Shit White People say to BIPOC Folks in PDX

BIPOC in PDX (or Shit White People say to BIPOC People in Portland) was created by a group of QTBIPOC who are surviving in Portland. Portland is 76% white and being black and brown in this city means navigating a white sea of ignorance and racism on the macro and micro aggression daily. We created this blog in the hopes that BIPOC/QTBIPOC in Portland would have a safe anonymous place to share all the things we hear from white people while living in the city known for white hipster racism, neo-nazi skin heads, and steadfast post-racial belief systems (as if). We seek submissions of things BIPOC in PDX have heard and been told so that we can document, vent, bring levity to, skewer, and witness the reality of living BIPOC in Portland. Submissions can be made at bipocinpdx.tumblr.com/submit or to [email protected]

[bipocinpdx]

Just came across this blog and thought I’d share a bit of my experience for the greater good of my fellow marginalized poc folks out there. I am a young black woman (mixed if I’m being more specific, with white and Belizean). And the other night while minding my own damn business at a bus stop with a close friend of mine(who happened to be white), a white man decided to spark up a conversation out of no where with me. He proceeded to ask me how I felt about black men. Now, it’s late at night, I’m in the middle of the Lloyd district by Holiday Park (for my fellow Portlanders, you know where this is smh) and he started to ask me about advice I would give to him about “dealing with his black coworker” as he put it. He said that he “figures I would know how to handle them since I’ve probably had lots of experience with them” and how “they are always so intimidating” I don’t know why in the hell this person thought it was ok to try and talk to me about this but here we are. Before I have a chance to say anything back, my bus arrives. I am beyond furious while riding home, and of course my white friend didn’t seem to comprehend the magnitude of the situation. And suggested that I just brush it off🤦🏽‍♀️. I really can’t handle Portland sometimes.

[bipocinpdx]

I've made no friends in portland because it's so fucking hard to find poc here and I'm stuck here for another 8 months. My first month here some dudes drove by while I was at a stop light and yelled go back at home.

<3 it can be very lonely here. We hope you've been able to make some friends/connections since you sent this.

[bipocinpdx]

na

I want to share two experiences I have had out of many. One is specific and the other general. 

I am an half Iranian, half American woman, but I am also Muslim. I often get compliments from women specifically about my headscarf, and how much they love it, the color, the pattern, etc. Never any comment about my shoes, or my shirt, just specifically how much they LOVE how BEAUTIFUL my headscarf is. Sometimes it is quite frustrating, because I will have just thrown on some black, tired looking thing that is the equivalent of wearing sweatpants, and still have women gushing over it. Over time, I have realized this is how white women try to prove their inclusiveness to themselves, they make the comment to feel better about who they think they want to be. My theory was even more validated when I was walking down the street with my black friend one day, and the comments we were receiving were amplified even more. Every few steps we took a woman was gushing about how amazing my friend's coat is, or how beautiful my headscarf is. it is worth noting that it was a weekend, and we just wanted to take a walk, and neither of us were particularly thoughtful in how we dressed. I don't think supermodels get that much attention walking down the street. Over time, I have become conditioned to hate compliments, because I feel they are so disingenuous.

My other experience I wanted to share is more related to how awkward being a POC is in professional environments in Portland. Recently I attended a meeting with city planners, developers, neighborhood representatives, and my own colleagues. In a room of about 20 people, I was one of three women, and the only person of color. I felt like a sore thumb.. people were even afraid to look at me directly, or make eye contact. I was the elephant in the room. 

[bipocinpdx]

I'm so sorry, I thought you were Jewish.

I am of mixed Mexican American and Czechoslovakian decent, and because I am mixed, I do sometimes have passing white privilege. After moving to PDX I got a job at a well known doughnut shop that appropriates the "aesthetically pleasing" parts of some Afro-American religions  (that should have been a big red flag to start with right?!). One day after I was done training a new hire, who happen to be the second Mexican American newly hired that week, the shift manager walks up to me and asks which shop the new hire was going to work at. I replied, "I think he is gong to work at this shop." Then the manager throws his arms up and lets out a huge sigh. Then he loudly proclaims with disappointment, "Great! Just what we need, another spic around here!" My mouth drops open and I glare at the manager and say "WTF?! I'm fucking Mexican, dude!" The manager turns to me and says all soft and gentle, "Oh, Kat I am so sorry, I thought you were Jewish because of your hairy arms and all." As though his mislabeling of me somehow made a difference at all to his douchebaggery! I have been called every single slur about Mexicans while living in PDX. I am also continually asked, "What are you?" UGH! it is infuriating.

