bing™

[bingtm]

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1.   i am selective – edging on private – and i like to keep things mutuals only. my reply speed ranges from half an hour to about a month, and there will be times where i reply to certain threads over others. i don’t use a thread tracker or anything so if you think i forgot smth/dropped a thread, hmu so i can reply or write you another starter.  

2. pre-established relationships of the non-romantic variety are always welcome, even without any prior plotting. if we’re shipping romantically, i ask that you be 20+ for my own comfort.

3. no tolerance for racism, anti-blackness, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, misogyny, fatphobia, pedophilia, incest.

4. i have no issue with sexual/suggestive themes, but i’m only sometimes up to writing explicit smut.

5. i have no issue with people reblogging things from me like memes, text posts, etc. i only ask that you follow any designations under edits i may make (such as “mutuals or writing partners only”) and that you don’t interact with threads that aren’t yours.

6. i tag triggers as      TRIGGER //     and i will read the rules of anyone that i form a mutual with to make sure i tag any triggers explicitly mentioned.

**you don’t have to have any prior knowledge of the tv show for us to interact, but i often mention other characters in my threads so if you have a question / would rather i didn’t do that, lmk!

name: chandler m. bing.

aliases: ms. chanandler bong.

age: verse dependent. anywhere from 26-36+.

birthdate: april 8.

sexual orientation: bisexual.

gender: cis man.

place of birth: new york city, new york.

places lived since: new york city, new york.

mother: nora tyler bing.

mother: helena bing.

siblings: none.

relationship with family: estranged.

height: six foot.

weight: one hundred and ninety-three.

build: slender, but not fit.

ethnicity: korean american.

disabilities: none.

phobias: fear of commitment.

hair color: dark brown.

usual hair style: gelled with a side part for work; however it falls anytime else.

eye color: brown.

glasses or contacts: both, though he wears his glasses more.

style: sweater vests, oversized crewneck sweaters, slim fitting jeans. traditional business attire for work.

piercings: none.

tattoos: none.

[aprtmnt20]

〝 is that what you're calling it? 〞her head leans against the back of the couch. eyes falling shut. the first moment to herself she's gotten all evening. even if chandler is here  too. she lets out a puff through her nose that's supposed to resemble a laugh. 〝 sounds like you've got it down to an art, professional yet considerate. 〞not sure how much those women would agree, but now is certainly not the time ─ or place ─ to get into that. she lifts her head, an eyebrow arching, incredulous. then relaxes when he smartly changes course. 〝 yeah, of course i'm okay, 〞her voice bubbly. too bubbly. overcompensatingly so. 〝why wouldn't i be? 〞a beat, a groan, her mind playing catch up. 〝unless you're here for a free dinner because i really can't tonight, chandler, okay? come back tomorrow. i promise i'll make whatever you want tomorrow. 〞

[bingtm]

mildly offended, he shoots back, "i think it's accurate." he waves a hand - there are times that he forgets, admittedly, that joey is one-of-a-kind. no other roommates in the city could possibly be dealing with an infestation like this. "professional yet considerate. yeah, i could start a business with that. dump-a-dame, llc. that's me." she's never been particularly good at being convincing. "no, no, i'm not hungry." a lie, a big one, but she doesn't have to know that. "i'm being serious. you're okay?"

[aprtmnt20]

“ we're  scheduling  and  setting  alarms  for  friend  time  now? ”  she  teases  through  a  soft  smile,  disappearing  into  the  fridge.  a  bottle  of  water  and  a  chocolate  milk  in  hand  when  she  reemerges.  “ ah,  that  makes  more  sense. ”  her  words  softer  now,  not  necessarily  meant  to  be  heard.  in  response  to  his  question,  an  initial  answer  of  a  sigh  escapes  her  as  she  places  the  chocolate  milk  beside his feet  and  plops  herself  on  the  couch.  “ long.  exhausting. ”  lonely.  she  pauses,  uncapping  the  bottle  of  water  and  taking  a  sip.  “ but  i  still  wouldn't  trade  places  with  you.  having  to  break  that  to  those  women . . .  oof. ”  her  head  gives  a  little  shake,  knowing  just  how  those  women  feel  when  that  news  is  broken.  “ they  don't  even  know  you  and  they already  hate  you.  that's  rough. ”

[bingtm]

"well, i have to stay efficient." he knocks the side of his shoe against the bottle of milk, a small gesture of appreciation, but otherwise remains unmoved. his hands clasp over his abdomen, and he shrugs. "well, i have my little script, and i give them a snack to cushion the blow." he is, unfortunately, quite attuned to her feelings. it's a double edged sword because it keeps him aware of his surroundings, but emotions generally make him deeply, deeply uncomfortable. still. "you seem..." he waves a a hand in lieu of settling on an adjective. he clears his throat. "are you okay?"

