tak karuan dengan heels saat melihat pintu lift yang nyaris tertutup. "Tunggu.." teriakku layaknya tarzan dan sukses membuatku jadi bahan tontonan. Sialan.

Napasku berhembus legah saat pintu lift kembali terbuka dan tepat kepalaku mendongak disaat itu pula jantungku berdetak tak karuan melihat sosok pria dihadapanku. Pria dengan setelan jas hitam yang tak terkancing, kemeja yang senada dengan luarannya namun terbuka disisi atas menampakka tato burung yang bersembunyi. Wajahnya menatapku tanpa ekspresi, keningnya menyerngit sedikit, rambutnya tersusun berantakan membuat wanita manapun tergoda untuk menjambaknya. Rahang tegasnya membuat bibir siapapun berdenyut ingin hinggap disana.Sialan. Fantasi macam apa ini?

Demi Tuhan.. Haruskah aku berada dalam satu lift dengannya? Dari sekian banyak orang kenapa aku harus dipertemukan dengan pria ini ditempat seperti ini dan disituasi yang canggung seperti sekarang.

Aku berdehem sejenak, berupaya keras agar terlihat tak terusik lebih parahnya terihat gugup berada didekatnya. Aku benar-benar beruntung karena ada seorang wanita paruh baya dengan seorang anak kecil yang terus bersiul didalam lift sehingga suasana tak secanggung seharusnya.

"Hey.." oh sialan, dia menyapa. Aku mendongak memberanikan diriku untuk menatap mata hijaunya dan disaat bersamaan siulan dari anak itu berhenti.

Aku berdehem lagi, alih-alih suaraku tersangkut sama seperti pandanganku tersangkut pada bibirnya. Oh Nessa. Hentikan.

"Hey.. uhm kita bertemu lagi." Sungguh? Kita bertemu lagi? Kalimat apa itu? Bagus Nessa, cara yang baik untuk membuat suasana semakin canggung.

"Lantai berapa?" Tanyanya.

Oh tentu saja, aku lupa memencet tombonya. "Dua puluh dua." Ucapku lirih berharap liftnya langsung melompat ke lantai dua puluh dua. Baru ingin memencet tombolnya namun Harry mendahuluiku.

"Terima kasih." Balasku, Harry tersenyum menampakkan lesung pipinya dan menaikkan sebelah alisnya seolah dia sengaja menggodaku. Tuhan aku sangat merindukannya. Apa salah jika aku melompat ke arahnya, memeluknya, melingkarkan kakiku dipinggangnya kemudian memakannya habis sementara tanganku bermain dirambut geritingnya? Oh brengsek. Hentikan Nessa.. atau kau akan malu dan menyesalinya.

Suara lift berdenting dan aku menengok ke atas pintu lift yang menampakkan angka dua kemudian ibu tadi bersama anaknya melangkah keluar, anak laki-laki itu menoleh ke arahku dan Harry kemudian dia mengeluarkan jari tengahnya. Apa-apan ini?

"Apa dia baru saja memberiku jari tengah?" Aku menganga, anak itu terlihat baik dengan rambutnya yang rapi dan kardigan yang dia kenakan tapi kenapa dia memberiku jari tengah? Apa salahku?

Harry menginterupsi pikiranku. "Tidak, itu tertuju padaku, bukan padamu."

"Tapi kenapa? Kau apakan anak itu?"

"Aku hanya memukul ujung telinganya dengan telunjuk."

Untuk sesaat aku terdiam mencoba membayangkan dirinya yang melakukan hal itu pada anak tadi. Tapi aku tidak habis pikir, anak itu tidak mengomel atau melapor perbuatan Harry pada ibunya. Jika aku jadi anak itu, aku akan pura-pura menangis karena kesakitan agar Harry mendapat imbasnya. Tapi yang terjadi malah dia memberi jari tengah sebagai balasan.

Aku tertawa. Menengok ke arah Harry dia tersenyum, memamerkan gigi taringnya, bayangan dirinya yang suka mengigit kecil bibirku terporyeksi sejenak di pikiranku. Sialan.

"Kau idiot, kenapa kau harus memukul telinganya?"

Dia memutar tubuhnya menyamping lalu mengendikkan bahunya. "Aku hanya merasa risih, siulannya sangat buruk."

"Kau beruntung dia tidak melapormu ke ibunya."

"Aku tidak peduli. Beruntung karena dia hanya berhenti dilantai dua, jika kamarnya lebih jauh mungkin aku harus melakukan hal lebih nekat untuk mengusirnya."

