Once upon a time, there was a lonely god named Ryomen Sukuna who lived on the moon. But despite his strength and power, he is plagued by an unsatiable hunger.
One night, the lonely god came down to earth disguised as a beggar. There, he came across three animals â a Fox, a Monkey, and a Rabbit.
âCan I have some food?â Sukuna asks, hoping they had something to satiate his hunger.
 The Fox, with her wits and swiftness, offered the lonely god some fish from the stream.
The Monkey, with his agility and ability to climb, gave the lonely god some fruits from a tree.
 The Rabbit, unlike the Fox and the Monkey, asked the lonely god to build a fire.
 Although confused, the Sukuna started a fire. When the fire was built, the Rabbit threw himself into the fire, offering himself to the lonely god.
 Surprised, Sukuna pulls the Rabbit out of the fire and asked the Rabbit what he was doing.
 "I have nothing else to offer you but myself," the Rabbit says, as he is small and weak, and could only offer the lonely god grass.
 The lonely god had eaten countless of animals and even humans before, but for once, he was repulsed by the idea of consuming the little Rabbit before him.
 And despite not eating anything, Sukuna feels full for the first time. Full of an emotion he cannot describe.
 Intrigued, the lonely god brought the Rabbit back to live with him on the Moon.
Jin Guangyao looks at Wei Wuxianâs grinning face, unsure if he could trust him.
 âGive it a try,â Wei Wuxian gives a carefree laugh. âIt might end up working. If not, things will just remain the same.â
 Jin Guangyao still did not trust Wei Wuxian. There is just something about the other that made Jin Guangyao feel uneasy. Honestly, he does not understand how Wei Wuxian is Lan Wangjiâs best friend. Sighing, Jin Guangyao decides to just listen to Wei Wuxianâs advice. Itâs not like he has a lot of options after all.
 Jin Guangyao has a problem. A problem that has lasted quite a while now. And it has to do with his sex life with his boyfriend, Lan Wangji.
 Lan Wangji is Jin Guangyaoâs best friend Lan Xichenâs little brother. At first, Jin Guangyao felt bad about dating his friendâs little brother. But luckily, Lan Xichen gave them his blessings. Lan Wangji is a good person and a good boyfriend. But the problem is that he is too good. Lan Wangji knew that Jin Guangyao got angry whenever people mentioned that his mother was a prostitute. Hence, Lan Wangji always assumed that Jin Guangyao hated everything to do with it. But really, Jin Guangyao just hated other peopleâs attitude towards his motherâs work. She did what she had to do to survive. She didnât steal or rob but instead use what she could to earn a living, so she did not deserve the disrespect. But it seemed rather weird and random for Jin Guangyao to explain that to Lan Wangji.
 Hence, Lan Wangji continued to misunderstand. This led to their bedroom activities being very bland and vanilla. Lan Wangji was always gentle, sweet and loving. But having vanilla sex in the same position every single time with no foreplay or anything else to spice it up makes the sex very⊠Boring. And because Lan Wangji never makes a single sound, Jin Guangyao felt too embarrassed to ever call out in bed. Things are even worse because they have sex every night due to Lan Wangjiâs high libido. But yet, they would go straight to the point and do it only once because Lan Wangji was worried about Jin Guangyaoâs body. While Jin Guangyao is touched and happy about Lan Wangjiâs consideration, heâs getting very bored and tired of their bland sex life.
 As it was unethical to ask his best friend for sex advice regarding said personâs own brother, Jin Guangyao had first chosen to ask the only other person he trusted, Xue Yang. After being tricked into treating Xue Yang to dessert, the other had given the most useless advice.
 âJust tell him that youâre horny and his skills suck.â
 Jin Guangyao considered smacking Xue Yangâs head down into the dessert bowl but eventually decided against it. He could not expect the ever single Xue Yang to give him proper sex advice.
 And so, the only other person Jin Guangyao could think of was Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian was Lan Wangjiâs best friend, so he would probably have a good understanding of Lan Wangjiâs personality. Besides, Wei Wuxian was popular with the girls, so Jin Guangyao assumed he would have a lot of experience.
 But now, hearing, Wei Wuxianâs advice, Jin Guangyao is a little hesitant. There are some parts that seemed like they would work, but coming from Wei Wuxianâs mouth made the advice seem suspicious.
 âIf youâre not going to trust me, then why ask me in the first place? Just trust me this once. Itâll definitely work.â Wei Wuxian winks cheekily at Jin Guangyao. âIâll even keep Lan Wangji out of the house so you can get ready and let you know when he comes back.â
 In the end, Jin Guangyao decides to just give Wei Wuxianâs advice a chance.