[aprtmnt20]

❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫ then it wasn't meant to be. it was a distraction ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫ forget your life is a joke to me by focusing on my life being a joke too??  ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫ are you saying i'm wrong? ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫ keyword is 'could' are you in the hospital?  ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫ bc you're doing a lot of texting for a guy in the hospital

[bingtm]

❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ what else is a guy in the hospital supposed to do except text? ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ though this guy in the hospital is also precariously carrying your coffee

[pedrospascaled]

PEDRO PASCAL as Dieter Bravo The Bubble (2022) dir. Judd Apatow

[aprtmnt20]

❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  please your life is no more of a joke to me than my own ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  i don't think those charges would hold up in any court ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  since i guarantee you're fine

[bingtm]

❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ was that supposed to be reassuring??? it isn't ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ 'guarantee' she says ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ i could be in the hospital right now

[aprtmnt20]

❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  aw you know that's not true ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  i care very much about you ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  you could say ✨ i  love  you ✨ ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  😈

[bingtm]

❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ my life is a joke to you ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ cardiac arrest is pending i will be sending these screenshots to my lawyer ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ you can see if ross's divorce lawyer could rep you and get you down to manslaughter ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ but it's looking like 1st degree

[bundledmisery]

@bingtm sent: it’s a philosophy that helps me remain in the moment while giving me licence to behave exactly as i like without having to worry about guilt or regret.

"you are the most worrisome person i have ever met."

"i have seen you panicked. it is all the time. you should think about getting medicated."

[bingtm]

divina is always quite blunt. he still doesn't exactly know what to do with that (because it's really funny when it isn't directed at him).

"i am chill. a certified chill-er. look at me—could i be any more chill right now?"

[aprtmnt20]

❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫   get  my  coffee  first!!  ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫   god  what  happens  when  someone  uses  the  L-word  around you ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫   do  you  spontaneously  combust? 

[bingtm]

❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ you don't care about me at all do you ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ well let's not say it and find out.

[aprtmnt20]

❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  i'm  sorry!  ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  my  finger  slipped!  i  didn't  mean  it

❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  ok now you're just overreacting ❪  sms  »  chandler  ❫  a  simple  four  letter  word  shouldn't  make  you  spiral  like  this

[bingtm]

❪  sms  »  monica  ❫  i'm overreacting ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫  you're about to put me in the hospital and i'm overreacting

[bingtm]

"okay," he says, but it doesn't stop him from shutting the door behind him and moving further into the apartment. "do we not have a friend clock anymore? because my alarm for that one definitely just went off." this is not an entirely altruistic venture, however, and he makes that known with, "joey just came back with his second date of the night. i already had to tell the first one to not expect his call." he collapses into the chair. "you think i would be used to disappointing beautiful women, but it still takes it out of me." he kicks his feet up onto the table. "how was work?"

@aprtmnt20 continued from.

[bingtm]

❪  sms  »  monica  ❫  no problem also never say that again! ❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ that activated my commitment issues to levels never seen before

❪  sms  »  monica  ❫ currently experiencing chest pains actually

@aprtmnt20 continued from.

[ellesmore]

no matter how many times he gets the stare & the compliment of his arms, he flexes in approval. he grows more smug at another compliant about a lift. chandler is underestimating himself; the lift isn't impossible at the extra five pounds.

"if this was gonna kill you, or anyone, then this gym would be empty," jamie moves his head around to show people on the machines and weights before returning his gaze to chandler. fingers grace the bar, spotting in case someone thinks this is a death sentence. "'sides, i got it if you drop it before you even know you did."

[bingtm]

jamie flexes, and chandler feels that in places that he doesn't think he's supposed to.

chandler twists his hands on the bar. "well, this would kill some very small children, i'm sure," he mutters. he feels the way his back sticks to his shirt through the bench. "tell ross that he gets joey if i die," he says, before unracking the bar. it's quite heavy, but he begins to lower it, taps his chest a little harder than he should in the bottom of the rep, and then pushes with all his might.

[aprtmnt20]

“ right.  of  course.  what  was  i  thinking? ”  her  head  giving  a  light  shake,  facetiously,  before  a  palm  meets  her  forehead.  as  if  it  were  so  obvious — because,  of  course,  he  would  find  a  way  to  get  out  of  tears.  “ it  sounds  like  you're  already  putting  a  lot  of  thought  into  this,  is  it  weird  i'm  kind  of  excited  now  to  hear  what  you  come  up  with  for  how  we  got  together? ”  a  beat.  “ as  long  as  you  don't  just  say  i  begged  you  to  go  out  with  me. ”  was  excited  the  right  word?  probably  not,  but  the  apprehension  had  surprisingly  begun  to  ease.  perfectly  shaped  brows  pinch  together  in  thought.  " well,  we  need  somewhere  to  practice  before  anyone  important  is  introduced  to  us  as  a  couple. ” another  pause.  “ ross  has  that  thing — that  reception  he  said  we  could  come  to,  we  could  go  to  that  as  a  couple?  or. . .  is  that  too  much? "

[bingtm]

"not sure, mon. i ask myself that question about you a lot." well, he is having a lot of thoughts. most of them, he will admit, are movie plots. (not a lot of romantic success goes on around these parts; he's sure she knows, and hopefully she won't bring that up!) "you wouldn't beg for this? carlos at my office would beg for this — or so i've been told." aw, look. they're already having their first fight. ross always has a thing, and they're all good friends so they usually always go to them, even if chandler only does it for free dinner and drinks. "probably best in a group setting. i'm sure we'll need lots of emotional support." he feigns popping his collar, which is. . . certainly something. . . then says, "and your boyfriend cleans up real nice."