Aku semakin tertawa, memegang perutku. Bayangan dirinya menarik dalaman anak itu entah mengapa terbesit dipikiranku. Dan entah mengapa pula aku tertawa, harusnya aku merasa prihatin.

"Hal nekat seperti apa?" Tanyaku disela-sela tawaku.

Dia melipat kedua bibirnya kedalam seraya menggaruk dagunya dengan telunjuknya. "Uhm seperti menciummu?"

Mendengar ucapannya tawaku dengan tiba-tiba teredam, aku berkedip beberapa kali mencoba menyadari ucapannya. Dan yah aku sadar, dia mengatakan menciumku bukan? Jauh dalam diriku merutukinya karena tidak melakukannya saja.

Apa? Sialan. Tidak. Aku tidak boleh menciumnya. Aku tidak mungkin lupa dengan wanita yang pergi bersamanya dipesta Zayn tadi.

Aku berdehem setelah cukup lama ada spasi keheningan. Melihat wajah Harry aku tahu dia menyesali ucapannya. Aku tahu dia baru sadar bahwa dia memiliki seorang wanita. Dan disinilah aku berusaha untuk tidak terusik dengan fakta itu.

"Well.. aku berharap--maksudku aku uhm liftnya akan segera terbuka." Ucapku yang awalnya mencoba menepis kecanggungan namun nyatanya aku nyaris mengatakan aku berharap dia menciumku--oh sialan. Lebih bodohnya karena peralihanku jauh terdengar lebih buruk. Lantas kenapa jika pintu liftnya mau terbuka?

Aku memiringka tubuhku karena sepertinya Harry tidak akan merespon ucapanku. Memunggunginya adalah cara terbaik untuk tidak memperparah suasana. Cepat atau lambat pintu lift ini akan terbuka dan aku akan keluar dan kami akan melupakan kecanggungan ini.

Kenapa pula dia harus mengatakan dia ingin menciumku? Dia sendiri yang membuat suasana berspasi seperti ini.

Tanganku masuk kesaku tasku mencoba mencari apapun, seolah aku mencari sesuatu agar tidak terlihat aneh berdiri menatap pintu lift layaknya orang idiot. Tanganku menemukan sebuah korek gas. Aku mengeluarkannya kemudian memutar-mutarnyan ditanganku. Dari sudut mataku aku melihat Harry yang bermain dengan ponselnya. Oh sialan, kenapa aku harus melupakan ponselku di kamar?

Aku mendengus lalu kembali memutar-mutar korek ditanganku, melemparnya kemudian menangkapnya, melemparnya lagi namun lemparannya keluar dari jangkauanku hingga membuatku sedikit bergeser untuk menggapainya. Kakiku yang terpasang dengan heels ikut refleks melangkah namun gaunku cukup sempit hingga membuatku hilang kendali dan keseimbangan. Aku terengah dan akhirnya jatuh ke samping namun aku malah mendarat ditubuh kekar seseorang. Ditubuh besar Harry yang dibalut setelan jas hitam. Korekku sudah jatuh kelantai bersamaan dengan ponsel milik Harry.

Oh sialan. Kenapa ini harus terjadi?

Posisiku saat ini tengah menyamping, kedua tangan Harry melingkup tubuhku kakiku sementara kedua tanganku menarik kera jasnya. Aroma maskulin dirinya tentu saja menyeruak langsung ke indra penciumanku membuat semua memori tentang dirinya terlepas dari kotaknya dan berkeliaran dikepalaku.

"Kau baik-baik saja?"

"Hah?"

"Kau baik-baik saja N?" Harry mengulang. Bukannya aku tidak mendengarnya, aku hanya terkejut. Bukan terkejut karena aku nyaris terkilir dan memebenturkan kepalaku kelantai tapi fokusku seolah terenggut akibat posisiku saat ini ditambah aroma tubuh Harry.

"Aku.." ucapanku terpotong saat Harry menggunakan telunjuknya menyentuh pundakku, bukan dengan sengaja tapi untuk membenarkan posisi gaunku yang berantakan. Oh Tuhan, sentuhannya memberiku tenaga listrik yang langsung berefek pada jantungku seolah konduksi jantungku tak lagi berasal dari satu sumber namun berbagai sumber, berkat sentuhan kecilnya. Sialan.

Dengan sigap aku membenarkan posisiku dan kembali berpijak pada kedua kakiku. Harry menunduk mengambil korekku dan ponselnya namun disaat bersamaan lift berguncang membuatku hilang keseimbangan lalu kembali mendarat pada Harry yang kini terduduk dilantai.

