If there’s anything that I’ve learned in the past 3 and a half years, it’s that you’ll never see how much you’ve grown by always trying to look forward (gotta look back~ *cheesy af*). But forreal, that’s 101% true.
One of my really good friends from high school talked to me on the phone one day during my Junior year, for some random reason that I don’t recall, and we got to the topic concerning the Christian walk and he said these words: “but you know what they say, ‘you never know how much you’ve grown until you look back.’” The words he said engraved themselves somewhere in my cognitive system and now I can never look at growth, in any sense of the word, the same way.
Yes, it will hurt; looking back will hurt because 1) you may be disappointed in what you see and 2) you may relive past hurts. For point 1, whether it’s how much growth you’ve quantified with your own judgement or the type of growth you see, just know that growth is growth and that is something someone should never be disappointed about. For point 2, growth is impossible without making mistakes, stumbling in order to get the footing right, making a couple batches until it’s perfect, yatta yatta yatta. It is going to hurt looking back at some of the rough patches in life, but ya know what, the fact that you still grew out of that is a sign of God’s redemptive power in you (and that’s something to be wow about). There’s no doubt you’d be surprised with who you’ve become by simply looking back.
Second most important thing I’ve learned: “if you find one true friend, then you’re lucky.” As humans, as sinners, our tendency is to run and hide. We like to fool people with illustrious images of who we think we are. Showing off our generosity, our feigned humility, kindness, patience, etc. when really at the end of the day, we’re just like everyone else who falls short of the glory of God. We don’t like to give, we don’t like to be patient, and we revel in knowing that we’re better that somebody else at something. [and a big etc. about human nature]
All this to show that we need God to help us out with our character. Equally important, we need some Holy frkn Spirit to walk with us, to help us with life because by all means we make everything worse without Him. And right under that bar of importance: friends.
Friends who don’t run and hide when they see who you really are as a sinner. Friends who acknowledge their wickedness, yet persevere to encourage you, regardless of merit. Friends who do Proverbs 27:5-6. Friends who know they can never be a friend to you on their own strength. I’m thankful for the handful of true friends God has shoved into my life. F4, Jkim, eunjinz, BP, aIM, Elizabeth, soob. Thank you and I love you.
And, of course, the third most important thing I’ve learned is that student loan debt greatly exceeds credit card debt, on average, so I best be paying off my loans asap (thanks but no thanks UGBA 196).
In any case, first day of work tomorrow so I gotta sleep early to get a seat on the BART tmrw. But chances are muy slim.
Also, hello tumblr, again; you’re funny, as always.