 Wei Wuxian had texted him that Lan Wangji was now returning from their little Christmas party, and Jin Guangyao waits anxiously in bed. He takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself. After all the preparation, Jin Guangyao felt more and more that Wei Wuxian cannot be trusted. This is way too much for someone as stoic and serious as Lan Wangji, Jin Guangyao thinks to himself.
 As Jin Guangyaoâs mind races, a sudden âBam!â comes from the front door. Lan Wangji is home. Jin Guangyao quickly struggles to make a seductive pose on the bed.
 When Lan Wangji enters the bed room, he sees a flushed Jin Guangyao with rabbit ears and a rabbit tail. Lan Wangji immediately feels blood rushing to his groin.
 âYaoyaoâŠâ Lan Wangji calls out with his voice pressed low.
 âWangjiâŠâ Jin Guangyao replies shyly, tone contrasting sharply with how daring his clothes (or lack thereof) are.
 Lan Wangji stalks forward towards the bed, towering over Jin Guangyao. Their eyes meet before Jin Guangyao quickly looks away, embarrassed. With a bit of force, Lan Wangji turns Jin Guangyaoâs head to face him before smashing their lips together.
 âAh!â Jin Guangyao moaned in pain. Lan Wangji continues on, tongue forcing its way through Jin Guangyaoâs teeth as he explored Jin Guangyaoâs mouth. Jin Guangyao tries to return the kiss but quickly loses pace of his breath. He can only weakly whimper as Lan Wangji bite and suck at his lips, arms wrapped tight around the other. When Lan Wangjiâs lips leave Jin Guangyaoâs lips to venture down to the latterâs neck, Jin Guangyao finally tasted the alcohol in Lan Wangjiâs mouth.
 âYou drank?â
 âA little,â Lan Wangji replies against Jin Guangyaoâs neck. Licking and sucking at Jin Guangyaoâs neck, Lan Wangji leaves red hickeys for the very first time. Lan Wangjiâs sudden fierceness makes Jin Guangyao feel at a loss. Dazed, he could only lie there in pleasure as Lan Wangji kissed his body. When Lan Wangji is done leaving red marks throughout Jin Guangyaoâs body, he sits up to take a long hard look at the other.
 Jin Guangyao immediately wakes from his daze, becoming rather self-conscious.
 âThis can stay,â Lan Wangji says, patting the fake ears on Jin Guangyaoâs head. Then, touching the rabbit tail butt plug, Lan Wangjiâs eyes narrowed. âBut this has to go. This place is mine.â
 As if to clear the evidence of something else rather than himself being in Jin Guangyao, Lan Wangji starts licking at Jin Guangyaoâs hole. Jin Guangyao is on his knees, ass pushed against Lan Wangjiâs face while his own face is buried in the pillows in an attempt to muffle his voice.
 Lan Wangji licks a circle around Jin Guangyaoâs hole, tongue exploring the area but not quite going in.
 âEn⊠InsideâŠâ Jin Guangyao cannot help but to moan.
 âYaoyao has been bad today,â Lan Wangji responds, hand coming down to smack Jin Guangyaoâs ass.
 âAh!â Jin Guangyao calls out, the sound making Lan Wangji even more excited.
 âTell me. Who does this belong to?â Lan Wangji asks, a dry finger pressing down onto Jin Guangyaoâs hole.
 âAh⊠Y- Yours!â
 âAnd who am I?â Lan Wangji asks, kissing Jin Guangyaoâs ass in encouragement.
 âWangji⊠Ah!â
 âWrong,â Lan Wangji says, taking a bite of Jin Guangyaoâs juicy round butt cheek.
 âLao⊠Lao Gong! EnâŠâ Jin Guangyao calls out in pleasure, arms spreading out helplessly on the bed.
 As a reward, Lan Wangji starts to lick Jin Guangyaoâs hole, tongue teasing in and out to mimic sex.
 âDeeper⊠PleaseâŠâ Jin Guangyao begs, pushing back against Lan Wangji.
 Obediently, Lan Wangjiâs tongue delves deeper, drawing out a long moan from Jin Guangyao. In Jin Guangyaoâs head currently filled with pleasure, a random thought appears. For someone has stoic as Lan Wangji, he seems to have a serious fixation on his hole.
