Binge.Watch.Drink.

Comprehensive drinking games for binge watching junkies - feel free to add your own and play along

[bingewatchdrink]

Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: Debbie Macomber's Mrs. Miracle

Dawson Leery is a single father of a demonic set of twins who have no structure or decorum. They run off housekeeper after housekeeper, until Mrs. Miracle comes along. Dawson is very Dawsony, and I'm not impressed by the big conflict between the two characters who cannot speak civilly to each other. Communication fail. These grown ups clearly did not earn their conflict resolution badges in scouting. Obviously, the best part is Mrs. Miracle. Everybody Loves Raymond's mom is a treasure and a dear. All of her scenes are the best. She carries the whole thing on her little angelic shoulders. 10/10 ciders for all of the Mrs. Miracle scenes but 5/10 for everything else so we'll go with 7.

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: 12 Wishes of Christmas

Literal magic.

Amber from Clueless is having a bad time at work and a bad time at home and a bad time with her boyfriend. She meets a special elf? Or angel? It’s unclear. And gets to make 12 magical wishes via the world wide web.

You know I love a good magic storyline. Homegirl burns up all her wishes in a v dumb way. Why as for clothes, shoes, and jewelry individually, especially when you also wish to win the lotto? Why not just specify your lotto budget and buy everything yourself? That frees up 3 wishes! p>

I am also pleased with the moral of this story - being aware of how your actions effect others and seeking to understand before jumping to conclusions and/or wishes.

Also, couldn’t she just have talked with the owner of her rental about having the dog? Whatever.

8/10 ciders - a good time was had by all.

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: Four Christmases and a Wedding

A Christmas story about long term crushes where the timing is never right, told over four years, starring Lincoln Rhyme's cop protege. The format didn't allow for much filler, which I appreciate. Story/script/acting wasn't bad. Overall it was endearing. I am confused about the age progression of the little girl though. 7/10 ciders - medium good

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: On Strike For Christmas

Local mom takes on the patriarchy and leads a strike after her d bag husband (played by Rory’s dad from Gilmore Girls) and sons continuously display a lack of respect and appreciation for her.

I would rather throw myself off a cliff than be married to a man who thinks it’s okay to treat me like an intern and teaches our sons to do the same. But maybe that’s just me.

Love the concept, but this is not the pro-feminism Christmas movie of my dreams. The message at the end doesn't quite match the message at the beginning

Also, one of the teen sons (can’t remember if it was the sports son or the rock ‘n’ roll son) laments that this will be the last Christmas he and his high school friends will all be together, since they'll be going off to college. No homie, college lets out for Christmas, and you will see your little friends when you all go back home until you decide you have moved on.

5/10 ciders - half good

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: Mistletoe Over Manhattan

Mrs. Claus goes to NYC in search of some Christmas Cheer for her husband (Santa) who has a bad attitude, and for some reason, a weird Lucky Charms accent. Is that canon?

She ends up nannying in a broken home with broken dreams and quickly gets to work Mary-Poppinsing it up. One of the children is a young Maya from Degrassi.

Whoever did the lighting must have been a [naked] mole [rat], because wow so much light.

Other than Mr. Claus’s bad attitude, it was enjoyable. Mrs. Claus[burger] is an absolute delight.

7/10 ciders - all credit to Mrs. Claus

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: Christmas at Dollywood

Super cute and fun. Winnie Cooper from the Wonder Years is a party planning single mom in NYC who gets an incredible opportunity to save a special Christmas event at Dollywood, which happens to be her hometown. It has: Dolly, obvi Former child star Danica McKellar A workaholic woman A single parent [spoiler alert] a one year later update 9/10 ciders - super sweet

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: I'm Not Ready For Christmas

