Star trek TOS x reader (Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty)
POV: You almost died on an away mission
Warning: reader is severely hurt (little to none of actual description); angst;
James Kirk
The man almost went grey trying to perform his duty and keep a straight face while worrying up a storm about your troop which, after being beamed down on the surface of a freshly discovered planet, suddenly lost contact with the ship and wouldn’t respond again.
He couldn’t find peace even for a second, trying to occupy himself with whatever he could think of – a task, or, if he didn’t have any, a silly game, a sparring session, a chat with Spock or Bones.
The latter tried to cheer their captain up, each in their own manner, but it didn’t seem to help much for Jim’s eyes would only grow heavier with each passing hour.
No matter how hard he tried to prepare himself for the worst, when you and your comrades were finally brought back aboard, the sight of you, unconscious and brutalized, felt to him like a punch in the stomach.
Kirk would find any excuse to visit you at the sickbay; his visits became so frequent that even McCoy finally snapped, advising Jim to “mind his dam’ business” - bothering you every 15 minutes wouldn’t do you any favor.
But the captain would return after another 15 minutes anyway.
When you were still unconscious, he would sit there, holding your hand, maybe tell you about his day just to show you he was there, even if he couldn’t actually help.
Grim thoughts of you never waking up deprived Jim of his own sleep.
So, when you finally did open your eyes, the captain simply couldn’t contain his happiness and squeezed air out of Bones’ lungs in a bear hug, thanking him for saving your life.
Now that you have recovered, Kirk makes sure to assign you only missions he is personally attending.
He has certainly developed a sort of separation anxiety, turning clingier that he has ever been and being overly protective at times (which you eventually bring up and you two try to work though).
If you haven’t been married yet, Jim definitely suggests a wedding and, should you accepted his proposal, orders to prepare the ceremony.
He wants to ensure that, if he was to lose you, you two would experience as much as possible together before it happened.
Spock
No one could tell what he was feeling when your transmission abruptly died after a short cry of pain rang through the radio.
Externally, he remained completely unbothered; maybe a slight confused frown would do the change.
Meanwhile, on the inside, Spock was terrified.
Of course, he was doing his best not to let his emotions interfere with his job. Not even once he left his station without a need or bothered anyone with unnecessary concerns or questions. It would be illogical after all.
Yet, every time Uhura would report, his eyes instinctively darted in her direction, barely perceptive flickers of fear and hope jolting in their dark depth.
Unfortunately, minutes were turning into hours, and there was still nothing.
Jim tried to talk to him, to make his friend open up and relieve the load he knew Spock was carrying inside, only to be pushed away with a truly Vulcan stoicism. Spock considered his problems irrelevant while you and other people lost were the top priority.
At last, after tiresome searching, the troop was beamed back on board.
Spock didn’t leave his post until Kirk (gladly) permitted him to.
Only then the Science officer allowed himself a small weakness, personally escorting you to the sickbay and staying by your side a few extra minutes to ensure you were safe and stable.
His face was unreadable, but his tense figure and unnatural lack of attention to anything but you instantly told Bones how concerned he was.
Though, McCoy couldn’t possibly imagine the pain that struck Spock at the sight of your limp, bruised body. If not for his Vulcan ways, he would have collapsed right there and then, crying like a child.
Jim relieved him off duty despite Spock’s repeated protests, justifying this action with: “your partner needs you much more than the Enterprise right now, Spock”.
According to his captain’s (and very much his own) wishes, Spock would pass all the time he had with you.
When you woke up, he was by your side, lost in thoughts, his hand gently stroking your hair.
His voice was calm and soothing as he spoke to you; in fact, you could lie there and listen to him talk all day, but instead you chose to surprise Spock with a Vulcan kiss.
A wide smile of relief instantly bloomed on his face, and that alone revealed how much he missed you. As he leaned in for a Human kiss, there were no doubts left.
(Thankfully, McCoy wasn’t there to witness the moment)
Since then Spock always kisses/holds you in his arms a little bit before you have to go on another of your missions, no matter how many people are in the room. Quality time spent with you increases prominently as well.
And don’t even make me start on how protective he has become…
Leonard “Bones” Mccoy
If McCoy was considered irritable while you were around, it became a total disaster once you disappeared.
People were afraid to get near him for Leonard's temper would quickly get the best of him. Even nurse Chapel who had gotten used to her chief’s behavior refused to enter the sickbay with him inside.
He didn't stay at his station though. Instead, he occupied a corner on the bridge and sat there with a gloomy expression on his face, waiting for any news to come.
At times, he engaged in heated arguments with Spock who, clearly displeased at first, soon realized that it was simply the doctor’s way to cope. And so he would indulge McCoy just to keep him occupied.
