[intothenightosphere]

justine is jack and the ziploc eggs woman is holster

[zimms]

confused person in one of tango's classes: i kinda have a problem with the work, but i don't want to ask the professor, so that they don't think i'm dumb

tango:

[eskildit]

my personal headcanon for shittys legal career is that his inspiration to become a lawyer was seeing his dad be acquitted of all indictments of fraud and corruption. shittys life work eventually becomes taking down the type of powerful people he watched constantly avoid the consequences of their actions

[ivecarvedawoodenheart]

long, steady, slow

Justin Oluransi is a good liar.

Or maybe a great one, if you wanna think about it too much — he’s too good at evasive answers, too good at faking affront when he’s caught, too good at answering without confirming or denying, too good at playing the middle until he has to reveal a side. You have to be when you’re the middle child. You have to be when your second family is full of loud opinions and wants and needs.

He’s unpacking one of his six boxes when his phone buzzes. He ignores it, opens his cupboards, starts carefully and methodically moving his mugs and plates and bowls onto the shelves. It buzzes again as he hangs up a calendar in the tiny kitchen and again as he makes his bed and again, again, again when he slumps onto his tiny couch.

Below, the people look like ants. Inside, he feels the same way.

His phone says ??? and Bro why does my phone say you’re in DC??? and are we still driving to Haus 2.0 on Fri or what’s up and Ransy and HELLO and Dude I’m serious, stop leaving me hanging this is totally uncool. And Ransom’s a great liar, but he’s shit at telling the truth; how do you tell the love of your life that you found your own place and another path to walk for a little while, how do you say that you’re afraid of the way he wanted to give you everything and so you had to leave, how do you tell him you took the MCAT last year and applied and got in, how do you say—

He figures it out after rearranging his DVDs. He practices in the shower, head tilted back and water kissing his lips, running the words over and over. Then, tired and lonely and wanting not to be, he dries off and gets dressed (not in his Samwell sweatshirt. Not the one that matches Holster’s.) and sends it. It’s five words. It’s not good enough, but it’s honest.

I got into med school.

He holds his breath as three typing dots pop up. Then they disappear, and he exhales long, steady, slow.

[birkholtzmoment]

Low-hanging fruit but someone had to post it

[intothenightosphere]

ok i cant tag them for some reason but @birkholtzmoment said we should talk abt smh in quarantine under one of my posts -- so i'll start:

so first let's do my already established hcs for quarantined!smh which is 1) dex finds out that bread to him is what pies are to bitty 2) part of his quarantine is spent living with nurse (r they already dating or still pining yrs after graduating? u decide!!!) where he lets ig live on nursey patrol bc hes Annoyed and Tired of being the sole one doing it and 3) chowder accidentally becomes tiktok famous via smh theatrics and being Himself

jack finally listens to mitski and the rest of the depressed indie girls shitty has been begging him to listen to for years (shitty unironcally loves every since indie sad girl all the hot gay girls love shsnns like lardo did Not put him on hes just Like That) and begins his Unhinged Mentally Ill Hot Girl era which means: the birth of his unironic/ironic use of the affirmation memes (s/o to @zimmerwhore), indulging the smh gc in all his history nerd fascinations and other general weirdness!! shittys like "idk wtf ur going thru but i love it i love u keep it going" and bitty is just like "??? hes kind of always been like this but okay"

bitty guest stars in a few bon appétit vids in their quarantine heyday and gets embroiled in that mess despite literally never stepping foot in their kitchens (he just did a couple appearances via zoom) like he just logs into twitter like [donald glover in community where the apartment is on fire dot gif]

bitty also has beef with rogue streak hair junk food to gourmet girl from bon appétit (he refuses to call her by her name) and literally no one, not even jack, knows why (it's a completely one-sided beef tho shsjsjjs they're literally mutuals on everything)

ransom and holster learn how to rollerblade!! they were gonna do rollerskates but blades are easier to find secondhand and are more kin to hockey skates than rollerskates are... and they get X-Treme... and by extreme i mean they hit the skatepark regularly

whiskey goes thru the logan lerman in quarantine treatment which u can only get a glimpse of thru tango and ford's igs and like randomly has facial hair and long luscious locs and the hockey stans just lose their GotDamn Mind (yes whiskey is in the nhl. why? why not!!)

holster also grows a bread but no one is impressed (besides rans, shitty and jack, but jack doesnt say so bc holster is... Like That)

lardo is like... super into tactile art like anything she can hold she makes!! the gag is she's not very good at most of it but it's whatever shitty, rans & hols will use the fuck out of anything she makes and it makes her feel good to just make shit to make it instead of for capitalism's sake!!