Oh apa-apaan ini? Apa ini akal-akalannya membuat lift berguncang dan membuat kami saling menindih lagi?

Lampu lift kemudian berkedip mati kemudian menyala dan akhirnya benar-benar mati.

"Oh sialan. Ada apa ini?" Gumamku pada diriku sendiri kemudian mencoba menarik tubuhku dari Harry.

"Apa ini ulahmu?" Suara Harry menginterupsi.

"Apa?"

"Kau sengaja menjatuhkan tubuhmu padaku kemudian membuat lift rusak lalu kembali menindihku." Dia tertawa. "Kau merindukanku?"

Apa?!

"Merusak lift? Aku? Hal yang terakhir kuinginkan adalah berada dalam lift bersamamu! Dan lagi, aku tidak menjatuhkan tubuhku dengan sengaja. Kau pikir aku ingin melukai diriku dengan sengaja?" Ucapku sinis. "Ha-ha. Pikiran aneh."

Dari sini aku dapat mendengar suara tawa kecilnya, meski dalam kegelapan aku dapat membayangkan wajah jahilnya sekarang. "Mengakulah Nessa. Aku tahu kau ingin memelukku. Bilang saja, aku bersedia memelukmu kapan saja."

"Oh sialan. Demi Tuhan--" ucapanku terhenti saat sumber cahaya muncul disisi kananku. Dia menyalakan koreknya. Oh sungguh?

"Apa yang kau lakukan?!" Dengan sigap aku meniup koreknya membuat penerangan sirna disaat bersamaan aku mendengar Harry berdecak kesal. "Kau bodoh? Kau akan membuat asap dan yang ada air akan keluar--" dan yah alarm berbunyi dan kurasakan rintikan air berjatuhan dikepalaku.

[bilingualplots]

Kuda berkalung donat. Its me.

[bilingualplots]

This was at my hometown. People call it "bukit teletubbies" cause it seems like it. It was quite a view but to go here you need to be ready for a long drive and a long walk.

[thedailystyles]

After meeting him, I experienced what a special vibe he has—he’s a rare breed, a truly cool, magnetic personality.

Jeff Bhasker talking about Harry (via thedailystyles)

[bilingualplots]

They are my two chicks. These was taken before we walked through the gate of the stadium and some selfies of us waiting the stars. Our stars to come up to the stage. The girl in black was Mia, the girl with sweater was Nadya or Lia and the girl who always in the middle with overall is me:) Ps. This was one of the best nights of my life.

[bilingualplots]

That concert crazy me!

Well, short-long story. I am a huge and mega fan of one direction but actually I fond of Harry the most. The curly, green eyed member. I’ve been the fan from a long ago. I had been their concert once, when they came to did some tour on my country. I was crazy as hell and excited for that. That time, I was a freshman year of college and it was hell, sleepless and tiring period especially when you join in medical department. No time to play, going around even in a weekend sometimes you have lectures and have to do some shits. So it challenged me to go to that concert. I didnt know my schedule when the concert held. But I bought the tickets anyway. I got the vip tickets well I bought it from my own money. No, I didnt work or earn money I mean I dont have time to do that. That money was from scholarships I got. I spent the whole money for the concert without even thinking. I was so glad I didnt spent the money yet cause before I knew that One Direction would held a concert, I was planning to buy some woman things to spend that money.

My senior high school friend who also adore One Direction, asked me to go to the concert together. I agreed of course cause the concert didnt held on my city its miles away from the city I lived but still It didnt down me at all.

So I gave it all to my friend. Nadya–well but I call her Lia. She bought the tickets, I just needed to transferred the money to her. And yup. We got the freaking tickets. Yeay!

Days after days went. And it was a couple days from the day of the concert. And guess what, a day before the concert I was going to have a test. Practice test. Shit man. I was crazy I even wanted to cry but I decided to stay cool. The test’s day began, I finished the test and felt good cause the test went well. It was over around four or five in the evening and guess what again? my plane fly at six and I hadn’t even packed my things. I just had one shirt in my mind, the shirt that written “Harry Styles’s wife” that I was going to wear for the concert.

After doing the test, my lecturer suprised me by saying she wanted to say something so we have to wait her. And the clock was never stop and it taunt me in every seconds it ticked. My friend, Lia had been calling me all the time and all I could do was just make her calm her tits.

My lecturer was so long and I just couldn’t stand it. So I decided to just go and didnt mind it. I was just guessing that she wont even checked the list of attendance. I drove the car so fast to my home and pick my things. It felt so relived when I arrived at home and find my mom help me to packed my things.