 Along with his tongue, Lan Wangji has started to slip in a finger as well, tongue and finger going in and out alternatively so thereâs always something stretching Jin Guangyaoâs hole. Occasionally, Lan Wangji will hit Jin Guangyaoâs prostate, making the latterâs desire increase even more from the teasing. Â
 âEnough alreadyâŠâ Jin Guangyao moans. He knows he had only recently complained about the lack of foreplay, but this foreplay is going on for too long. Jin Guangyao needs something bigger, thicker and longer, to fill his thirsty and needy hole. But no matter how much Jin Guangyao begs for Lan Wangji to move on, the other is still busy sucking and licking his hole.
 Feeling that heâs going to go crazy from the edging and teasing, Jin Guangyao stops caring about his image.
 âLao Gong⊠Please fuck me. I need you inside me⊠Please stop licking and fuck me! I want to cum⊠Let me cum⊠I can only cum if you fuck me⊠Lao Gong~â
 With is own dick hard as a rock, Lan Wangji finally decides it is time. Pulling down the zippers, Lan Wangji takes his cock out without removing his pants and pushes right in without warning.
 âAh~â Jin Guangyao calls out as he is immediately filled.
 âHold on tight,â Lan Wangji warns. And before Jin Guangyao can react, Lan Wangji has his hands tight on Jin Guangyaoâs waist and is fucking into Jin Guangyao hard and fast. Jin Guangyao feels like heâs going to break as he clutches tightly onto the headboard, voice screaming out freely in pleasure.
 âEn~ Slower⊠Ah! Lao Gong⊠Slow down!â Jin Guangyao shouts, knees and arms weak as he falls flat onto the bed. But Lan Wangji does not slow, body pressing Jin Guangyaoâs body down onto the bed. Lan Wangjiâs hands goes to cover the back of Jin Guangyaoâs hands, mouth pressing kisses onto the back of Jin Guangyaoâs neck. In this position, whenever Lan Wangji thrusts into Jin Guangyao, the latterâs dick will rub against the bedsheets.
 âIâm gonna cum!â Jin Guangyao calls out as he comes into the bedsheets, ass clenching against Lan Wangjiâs dick. Lan Wangji continues fucking into Jin Guangyao, always hitting his prostate. Jin Guangyao feels his body shaking from the over-stimulation, whining and whimpering helplessly.
 Feeling Jin Guangyaoâs body trembling against his own, Lan Wangji is conflicted. He wants to continue teasing this little sexy imp, yet wants to comfort and treat his beautiful lover gently. Torn between these two opposite actions, Lan Wangji cannot help but to continue fucking into Jin Guangyao hard while whispering about how much he loves him.
 âI love you⊠Yaoyao⊠I love you so much! Ah⊠You are so good and so beautiful and so perfect⊠Yaoyao⊠I love youâŠâ Lan Wangjiâs words make Jin Guangyao feel unbelievably content and happy, trembling less badly now.
 When Lan Wangji finally comes, he pushes into Jin Guangyao once or twice before pulling out and moving to hold Jin Guangyao in his arms.
 Coming down from his high, Jin Guangyao begins to feel embarrassed, burying his head in Lan Wangjiâs chest. This is when he realises that Lan Wangji is still almost completely clothed while he himself is completely naked except for those rabbit ears on his head. Flustered, Jin Guangyao hits Lan Wangjiâs chest with his head, ears red. Lan Wangji smiles, removing the rabbit ears so that he could place a kiss on the crown of Jin Guangyaoâs head.
 âRabbits donât suit you. You can get fox ears and a fox tail next time.â Lan Wangji suggests.
 ââŠ!!!â I thought you didnât like other things apart from you in me?? Are you just looking for an excuse to rim me??
 --
Extra
At the âChristmas partyâ:
Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji, âJin Guangyao says your skills suck. Itâs like having sex with a wood block. In fact, youâre worse than a dildo. At least a dildo has skills.â
 Lan Wangji, â!!!!!!!!!â
 Wei Wuxian, â Call me big brother and Iâll give help you.â
 Lan Wangji, through his teeth, âGeâŠâ
------------
Notes
Lao Gong: husband
Ge: Older brother
Kept them in pinyin cause the English seems awkward...
Also in Chinese:Â https://archiveofourown.org/works/21913702
1
In Jin Guangyaoâs life, the most important thing is his mother. His mother did her best to raise him and love him, and Jin Guangyao feels that he has to repay his mother by meeting her expectations. If she wanted him to return to the Jin Sect and be accepted by Jin Guangshan, then Jin Guangyao will do so. However, that isnât easy. After getting kicked off those long flight of stairs, Jin Guangyao had schemed his way into the Jin Sect. But no matter what he does or how much he accomplishes, Jin Guangshan only sees him as a prostituteâs son, less than a servant. And so, to raise his status and get closer to meeting his motherâs expectations, Jin Guangyao decides to marry Qin Su. Jin Guangyao does not love Qin Su in the way a husband loves his wife, but he does care for her like a little sister, and promises to treat her well. But the marriage would not be agreed to easily. In a bid to secure the wedding, Jin Guangyao and Qin Su decide to consummate the marriage first. That way, it would be almost impossible to deny the marriage.
