Bitch does Europe! @bitchdoeseurope - Tumblr Blog

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A taste of the lights

Too long, didn't read ?

96 days

2.5 weeks solo

3 tours

2 continents

28 countries

1 best friend reunion

1 anniversary spent apart

1,000,000 + steps

1 skydive

136 new faces

4 online banking incidents

1 happiest place on earth

3 weeks of chaff

7,219 iPhone photos

7 ferries

12 flights

1 flight delay

4 foreign public transport systems

5 express trains

67 continental breakfasts

8 chimney cakes

6 pumpkin spiced lattes

1 very missed puppy

400 doggo sightings

3 broadway shows

3 vomits in the street

3 west end shows

4kg of parcel vanishing into thin air never to be seen again

8 abusive emails

5 abusive phone calls

27 kgs of luggage

1 shirt out of a bin

14 shirts into a bin

6 pairs of shoes

18 h&m stores

1 tiffany and co purchase

5 new rings

3 new tattoos

94 calls to home (at least)

2 Thai massages

1 girl ready to hug her mum when she gets off the plane 💕

Cheers Europe you've been everything I hoped for 👌🏻

That's all folks

This is the end of my journey. Tomorrow I fly to London. Monday I get a massage and then leave for home. I will land on Wednesday morning to have sleep and some good old pamper and shopping sessions with my dear mumsie. It has been a very long and very quick three months all at once. Not everything has gone to plan. Some fucking bullshit has happened. Some life changing moments have occurred. I've fallen in love with Paris. I've dived from a helicopter in Switzerland. I've eaten my weight in gelato and gyros. I've cried over the Serbian and Bosnian war. I've been mistaken for a local in Hungary. I've seen shows on broadway. I've gotten a spontaneous tattoo in the country of my surnames sake in Ireland. I've danced the night away in Cardiff. I've frozen for that perfect shot in Iceland. I've missed home and the people in it.

A huge huge huge huge massive big ass thank you to my parents for supporting me through this. For listening to my tears on the phone and my bragging as well. Mum, for texting me in the middle of the night because I've just landed in another country. Dad, for calling me a bitch when I brag. Bro, for getting those Macklemore tickets for next year.

A biiiiiiiiiiiig humongous thank you to Benjamin and buddy for letting me fuck off for three months on a crazy adventure and for sending me lots of pictures of a sleepy puppy who is overdue for some cuddles. And for being there even when I go MIA because I'm distracted by all the natural wonders around me.

For anyone who has been reading this and stuck with me. Boss, teagsy, meggles, mums friends and cousins, Aunty pru. Knowing you guys are keeping on top of it makes me want to keep updating - even if sometimes very briefly. I am keen to share my stories and pictures even more with you upon my return.

Thank you to my travel agent Emily. I've been lucky enough not to need to call you and bother you (still got some travel to do so let's hope I don't fkn jinx myself). But thank you for putting in the hard yards. You're the real MVP here.

And finally, a big thanks to my topdeck fams over the last three months. To Ali, Florentine, John, Ronnie and Dan, for showing me around this continent and keeping me as sane as possible.

So this is the end of this chapter for now. Maybe I'll come back to some of these places one day. Maybe I'll start planning my next adventure soon. What I do know is right now I'm ready for some of mums home cooked fried rice, my bed, my buddy, my Benjamin and my fake ass nails 💅🏻👌🏻

Let it gooooooo

The last twenty four hours has been a whirlwind of Icelandic journey.

Last night we headed off on a hunt for the northern lights. And apparently not enough of you crossed your fingers and toes as I had asked for, as we only got a very slight glimpse for a very short time. Best way to describe it: a whispy geeen cloud. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure people have seen it much much stronger. But the shit you see in pictures is exactly that: pictures. Which means the shutter has been open for upwards of 10 seconds and is letting in as much light as possible. Sadly my phone not my eyes can do that. So grainy shitty pics it is!!

Today we went on the golden circle tour to see some of the natural beauty the country has to offer. Waterfalls, water eruptions (geysers) and views for dayyyyyyyyys. The snow was literally sparkling at a lovely -12 degrees 😰❄️. It was a phenomenal day and a lovely way to finish up the trip. Iceland is so fucking gorgeous and as much as it is so fucking cold I honestly don't know if it would be as beautiful if it weren't for all the snow - I might have to come back to find out.