My dad drove me to the airport and when I was on my way, my classmate called me. I pick the call and she sounded like she was wispering. My heart beaten so fast when she said that the lecturer was calling us one by one and check the list of attendance. I was freak out cause I didnt want my lecturer missunderstood and think that I dont attend the test. But what can I do. I was on my way to airport and my plane was flying in half hour.

When I arrived at airport I was acting crazy and run to my senior high school friend. My mom and hers doing the mom’s thing. Kissing cheeks, hugging in mother way and all.

We said good by to our mothers and passed the gates, my phone was ringing and I pick it up found massage from my classmate said that the lecturer had stopped calling the students name right before my names turn. Maybe two couple of name left until my name called but she decided to just stop and say that she believed all the students attended the class. And bye that, I thanked God. It was like God indeed had planned that I was allowed to go to the concert and meet my idola.

I and Lia, we both arrived around 8 night or 9 I’m not so sure, and we got picked by my other friend who also wanted to go to the concert. Her name was Mia. She lived in Bandung cause she studied there and what another lucky I got was Mia’s mom treated us by booked two rooms in a hotel near GBK (the place that held the concert) and not only rooms, she also sent someone to guide us around the city with car, so we didnt have to use public transportation and all, pluss I could save my money.

We checked in and going to the room directly. My friend Mia thought that Lia wanted to bring her friend so Mia booked two rooms but Lia’s friend cancelled and sold the ticket to stranger.

Three of us stayed in the same room cause Mia was scared to stay alone in the other room. And yes that one room was useless. At midnight we decided to order food, we chose Bonchon but ended up ordered KFC cause Bochon didnt pick the call, I assumed it was already close.

The delivered man was so long and we ended up sleeping until he arrived and I didnt realize the delivered man already standing in front of our room for maybe hours. I’m not sure how long. I took the money and handed it to him. Said sorry multiple times for making him wait for too long. We didnt forget to give more tips for the mistake we made.

We ended up ate the food maybe at 2 or 3 in the morning and go back to sleep with leftovers which I ate at 6 in the morning and went back to sleep again. I know you felt disgust but I dont care. I’m still alive any way.

We wake up at almost 10 in the morning and rushed to lobby to take our breakfast. Cause it was closed if it was up 10 morning.

After that, we decided to get ready. We went to change the voucher to the real ticket. When we arrived at ticket changer, we saw so much people I mean really much people who queued to change tickets like us. We were like going to die standing in a very long line, stress out until securty came and asked us to show our voucher. Lia took it from her bag and that security told us that vip gate wasnt where we stand. He took Lia to the other gates and went through and disappeared. I and Mia waited outside cause it wasnt allowed us to come, the three ticket was named by Lia and her guess so she had to take it by her self.

I took a seat with Mia and not to long after sitting, Lia came from that gates with big smile and tickets along with the handband in her hand. Gosh! I couldn’t believe I was on my way to see my Idola. The Idola that I only see through the glass of television, laptop or phone. And in some hours later, I was going to meet him and inhale the same air with them.

Dont tell me that Im so naiff or Lame cause I’m not. You dont know how it feels when you finally got to meet the people who gave you so much changed. In a better way. I mean, without fangirling 1D I would probably doesnt speak or write english things like now, like this, or I couldn’t knew or have friends abroad or anything else. This fangirling made me alive. So just shut the hell up and dont judge me.

The concert would be held on 7 evening and it was like 12 afternoon when we had done change the voucher into real freaking tickets. So we decided to go to mall cause Mia need to buy some clothes. We arrived to the Mall, I foget what Mall and going to Zara. Mia and Nadya bought shirt, well Mia bought bunch of clothes and a couple of pants and if I’m not mistaken she bought a couple of shoes too. In Zara I met some famous people who always showed in local tv. Such a Najwa, the owner of Mata Najwa show or some of Ftv actor, I was not sure who, cause I didnt pay attention to them. It was just Lia who said that.

After that, Mia still went through the shop find something else to buy. I didnt know what it is. So me and Lia decided to just go around the mall, we stopped to buy some ice cream and at CD shop. I bought two cd of one direction and some books of it while Lia was busy to take pictures from the architecture of the Mall and all. Yes, she is that girl who are great with pencil, pen and all, drawing and made house in a paper. Architecture people said.

After that we went back to hotel, we decided to have lunch, wanted to have delivery again but Lia againts it so we went to the restaurant near the hotel and had some yakiniku. After that we went back to the hotel and had some rest until we wake up in the evening maybe it seven and it was so late, so we prepared as fast as possible.

