THE CHILDHOOD STRUGGLES OF EVERY MYERS BRIGGS TYPE Part 4: The Rationals – NT Types
ENTJ children are fiercely independent, logical, strong-willed and ambitious. They are driven by intellectual curiosity and a need to master everything they try. These creative and inventive children are full of energy, excitement and challenge. They are born leaders, and instinctually see ways of getting things done and have great energy for accomplishing tasks. They are extremely determined and outspoken with a great amount of self-confidence.
The unique childhood struggles of the ENTJ
ENTJs rely intensely on their logic and thinking; because of this they are very uncomfortable with the world of feelings and emotions. They hate to cry and will do whatever possible to not seem vulnerable. Because of this, during moments where their emotions show, they can feel intense shame afterwards. Having a parent who can help them understand that these emotions are normal and not something to be ashamed of is essential; it’s also wise to not fuss over them when they’re in an emotional state, because this will only make them feel more humiliated. This same discomfort with feelings means that they can be unintentionally insensitive to others frequently growing up; hurting feelings or coming across as a know-it-all or judgmental. Parents would be wise to model empathy and tactfulness for ENTJ children, and to rephrase insensitive comments back to them.
ENTJs always crave a challenge, and are highly ambitious. Because of this they can often “bite off more than they can chew” and get overwhelmed with a huge amount of obligations and responsibilities. They don’t like to accept help with their projects either, because that would make it impossible for them to enjoy the pride of accomplishing something on their own.
ENTJs long for more and more freedom and independence. They are so self-determined that they long to have complete control of their environment. While this can be a wonderful thing for them; they rise to any challenge you place before them, it can also mean they grow up too quickly and don’t enjoy the beautiful innocence and experiences of childhood. This yearning for control can also cause them to butt heads with their parents over rules and responsibilities they see as trivial.
INTJ children are highly creative and intellectual, yearning to understand the truth of the universe. These quiet, serious children are intensely curious about why things are the way they are, and long for logic and truth in everything they do. They have a rich inner life and love the fantasy and scientific world, learning as much as possible about things that interest them.
The unique childhood struggles of the INTJ
INTJ children, along with INFJs, have a low threshold for outside stimulation. In order for them to think clearly and be at peace they need things to be quiet and peaceful. While others may think they are wasting time daydreaming , they are usually conceiving their most ingenious thoughts and ideas. The favorite place of INTJs is inside their own mind, so having to be forced out of that into an extroverted world, or with constant interruptions, is highly frustrating to them. They need to be allowed privacy and solitude to thrive.
INTJ children can be quite independent and stubborn, and often struggle with respecting an authority unless they feel that respect has been earned. They are rarely persuaded to do things they don’t want to do, or don’t believe in. This can lead to them butting heads with a parent or authority figure. They respect others who earn their respect using honesty and truth and logic; not rank or age. They have a strong sense of what is fair and don’t hesitate from putting up a fight if they feel they have been unfairly accused or misjudged. They also have such a strong need to be right that they can have a hard time backing down from an argument or admitting a mistake. Because of their strong independent nature, parents of INTJs would be wise to give them a lot of responsibility, and opportunities to prove they can take care of themselves. Explain the basic parameters of what is needed or expected, and then allow them to determine how to live independently in those lines.
INTJ children are so internally focused on their thoughts and ideas, that they don’t care too much about “fitting in” with society as a whole. Because of this, they can often seem aloof or uncaring and may have a hard time gracefully navigating through the complicated waters of human interaction. They can care very deeply about their loved ones, but aren’t prone to be very demonstrative of their love. They may end up being berated by more feeling-type parents for their lack of social graces or because they weren’t nice enough to “dear old Aunt Lucy”. This can be a frustrating experience for INTJs who don’t see the practical purpose of small talk, social niceties, and pretending to be something they’re not.
ENTPs are friendly, energetic children who are driven by their imagination and curiosity towards anything new, different, and exciting. They are driven to be innovative and are often full of fun and good humor. They have a natural charm and cleverness that shows itself through their storytelling ability, clever puns, and engaging presence. They are very spirited and insightful, and enjoy debating with others to get to the truth of any matter.
