bilzeils

is it better to speak or to die?

[bilzzeils]

location off (G!P)

parings: dealer!billie x sneakylink!reader

synopsis: billie turns off her location while her girlfriend is asleep and picks you up at 2 am for stolen time together in an empty parking lot.

warnings: cheating, p in v, & unprotected sex

a/n: i have so many ideas rn so im trynna do them all before school starts and the billie fic drought happens again 👀

it’s past 2 am when you’re about to go to bed.

billie: come outside

you pull on your hoodie and slip out. her black audi is at the curb with the headlights off with just the soft glow of the dashboard showing as she leans over and pops the passenger door for you.

you get in and you can already smell the weed on her.

“hi beautiful” she whisperers.

she’s in her pro club hoodie with her eyes looking tired and her phone is facedown on her lap and you ask her.

“doesn’t she have your location?”

“nah i turned it off” she says quietly pulling away from your house “plus she’s already asleep and she’s a deep sleeper”

she drives with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on your thigh. she doesn't turn on music it's just the sound of the AC and the road.

“where are we going?” you ask.

“our spot baby”

5 minutes later she pulls into an empty walmart parking lot the one with the flickering ‘walmart’ sign.

she sighs and lowers her side window a little then opens the center console rolling herself a blunt. she takes a slow drag and blows it out the window.

you shift in your seat and swing your legs over laying them across her lap going on your phone to show her a coach purse you want knowing she always spoils you.

“look isn’t it cute” you turn the phone to show her a picture of it from the website.

“didn’t i already buy you a coach bag” she says thumb tracing over your shins as she continues smoking.

“yeah but this one’s pink”

she grabs your phone and pulls out her wallet then puts in her card information.

she hands you back the phone “there” she says, she leans down and kisses your knee softy and unhurried.

you crawl into her lap straddling her hips grabbing her blunt and taking a hit before turning it off in her ashtray. her hands immediately go to your waist then slide up your shirt resting just below your breast.

she kisses you like she was starving like she was thinking about this all day while trying to act normal at home.

you pull back just enough to breathe and she chases you kissing you again then again her forehead bumping into yours.

“backseat?” she pulls away breathing hard almost pleading.

you both get in the backseat. billie lays you down on the seats hovering over you still kissing you then she slides her colds fingers down to your thighs and unbuckles your shorts sliding them off and tossing them on the ground.

her phone rings

buzz

buzz

buzz

she kisses her teeth pulling out her phone from her pocket then showing you the screen.

sophie 💗

“do i answer?” billie asks.

“it’s your girlfriend”

she lets it ring and kisses down your stomach to your thighs as your fingers tangle in her hair. she slides off your underwear while you take off your shirt.

"god” she whispers almost like it hurts "you're gonna kill me”.

you kiss her again pulling her into you by her belt and tugging at her jeans.

“someones eager” she teases

“i don’t see you complaining though”

you start working on her jeans again while she presses her lips to your neck sucking gently then she kicks off her jeans leaving her in her boxers.

her boxers slip down her legs as she discards them.

her cock springs free.

you start spreading your legs wider for her as she hovers over you stroking her cock. she pushes it toward your entrance sinking in between your wet folds. you gasp feeling the head of her cock slowly enter you. she fills you up groaning louder with every inch that enters you.

“fuck” she says breathing hard.

she sinks deeper until her hips press flush against yours the full length of her cock buried inside you. her forehead drops to yours as she lets out a shaky breath giving you a second to adjust to the stretch.

she groans into your neck and picks up the pace hips snapping harder and the wet sound of her fucking you filling the car.

just before she tips over she pulls out wrapping a fist around her cock and stroking fast as she comes with a broken moan shooting out thick ropes of cum striping across your stomach and up toward your chest.

