The Miracle Paper [Testimony] by petitelrica
Maybe some of you can't relate to what I am experiencing right now but I had this work every after my class schedule, 5 o'clock pm to be exact, weekdays to a wealthy family, and my job is to guide and teach their daughter in her studies. In other words, a tutor.
Just this afternoon, I was killing the time sitting on the bench near the main gate of our school. Waiting for the time to strike at five o'clock in the afternoon and transformed to be a 'teacher by night' (It was my term since I am a student by morning). I was a loner sitting quietly, holding my tab and my phone as well and connect it to wi-fi and checked my Facebook account until I got bored and begin to think of things that are real. We just had this minor financial problem that I admit I had a mistake in budgeting our allowance for the whole month of April. Although, we have paid all the expenses that needs to be paid, yet, there was a bias in increasing the budget to that specific bill and confidently paid extra to it. It was too late to take it back and seems it led us to the consequence part. Now, we have not enough extra budget left for our food and fare. All my life it has been my struggle -- budgeting. But at this very moment since that incident happened, I change the way how I deal and face this kind of problem.
It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon, from school I need to travel to the waiting shed near to a tennis court and there my tutee's dad picked me up with their car and went to their home. While travelling I was thinking to whom I'll seek help financially and decided to text my best friend who lives to the other island, and she said that she is willing to help. So I was hopeful and really feel sorry to myself. I told her that I will pay her as soon as I received my pay from my work.
(Yes, I can ask for a Cash Advance (CA) but I already did got the half but it was spend to my school stuff and food that last for a week and I am to shy already to ask for second time for this month since my schedule tutoring my tutee was schedule MWF and thinking I could only receive half of the pay than the usual pay which is school year class schedule. So I didn't bother asking about it and really thought for another solution of the problem)
So as soon as we arrived in their home, I quickly went up to her room and do some stretching first then started to answer her booklet from Kumon. This is the challenging part as her tutor, or maybe even as a student in the morning, or a professional teacher in the mere future. When your problem seems to attack your mind and drives your emotion down your mood starts to change with a mixed of annoyance and kinda not liking to work at all. But I didn't let it ate my entire mind and soul and really pushed myself to think positive. Part of me seems to tell me that I am NOT special at all. I don't deserve to have a great life that is why this happens to me all the time. My mistakes are not acceptable and cannot be forgiven at all. Then as I looked my self in the mirror behind her study table, it seems it was telling me that I am ugly and useless (I just want to share all the attacks that happened to me). No one will accept me as I am because I am a young woman who works hard but NO ONE appreciates my hard work and that I am old at my age to study and work as well. It seems my past is visiting my mind again. BUT then, I didn't let myself lose by the judgement of my past. It was really a battle between maturity and immaturity on how to deal with this problem. Then I realize I have to believe in miracle.
We were almost done with her last booklet and she seems to work fast because she was excited to do whatever she wants (well, kids always love that part -- watching television) and I can't deny it that I was happy as well because at last I can go home already and have my short time of rest before I study my lessons in school. Suddenly, someone opened the door of her room and it was her Ate (Yaya). As usual, I don't really mind who opens her door because I just really want to focus on guiding her, i mean I am used to it that someone would open her door randomly. But this time was the moment that I NEVER expected. Her Ate asked me; "Excuse me teacher! Did you receive your cash advance already last week?" then I answered in a soft and tuttered voice "Yes, Ate. I already receive it." (With a smile on my face) I thought it was the end of conversation but then she explained and passed me this paper; "Here teacher, your other half-pay for this month. I'll just give this to you in advance before I forget to give it to you." And I just couldn't believe what had happen and all my only response to her was; "ahh, thank you ate." As she went outside the room I checked the paper and to my surprise that I know this sounds weird and crazy but tears starting to fall from my eyes! I just couldn't stop it so I let it fall anyhow (while my tutee was serious answering her last 3 page of her booklet). Then I heard this very soft voice and this is the exact word I heard:
"Claire, I care for you and I love you. You are special to me and you deserve this. You deserve to be loved. Take this and use it for your needs." [I translated it to English because some words were in Cebuano]
I was leave speechless for awhile and I really couldn't stop my tears falling. I am sure that it was a tears of joy and finally, I looked up and said; "God, thank you!".
I didn't bother to ask God for a miracle to happen that day but he did. Right now, no words can really define the bliss that I feel deep inside of me. All I really know of what just happened to me is that God's favor was upon me and I remember that I did asked him for favor before I leave the house early in the morning to school. The times that I didn't believe that miracle happens and prayer doesn't work at all just ended today. I give back the glory and honor to my loving and caring God!