Idk why it's called that. Weird title. It's basically the plot of Liar Liar, except she works in advertising and it's her niece and it's Christmas. Alicia Witt, Hollywood supporting actress, stars alongside Lucy's husband from 7th Heaven. Good: The dad from the Wonder Years as magic Santa The little girl is adorbs Ridiculous plot Needs improvement: The truth telling rules seem inconsistent And for some reason, she develops the cadence of a speak and spell when she starts telling the truth Maybe seek to understand before you publicly call out someone's lie? Oh, the theme song is "I'm Not Ready For Christmas." Still baffling. 5/10 ciders - it was fine

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: The Christmas House

Okay so I loved it. I'll admit that I was skeptical based solely off the title, but it delivered. I've been trying to figure out why it feels less cookie cutter Hallmark movie than the rest. It doesn't deviate too far off the formulaic path, so I've boiled it down to a few thoughts. Sharon Lawrence is an angel and a doll. The relationships feel more natural and lived-in, as opposed to most films in the genre where it seems like they just met this morning. I think the biggest thing is how it speaks to the "Elder Millennial" experience. You're a grown up in your life, but you come home for the holidays and settle back into your familial role - the playful sibling banter that's all love, but also a lot of competiton and trolling, your parents treating you as though you never left. Plus the ridiculous courtroom drama that you know you would watch irl. He's a lawyer, but he's also Handsome. And bonus points for Aaron Samuels. 9.5/10 ciders - very cute! I enjoyed the whole thing

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Best Worst Christmas Cables Movies: One Royal Holiday

The main character is a nurse with a heart of gold who accidentally invites a Queen and her son to hitch a ride to her dad’s inn, to avoid some bad weather. She invites them on purpose, but she doesn’t know they’re royalty. She is just literally the nicest sweetest person, and we must protect her.

The prince (played by Danny Zuko from Grease Live) is a pretentious d bag who doesn’t know how to person. Idk if it was intentional or not, but his hair is very quarantine. Tbh he was pretty offputting, and I almost quit 15 min in, but I’m glad I stuck it out.

It has some of my favorite things: A SMALL TOWN An inn (not a bnb, but close enough) SMALL TOWN CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS MISTAKEN IDENTITIES MONTAGES - 1 gift wrapping and 1 decorating. How did I get so lucky?!?! Not one, but two SIDE CHARACTER ROMANCES And general nonsense

8.5/10 ciders - lots of Christmas cheer. Could have been a 10 if the prince wasn’t such a d

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: A Christmas For The Books

Chelsea Staub Kane (of JONAS and Baby Daddy fame) stars opposite Drew Seely (Zac Efron's vocal double in High School Musical) as "lifestyle guru" who needs a fake boyfriend to maintain her image as a relationship expert. It's all very goop. I thought I would enjoy it because I think I enjoyed Lovestruck: The Musical, but now I'm second guessing that. Did I enjoy it? This film is underwhelming. Just didn't keep my interest. Quit after 40 minutes. 2/10 ciders - could have used more good tidings

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: A Timeless Christmas

It's got a small town, time travel, an orphan, a forbidden romance. It does not have quite enough personality. Fancy pants rich man accidentally time travels from 1903 to present day, where his mansion has been turned into a museum. The museum director befriends him, and together they work to figure out how to send him back. Mr. Throwback is stiff and dull. Idk why the writers, directors, producers, and actors think that old timey people were boring. My ancestors are offended, I presume. Awkward, needs more charm. The highlight of this movie was the main lady's purple dress at the end -gorge! 7/10 ciders - I liked it, but I didn't love it.