[bilzzeils]

invisible man

synopsis: on tour your religious guilt and attraction to Billie finally breaks

warnings: heavy internalized homophobia,religious trauma, oral sex (reader receiving), emotional distress during and after sex

a/n: this is the first time i’ve put warnings and i put them for a reason 👀

it’s the third week of tour and the bus already feels too small.

odessa’s sprawled across the lounge with her legs over quens lap scrolling through her phone and occasionally reading captions out loud just to get a reaction while alex is half asleep in one of the bunks with headphones on.

a couple of the guys from the crew are playing cards at the table talking over each other billie is sitting on the floor with her back against the couch knees up with a half empty can next to her. you’re next to her close enough that your shoulder keeps brushing hers every time the bus hits a bump.

you’ve been careful all week smiling when people look and laughing at the right times while pretending the way your stomach drops every time billie looks at you is normal friend shit it isn’t working anymore.

quen glances over and smirks “you two are being weird again”

odessa doesn’t even look up “they’re always weird it’s their whole thing”

billie doesn’t answer she just stares at the side of your face like she’s waiting for you to say something first but you don’t.

you get up and walk to the back of the bus and climb into an empty top bunk needing air that didn’t smell like her perfume.

a minute later billie joins you sliding in next to you “you’re spiraling” she says looking at you.

“i’m fine”

“you’re not you’ve been looking at me like you hate me the whole tour”

“i don’t hate you” you say because you don’t you could never hate her.

“then what is it?” she asks pleading for an answer

the words come out before you can stop them.

“i want you and i hate that i want you is that what you needed to hear?”

billie’s face doesn’t change much but something in her eyes hardens “yeah that’s exactly what I needed to hear actually”

the bus hits another bump someone laughs loud odessa’s voice carries “leave them alone they’re fighting again”

you lower your voice but it still comes out raw “i keep thinking this is dirty like i’m disappointing god every single time i let myself want this like i’m choosing hell over him”

billie stares at you for a long second then she lets out a short humorless laugh.

“god” she repeats like the word tastes bad “you really think there’s some guy in the sky keeping score of who you fuck?”

“don’t mock him”

“why not he’s not here i am” her voice is low and sharp “you’re so busy worrying about some invisible man who supposedly made you and then decided half of what you feel is disgusting”

your eyes sting “you don’t understand what it’s like to grow up hearing that this is an abomination that people like me are broken that if i give in i’m throwing away everything good”

“i understand you’re using him as an excuse to keep hating yourself” she shoots back “if god is real and he made you like this then either he’s cruel or the people who told you that were full of shit pick one. but stop making me the enemy for wanting you”

the silence after that is thick you can still hear the others in the front with odessa laughing at something and alex’s muffled music playing through his headphones.

“i’m not going to keep doing this with you if you’re just going to hate yourself after” she says “but I’m also not going to pretend I don’t want you and I’m not going to pretend your god gets a vote”

you open your mouth to argue again and she kisses you instead.

it’s not soft it’s frustrated and a little angry and so familiar it makes your chest ache you kiss her back harder than you mean to hands fisting in the front of her hoodie even as the voice in your head starts screaming that this is the moment you cross the line you can never uncross.

billie closes the curtain and clothes come off in the dark and small space she kisses down your neck then your collarbone and the center of your chest when she settles between your legs you tense hard thighs trying to close on instinct because the second her mouth gets close the guilt crashes in so heavy you can barely breathe.

she looks up at you with one hand resting on your bare thigh thumb stroking slow.

“you still with me?”

you nod even though your throat is tight and the shame is already climbing like poison you feel filthy before she’s even touched you properly you feel like you’re choosing this over god over everything you were raised to believe over the version of yourself that used to pray for this feeling to go away.

she doesn’t rush she kisses the inside of your thigh first open mouthed then higher dragging her tongue along the soft skin until your hips twitch against your will she spreads you open with her fingers looking for a second like she’s memorizing you then she puts her mouth on you.

the first long slow lick makes your breath hitch loud enough that billie’s hand comes up immediately covering your mouth her eyes flick toward the curtain you nod against her palm breathing hard eyes already burning.

she keeps going flat tongue dragging through your folds then focusing on your clit with firm and steady pressure.

she sucks lightly then harder then soft again learning what makes your thighs start to shake one of her hands stays on your hip holding you down so you can’t twist away the other slides under you two fingers teasing your entrance without pushing in yet.

you’re already wet enough that the sound of her mouth on you is obscene in the quiet bunk every time a particularly loud laugh comes from the lounge you freeze but billie just presses closer her tongue working deeper like she’s daring the whole bus to notice.

the guilt doesn’t leave it multiplies it sits on your chest like a weight whispering that this is the worst thing you’ve ever done that you’re throwing away your soul for a few minutes of feeling wanted.