 And so, Jin Guangyao and Qin Su find themselves staring at each other awkwardly, not knowing what to do or how to continue. Jin Guangyao knows he should probably start with a kiss, but the simple thought of it repulsed him. Closing his eyes, Jin Guangyao decides to just clench his fist and go on with his mission when suddenly, he could not move. Jin Guangyao feels himself being embraced by a larger body who then carries him away.
 --
 Lan Wangji does not know how or when he fell in love with Jin Guangyao. When he first saw Jin Guangyao, Lan Wangji had been mesmerised by the otherâs beauty and gentleness. The man had a small frame, and although he looked worn out and tired, he was so beautiful and fragile that Lan Wangji did not know how to react. But Lan Wangji knew that he wanted to protect the small man. As his brother Lan Xichen got closer to Jin Guangyao, Lan Wangji will often hear stories about that man, the work he has done and the great things he had accomplished. These stories made Lan Wangji curious. How could this delicate man do such great things? And so, Lan Wangji would often slip out to sneak a peak at Jin Guangyao at night. It was probably wrong, but Lan Wangji watched entranced as Jin Guangyao bathed and slept every night.
 On that fateful night, when Lan Wangji had sneaked in to stalk Jin Guangyao, he saw Jin Guangyao and Qin Su about to kiss. This made anger rush through his head and in the next moment, Lan Wangji had placed spells on Jin Guangyao and Qin Su. As Qin Su fell unconscious, Jin Guangyao was unable to move or talk. Lan Wangji pulled Jin Guangyao into his arms, carrying him away. Once they were in a secluded area, Lan Wangji began kissing and biting at Jin Guangyaoâs lips, hands slipping into his robes and touching the soft skin beneath.
 Jin Guangyao was immediately seized by terror. He couldnât move, he couldnât scream. All he could do was to lie there and feel himself get assaulted. Jin Guangyao hated this feeling of weakness, of being unable to do anything. As if he could hear Jin Guangyaoâs thoughts, Lan Wangji snapped out of his trance, hands coming out of Jin Guangyaoâs clothes to gently pat his back. Kissing the top of Jin Guangyaoâs head, Lan Wangji began to repeatedly whisper, âIâm sorry⊠I love you⊠Donât be afraidâŠâ
 After about ten minutes, Jin Guangyao slowly calmed down enough to feel something other than fear. For some reason, he began to feel safe and warm instead. This manâs embrace was comforting, like a safe harbour. Jin Guangyao hears the words the other man whispers and for the first time since his mother died, Jin Guangyao felt loved. This made Jin Guangyaoâs eyes fill with tears. Seeing these tears, the other man was obviously taken aback, body stiffening. Slowly, the man leaned in to kiss away the tears. Jin Guangyao felt his heart beat fast as he stared at the masked face, wondering who this man was. Not long later, Jin Guangyao fell asleep in the safety of Lan Wangjiâs embrace.
 Lan Wangji watched as Jin Guangyao falls asleep in his arms. Lying down on the grass, Lan Wangji gently moved Jin Guangyao such that the latter is nestled comfortably on him. Lan Wangji stayed awake the entire night, ensuring Jin Guangyao was comfortable and sending spiritual energy from time to time to  keep him warm. And when Jin Guangyao woke up in the morning, Lan Wangji kissed his forehead.
 âI love you⊠So please donât marry Qin SuâŠâ After murmuring these words, Lan Wangji took off before Jin Guangyao could respond. Jin Guangyao gently touched his forehead where he was kissed, his cheeks warming in embarrassment as a smile tugs at his lips. It took awhile before Jin Guangyao remembers Qin Su. Quickly rushing back to the room where Qin Su is in, Jin Guangyao sees as she starts to wake up. With no time to make up a better excuse, Jin Guangyao explains that Qin Su had fainted from the nervousness so they did not do anything. Embarrassed, Qin Suâs face had flushed pink as she hurried back home.
