maryam madness

[birthdayblessings2024]

happy birthday, baby. i love you so much. thank you for being you -- and also teaching me what a good hinge profile looks like. this is the first picture i have of you in my google photos, from april of 21. it's wild to think how much has changed since then. for instance: i would DEFINITELY not smang a dude in the shower while wearing crocs now.. cuz i have decorum. ANYWAY, i just wanted to take a moment to say that i am truly your biggest fan. going through my photos and just seeing your face made my day. you make me laugh in a way that nobody else can, and living so far from you makes me feel like i'm walking around without a limb.

you will forever be the superior gift giver out of us, but i thought this platform could speak to the foundation of friendship that we have built upon both having been on the internet from a young age. i hope you enjoy, and i hope you have the best birthday ever.

xoxo

your favorite lightskin franny

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remember when u ate down with this... or at least i am 99% sure it was this one.... anyway i just know u sang one of my mom's favorite jackson 5 songs and it had me.... as the barbs say... gagged.

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since i am bad at writing, this tumblr page may come across more like a celebration of our friendship than a celebration of you, but i hope that's not the case. i am celebrating you – who you are, and how you are – so hard, always. even if i woke up tomorrow and allah told me we weren't allowed to be friends, i would be okay, because it would make me happy enough to know that a person like you exists and is out in the world making it brighter, funnier, kinder, and smarter. that said, i am glad allah is not going to tell me that. i am glad you exist, and i am glad that you move through the world the way you do, and i am glad that i get to be a part of your life -- even if it is not nearly as big as i wish it could be in this moment. It is genuinely gutting to me that we are so far from one another, but it also genuinely makes me so happy to know that you get to be with family -- especially your mom today. i hope someday i beat the secret hater allegations (lol) because i am wishing for all the best things for you in this lifetime and every one after. you are one of the most fundamentally well-intentioned people i've ever met in my entire life, deserving of everything you have ever dreamed of. like life lowkey owes you LMFAOOOOOO....

anyway, please enjoy maryam. happy birthday. i love you more than anything, and i can't wait to see you soon.

[birthdayblessings2024]

this tweet right here captures perfectly one of the reasons i treasure our relationship so much, and the reason why i chose this format to celebrate your birthday.... i love SO MUCH that you are as willing and ready to dissect the fuck out of popular culture with me. i love that we can send each other stuff like this as a joke and end up having a good ass conversation about the kardashian family as a manifestation of late stage capitalism in the united states... i am finding that growing up in a similar corner of the internet is a good indicator of the strength of one's friendship and judging based on that, inshallah we will never be separated by anyone or anything.

i don't really have any other way to say it except that i LOVE talking to you. i love hearing your opinion, i love hearing you drag a b*, i just love hearing you talk and the way you think. literally when we have a good conversation, it turns a bad day to good; a boring one into an exciting one; you name it. even if we're talking about nothing at all, your perspective is one of the most valuable to me... i always love and respect your opinion, even when the opinion you are voicing is,..."frances you literally cannot say that you just burned her leg with a hookah charcoal."

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i have learned a lot from you about loyalty and love, and what those things look like in action. i think most people in your ~inner circle~ would agree they've never had a friend like you. and how could they? the things you are capable of - even while you are fighting for your life – are frankly incredible. you always - literally always - do the most for your friends to make them feel loved, heard, and valued. constantly keeping tabs; cooking; sending reminders and invitations; it's amazing to me, and it's not something i will ever take for granted. you are such a capable person, which in and of itself is worth applauding; but more than that, you use your capabilities to empower your friends. and, you know when it's time to call bullshit.. i admire the fuck out of both those things. if i can end up even 50% as loving and loyal (autism dependent) as you, i will considerate a victory.

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i literally cannot hear this song without thinking of u doing that thing where u cover ur face and do the hip roll thing... .cracks me the f up to this day....

ps. remember when u tried to teach me how to whine like u when we were in andrew's house... it should be illegal to have an ass like mine with no gross motor skills.

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no further comment

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something i thought about all the time when you were living in that apartment on pomfret last year is how patient you are. with.... so many people. and situations. it's actually unfathomable to me how much grace you give others, and that is one of the things i love most about you. i know i've said this about a thousand times in a thousand ways, but being around you has made me a fundamentally better person. watching you handle the never-ending smell of cat poop and cat hair and the emails from dickinson that never seemed to stop... girl i know you were about to lose your shit all the time LMFAO but i cannot emphasize enough the extent to which i would have given up if i were you and just thrown myself into the street. lol.

last year, while i was realizing that i wanted to live in a world without my ex boyfriend, i also made the more important realization that i don't ever want to live in a world without you. in fact, i just can't see myself in that world. you are such a big part of me now (g@y but true) and i am so grateful we had that time together, just the two of us (plus venus and all her friends) i hope i can take care of you someday the way you cared for me last year. i don't know if i'll ever be able to express how grateful i am that it was us last year, and not anybody else. some of my favorite moments of my life last year were in your room -- even when we're just doing nothing, letting our proverbial nuts hang together reminded me how good life can be. and now, that's my point of comparison when i ask myself if i'm having fun. lol. which kind of means i'm screwed, because it mostly just ends up with me wishing you were here.

[birthdayblessings2024]

this first pic was on your birthday three years ago -- edited for legal purposes. sometimes i think about our time in sojo and am shocked and appalled (?) that we're still alive, based on how we (or maybe this was just me?) treated our bodies. i hope that with time, i'll forget the feral behavior and becky with the good hair, but i will hang on to the memories i have with you/about you. it never fails to amaze me just how much better you did with the space of sojo 6 than mac and i -- you truly gave it sanctuary vibes. sometimes, and i am not kidding, when i'm feeling wound up before i sleep at night and i try to envision my "happy place," it's this room in sojo, with a candle going, us sitting on that damn couch at the foot of your bed having a couple sips of a *bdoobie. you have been good at doing this as long as i have known you -- curating a space to reflect the warmth you emanate. i think a space can tell you a lot about a person, and your spaces have always been an object of my admiration. some of my best and most favorite memories happened with you, in your room -- even if we were doing nothing, it didn't matter, because your rooms are always the best. all this to say, i am so effing excited to be aged and buy a small house together that we can design and make cute with a bunch of knick knacks and whatever. more importantly, i can't wait until we are sharing space together again<3

[birthdayblessings2024]

this is the end of my ted talk, but this is always what i remember about our friendship first -- giggling, being silly, and never being able to take a good photo together for the life of us (trust me -- i looked lol). i thoroughly enjoyed looking back at these pics because it allowed a part of me to relive the complete sense of happiness i feel when i'm posted up chillin with my #1 dawg #teamlightskin lol anyway.

there's no amount of pictures or words in the world that can explain what a phenomenal person you are, and there's definitely no way for me to come close to expressing how much you mean to me. but i tried. happy birthday maryam, i love you.