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: Debbie Macomber's Call Me Mrs. Miracle

Everybody Loves Raymond's mom stars as the mysterious Mrs. Miracle who shows up in NYC just in time to make some last minute Christmas magic. Cute story, deffo cheesy. I wanted to watch this one because it stars Jewel Staite, and for some reason I was thinking singer/songwriter/Alaskan Jewel, but it's actually former child star/Canadian Jewel Staite. Once I saw her face I instantly recognize her from two episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark, the highly underrated Space Cases, and the equally underrated Flash Forward (opposite Ben Foster). Her character is an aspiring fashion designer, working for a Miranda Priestley knock-off, caring for her nephew while her bro is away at army. She instantly connects with a charming young man whose fathers owns a big time department store, where Mrs. miracle has just started working. Nobody fell for a ghost, I think, so minus points for that. It was a nice feel good time though. I think my biggest critique (besides the ghost thing) is that we are meant to believe that young man and his dad are able to go on vacation from Christmas Eve until after the New Year, when they run a major retail store. Yeah right, that's gift card redemption and returns week. 8.5/10 ciders - plenty of cheer to go around.

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: A Star For Christmas

If you've ever wondered what would happen if a tv Christmas movie was co-produced by the people behind any generic early 2000's DCOM and also the people who made American Pie, then this is your opportunity. It was bad. Not good bad. Just bad bad. The burn-out stoner brother, the cinematography, the everything. It's also very low on Christmas cheer and the main character sounds like she has a 4 pack a day habit and/or spent all night screaming. 1/10 ciders - I quit about 20 minutes in. I just couldn't even.

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Binge.Watch.Drink Presents: Special Holiday Movie Drinking Guide

Take a drink every time…

A city person goes to a small town for the holidays. Drink twice if they are a workaholic There’s deception of any kind. Drink twice if someone is lying about who they are Time travel! An old man with white hair may or may not be Santa Santa may or may not have magic powers A main character overshares with a stranger. Drink twice if that stranger is a worker in the service industry just trying to do their job. Is this? Or could it be? Are they catching feelings? Uh oh, trouble in paradise Jk it’s true Christmas love One of our lovebirds is a single parent Why are you letting your kid hang out solo with an adult you just met? Quaint small town annual event A budding romance appears for two secondary characters A plot hole appears A corporate sponsor appears We get a one year later update Decorating! Michael Buble song

Take a bonus drink if…

Any of the main actors were famous child stars The main character(s) stay at a charming bed and breakfast. Twice if it is run by someone who is charmingly eccentric Every orphan in the movie It stars Candace Cameron Bure or Lacey Chabert

Feel free to add your own!

[bingewatchdrink]

Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: A Star For Christmas

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a tv Christmas movie was co-produced by the people behind any generic early 2000’s DCOM and also the people who made American Pie, then this is your opportunity.

It was bad. Not good bad. Just bad bad. The burn-out stoner brother, the cinematography, the everything. It’s also very low on Christmas cheer, and the main character sounds like she has a 4 pack a day habit and/or spent all night screaming.

1/10 ciders - I quit about 20 minutes in. I just couldn’t even.

[bingewatchdrink]

Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: Christmas ala Mode

Cute Christmasy story. Daphne from Switched at Birth is trying desperately to save her failing family dairy farm. She asks her dead dad for a miracle, but instead her sister and a hunky colleague arrive and ruin family dinner by announcing their intentions to sell. Hunk feels bad, and helps Daphne brainstorm ideas. They come up with a Christmas ice cream contest to drive their ice cream sales (made with the cows' milk obvi). Can they save the farm? Will they fall in love? Is there a 100% chance you can accurately predict the outcome? 8/10 ciders - cute Christmas charm

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Best Worst Christmas Cable Movies: The Spirit of Christmas

Our leading lady is a career-obsessed lawyer who has not time for love until she falls in love with a ghost. I repeat, SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH A GHOST.

Our ghost is from the 1920’s, but he speaks as though he is from 300 years ago, and his 1920’s boo talks like she is from yesterday. Probably nothing about this movie is historically accurate. Ghost’s hair style and photograph do not look like they are from 100 years ago. The rules of ghosthood are equally nonsensical, but it doesn’t matter. Dare I say that adds to the charm?

A GHOST! SHE FALLS IN LOVE WITH A GHOST!!!

10/10 ciders - pure Christmas magic