 But no matter how fast Qin Su hurried, she was caught by her mother when she returned home. As any caring mother would, Qin Su was asked where she had been. Being unable to lie to her mother, Qin Su told her the truth. The other was aghast when she heard what Qin Su said, finally making the decision to tell Jin Guangyao about his brother-sister relationship with Qin Su that day. And so, before Jin Guangyao could be further conflicted between marrying Qin Su to accomplish his motherâs wishes or not marrying Qin Su because of the mysterious masked man, Jin Guangyao is told of his relationship with Qin Su. Jin Guangyao is immensely relieved but he also felt resentment. If the masked man hadnât appeared the previous night, he would have made a huge mistake. But Jin Guangyao knew that he really couldnât hold it against Qin Suâs mother for telling him so late. It was a terrible experience for the woman, and she would not have burdened her daughter with such an ugly truth. At the end of the day, it was all Jin Guangshanâs fault for being such a jerk and waste of life.
 ------------------------Â
2
 After that night, Jin Guangyao will often find the masked man in his bed every night. For the first few nights, Jin Guangyao was unsure and afraid to do or say anything, lying quietly in the manâs arms before falling asleep. In the past, Jin Guangyao would often have insomnia or nightmares. But since he started snuggling with the masked man to sleep, Jin Guangyao was able to sleep more peacefully. Then, Jin Guangyao grew more curious and courageous, asking the man questions but the only thing the man ever said was âItâs late. Time to sleep.â
 Jin Guangyao then grew tired of asking questions, instead taking the opportunity to rant and complain about things like he would to his mother when she was alive. At first, Jin Guangyao did not think that the masked man was listening as his breath always stayed the same as if he was sleeping. But Jin Guangyao soon found out that the masked man was indeed listening to his every word. When Jin Guangyao had told the masked man that he like peonies, the man had brought a beautiful jade flower vase.
 âItâs white and beautiful like you,â the man had said as he placed the flower vase by the table. And every night, the masked man would bring fresh peonies to fill the flower vase. This made Jin Guangyao feel touched. It was the first time someone had ever given him what he wanted. That night, Jin Guangyao had happily kissed the corner of the masked manâs lips.
 In addition, when Jin Guangyao complained about someone who had bullied him or talked bad about his mother, he would find that the person had been beaten. Jin Guangyaoâs heart fluttered and he thinks heâs falling for this mysterious masked man. With this man, Jin Guangyao felt love, safety and happiness, something he had not felt in a long time. But yet, he did not know anything about the man. As much as he felt loved, Jin Guangyao could not help but also feel disappointed. He did not want to be anyoneâs secret lover. But Jin Guangyao also knew that he could not let the world know of his ârelationshipâ with a man as this would jeopardise his mission to be accepted by the cultivation world and by Jin Guangshan. And perhaps, this man had his own reasons to keep his identity a secret. And so, Jin Guangyao stopped trying to guess the manâs identity. He will leave it all for time to tell.
 -
 Lan Wangji is annoyed. Ever since he appeared in front of Jin Guangyao, the latter had started going to bed earlier so that they could spend more time together. But late into this night, Jin Guangyao is still busy talking with his brother Lan Xichen. Lan Wangji knew that Lan Xichen would often visit Jin Guangyao and they would talk late into the night. However, this does not mean that it did not make Lan Wangji feel jealous. Begrudgingly, Lan Wangji can only lie restlessly on Jin Guangyaoâs bed as the other talked with Lan Xichen outside.
 Usually, Lan Xichen would rest in Jin Guangyaoâs quarters. But surprisingly, when Lan Xichen suggested going to rest that night, he is sent to the guest room instead. And when Jin Guangyao finally returns to his sleeping quarters, Lan Wangji pushes him into the bed, kissing him furiously.
 When Lan Wangji finally releases Jin Guangyaoâs lips so that they can catch a breath, Jin Guangyao cannot help but chuckle and ask, âJealous?â
 Lan Wangjiâs response is to attack Jin Guangyaoâs lips again, tongue slipping in and exploring that warm wet mouth. Jin Guangyao returns the kiss, their tongues wrapping around each other. Ever since that first night, they had not kissed so fiercely again. Instead, they would give each other an innocent peck before cuddling up to sleep. And so, after holding it in for a long time, Lan Wangji is unable to hold back as he kissed Jin Guangyao. Jin Guangyao clutches tightly onto the other manâs robes, responding with similar enthusiasm. As two men in their prime who have interest in each other and are sleeping on the same bed, they would often have awkward situations especially in the morning. But they have never crossed that line, not have anything to push them across. But that did not mean that neither or them wanted to cross that line. And so, when Lan Wangji starts acting out in jealousy, Jin Guangyao helps to lead them along.
 Pressing Jin Guangyao below his body, Lan Wangji trails kisses down Jin Guangyaoâs neck, careful not to leave any obvious markings as his hands busy with removing Jin Guangyaoâs robes.