Yet, with each passing hour Bones was more and more likely to prefer solitude. His eruptive energy faded away, leaving exhaustion and sorrowful indifference behind. Even his normal sassiness looked more like cinical pessimism.
Jim hated to see McCoy act this way, but could do nothing.
Things changed only once you were aboard of the Enterprise again.
Bones instantly went into doctor’s mode, ready to do the impossible to drag you out of death’s jaws. Never before or after that day he was seen working with such passion.
He would sleep on a spare bed at his work place just in case something went wrong, and his rest was hectic as he would constantly get up to check on you.
When your senses returned to you, Leonard was snoring by your bed, disheveled, heavy bags under his eyes. He looked dreadfully exhausted, yet only more endearing to you for all the efforts he had to make fighting for your life.
You couldn’t wait to finally greet your lover. But, as he stirred awake, you immediately wished he didn't. McCoy read you an entire lecture on how stupid your actions were and how you failed to use all survival techniques he thought you knew, his Southern accent and an impressive lexicon of heavy words showing off in all their glory. He even threatened he would convince Jim to remove you from your position and give you a quiet, ship-only related job (spoilers: of course, he didn’t, he values your opinions and freedom of choice).
However, his anger didn’t last too long. After all, he was so very happy you made it back to him. Nurse Chapel found you two in the middle of a fiery kiss, absorbed into your feelings to the point when you wouldn’t notice her until she accidentally dropped a book she was trying to sneak from McCoy’s table.
Since that incident Leonard has been exceptionally strict with you during check-ups. If you are about to get dropped on some random planet again, he will hold an extensive speech, naming all potential threats and how exactly you can avoid them (it doesn’t matter if you know all that already).
At the same time, McCoy has started treating you somewhat softer when it comes to daily life. He tolerates things in you which usually would infuriate him. His appetite for cuddles is now practically insatiable: his hands are constantly on you, or he is in very close proximity to you if anything else is inappropriate.
Reminded so harshly about human mortality, Leonard wants to savor every moment, every sensation, every feeling like it’s the last one, and shows patience for he knows: one day, he will miss even your flaws, but it will be too late.
Montgomery "Scotty" Scott
You could as well grab a knife and stab it though the man’s heart.
Kirk suffered from a moral dilemma. What could he say? Did he have to say it? Wouldn’t it be better if chief engineer knew nothing until the reason of your disappearance was revealed?..
But, eventually, he decided it would be unfair to hide the truth.
Montgomery Scott had never been someone who crumbled under the load of hardship – and he didn’t. Yet, the look Jim received from him at the moment when your name and the word “lost” dropped from his mouth was heart-wrenching.
Scotty would rather deal with the entire system's overload than the news he’d just received. If it was the ship’s fault, he could have easily fixed whatever was wrong. But at the moment… He was powerless, and that was driving him mad.
Seeking distraction, Scotty hurled himself into his work, checking every cable and cog of the vessel with cold, pedantic precision. But no matter what he was doing, his thoughts would inevitably wander back to you.
Fear, pain and boiling rage competed for dominance within his soul, vigor and rebellious by design. Secure walls of the Enterprise he grew to love and call his home unexpectedly appeared restricting and unwelcoming.
All he wanted was to see you, to feel your hand on his cheek, to hear your voice calling him “Monty” once again. Stars, if you were dead, dying beside you would be a better alternative to the uncertainty.
His temptation to break or tear something apart was immense.
Throwing tantrums would do nothing, however. Therefore, Scotty bottled it up, persistently continuing his work in gravely silence; his subordinates held a respectful distance, wary of the intimidating aura he obtained.
He didn’t ask for it, but the captain would periodically contact him and inform Scotty about all actions executed to find you, both to lighten the engineer's worry and keep him company.
Till, finally, Kirk passed him the coordinates.
Never Scotty ran as fast into the transporter room.
What he saw when the troop materialized in front of him was far from reassuring. Cautiously held by your teammates, you offered a dreadful sight to anyone who even slightly cared about you. No one stopped Scotty as he rushed forward and enveloped you in a possessive hug.
McCoy was only half way there when he met chief engineer carrying you to the sickbay.
Every free minute Scotty was able to carve out of his tight schedule was dedicated to you. His shifts inevitably ended with him hurrying to your bed, by which he would linger long after the hour when the rest of the crew went to sleep. At times he would bring a book or a journal along, but, mostly, he was just looking at you. Waiting.
Fluttering your eyes open, you were greeted with his eyes gazing down at you, longing, hopeful and loving. Your awakening broke sturdy shell he maintained, making his emotions come through all at once: next few minutes he was quietly crying on your chest, feeling happy and calm for the first time in what seemed like forever.