tears slip out of the corners of your eyes and track into your hair you try to stay quiet and fail every wet sound of her mouth on you feels like proof that you’re already damned because you’re enjoying this and that’s the thing you hate the most.

the shame is so loud it almost drowns out the pleasure but not quite she slides two fingers inside you while her mouth stays locked on your clit the stretch makes you moan into her hand and the sound makes you hate yourself more she curls them searching and when she finds the spot that makes your back arch she stays there rubbing in tight circles while she sucks.

she doesn’t stop until you’re twitching and trying to push her away oversensitive and shaking then she stays between your legs for a few seconds after breathing against your soaked skin pressing soft open mouthed kisses to the inside of your thigh like she’s trying to soothe something she knows she can’t fix.

billie crawls back up carefully she doesn’t kiss you right away instead she wipes at the tears on your face with her thumb expression softer than it’s been all night she pulls the thin blanket over both of you and gathers you against her chest one arm tight around your back, the other hand stroking slow through your hair.

you press your face into her neck and the words come out broken

“i feel so disgusting i feel like i just”

you try to find the words.

“like i don’t know how to come back from this like i chose this over everything i was supposed to be like i’m never going to be clean again”

billie holds you tighter she doesn’t try to argue with the guilt this time she just keeps her hand moving steadily through your hair and presses her mouth to your temple.

“hey look at me baby”

you don’t so she gently tilts your face up until your eyes meet hers in the dim light

“you’re not disgusting” she says voice low and steady “you’re not dirty and you’re not going to hell because you let yourself feel something i know it feels that way right now and i know the voice in your head is screaming but i’m right here and i’m not going anywhere”

billie presses another quiet kiss to your hair “i’ve got you” she murmurs “even when you hate yourself even when it feels like it’s never going to stop i’ve got you just stay”

and you do even though you’re terrified of what you’ll feel in the morning.

you stay.

[bilzzeils]

my softie though

synopsis: billie loses a fight and she takes her frustration out on you in a way you like 👀 (okay wait that sounded cringey kill me)

parings: boxer!billie x sweet!reader

a/n: not proofread once again cuz it’s almost 4 am …

you’re ringside the whole time watching billie work under the harsh light she’s the sharper boxer tonight better timing quicker feet but the other woman is heavier and stronger refusing to give ground and everytime billie gets even remotely close she pays for it in the body.

by the sixth round her left side is already red by the eighth she’s breathing through her mouth and her hands start dropping a fraction to late.

the opponent tall and broad shouldered mouth guard flashing white every time she grins.

“that’s all you got o’connell?”

“come on move your feet you look tired already”

“you’re softer than i thought”

she says it loud enough for the crowd to hear. scattered laughs turn into open mockery someone yells at billie “you should’ve stayed home!”

the finish is ugly and slow.

a hard punch right to the ribs makes billie fold that’s then followed with a left hook while she’s still trying to recover but the opponent keeps punching short mean shots to the body and side of the head as the crowd roars in approval.

billie’s legs stop answering she sinks to one knee then both gloves pressed to her ribs then the referee steps in the count starts and the opponent raises both gloves before the countdown even finishes.

“told you” she calls over the noise “soft”

billie looks up once in defeat with that pain mixed with frustration in her eyes.

the arena erupts for the winner and billie stays on her knees untill the medics reach her.

they let you into the locker room after the doctor clears her.

she’s sitting on the bench between two locker rows

in her sports bra and trunks all her gear already off except her hand wrap with a thin cut above her left eyebrow and she has bruised ribs as she holds a ice pack to them.

she’s staring at the floor her jaw locked so tight you can see the muscle jump.

you step closer. she doesn’t look up.

“don’t” she says voice rough “i already know what she said”

“i wasn’t going to repeat it”

you starts unwrapping her hand tape because if you don’t do something with your hands you’ll reach for her too soon and she’ll shut down completely.

once you take them off you step between her knees and carefully tilt her chin up so she’ll look at you. her eyes are exhausted.

“i’m taking you home” you say quietly

at the apartment her frustration finally cracks open.

you’re in the bedroom setting your belongings down on the table next to the bed and she suddenly grips your waist and walks you backwards until your legs hit the bed. the movement is rough but deliberate.