 âIn the past, do you always rest with that guy? Donât be so close with him.â Lan Wangji growls below his breath, biting Jin Guangyaoâs nipples in punishment.
 âAhâŠâ Jin Guangyao moans, chest lifting in response, pushing that nipple further into Lan Wangjiâs mouth. âWhy not? Heâs my Er Ge⊠EnâŠâ
 Hearing this, Lan Wangjiâs eyes narrow, hand punishingly tweaking Jin Guangyaoâs other nipple.
 âAiya. Donât be angry. Iâm only teasing you.â Jin Guangyao whines, arms wrapping around Lan Wangjiâs head to pull the other closer.
 Lan Wangji gives a comforting peck on Jin Guangyaoâs nipple in response, head going lower as he kisses the smooth expanse of Jin Guangyaoâs stomach. When Lan Wangji reaches Jin Guangyaoâs crotch, he completely ignores his cock, sucking at the inside of Jin Guangyaoâs thighs and leaving red marks. Jin Guangyaoâs legs naturally rest on Lan Wangjiâs shoulders, giving Lan Wangji better access. As his cock felt left out, Jin Guangyaoâs hands moved to wrap around it but he is quickly stopped by Lan Wangji who holds down both of Jin Guangyaoâs hands with just one hand.
 âEn⊠I wantâŠâ Jin Guangyao moans wantonly. Hips moving in attempt to get Lan Wangji to pay attention to his leaking cock.
 But instead of his cock, Lan Wangji turns his attention to another place. Jin Guangyaoâs hole. In order to have a better look at that hole, Lan Wangji lets go of Jin Guangyaoâs hands, instead lifting Jin Guangyaoâs legs. Jin Guangyaoâs reaction is immediate, hands going down to block Lan Wangjiâs view as he tries to close his legs.
 âWhatâs wrong?â Lan Wangji asks, looking up at Jin Guangyao whose face is red in embarrassment.
 Upon meeting Lan Wangjiâs eyes, Jin Guangyaoâs hands immediately go up to cover his own face. âNothing!â
 Lan Wangji takes a long hard look at Jin Guangyao before coming to a conclusion. âShy?â
 âShut up!â Jin Guangyao shouts, flustered. This was the first time Lan Wangji ever heard Jin Guangyao raise his voice. Lan Wangji is immediately overcome with guilt. Letting go of Jin Guangyaoâs legs, Lan Wangji moves up to wrap his arms around Jin Guangyao.
 âIâm sorry⊠I was out of bounds.â Lan Wangji apologises, kissing the back of Jin Guangyaoâs hands that were still covering his face.
 Jin Guangyao feels Lan Wangjiâs erection soften against his body and he feels like he has over-reacted. Jin Guangyao was just extremely flustered and embarrassed. He knew that if they ever had sexual relations, he would be receiving. And given that he lived in a brothel, Jin Guangyao knows that he would be receiving from the ass. But nonetheless, he was not prepared. He knew that he wanted to do more with this mysterious masked man. But he is still hesitant to go all the way because he did not even know the manâs name.
 âNo⊠It was me who over-reacted.â Jin Guangyao responds, burying his head into the other manâs chest.
 âLetâs just sleep.â Lan Wangji replies softly.
 Heâs so good, Jin Guangyao thinks to himself. He isnât ready yet, but maybe next time.
  ------------------
3
 A few days passed since then, and the Jin Sect has organised an hunting competition at the Phoenix Mountain. Lan Wangji is excited to be able to look at Jin Guangyao in the day. As much as he enjoyed looking at Jin Guangyaoâs sleeping face, the lighting at night is not good enough for him to appreciate Jin Guangyaoâs good looks.
 Arriving at the Phoenix Mountain, Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen are greeted by Jin Guangyao. Naturally, Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao fell into a conversation and Lan Wangji instantly felt left out. But at least with Jin Guangyaoâs attention away, Lan Wangji could take the opportunity to look at Jin Guangyao. Lan Wangjiâs intense stares are not easy to ignore though, Jin Guangyao uncertainly turning to look at Lan Wangji.
 âWhatâs wrong?â Jin Guangyao asks.
 Lan Wangji immediately averts his eyes, embarrassed.
 âWangji must be bored following behind us. I think I saw Wei Gongzi just now. Why donât you go look for him instead?â Lan Xichen says after seeing Lan Wangjiâs discomfort.
 Lan Wangji wants to tell them that he did not care about Wei Wuxian and that he wanted to follow them (or Jin Guangyao specifically). But before he could say anything, Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao already assumed he would leave and have turned to talk amongst themselves again. And so, Lan Wangji had no choice but to resume being a stalker, quietly following them from a distance.