We also got to see Icelandic horses !! Which are basically fat stumpy horses that look like a pony. They were super friendly and adorable.

When we got back from the golden circle tour there was a small group of us willing to go lights hunting again tonight. Should we ? Shouldn't we? FOMO got the best of us and we booked it.

Was it worth it the second time around? Well, the lady on the bus tour said we didn't see the lights but uh IM FUCKING SORRY LADY THERE WAS BRIGHT GREEN IN THE GOD DAMN SKY ARE YOU BLIND. IT WAS LIKE WICKED UP IN THERE. fucking dumb bitch. Once again, grainy pics on my behalf. But a couple of the girls I was with took AMAZING photos on cameras and GoPros. So I will definitely be getting copies of those and I promise to post them as soon as I get them!! Even if it's in a couple days time. These photos prove we ducking saw the lights and that the tour lady had her head up her ass. They weren't super bright to the naked eye but I swear on buddy's life they were fucking there. I even called mum and dad to rub it in as my feet froze in the snow and I stood with a grin like the Cheshire Cat as I gazed at the stars. Iceland you fucking smashed tonight. 👌🏻

People often stop me and say "Miranda Kerr is that you?" And I laugh and wink back before walking away*** ***by people I mean myself in the mirror

SHIT FUCK. I forgot to mention. There is a penis museum here. A museum dedicated to dicks. Whale dicks. Zebra dicks. Monkey dicks. And one human dick. Basically just all dicks. I remember ages ago my brother and dad and I seeing a documentary about this place and them looking for their human Weiner. So hey bro, here's some pictures for you. *didnt take picture of human peepee bc boff

I am Elsa ❄️

Well it's officially the last leg of my journey, I have made it to glorious Iceland !!! Yes it is cold. Yes it is freezing cold. But with enough layers (one thermal top, one long sleeve, one hoodie, one vest, one puffer jacket, one thermal leggings, one fleece leggings, one pair of jeans, two pairs of socks, one pair of boots, one pair of gloves, and a beanie) and it is easily manageable !! 😊

My first night I had some head pains so rather than venture out, I had an expensive as fuck meal at the hotel and went to bed for twelve hours of comfy as fuck rest and relaxation. That bed was glorious. 😍😍

Day one was nice and chilled. I slept the morning wandering around the city of Reykjavik and admiring the snow!! It was so cool to actually be in a place where it snows without being on the top of a mountain. It's such a clean clear white freshness and it so cool to watch fall - in case you can't tell, I've only been to the snow once before. Haha. I went by the harbour and saw the Sun Voyager sculpture, and I also went up the tower of the Lutheran church for some cool views. The organ in this church is MASSIVE with over 5000 pipes in it. It's weird walking in though because everyone inside is turned to face the entrance way, so you're kind of being watched, then upon entering you turn around and see the organ and die at how cool it is !

In the afternoon my bags and I braved the icey footpaths to go start my final miniature top deck tour. With the group we had a short walking tour, some dinner and a quick drink before bed. Because today was going to be a big one.

We woke up this morning and downed some yummy breakfast because it was finally, after sooooo many months of waiting, TIME FOR THE BLUE LAGOON!!!!! The. Let gorgeous and relaxing thermal pools ever. Like peninsula hot springs is nice and has multiple pools and is a bit warmer and clearer. But this was fucking sick. A thermal pool surrounded by rocks and snow and mountains in the distance. A face mask that has made my skin feel soooo good. And that milky blue water that is like nothing else but apparently has some phenomenal healing powers. I wonder if it can heal my bank account.....Iceland is fucking expensiiiiiiiiive. I will post lots of photos of the lagoon because it was stunning. Also because I had to risk a wet phone as they had sold out of phone cases. Also because so many selfies.

Tonight we go on the hunt for some more adventure. Keep your fingers and toes crossed for us !!

After a somewhat stressful and very sore morning, Jamie is producing the goods 😍😍

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