We ended up arrive at 8 night with clearer way to the gates. Cause people is already in the stadium. I know. We were late. It was sucks!

Then, we ran before that I bought some bandana with a light in it and some small posters. We went to the gates. I bought mineral waters which was so expensive but I didnt mind at all cause I was thirsty and It was impossible to go out for just a bottle of mineral water.

We went through the door the vip seat and saw tons of people. I didnt see any seat at all so we went out and take the other door. I saw the yellow area and already knew it was Vvip seat cause I saw some famous people there too, like actor and singers of my country. we got exactly three seat right besode the vvip area and it was so good for view. We got another lucky again.

Another of another lucky we got was the stars hadnt come out yet. The stage still play some song from 5Sos and play the commercials tour of 1D itself. We didnt late.

And time flies I grew crazy on my head. Shit. I cant stand my self I was so nervous, they always played us by act like the stars was going out but actually no. And it was getting crazier when we saw Niall run across and went back to the backstage. There was so much noise and loud that made me goosebumps. Until that time, that time i couldn’t forget until now. That time when I cried, shit dont judge me for being so exaggerated cause I did admit that I had this fascinated and butterflies feeling.

One direction came out, with the intro of Clouds. I was screaming like crazy until some bodyguards who suited like army looked at me like seriously girl?! But I didnt care at all.

I jumped and scream along the song and all very time Harry great in my way I scream again and said that, those greating were belong to me like he looked at me directly. I didnt even put single care when some girls gave disgusted look. I just enjoyed the show.

All I did was cry and scream along to the song and thats all, I didint even care to record cause I was just to happy and need to enjoy the music and show. Lia was screaming like me, but she scream for Liam and I scream for Harry. Then Mia was so crazy with Zayn but yes, Zayn didnt come up to the show. But still she loves 1D maybe Niall, I think.

We sang along didnt mind our bag which were in the seat, possibly could be stolen anytime but I didnt care. All my focus went on the staege, I couldnt even wanted to blink. Gosh! That was so amazing, I could feel my heart beating so hard right now writing this thing.

After that, I couldn’t tell you the details of the concert cause it will need the whole day to write it. All you have to know is directioner are crazy, I never stop to get goosebumps cause the crowd never stop to sing along the star on the stage. Even Liam and Niall admitted our noises was so loud than other. Aside from that, all I could feel was joy, happiness, exited, crazy, amazed and some kind of that been mixed make my body turn, my eyes burned from crying. Happy crying.

We went back at 12 night and directly to the airport cause my plane flight on 1.45. We arrived at maybe 1. I both with Lia said goodbye to Mia, shared hugs and kisses then left. We waited for 45 minutes. When I was waiting I was so tired from the jumping and screaming so I decided to lay down at the chair, didnt care about people looked like I was grazy girl who lay to the 3 seats.

I close my eyes but interupted by Lia who screamed like hell. I asked her why and she answered me by saying that Zayn left the group. Officially. I didnt believe her until she showed me the statement on official facebook of 1D it self. I was shocked cause I love Zayn. He’s good and had the highest note from all.

But yup. It didnt bother me that much cause all I loved was about Harry who is still in 1d until now.

We landed on my city right about 5.30 morning. I was rushed cause I had to go to school 7 cause there this assistant of lecturer who was scared and I just couldn’t be late. My father picked me and I couldn’t go because I didnt want to left Lia alone. Until her father come up so I went back home asked my dad to rush.

Arrived at home I run to my room and had a fastes bath of my life. Rush to the school. I was so glad I didnt late and some of my friend was late. They were shocked saw me sitting on my chair. I mean, last night was the best night I’ve ever spent and here I was going school and all.

Yes that was amazing. I know.

Oh yeah. Not forget another crazier that happened. Lia, my friend was having final test at the exact day of the concert. And no one expect what she did, that was.. she asked her friend to pretend to be her and doing her test.

Yah that was crazier than me. But she ended up passed the final test well.

[bilingualplots]

Tb at this. A half hour before this pic was taken is the scariest yet amazing thing happenned. I know its kind of lame to post but I need to mark and keep the pic save that I’ve doing the job well. Not that I got the degree, well I mean not yet. Yes, I took the this pic but one step closer people say. Way to make woman and man who help me born and stood in this heaven of earth. Just aamiin for that.

[mypenleaksiridescence]

Depression is an ocean and sometimes people just don’t know how to swim.

(via mypenleaksiridescence)

This is lit!