“i kept my hands up” she mutters almost to herself “i did everything right and she still broke me down and she made sure everyone heard it”

you reach up and cup the bruised side of her face gently brushing them.

“billie”

she kisses you before you can finish.

its not angry its hungry and frustrated and controlled all at once like shes pouring the entire loss into the way her mouth moves against yours.

her hands slide under your shirt and she eases you down onto the mattress and follows settling between your thighs with a low rough sound.

clothes come off in pieces she’s gentle even when she’s intense kissing down your throat and the soft skin of your stomach once you’re bare under her she braces herself on one forearm careful of her bruised side and slides her other hand between your legs.

her fingers are warm as she strokes through your folds slowly at first spreading the wetness she’s already found watching your face the entire time.

she slips two fingers inside of you without warning curling them upward until she finds the spot that makes your back arch palm pressing against your clit every thrust her eyes never leave yours.

the frustration from the night bleeding into the deliberate way she fucks you open.

“you’re so wet” she says quietly like she’s talking to herself “taking me so well”.

she adds a third finger the pressure builds immediately her thumb settles over your clit and starts rubbing tight focused circles while her fingers keep working inside you.

wet sounds fill the quiet bedroom as your thighs start to tremble billie leans down and kisses you through it swallowing the broken sounds you can’t hold back.

you’re close breathing hard against her mouth when the words slip out before you can stop them soft teasing affectionate.

“you’re a softie”

she freezes for a second.

“my softie though”

“you’re lucky I like you” she mutters but there’s no real heat in it her thumb presses a little firmer on your clit as she resumes the rhythm, slower now, almost fond.

she leaves her fingers inside you a moment longer feeling the last pulses before slowly sliding them out she brings them up and licks them clean kissing your mouth again softer this time.

then she settles carefully against your side one arm draped over your waist and face tucked into your neck.

you stay awake a little longer fingers moving slowly through her hair until her breathing finally evens out against your skin.

[bilzzeils]

“heavy eyes”

warnings:none js gotta read to find out 👀

finneas texted you in the afternoon.

finneas: you free later, need another set of ears on this track billie’s here but she’s been high for an hour and keeps calling the song “emotionally manipulative”

you almost ignore it things with billie ended messy but you showed up anyways

the studio smells like weed and old coffee which you knew was from billie finneas shows you the track but then steps out when he gets a call. you’re alone when the door opens again

billie stands there in her usual oversized sweats and tee her eyes are heavy and half lidded and she blinks a little too slow she takes one step in swaying slightly and catches herself on the doorframe

“you’re actually here” she says voice low and soft

“finneas asked”

she looks at you for a long second like she’s trying to decide in you’re real

“come upstairs with me?” she asks quietly looking back at finneas still on his call now stepping outside into the backyard.

you follow her upstairs hesitantly she misses one of the steps and leans onto you for balance you reach her room and the door clicks shuts.

billie stands there looking at you like she’s already somewhere else then she steps close until her forehead rests against yours.

“i keep thinking about you” she murmurs “even when i try not to”

she kisses you it’s slow and a little uncoordinated from her high when you kiss her back she makes a sound relief more than anything then her hands come up to cup ur face like you’ll disappear if she doesn’t.

you end up on her bed as she eases you down onto your back she settles over you carefully her shirt comes off in a clumsy tug.

she helps you out of yours kissing your jaw and she slides your pants down and tosses them to the ground.

once you’re both undressed she sits back and looks at you for a second her eyes are glassy and heavy then she leans down and kisses you again deeper this time while her hand slides down your stomach

“can i?” she whispers against your mouth

you nod.

her fingers slip between your legs and find you already wet. she makes a soft almost surprised sound and rests her forehead against yours she starts stroking you slow and carefully over your clit like she’s relearning everything about you.

the high makes her touch a little dreamy and a little uneven but she pays attention when your hips lift a little she hums and presses firmer

“that’s it baby” she murmurs “just feel it”

she kisses down your neck while her fingers are still moving then she kisses lower across your chest until she closed her mouth around one nipple and sucks gently.

two fingers finally slide inside of you she stretches you slow and deep she curls them almost immediately like she’s searching and she finds that spot that makes your breath catch and she stays there rubbing in steady unhurried strokes.