The unique childhood struggles of the ENTP
ENTP children are naturally skeptical and are rarely convinced of anything without rational reasoning or logical consequences. They are very opinionated and can be argumentative, which can lead them to being called bossy or arrogant. They often feel misunderstood in this; in their minds they are merely trying to point out an inconsistency and can’t stand to see a flaw in any position or argument. This may cause them to butt heads with other children, teachers, or their parents.
ENTPs may seem messy or disorganized, and they have a hard time following through on all their commitments. They love to stay open to new ideas and to be adaptable, and so they resist structure and limits. This can cause great frustration to them and their parents, when they are constantly having to rush to get a project done or be told over and over again to keep their room clean. ENTP parents should remember that ENTPs can be highly inventive in a state of perceived “chaos”, and possibly allow them a little space for disorder.
ENTPs are very sociable and outgoing, and will get frustrated being cooped up at home. They love to have an audience, and love a good pair of listening ears for all their ideas and plans. They are often very popular, but grow up quickly. They are very anxious to get on their own two feet and to be in control of their lives, so they may push for bedtimes to be later, and more freedom to go places and experience things. If they live under very strict parents they can feel stifled and disrespected because of the lack of freedom. They greatly desire to be seen as competent, so being treated their age can be very irritating to them.
INTPs are one of the most intensely curious of all the children. They are driven by a need to understand the world, and are extremely independent and strong-willed. They are incredibly logical and matter-of-fact, and are very skeptical of established facts or theories. They love to question and explore alternatives, and often have original, ingenious ideas. They are adaptable and easy-going, and usually have a fun, offbeat sense of humor.
The unique childhood struggles of the INTP
INTPS are natural skeptics, who are driven by a need for logic and truth. Because of this, they have a naturally argumentative style that is often at odds with their parents authority. They question everything, and with very strict parents can often feel stifled and held down. For them, as with the other NT types, respect needs to be earned, not automatically given. They don’t mind disagreeing with an authority figure if they see something that doesn’t make logical sense. Because of this, they can end up getting frequently punished because the parent sees them as being disrespectful to their authority. This can be quite frustrating for the INTP child who just wants to get to the truth of the matter at hand.
INTPs see many possibilities and ideas everywhere, and in school find it hard to stay focused. They hate the repetition and routine, and want a steep learning curve. They are usually highly intelligent, and don’t care that much about grades or what their teachers think of them. They are usually much more intelligent than their teachers are aware of, because they don’t feel the need to “prove” their intelligence. They may get so bored during school that they scribble down answers without thinking, and get poor grades as a result. In their minds they have more important things to be thinking about than the same sums day after day after day. This can lead to problems at school or at home, with parents or teachers who judge the child as incompetent or lazy. Parents of INTPs do best to pay attention to what areas of interest their child has, and to encourage and support their child in pursuit of that interest or goal. They can learn quite a lot by discovering all there is to know about an interest they have.
INTPs are easily overwhelmed by too much noise and talking. They live life primarily inside their own heads, and find noise and lecturing a constant interruption. Because they are so internal, they can often come across as clumsy or slow. They really aren’t slow, but each time they are asked to engage they have to forcefully pull themselves out of their own thoughts and ideas. Too much noise or sensory stimulation is overwhelming for them, and as very young children can display tantrums in reaction to sensory overload. They may bury their heads in a pillow and scream or just isolate themselves from all noise.
One major issue that INTPs deal with is that they think through things logically, and without a lot of emotion or feeling. They find themselves confused by other people’s feelings and emotions, and have a hard time understanding social niceties. They are often misunderstood because of this and reprimanded for not using manners or engaging in small talk. This can be very frustrating for them.
One sad fact is that INTPs are the most likely type to be misdiagnosed with autism or aspergers. The world often doesn’t see how insightful and intelligent these children are, and merely tries to force them into a mold that is more “normal”. There’s a possibility that INTPs are more likely than other types to live with aspergers or autism, but so far my research has been inconclusive on this.
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