Since that day every mission you have to attend puts Scotty in a state of unease. Although he doesn’t want to deprive you of work you enjoy, he also can’t help the worry growing in his chest as he sees you go.
Nightmarish memories wake him up at night, and he watches you sleep, relishing in presence of you, alive and breathing, while his fear dissipates.
Ocasionaly, you catch him stare, somber eyes dweling into your soul.
He doesn’t ever talk to you about the incident. Still, every tightening hug, every tender kiss you share with him shows that life for you two will never be the same.
Set a timer for 15 minutes (or however long you want) and then write. Do not stop. Don't edit or delete anything. Don't hesitate. These 15 minutes are just for you and your writing. Afterwards, you can leave the work as it is, delete it, or edit it. You can either move forward with it or move on from it. But for these 15 minutes, get it all out of your system.
the idea that bi women are all inevitably destined to “end up with” men, that our relationships with women no matter how long or how serious are just meaningless, temporary diversions on our way into the arms of men, that this must be true because attraction to women couldn’t possibly ever sustain itself in the face of all-powerful, all-superior attraction to men, is deeply homophobic and deeply harmful and i won’t let it stand
Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.
No one is more arrogant towards women, more aggressive or more disdainful, than a man anxious about his own virility. Those who are not threatened by their fellow men are far more likely to recognise woman as a counterpart.
I think every Death in Paradise inspector is autistic and bisexual, but Richard didn't know he was either of those things. Jack is aware he's bisexual but not that he's autistic, Neville is aware he's autistic but not that he's bi, and Humph is aware of both but his ADHD eclipses both in terms of weird behaviour.
I love you ocean, I love you beach, I love you seashell, I love you fish, I love you moon, I love you sun, I love you stars, I love you mermaids, I love you ships, I love you sailors, I love you surfers, I love you weird deep sea creatures, I love you pearls, I love you fossils, I love you treasure chests, I love you houseboats, I love you anchors, I love you waves, I love you sea foam, I love you sea glass, I love you-
Can we talk about how chaotic Narnian battles would feel?? Especially in Prince Caspian. Like, imagine you’re a little Telmarine soldier waiting for the catapults to go and you’ve got all your regiments in nice orderly rows and these two 16 year olds suddenly yell “charge” and the ground opens up beneath you, a mouse with a sword the size of a large pencil takes out your bestie, a griffin drops a dwarf 5 ft away from you and he comes up swinging. As you try to rationalize this, you’re stabbed by a twelve year old with a British accent. Finally, a really freaking big lion shows up, roars, and your entire army collectively pees their pants. At one point in the movie (yes I know the movies aren’t quite the same as the book but they’re still good) Peter says like “we have the element of surprise” like dude, you have drafted the trees I’m pretty sure everyone’s gonna be surprised no matter what.
Their mom notices, at the dinner table. She sees no nagging children, no stupid fights. She sees Lucy eating and speaking with perfect manners, Edmund analysing the economy and war with concerning skill, Susan being gracious but poised, like a diplomat.
Their father sees it in Peters eyes the first time they get into a fight. When he moves to punish Edmund for speaking out of turn, Peter calls him out on it. When his gaze meet his eldest son's, he's leveled by the war he sees behind it, the tensed muscle in his arm, the knuckles white around his knife. He's seen that before, in other soldiers. He doesn't know how to react.
Other children notice, too. Talking to all the Pevensie kids at the same time is like being the only one left out of a secret, and the way they touch and tease each other speaks of a history far deeper than their polite demeneor lets on. And when they walk they fall in line, as if there is a natural hierarchy between them.
The first time anyone picks a fight with Edmund, Peter comes home with a three week suspension and blood around his mouth. He looks more alive than you've seen him in weeks.
When Susan gets back in the pool after Narnia, she wins all the contests. Coaches can't explain how to beat her, because they don't understand how she's doing it, either. She seems to almost disappear when underwater.
Lucy, always gay and golden-haired, starts dancing, and never misses a step. She moves with an elegance that no 10 year old should have, and all the girls want to be friends with her
Edmund soon becomes the best student in his faculty. He always seems to know the right thing to say, and teachers laud his ability to think through complex problems. His mouth does get him in trouble sometimes, but the boy seems uncatchable, always talking his way through the cracks. And if not?
No one actively fears Peter, but everyone is a little scared of him sometimes. He's tall for his age, sure, but there is something else, some other air that seems to give him an authority far beyond what's normal for a teenage boy. He's nice enough, but teachers can't stand it, and bullies learn very quickly that pissing him off means missing teeth and black eyes.
The Pevensies are not quite inhuman, but not fully mortal, either
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