The Ace Discourse is Absolute Bull
We are 3 days into pride week and I have seen my dash flooded with lots of positive representation for the LGBT+ community, and it has been awesome. However, I’ve also seen a surge in people trying to discredit the legitimacy of other’s inclusion in the community. Especially asexuals.
The main argument of ace discourse is that we are “basically straight” because we do not experience homophobia or transphobia. While it may “sound” like a good argument, this is why this not only hurts those of us in the ace community but also everyone else in the LGBT+ community:
1. You’ve immediately claimed that every single person that isn’t gay or lesbian faces no hardships because of their orientation. This is an /insult/ to everyone who experiences attraction to people of other genders, to those who live years of their life believing they are broken and useless because they don’t want/ crave certain types of intimacy, and every person who has had someone in their life try to “fix” them.
2. You’ve just excluded every single closeted person, no matter their orientation.
3. The entirety of the multisexual community has just been shamed as well. And you’re even using the same excuses for kicking us out as you did for them a few years back.
4. This is a fantastic way to reinforce heteronormativity. You’re argument is that anyone that doesn’t experience attraction to the same sex is straight. Which erases not only the asexuality spectrum, but the gender spectrum and the sexuality spectrum as well.
5. This whole thing just turns into a way to hate on others who you don’t understand and aren’t willing to listen to. You are trying to turn the hatred and oppression you face and forcing it onto others to bear. There’s a word for that, and it’s /bullying/. The same bullying you face all the time for your orientation. The bullying that made you want to create and join this community in the first place.
6. You say that we should just build our own community and pull away from the LGBT+ community. Except we can’t. Every single “safe ace space” I’ve ever been apart of has been bombarded by this hatred and negativity. You can’t hate us and put us in a corner and then fill that corner with spiders and expect us to feel loved and appreciated and safe.
7. By saying that “only aces with a non-heterosexual romantic orientation are valid”, you’ve just said that the only thing that matters is the attraction we /do/ feel. That it’s not enough that we feel broken and hated for not feeling sexual attraction. That it’s not enough that so many aces have had people they know and trust try to “fix” them. That it isn’t enough that most of us in a romantic relationship live in fear of our loved ones leaving us because we can’t satisfy them. Nope. You’ve basically said that you’re the only ones that matter. Only your experiences are valid. That we’re making it up for attention. That it’s wrong and makes us broken.
So yes. I do think that the ace discourse is wrong. I do believe that aces belong in the LGBT+ community. All of them. And honestly, the fact that this has gone on so long makes me question how loving and accepting your community is. I hope you prove me wrong.
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