“missed how you feel” she whispers against your chest “missed the way you get quiet”

everytime you clench around her fingers she makes a small needy sound likes its doing as much for her as it is for you.

“so wet for me” she breathes

she adds a third finger when you’re ready for it stretching you open a little more and the fullness pulls a soft moan out of you billie lifts her head to watch your face eyes still heavy and dark lips parted she looks wrecked in a gentle way.

“come for me” she whispers “please i want to feel it”

her fingers work deeper and curling just the right way her thumb pressing firm circle over your clit the pressure builds slow and heavy until it breaks.

you come with a shaky cry hips lifting off the bed with your cunt pulsing hard around her fingers billie keeps you through it.

when you finally go limp she eases her fingers out and collapses carefully beside you her arm still draped over your waist she’s breathing hard.

“stay a little” she murmurs “just a little”

you do.

a few minutes passing quiet.

then finneas voice from downstairs floats up

“hey sex addicts hurry up and get dressed we still have a track to finish!”

billie goes still then lets out a weak laugh.

“shut up finch”

billie snorts under her breath and pulls you closer.

[bilzzeils]

LORD HAVE MERCY 🤤 THE CLIP OF HER LAYING ON HER BACK ? UGHH 🧎‍♀️‍➡️

[bilzzeils]

texts with FWB!BILLIE (part 3)

part 1

part 2

[bilzzeils]

texts with FWB!BILLIE (part 2)

part one

[bilzzeils]

texts with FWB!BILLIE

[bilzzeils]

LONG DAY

- billie returns home after a long day of filming exhausted and just wants you

• warnings fluff & just kissing

you were quietly laid on your bed as you endlessly scroll on your phone, billie had texted you earlier saying she’ll be home home soon.

then you heard the front door open you hear her tossing something on the ground most likely her shoes because she knows you get on her if she wears shoes in the house.

billie walks in the room and sits on the edge of the bed taking off her hoodie “hey baby” you said quietly she gets in bed with you resting her head between your legs as you play with her hair “hi beautiful” she says you can hear the tiredness in her voice.

“long day?” you ask before she could answer you give her kiss “yeah” she sighs and leans back up for another kiss.

you guys switch positions and she leans her back against the headboard and she pulls you onto her lap kissing you again softy like she’s memorizing your lips.

shark and brutus interrupt jumping on the bed she laughs “hi my babies” they both let out barks which is probably them saying hello back.

she pets them “were they good?” she asks “always” you reply eventually they both go chase eachother in the living room.

“i missed you” she says sliding her hands under your shirt to rest her cold hands on your stomach “i missed you too baby” you smile

“you wanna take a shower?” you ask knowing it’ll help her relax “im too tired” she replies leaning her head on your shoulder “im gonna do all the work silly” you say “come on” you lead her into the bathroom she leans against the counter you notice her tired eyes.

you take off her shirt and unclip her bra and toss them into the dirty laundry bin just outside the bathroom you unbuckle her jeans sliding them down along with her underwear “lift up ur foot baby” you take off her sock then the other.

you take off your clothes aswell and turn on the shower then you both get in she leans her head back to wet her hair then you gently massage the shampoo into her scalp and scrub body with the sponge then rinse off the shampoo and and the body wash.

“i went to that vintage store you like” you say “what’d you get” she asks while you massage the conditioner in “a couple shirts and i got you some jorts and some tees too” you say

“just when i thought i couldn’t love you more” she smiles she gives you a soft kiss as you rinse off her conditioner you then shower yourself and you both get out getting the towels from under the sink.

you both dry off and you help her change into her clothes and you put on your favorite shirt of hers and some sweatpants you quickly but gently brush her hair and brush her teeth knowing she’s tired.

“I’ll be right there, baby,” you say.

she slips into bed but instead of falling asleep she waits for you after finishing up, you quietly climb in beside her turning onto your side with your back to her knowing she loves wrapping her arms around your waist.

“goodnight baby” she whispers pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder

“goodnight my love” you murmur smiling as you settle into her embrace.

[bilzzeils]

part two texts w/EXGF!BILLIE

part one

[bilzzeils]

texts w/EXGF!BILLIE