Call Me Branch @bitchmas-came-early - Tumblr Blog

if the red eyed demon possessed all my friends and family and the only way to save them was to murder them I would simply say no thank you

chicagocryptid

rip to sal fisher but I'm different

bitchmas-came-early

this has NO RIGHT being this funny

wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva

Oh, so the Catholic Church can commit theophagy every Sunday for two thousand years and that's fine, but as soon as I decide to try a little theophagy of my own everybody freaks out. I see how it is.

stormheart-warden-deactivated20

Wait hold on gotta look something up

stormheart-warden-deactivated20

Ok yeah this is funny

callmeblake

The Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP (for sale on ebay)

Packaged with the California 2019 Edition - released November 22nd, 2010

cupids-mind-palace

“𝙄 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚…”

(reblogs > likes)

brilliantlyhorrid

knitmeapony

This is still one of the best executed jokes I’ve ever seen

spaceyjules-deactivated20180305

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

spaceyjules-deactivated20180305

Isn’t it disgusting that 23 people just unfollowed me

clarknokent

Unfollow me too

gothhabiba

this goes double if you call paedophilia a disability. unfollow me twice

closet-keys

and if you call pedophilia an “orientation” or in any way compare it to being LGBP+ you can unfollow, delete your blog, and set yourself on fire.

peachypastel

I just lost 50 followers.. bye

katiemcgrxth

clearing out the trash

bway-grimes

GO ON AND S M A S H THAT UNFOLLOW BUTTON

moonedknights

BUHBYE U McNASTIES

bogleech

I’ve seen this circulating forever and genuinely thought “no way do I have any of them following me” until this week when it turned out I had all these fuckin “MAP” (pedophile) followers sad to find out I’m an “anti” (normal person) Please leave and also please get guinea worm.

skyscrapersanddandelions

hey, so now that there’s an influx of black roman art, here’s some tips for drawing black people, from a black person Tip 1: black lips tend to be about the same size, unlike most white lips where the top lip is thinner than the bottom lip. Here’s a comparison of the two

Tip 2: black lips also have this thing where the bottom lip is either lighter than the top lip, or pinker than the top lip. of course, there are exceptions to this. but that’s a good guide to follow. Tip 2.5: do not do this shit shown in ref below. it’s inaccurate and has racist connotations. don’t do it.

Tip 3. Hands! Black hands! The insides of our palms are lighter than the outsides. (Same with the bottoms our feet)

(ps, this is the one i’m most lenient on because sometimes even i forget to do this. i’m not as hard on this than the aforementioned lip things) Tip 3: hairstyles. this is the one i think y’all need help with the most. y’all are giving roman some wack ass cuts and i am disappointed in all of y’all. anyways, look up some black hairstyles and reference those. cause unlike a lot of y’all think, we do have variety in our hairstyles that aren’t either afros or 80′s box cuts. here’s some haircuts that i like

Not a tip, but personally, i think roman would fucking LOVE the hairstyles with the wild ass shave-line designs. like these:

they’re just so funky and i think he’d love them and just keep getting new patterns every time he goes to the barber shop. take note that this isn’t a complete and concrete tutorial on how to draw black people, and i can’t control people’s headcanons on what hairstyle roman or any of the other sides would chose. plus, there are plenty of more guides that you can reference from too, like this one, this one, and this one. but i made one specifically for fanders cause a lot of you are predominately white and have no idea how to draw black characters (not calling anyone out or trying to diss anyone, you probably just haven’t had enough practice yet and it’s not like you can look in the mirror or at your brother and try to reference from those things like i can), so i just decided to make a guide. don’t be afraid to make mistakes and try to listen to black people’s input, that’s how you can learn. have fun drawing black roman and making racists mad lmao.