 -
 Lan Wangji feels his blood pressure rising. Even after the competition begins, Lan Xichen never left Jin Guangyaoâs side. Lan Wangji followed them from afar, watching as his brother touched his loverâs back. The two also often tilted their heads close as they talked, almost as if they could kiss any moment. When they finally flew on their swords, Lan Wangji could no longer discretely follow them, instead choosing to vent his anger out on a poor innocent tree.
 At this moment, Wei Wuxian appears. âAiya⊠Lan Zhan! What are you doing?â
 Flustered at having been caught, Lan Wangji growls, âGo away!â
 But Wei Wuxian would not be Wei Wuxian if he listened. Hence, when Jin Guangyao sees Lan Wangji again since the latter âleftâ, he was with Wei Wuxian.
 -
 Since that night where they abruptly stopped during foreplay, Jin Guangyao and Lan Wangji did not know how to act. Both agreed without words to pretend nothing happened, behaving in the same way they did every night. Hence, when night falls that day, Jin Guangyao is resting against Lan Wangji, talking about the dayâs events.
 âTired?â Lan Wangji asks, gently running his fingers through Jin Guangyaoâs hair.
 âOf course! I had to keep running around expanding the hunting area without rest! I thought my legs were going to break from all that work!â Jin Guangyao complains, fist kneading his own thighs.
 âLet me help,â Lan Wangji says, sitting up and placing Jin Guangyaoâs thighs on his lap and massaging expertly.
 Jin Guangyao smiles at Lan Wangjiâs actions, feeling the dayâs exhaustion leaving his body. âAiya. Letâs not talk about those frustrating things. Do you know Hanguang Jun, Lan Wangji?â
 ââŠâ
 âOf course you would. Who doesnât know of the twin jades of Lan Sect?â Jin Guangyao continues excitedly. âApparently he likes Wei Gongzi, Wei Wuxian!â
 ââŠ!!!â Lan Wangji instantly stops his ministrations on Jin Guangyaoâs legs.
 âDonât stop.â
 âWhy do you think that?â Lan Wangji asks, hands going back to work.
 âMy Er Ge told me. And I also saw them together. I think they were together nearly the whole time.â Jin Guangyao explains.
 âDidnât I say not to get so close with him?â Lan Wangji says, pinching Jin Guangyaoâs thighs.
 âAi! Donât be so harsh. My Er Ge is only my brother. I wonât have any romantic interest in him.â Jin Guangyao replies, hand coming down to rub at the area Lan Wangji pinched.
 Lan Wangji laces their fingers together and brings their hands up to kiss the back of Jin Guangyaoâs hand. âReally?â
 âOf course! While Er Ge is kind and gentle, he is kind and gentle to everyone. To be with this kind of person, you have to have a really big heart and be really understanding. Itâs kind of hard to imagine Er Ge in love though. In fact, it is hard to imagine either of the twin jades of Lan Sect in love. They are two ends of a spectrum. Er Ge is warm to everyone while Wangji is cold to everyone. Neither of the people they like will feel that they are special and realise their feelings, probably.â
 âWho would be better?â Lan Wangji cannot help but compare himself to his brother.
 âEmm⊠Er Ge. At least you can feel care and love. But for Wangji⊠I see how coldly he seems to treat Wei Gongzi even though he likes him⊠I donât think anyone can tell his feelings other than his brother. Speaking of Lan Wangji, I think he hates me. A lot.â
 Lan Wangji : ââŠ?!?!â
 âEvery time we meet, he would glare at me like I owed him money. He wouldnât even meet my eyes and has almost never said a word to me. Sigh⊠But hey. Donât go beat him up, okay? Heâs my Er Geâs little brother after all.â
 â⊠Your Er Ge again.â
 âNo need to be jealous. Youâre the best!â Jin Guangyao smiles, kissing the corner of Lan Wangjiâs lips.
 Thatâs not what you said before⊠Lan Wangji thinks to himself.
So I'm trying to write a mdzs rarepair fic in Chinese cause it's so rare it doesn't exist in the English speaking fan base but man is Chinese so difficult. Had to write it in English and then translate it if not I cannot even. Had to go search for my electronic Chinese dictionary I have not touched in like 7 yrs.
My good old friend I can't believe I still rmb how to use u.
Dk if I shld post it in English though since its first written in English so it already exists. But I honestly feel like I might get killed for this rarepair. Okay that's definitely over exaggerating but it's so... IDK I don't think I would have even thought to ship it but I chanced upon it on lofter...
