a place where i whine abt my mental illnesses

hey!!! my name is lu and this is my mental illness blog!!! my things are okay to reblog if you also have bpd or avpd or ocpd. please like my posts if you read them!!! abt the bpd groupchat links for mobile

[tumbrr]

30 moods in 30 minutes.

[tyecebutler-blog]

[apricityjane]

That Quiet BPD feel when you want people to know how much you’re suffering but you can only fantasize about acting out

[bippy-dee]

someone: ....have you ever considered....how your mental illness makes ME feel?! how much you're hurting Me????

me: i actually consider that every single day of my life and think about how much better it would be if i was dead but thank you for your contribution, i love being reminded of how much of a burden i am

[wastingmytime-andyours]

9:00 am, I send you a text “Good morning, I hope you slept well” I continue to get dressed 9:05 am, I check my phone No reply You are probably still asleep I eat breakfast 9:10 am, I check my phone Still no reply My mind races to the night before What did I say? What did I do? I don’t know what happened But all I know is this, It’s over. You are surely gone forever. I feel tears and I feel rage Welling up inside me And surely I am about to burst I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, How could you do this? How could you leave me alone like this? I needed you You were my rock, my sunshine, And I know why you left, It was because you couldn’t handle Because every day I am up and down And round and round And I have dragged you on this, This wild roller coaster ride And you couldn’t handle it Who can handle it? 9:30 am, my phone chimes “I overslept, I’m sorry” I smile I was wrong this time

Dating Mental Illness (via wastingmytime-andyours)

[averagefairy]

i love when people ask me “what are you anxious about” like…….about??? you think this is based on reason? rationality? never heard of that

[kaerlighedsbrev-deactivated2020]

okay but lets talk abt how easy it is to abuse psychotic people, esp if youre nonpsychotic. ppl know that clustered ppl are easier to abuse but no one mentions those on the psychosis-spec when honestly, its a big deal.

it is so easy to gaslight us, because our perceptions of reality are already warped anyway. so when someone makes us doubt, we will believe them (even with actual proof of the opposite sometimes), because we cannot trust ourselves.

when we trust you, its so easy to make us dependent on you? its so easy to tell us youll keep us safe, and that the bad things youre doing are to help us.

you can so easily feed into our delusions, either by making us distrust everyone else (esp if were paranoid) or to make us trust you more, or just to get a good old laugh.

making us believe were hallucinating when were not, purposefully twisting our words when were disorganised, making us depend on you for a check on reality, telling us you know whats best for us bc our psychosis will make us cope in “bad” ways, ignoring what we tell you, blaming our reactions on our psychosis, making us seem irrational, threatening to hospitalise us because people will definitely believe you when you say were dangerous, there is so much more which nonpsychotic people do that no one talks about.

but most importantly:

you can excuse your abuse, make others believe youre in the right, because we wouldnt know whats best for us, right? no one would believe us when they know were psychotic, and thats so easy to take advantage of.

people really have to look out more for psychotic people that are being abused, and trust their words over their abuser’s

(please spread the word also if youre nonpsychotic)

[distantmirrror-deactivated20200]

I think one of the worst parts of BPD is having immense pain in your chest because someone hasn’t answered your text for a matter of minutes or hours and then having a mental breakdown because they just won’t answer but once they do, you feel relieved and it’s like the whole thing wasn’t even a big deal in the first place.

[triceratops-tricerabottoms-deac]

the thing I hate most about bpd is it feels like you’re watching someone else ruin your life almost like it’s on tv and you’re just begging pointlessly, please don’t isolate yourself, your family is getting worried. please don’t break up with him, I do really love him. please speak to these people, they’re important to me. please, please, just let me have relationships

please

[dogboyism]

[lantur]

low key depression:

putting off going to bed at night because you don’t want to wake up and do the same shit all over again the next day

waking up in the morning but putting off getting out of bed because you don’t want to face the day

mentally and emotionally tired all the time, fed up/frustrated/disgruntled with everything

[jennyhoelzer-deactivated2016120]

[fireable-deactivated20180203]

for all ppl who are healing at a slower pace than they’d like: i’m proud of u, healing and peace and safety will come soon. i believe it & believe in u

[macapun0]

attention: elsewhere and not on me me, mentally: screaming

[macapun0]

you ever just? depressed?

[macapun0]

people? actually? loving me and enjoying my company?

[bpdvoid]

nobody likes me so jot that down,