[bipocinpdx]

"That would be funny if ICE came on this train right now..."

"That would be funny if ICE came on this train right now, wouldn't it?"

This young man said, looking for my reaction, after aggressively staring at me on the train for the past 10 minutes. He butts in on a conversation two white women were having about how many police there were out that day and says "Maybe it's ICE." and turns to me to gauge my reaction. The women shrug. He then says "That would be funny if ICE came on this train right now, wouldn't it?" and looks for my reaction again.

I am Latinx, so, apparently, he assumed I'd be terrified (I'm also a citizen). I was busy looking at notes on my way to a final and didn't want to give him the reaction he wanted. At least the women replied "No, it f**king wouldn't." (thanks ladies). 

[bipocinpdx]

I'm sorry but I just have to say this...

After a night at the club me and a few 'friends' headed back to the parking garage downtown. Two boys and three girls. One of which was my best friend of over ten years driving us (he's a red head and has suffered somewhat of the same indifferences I have, so it seemed). The girl, being white.. Had expressed her affection for black people.. In a strange way always comforted me... Anyhow driving through the parking garage a man... A white man crosses in front of the car without looking.. Whatever.. This b**** turns to ME and says " I'm sorry but I have to say this but that guy is being a nigger"... My first feeling was anger.. Then confusing because everyone in the car got very quiet when I errupted in statement asking why the fuck would you apologize then use a hateful slur to describe some dick walking in front of our car.. I was completely shocked and felt betrayed and alone because I had know one standing up for what was complete exercise of white privledge. Not even my best friend said a word. These are people that sit around and express elevations ans vibrations of their self.. Third eyes bulging out of their foreheads. Blah blah.. Well.. I got a half hearted sorry and it wasn't mentioned again.. God forbid someone do the same.. The whole fucking gang is on it. That's just one example of shit I've experienced. Of the worst being people touching my hair before asking, I was once told my treatment in our house was that of a house nigger and white people constantly letting it be know they have black friends when saying "nigga". I hope that doesn't offend you because most of my friends are black.. Like that makes it okay... Fuck that shit.

[bipocinpdx]

ling-ling

i am a young asian woman. i was at my psychiatrist appointment the other day and while my psychiatrist was explaining to me an experiment, she tried to relate by saying, "supposing i'm ling-ling, right... and ling-ling is asian, like you". it is really not outrageous or anything but for real.. i was frozen for a solid second because i really did not know if my psychiatrist was only trying to relate to being me or she just picked the first "asian" name she could think of and it happened to be a slur. like was she being racist or was i too sensitive.

[bipocinpdx]

what's the difference between the different "oriental" groups?

someone at an uppity athletic club, near downtown Portland, recently asked me what's the difference between all of you "oriental" folks?  such an ignoramus doesn't deserve a response, correct?!  but, i felt obligated to educate the ignorant.  My answer to this stupid question? - same noodles, different sauces.  'Oh, thought so.' was this moron's reaction.  these people may have money, but they do not have a clue!  it is too bad that we are surrounded by all of these small minded people who rule and run this city.

[bipocinpdx]

Uber Driver Lectures

I'm from New Orleans but travel to Portland for business sometimes for conferences downtown. Last time I was heading back to PDX in an Uber, I had this white guy telling me how sorry he was that I lived in such a racist shithole and how horrible it must be to live in the south. Meanwhile, I'm thinking that I've only seen a handful of people my skin tone the whole time I been here. At home I see people like me every day working hand in hand with people of all color. I wonder if these white kids have ever left Portland, much less the US.

[bipocinpdx]

White Guilt

I am half Indigenous, half Jewish AFAB and nonbinary.  I used to go to a queer hot tub night. I had a cis white gay man tell me that he wished, "he was just a little native so he wouldn't have to feel his white guilt". I never went back. 

