Men Stop Threatening To Kill Your Daughters Boyfriends To Prove Your Masculinity and Show That Your Daughter Is Your Property 2k14

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@bipolarhoeee
Men Stop Threatening To Kill Your Daughters Boyfriends To Prove Your Masculinity and Show That Your Daughter Is Your Property 2k14
The truth is that I still miss him and I donât think I will ever stop missing him.
How are you?
How should I reply, that for months, I wasnât myself
My core is rocking, the tectonic plates I have been standing on quaking
People, time, moving on continuously without me
I so desperately want it to slow down
To simpler times
When the thought of you made things easier
Of a future in which you would be a part of
Of a constant variable that I could rely on
Yet, you were as fleeting as the weather
Once more, a temporary cure
Who gave me happiness, abundant of it
But you walked away, snatching it all away
Even today, I wondered if we didnât crossed paths,
Would it have been easier?
If I didnât let myself to be swayed
If I didnât entertain the thoughts that you were here to stay.
- WallflowerÂ
âFunny how I still think about our future even when we donât have a present anymore.â
â p.n.
Erased
I started slow, like a child taking their first steps,
Then became frantic, like a starving animal insight of prey
I walked into the wind and felt it wail in the ears you had whispered in
To whip through the hair you had once ran your fingers through
I swam in the ocean and let the salt fill my nostrils where your musky scent lingered
I let the water fill my mouth,until the taste of you was washed away in the waves
I stopped and stared at the sun,until a clean slate had been burned into the eyes you had claimed to admire
I lay in its heat,until every inch of my skin burned red like the lipstick you smudged each time we met
And any part of me that your hands had caressed had been incinerated
I buried myself in the earth,
Until the finger tips that had searched your body for an answer it would never find
Had grown a garden of flowers, for every broken promise that lay between us
I destroyed the pictures and the dresses and the gifts and the memories
And with it the pain and the regret and the aching
I started slow like a child taking their first steps,
This is how I erased you
âI hate how your phone calls and messages still give me the hope of an âusâ but that wonât happen.â
The Inner Dialogue of Someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder and is in a Relationship
First of all, Iâd like to make it clear that my relationship is honestly quite amazing. We have a very honest, open, secure, accepting, understanding, and supportive relationship. But when you have BPD, your illness tells you things and makes you think things that are extremely hard to deal with, even in the best relationship.
What do you even see in me? Iâm filth. Iâm trash. I am the emperor of garbage. When are you going to realize Iâm a horrible person? Am I good enough for you? Am I being too clingy, too needy, too emotional, too much? Am I being too distant, too detached, too little? Will I be enough this time? Are you going to abandon me? When are going to abandon me? Are you lying to me? Do you actually love me or are you just saying that? Do I have too much baggage? Iâm such a burden to you. You deserve so much better.. Youâre going to leave me, everybody leaves ⊠Am I just a back up option? Something to use until something better comes along? ⊠Why are you with me, Iâm nothing.. Does my risky behaviour stress you out? Do I stress you out? Am I difficult? ⊠I canât âhandleâ myself, how is anybody else supposed to? I hate myself, how can anybody actually love me? If I donât love myself and they say you canât love somebody else if you donât love yourself does that mean Iâm lying to myself? Oh god Iâm such a piece of shitâŠÂ Am I good enough? Tell me Iâm good enough⊠tell me itâs okay⊠tell me you love me Should I tell you how I feel? No, no, no, you wouldnât understand Iâm always so depressed and boring⊠are you bored with me? Youâll get bored. Until I do something impulsive or destructive. Then Iâll stress you out and add drama to your life. Omg Iâm a horrible person, you deserve better Nothing will ever help me, you donât deserve this Oh shit, Iâm so annoying How do you put up with me? Fuck I love you, so so so so much, but Iâm terrified youâre going to hurt me or Iâm going to be bad for you ⊠It doesnât matter how many times he reassures me or tells me being mentally ill doesnât make me a burden, my illness convinces me I am.. I practice skills and go to therapy and do my best every single day. Some people get into a relationship with someone with BPD or another mental illness and have this idea they can âfixâ them or it will magically âgo awayâ, it wonât. It doesnât mean their feelings for you are any less or that they want to be this way⊠the support is amazing, being loved is amazing, but it doesnât cure illnesses.
Your patience and support and encouragement and reassurance is always appreciated, but donât get into the mindset that you have to be our therapists. Be our partners. Thatâs all we want from you, a partner.
And if youâre the one with bpd, donât think that these thoughts mean your love is any less valid. You are deserving and capable of giving and receiving love, despite what your illness tells you đđđ
little things that can help you if you have bpd
iâve been seeing a lot of topics like âhow to deal with someone who has bpdâ and it always bothers me, because there is basically no topics about how to deal if YOU have bpd. thatâs why iâm making this post, in my opinion as someone who has bpd. feel free to leave other tips and comment!
buy a notepad and write about your emotions. in DBT (dialectical behavior therapy), used a lot to help people with BPD, they tend to help others to regulate their emotions, basing on some principles, like:
identify and classify emotions; usually, people with BPD suffered/suffer from emotional abuse and it makes harder for us to have a knowledge about our feelings, since we never had someone to help us in this aspect. if you have hard times dealing with your emotions, you can create a special organization on your notepad, basing on: what just happened that could be a possibly trigger to your feeling? (EVEN IF ITâS SOMETHING MINOR, for example, if your friend replied to you in a different way, if you saw an image that made you feel uncomfortable); what are your physical symptoms about it? (for example, if you feel butterflies in your stomach, you are possibly anxious); what does this feeling make you want to do? (for example, if you feel like you want to hit something, you are possibly experiencing anger). and, also, try to identify your primary and secondary emotions, for example, if a friend forgets about an event that you would go together, first you may feel anger, but this anger can be followed by frustation or sadness (secondary emotions).