crimethinc

Comrades in Minneapolis—this video from Chile shows how to extinguish tear gas canisters quickly, safely, and easily. To deal with tear gas canisters, take a water jug with a wide mouth, put a little baking soda, dish soap, and/or vegetable oil in the jug of water—3 tablespoons of each to 1 liter of water. Pick up the canister with protective gloves (it’s hot and can burn you!), drop it in the jug, and shake the jug while covering the top with your gloved hand just enough that the gas doesn’t get out. Don’t cover the top too tightly—you don’t want to make the jug explode. Don’t let the police or #COVID19 cut off your air supply. Fight back! #icantbreathe #GeorgeFloyd #Minneapolis

slufflepuff-deactivated20151128

people who aren’t at least mildly obsessed with something are hard to buy gifts for

randomfandomteacher

word the the wise: don’t hide your obsessions; all you get is soap/candles.

bitchmas-came-early

My obsession is candles please send me candles I beg

#especially sweet ones #i used to have a watermelon candle that i loved #also a chocolate and coffee one?#and it was amazing?#id huff that shit idc

88888888-8

What do your guys’ phone cases look like? Describe them and add your sign in the tags

bitchmas-came-early

Clear, with a pressed flower popsocket and a Polaroid of my fiancée. I’m an Aries!

itsfreerheelestate

every so often tiktok accidentally recaptures that golden era of short form comedy vine could capture

valtsv

tumblr is just talking to yourself but for an audience

reflauta

That’s called a soliloquy.

valtsv

found the theatre kid. get em boys.

cromchychipdip

A Handful of Cute Asks

1. What's your favorite song to fall asleep to?

2. Do you prefer hugs or kisses?

3. What color do you want to paint your room?

4. What's your favorite flower?

5. Do you like white or dark chocolate?

6. What's your favorite season? Why?

7. What's your favorite poem?

8. Do you like to bake? If so, what's your favorite thing to make?

9. What's your star sign?

10. Do you like to paint your nails?

11. Is there somebody on your mind right now?

12. What is your favorite pair of jeans?

13. Do you like to play an instrument? If so, which one?

14. How would you describe your perfect day?

15. Do you prefer baths or showers to relax?

16. Do you prefer sunlight or streetlights?

17. Fluffy clouds or cloudless sky?

18. What's your favorite song to sing along to?

19. Do you prefer dogs, cats, or another animal?

20. If you were to go to a café, what would you order?

bitchmas-came-early

Someone please, I’d love to do this

not-so-innocent-bi-sander

2 for creativitwins? like platonic I mean

Aw that’s actually really cuuute. Creativitwins, kiss on the forehead._ —

Remus and Roman were nothing alike. Yes they were both dramatic and over the top and also identical, and they went to the same college and shared a dorm room, but seriously. Nothing in common. Roman had a tendency to stay up too late, falling asleep on the couch with a script laying directly on his face. Remus would roll his eyes if he’d find him, seeing that his irresponsible brother hadn’t gone to bed and let himself do this again. He’d have to move the script to the table - making sure he didn’t lose his place, or his brother would freak out later, and put his glass and snack plate in the sink. Then Remus would grab the blanket off his brothers bed and put it over him, tucking him in and grumbling all the while. And maybe if he pressed a little kiss to his forehead like their mother used to when she tucked them as kids, its not like anyone would know. Remus was chaotic, he’d stay up late, leaving his notes and his weird books and his creepy doodles and his odd reference material all around him. Mugs with unidentified combinations of liquids and half eaten weird snacks on the table amongst. Roman had definitely more than once found him asleep with his face on his keyboard, him having conked out in the middle of his creative writing. Roman would grumble about his ‘stupid dumb brother and his stupid dumb mess and all the stupid dumb garbage around him’ while he cleaned up the mess, straightening his materials, cleaning up the food, and saving his document he’d been working on. He’d then drape a blanket over him and generally wad up a jacket to push under his head so he didn’t completely jack up his neck. And maybe, if he also pressed a little kiss to his forehead like their mother used to.. No one would ever know. So like they said, they were absolutely nothing alike. Not at all.