shitty somehow gets dex onto podcasts and now dex just walks around with headphones all the time while making bread and fixing shit around the house listening to ppl talk abt everything from niche writer drama news to transformative justice to just random ass audio dramas!! like shitty will just be like "hey listen to this" and dex doesnt even think twice, just adds it to the queue and keep it moving

rans.. gets into DJing?? literally no one knows but holster bc he buys him the equipment for his bday that yr but he just does random mixes, posts them on soundcloud and keeps it moving!! he actually has a v small set of stans who just quietly listen to his music and rave abt it on twitter w/ all their other gay friends and it slowly but surely catches on (only in those circles tho like it doesnt go anywhere he isnt in it for the money but it's so nice to know that he can connect to ppl thru music!! imo rans is def lowkey a music head)

ford and nursey have like an insane snapchat streak + are constantly calling each other at the oddest hours of the day & none of their roommates even ask who they're talking to at like 2am bc it's always the same person!! anyways they're constantly calling each other bc they're Mentally Ill and need support outside of their immediate family/friends/roommates so if smh has like a question for nursey or vice verse they're literally like "idk someone text nursey, someone else text ford, we'll get the answer either way"

and now a little more on ford and nurse bc i love them but lets not lie!! they're Suffering!! ford's fucked up bc The Théâtre is closed literally right as she found her place in the theatre workd + a well paying full-time job that treats her right (that also supports her work in community theatre!) and nurse, after a year of unfulfilling jobs and unpaid opportunities post-graduation, applies on a whim and gets admitted into an mfa creative writing program and then the pandemic hits and Everything Goes To Shit -- so they're both just Down Bad but it's also good bc they get infinitely closer together than they ever were in college

for a couple of monthe the smh gc is renamed to "the one where everyone goes thru a gender crisis" after tango is randomly like "so is anyone here feeling weird abt gender recently??" and like half the gc is just like "yeah", likes the message or just telepathically likes it

and i could go on but i'll stop there for now and on later

[mickstart]

Some of you can't be saved by touching grass anymore

[mickstart]

Think you should go touch the radioactive eating moss at Chernobyl instead and pray it absorbs your vibes

[misseffie]

I really like fictional couples that actually enjoy spending time with each other. It seems like such a simple, mundane thing. But, often, I see fictional couples who are completely enamored and dramatic and willing to die for each other, which is fine. But like… do they enjoy hanging out? Do they have private jokes and would they be friends even if they weren’t in love? It feels like such a basic thing, but it’s something that I actually don’t see that often. And it feels so refreshing and honest compared to these over-dramatic romeo and juliet-esque romances. Just two people who become good friends and because they enjoy each other’s presence so much it grows into a strong attraction. It feels more real and tangible than two attractive people meeting and “falling in love at first sight” - like, of course, you fell in love at first sight! You’re both supermodels! Sorry, can’t relate.

[b1ttle]

10 years into his NHL career, PR finally convinces Jack to make a Twitter and absolutely no one was prepared for how good he’d be at it (Bitty takes all the credit)

__

Based off of these tweets by Tony Hawk which gave me BIG Jack Zimmermann vibes…so this was born-

[goldasschains]

This is very much how I would expect America to treat hockey legend Jack Zimmermann jdjdkfkf

[birkholtzmoment]

Baby girl I can do fucked up things with my gender that you can't even imagine

[birkholtzmoment]

Thinking about Nursey showing Dex poetry he likes as they get closer

[birkholtzmoment]

Idk I think it would be really funny if Nursey showed Dex Richard Siken after Dex came out to him while he was still grappling with internalized homophobia & Dex showed the same poetry collection to Whiskey when Whiskey, still in denial about his own sexuality, turned to him for advice years later

[birkholtzmoment]

I could fix him (make him non-binary)

[birkholtzmoment]

Holster

[tingo-tango]

OMGCP au where Bitty SUCKS at cooking.

[tingo-tango]

@d-man-dex I meant Baking originally and forgot to change it,but now, that I think about it, YOU DO GET IT

Picture Bitty baking with his mama, and they love baking, they love spending that extra time at the end of the meal together. Theres the old family books that have all the recipes for baking and cooking in them and bittys been able to read them for years.

But the thing is? Bitty can't cook.

Bitty, baking extraordinaire, is a disaster when it comes to cooking. With baking. There's a level of control there, a level of intimate understanding of what goes where and who does what.

Cooking? all the family recipes say to do "a feeling" or his mom made things on the fly and Bitty just can't. The stove top scares Bitty a bit. He can use it. Only, he can only use it for baking.

Give him water and a pot for pasta? Last time, he broke the stove. Somehow. Bittys love for Baking seems to have absorbed his ability for cooking.

Jack on the other hand? Jack 110% Zimmerman? Jack "to be in the NHL I'm going to have to feed myself and be an Adult and I need to prepare for the NHL"? Jack "MY dad is Bad Bob who takes care of the cooking"?

Jack is PHENOMENAL at cooking. He learns to cook from his dad (Alicia is fine at it...when supervised). Jack cooked a lot less in his teenage years, but knew the basics, up until the overdose. And after, when Hockey was too much and photography was not has hands on, Jack cooked.

Jack cooked and learned new things because he wanted to challenge himself. He learned new things to make things tasty and good. He learned new things to incorporate stuff I his meals.

Jack likes cooking. He's good at it.

It isnt until Jack sees Bitty blow up a pot making pasta that Jack realizes that not everyone is good at cooking. Not even if they are a baker.

And maybe, after checking practice and homework and just some long days, Bitty find Jack over the stove, cooking and asks if he can try too.

[nocountryforlesbians]

head not empty, many abstract uncommunicatable thoughts

[omgpostsplease]

[uncleshits]

why do we never talk about Holster's nap zone

[skeletonzimms]

were being quiet bc we don’t want to wake him