how to âchangeâ your emotions; after writing about your emotions and trying to learn about them, you can add a subject in your notepad about âWHAT CAN I DO TO CHANGE THIS FEELINGâ. your first thoughts may be pessimists, specially because borderlines are VERY impulsives, like âi should probably self-harmâ or even âi should probably kill myselfâ, due to the intensity of bpd emotions, but right now, you have to think with your rationality. for example, if your friend is delaying to reply, you can think about the possibilities that are causing this problem: if they are busy, if they are having a hard time or if they just donât want to talk right now. after thinking about the situation as a whole, youâll ask yourself âokay, but what will i do?â and thatâs why i think itâs important to create a list about what makes you happy and what distracts you, so everytime you have a hard situation to deal with, you can check on your list. âoh, iâm having x problem, but in my list it says that painting makes me happy, so what about painting something i saw today?â. if you donât have anything that you like about, there is an app called Calm Harm, that can help you in self-harm situations!
increase and improve positive emotional events; i know that itâs difficult for us to focus on positive moments, but once you are feeling down, please try to write about what happened in your day that was a good thing. and when i say it, i donât mean a BIG thing, it can be something like seeing a flower in your garden. write about your sensations when your experienced this moment and think about the possibility of living this moment more than once. for example, if i saw a flower and it made me happy, can i try to plant one, so iâll see it more often?
apply pressure tolerance techniques; by distraction, self-care, improving the moment and considering pros and cons.
SO, in your notepad, have a space to: first, identify and classify your emotions; second, a space to write about how to change your emotions; third, a space to write about positive emotional events and fourth, write about what pressure tolerance techniqures you can apply to your life.Â
practice saying no and saying what you need to the people around you; sometimes people with BPD tend to think that we are a burden to friends and family, and sometimes itâs not true. due to it, we often donât tell what we really want. so, if you could, please, practice saying NO and what you REALLY need and want to people around you, even if itâs minor things. for example, if someone asks you to lunch with them, but you canât/donât want to, donât let your abandonment fear decides what itâs the best for you, just say no, but not in the intention to hurt the other person. âiâm sorry, i really like you, but i canât or donât want to, since i have to do x thing/feeling x thing, but i really like you!â. when you say no, you can have a better idea about what you like and what you donât, so you can start to let people know about it. for example, âhey! yesterday i said no when you invited me for lunch, so i realized i donât really like going to public places, what about having lunch in my house next time?â
practice breathing techniques; intense emotions can lead us to panic situations or really bad physical symptoms. in stressing moments, we hold the air, increasing the level of carbon dioxide in our system, so the organism thinks we need more oxygen and make us breathe faster. the imbalance increases our heart beats, our blood pressure and the release of hormones such as adrenaline. i recommend ASMR videos to relax and you can breathe slowly, imagining a circle opening and closing, like the gif:
the post is getting long, so iâll finish here! iâll probably post a part two if you guys like! please leave a comment if it was helpful and iâm sorry if my grammar wasnât very correct, english is not my native language.
remember that everything here is theoritical and itâs hard to apply these tips in your life, things will not suddenly change. but i believe in you and things take time, so donât give up on getting better.
If a boy hits my daughter, I will not tell her it is because he likes her, I will instead teach her how to fight back and defend her feelings as much as her body. And if a teacher tries to excuse his behaviour, I will remind them how inflicting pain on someone is a terrible way to show them you like them and a worse way to get attention. Little girls who know how to roar are not sheep to little boys who think they are wolves.
Nikita Gill (via meanwhilepoetry)
1:13 PM: i skipped school because i couldnât get through the day without your good morning text. i made it through 3 days. for some reason 4 has been hell. 1:14 PM: i woke up around 9 this morning and havenât left my bed once because my body feels broken and numb from all the crying iâve done. but i canât cry now. i feel nothing. i miss you but i feel nothing. i guess thatâs what you wanted. congratulations. you got what you wanted from me, but you always have anyways. 2:27 PM: you told me you thought it would be best that if i still loved you we should cut ties until i figure things out. if thatâs what you really want then you should know iâm never going to speak to you again because iâm always going to love you and iâll never be able to figure things out because you still wonât tell me why. Â 3:16 PM: you told me you stopped loving me months ago and only got back with me because you felt bad for hurting me. if you cared enough to do that, why did you not think that it would hurt me even more when you left for good? 7:46 PM: i hope she was a good fuck. i really hope it was worth it.
-texts i almost sent
http://iglovequotes.net/
I bet our dead ancestors are shouting at our daily issues like one does watching a cheesy horror movie.
missing you feels a lot like an arrow to the heart. cupidâs bow aimed to please but left me bleeding out instead. how are you supposed to heal a wound when it keeps being reopened? how do i get you to love me back?
thereâs no poetic way to say that when cupid fired his arrow it only hit one of us// 4am (via 4am-reflections)
Didnât anyone ever tell you? Donât make promises you canât keep Because those promises you made to me Are the reasons why I canât sleep, The reasons why I can no longer eat, Theyâre the reasons why Iâm still holding on And those promises you made to me, Theyâre tearing me up inside out
Please donât make promises you canât keep (via pretty-smiles-dark-thoughts)
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