[bipocinpdx]

Just came across this blog and thought I’d share a bit of my experience for the greater good of my fellow marginalized poc folks out there. I am a young black woman (mixed if I’m being more specific, with white and Belizean). And the other night while minding my own damn business at a bus stop with a close friend of mine(who happened to be white), a white man decided to spark up a conversation out of no where with me. He proceeded to ask me how I felt about black men. Now, it’s late at night, I’m in the middle of the Lloyd district by Holiday Park (for my fellow Portlanders, you know where this is smh) and he started to ask me about advice I would give to him about “dealing with his black coworker” as he put it. He said that he “figures I would know how to handle them since I’ve probably had lots of experience with them”  and how “they are always so intimidating” I don’t know why in the hell this person thought it was ok to try and talk to me about this but here we are. Before I have a chance to say anything back, my bus arrives. I am beyond furious while riding home, and of course my white friend didn’t seem to comprehend the magnitude of the situation. And suggested that I just brush it off🤦🏽‍♀️. I really can’t handle Portland sometimes.

[bipocinpdx]

So, I'm a Latina lesbian and I don't like the Philly flag. The black and brown just look... tacked on, like an afterthought. I did see a really awesome alternate version though, that had smaller stripes gradiating from black to pale brown in between the regular rainbow colors. I think it both looks better and gives a clearer message of unity and common identity in being gay without surrendering our racial struggles. Thoughts?

what do you all think?

[bipocinpdx]

Im not sure if i should be upset about something. Ive long sinced stop caring what white people tell me, but the other night i was showing my friends scenes from filipino shows and one friend (a white guy) started mocking the language (tagalog) by doing that faux indian voice (pekapekapekapeka etc.) and it actually bothered me because my family speaks this language. Idk i like being their friend whenever theyre not insulting my people but it happens alot.

Definitely worth feeling upset over! 

[bipocinpdx]

How do brown people feel about those "In our America LOVE WINS" signs? They seem like such sanctimonious crap and I tend to see them in pricy neighborhoods where brown people are largely (I'm guessing, anyway) not present/recently gentrified out. Whenever I see them I assume that a guilty-feeling centrist lives there.

this question from you a white person to a BIPOC blog is literally an example of something someone might submit here as a microaggression. Move along. 

[bipocinpdx]

I am a white heterosexual male who is woefully ignorant about anything beyond my own white experience. The truth is I am too scared of what could be taken away if I were to speak out or contradict what I hear all the time from other people of my race, gender and shared heteronormative qualities. I’ve read articles about how to be an ally but I start thinking to myself “Do I really care?” “Would it even make a difference?” “Am I just a narcissist, who is virtue signaling?” What is your take?

Not the place dude, move along. 

[bipocinpdx]

Do you actually post real stories from POC or do you pull this shit out of your white guilt ridden ass?

It’s always great when the messages prove the point of this whole blog. 

Yes, these absolutely are real stories.

[bipocinpdx]

“Sorry, I know I probably shouldn’t touch it...”

Last week I was off for the holidays, but my girl had to go to work on the day after Christmas. She’d forgotten to bring a lunch, and she works downtown where everything is overpriced for the most part. So I decided to spontaneously bring her something and chill with her on her break (so romantic right). Anyway, her building is right next to Peet’s Coffee so we went there. The table we sat at was in the back right near the bathroom. It’s getting close to the time that she has to get back to work and the place is getting pretty crowded. A line starts to form for the bathroom near our table. So we’re carrying on with our convo and being cute or whatever, having a moment. And this white lady walks up to my girl and just puts her hand in my girl’s hair...she didn’t even say hello first. My girl’s hairstyle is like these really big curls. It’s super cute. The lady just grabs at it and says “Ugh, your hair is so beautiful.” I was legit in shock. Like people really do that? Like grown ass adults? I dealt with it mostly when I was younger and with people I know or at least acquaintances. But never have I seen a complete stranger do it without even saying hi first. I’m sure my face showed my disgust and shock. And my girl was so nice about it. I expected her to pop off but she said thank you. What trips me out the most is that the lady (probably feeling the tension and our discomfort) says, “Oh I know I probably shouldn’t touch it. I’m sorry it’s so nice.” So if you know then why would you???? I was sooo confused. That made it even worse to me. Like she’s well aware of the implications, but still decided to do it? My girl responds saying, “Yeah people usually just don’t touch it,” in the nicest but also firmest way. We dipped soon after because the lady was still standing there waiting to use the restroom. It was so awkward and weird and I felt like we both didn’t process it until after we left. Like wow. White folks really out here just groping black people’s hair without acknowledging the person first. The audacity.