Through old worn out poems,
I realized it was the pain that made me seek enlightenment,
That I was sick of being unhappy
the tape wasnt sticking any more.
People don’t change untill their coughing out blood,
Staring at the stars lifelessly,
Blood splattered the leather sits
Wondering when I’ll just give up and fade into the haze,
That escaped this crooked smile,
For all the wrong reasons.
I remember sleeping in my car atop cathedral ledge,
Laying there in the back sit,
Wondering if I’ll ever have a place to call home,
Wondering if this sadness would stop,
Or will it consume this bag of flesh that I was beginning to loathe,
Trying to capture these days on paper,
So I could remember this part of my journey.
I thought the sadness would never stop,
But I remember driving down the
kancamagus highway one day
WIth my heart on the dashboard,
Pulling my car on the side of the road,
on the hood of my DeVille ,
The reds and yellows bleeding across the horizon..
And for a second I was content,
I was loving the wrong people,
That the promises I made,
Were already broken and yet I refused to accept that they left me
That my job was to stand by just in case I was need,
Makes me sick to my stomach now,
to know all the time I’ve wasted,
On those that never deserved it.
I told myself I won’t give up on this life
That I would fight for myself,
That I would never again let another,
human control my emotions,
To never breathe another promise
That I learn to be happy on my own.
For a few months I lived in my car,
Staying In empty parking lots staring at the lights that hide the stars from me,
Deciding to give my life to stars,
Even to this day i’ve yet to find a place to call home.
But I know one day I will.
romaincrisis
theartofmadeline
annaxmalina
areudirty
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