son the hedge @averagefairy - Tumblr Blog

The more I think about it the more I really think a huge portion of my personality was formed by watching way too much who’s line is it anyway as a child

Can everyone please send all your good vibes to my sweet kitty she’s very ill and I’m not sure if she’s going to be okay but it might help if you shoot laser beams of health at her with your mind

#her name is chestnut #and her liver is being a real son of a bitch

A great source of comfort for me is truly that I’m wrong a lot. I’ve been terribly wrong about so much. so whenever I get locked into worst case scenario spirals if I just remind myself that I’m probably wrong I feel a little better.

I honestly think sitcoms ruined my perception of adulthood so bad I literally was raised by Seinfeld and friends and thought that adults had so much free time. Those hoes were never at work. I have to make appointments to get coffee with my friends a month in advance. Joey lied to my face

I know I’m not stupid but I also feel like I’m just not smart in a way that has ever translated to corporate success. Is it possible to be somewhat intelligent in real life but dumb as rocks at work because that’s honestly me

hypothetically what would you diagnose me with if I said my first crush was floop from spy kids

There really is nothing fun about working in an office besides sometimes when I’m zooming around my workspace in my swivel chair I feel kinda like that scene in my big fat Greek wedding when she catches John Corbett’s eye through the window

the older I get the more I miss my grandma and just desperately wish I could talk to her. my time with her was so limited and I wasted it being too young to ask her all the questions I need answers to. The grief is so unique too because she died 7 years ago and I’ve become sadder about it each year, like it’s been building up over time instead of fading.

I love croutons cause like yeah this salad needs some bread

Guys what’s my essence? What’s my kibbe body type? My subtype? Am I cat pretty or deer pretty or bunny pretty? What’s my color season? Am I high contrast or low contrast? Do I have high or low visual weight? Am I prominent or soft? Which fruit am I shaped like? Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

they say beggars can’t be choosers but idk guys i sure do a whole lot of begging AND choosing. Life is pretty much only begging and choosing

the way I feel about dying is like I’m not afraid of it necessarily but I’m just super pissed off that so much is gonna happen after I’m gone. Like the fear isn’t really about my soul entering the abyss it’s actually FOMO for all of the wild shit that will eventually happen that I won’t get to read funny tweets about…. like I’m mad

I actually think January is in desperate need of a complete rebrand I just don’t think now is the time to be hitting the ground running or starting fresh or grinding it’s literally time to sleep and restore. It’s the darkest depths of winter, it’s the coldest month of the entire year. I think that trying hard in January goes against nature and I’m not just saying that because I don’t want to go to the gym I truly feel like we’re not respecting the seasons and turning our backs completely on the natural flow of things and it’s so BAD for your BODY and SOUL!! like it’s not a coincidence that seeing the snow melt and the buds appear on the trees every spring makes me want to live again like that’s how it’s supposed to feel and trying to force that feeling in January while everything around you is at peak levels of dead is so insane