[handspike]

tommy  doesn't  mind  the  dark.  but  chandler's  question  makes  him  feel  as  though  the  other  might  not  be,  and  so  tommy  reaches  past  chandler's  shoulder  to  tug  on  the  chain  of  the  lamp.  it  turns  on.  he  has  to  shut  his  eyes,  the  room  is  filled  with  startling  light.  “sorry,”  he  says  after  a  beat  of  feeling  blinded,  “i  thought  that  would  be  a  good  idea.”

[bingtm]

his eyes start to adjust just as tommy reaches across him, so he's staring at the hill of his shoulder when the lamp turns on. "oh, fuck," he mumbles, eyes burning at the sensation. "no, it's fine. i'm fine. are... you fine?"

[aprtmnt20]

“ we're  in  love  already? ”  she  questions,  almost  tauntingly.  “ if  that's  the  bare  minimum,  then  i  can  expect  you  to  break  out  the  tears  when  necessary  too,  right?  since  love  is  a  two-way  street. ”  as  are  feigned  tears  of  joy,  as  far  as  she  was  concerned.  she  catches  the  grimace  that  crosses  his  expression,  the  hint  of  a  satisfied  smile  tugging  at  the  corner  of  her  lips.  a  smile  that  doesn't  last  long  when  he  delivers  that  blow.  her  expression  hardens  into  a  glare.  instead  of  tightening  her  grip  on  his  hand  though,  she  releases  it  completely.  her  words  muttered  and  soft,  she  hated  giving  in  like  this.  “ just  run  it  by  me  beforehand  so  there's  no surprises  the  first  time  you  tell  the  story. deal? ”

[bingtm]

"yeah," a beat, then, "well. you're in love with me. i don't know if i'm all the way there, yet, so. i get to be spared from the tears of joy-ing." there is a moment, admittedly, where he thanks his hands for everything they've ever done for him, because he's certain they're going to be rendered useless. and that horrible vision almost comes true, when she squeezes a little tighter, except instead of crushing all his bones into little tiny pieces, she lets him go. "deal." he shakes out his hands as they regain feeling. "so? when is our first couple's outing?"

[aprtmnt20]

“ tears  of  joy . . .  really?  you're  pushing  it  with  that  one. ”  but  okay,  she  could  have  tried  for  enjoyment,  she  could  have  faked  a  little  of  that.  after  all,  she  is  going  to  be  testing  out  her  acting  chops  with  this  whole  ordeal,  why  not  start  now.  but  she's  glad  he  doesn't  dwell  on  her  lack  of  enthusiasm  for  too  long  because  if  she  thought  too  much  about  it  it  would  begin  to  nag  at  her  ─  and  she  had  other  things  to  worry  about  at  the  moment.  oddly,  his  first  stipulation  came  with  a  wave  of  relief.  that's  it?  she  could  do  that  ─  it  already  felt  like  she  was  feeding  him  that  often  anyway.  every  time  she  turned  around  there  was  someone  in  her  apartment  helping  themselves  to  whatever  she'd  prepared  for  dinner.  and,  frankly,  the  man  eats  like  a  toddler,  it  wasn't  like  he'd  be  asking  for  honey  glazed  salmon  or  bouillabaisse  every  night.  the  second  stipulation  though  ─  “ whoa,  hold  on  a  minute. ”  she  grabs  the  two  fingers  he's  holding  in  front  of  her  and  pulls  his  hand  downward,  her  head  shaking  vehemently.  now  it  was  her  turn  to  be  offended.  “ do  i  look  like i'm stupid  to  you?  because  i  would  have  to  be  downright  stupid  to  agree  with  that. ”

[bingtm]

offended, he slaps his hand to his chest. "monica. we're in love. yes, i expect tears of joy. if anything, i think that might be considered bare minimum." he is proving himself to be a high maintenance beau, for sure, but he wants to establish that baseline now just so there aren't any surprises later. (again, he is having too much fun with this.) she grabs hold of his fingers and he tries and fails not to grimace at the superhuman squeeze she gives them. and, this is certainly a low blow, but it's with no uncertain amount of smugness that he counters with, "well. it's either downright stupid or painfully still single, so. . . "