I've been on a novel drought and wondering if I should reread tgcf/hob but... The angst man. I remember I was walking home from school and reading when xl got stabbed the first time round and I was crying terribly... I joke about those scenes but I'm sure I will seriously cry if I reread...
I made xielian first and it was all good and well. Then when I made huacheng, I stabbed my finger twice and there was blood. I'm convinced huacheng is taking revenge for his dianxia...
Im just studying for my midterms when suddenly, a thought came to me. What abt jin guangyao Ă meng yao selfcest. Kinda like äžćȘćżæ°ć棰çæ» (which is my fav selfcest novel). Like aft jgy dies he returns to the past and meets his young self and decides to protect and give all the love and care he did not receive to little meng yao???
(Send help. Studying drosophila development is so painful. Why are there so many fking processes and genes. I cries)
If Meng Shi gained powers from the worship she received in the Guanyin temple and used it to help Meng Yao reincarnate.
As Jin Guangyao is dragged into the coffin by Nie Mingjueâs corpse, he thinks, thatâs it. Everything ends here. His ambitions, his desires, his foolishness, his ruthlessness, his pain, his sufferings. Everything ends here. Jin Guangyao feels mostly relief. Because heâs grown tired of the life heâs made for himself. But at the same time, he felt regretful. Because he can never make up to the people heâd let down. The only people in his life who ever truly loved and cared for him, he had let them down.
 Darkness embraces Jin Guangyao. He does not know for how long. But then, he suddenly hears a familiar voice that would bring tears to his eyes if he was still alive.
 âA-Yaoâ, the voice calls, gently, sweetly.
 âMotherâŠâ Jin Guangyao, no, Meng Yao, replies. âMother⊠Iâm sorry⊠Iâve let you down.â
 âNo, A-Yao, it was Mother who was wrong. Mother was foolish. I thought that by following your father, you will be happier. With Mother, you have always been looked down own. It hurt my heart but there was little I could do to protect you. I thought that your father would have treated you even a little bit well, considering blood relations, but I was wrong. Instead of helping you gain happiness, I was the one who pushed you into hell.â Meng Shiâs voice echoes solemnly.
 âNo, Mother. It is all my fault.â
 âA-Yao⊠You are a good boy. This temple you have built for me is the very evidence. Because of that, the worship I have gotten has given me some powers. I could not help you before, but now, Mother can repent for her mistakes.â With that, Meng Yao feels his soul being pulled by an invisible force.
 âA-Yao, Mother has given you life again. Mother wants to tell you to live happily and carefree. But this time, all I want is for you to follow your heart. Donât force yourself to be someone you are not. Mother gives you all her blessingsâŠâ
 Then, Meng Yao takes the first breath he has taken since Jin Guangyao died.
 --
 âWahhhhhh!â The sound of a baby cries out.
 âHeâs born! Heâs born! Quick! Give the child to me!â A man happily asks the midwife for the child. Then, gently carrying the child, he walks over to show his wife. âLook! Our little son! He looks just like you!â
 The wife looks helplessly at her husband. The newborn baby is all red and wrinkled. How can he possibly tell who the child looks like?
 âWhat shall we name our son?â The husband asks his wife excitedly.
 Without a thought, the wife suddenly says, âYao. His name is Meng Yao. Our precious jade.â
 The husband smiles, nodding happily. âWelcome to the family, A-Yao.â
 Hearing this, the baby cries even harder, heart-wrenchingly so.
 âAiyah! Whatâs wrong, darling? Donât cry!â The husband panics, looking at the midwife for help.
 Just then, the door opens, and in comes a little boy, of about nine. âIs that my little brother? Why is he crying so badly?â
 âDonât worry. Itâs normal for newborn babies to cry. He seems to have a healthy set of lungs.â The midwife laughs.
 âLet me hold my baby brother!â The young boy says, stretching out his hands.
 âBe careful,â The husband reminds his elder son. Carefully, he passes his youngest son to the boy. âYour hands must be like this. Remember to support his head. Here.â
 âHello, baby brother. Big brother will protect you, so donât cry.â
 That night, Meng Yao is reborn. To a normal but loving family. His new father, Meng Guo, is Meng Shiâs distant cousinâs son. Hence, Meng Yaoâs new body has much resemblance to his old one. His new mother is called Mei Yu, while his new older brother is called Meng Hu. And although they are just normal people who cannot cultivate, Meng Yao is happy.
 --
 In the next sixteen years that passed, Meng Yao grew to accept his past. At first, he wanted to avoid it altogether. His new family is so warm, everything he has ever wanted in a family. But Meng Yao could not be so heartless as to forget his mother, Meng Shi, who helped to give him this. Meng Yao knows that Meng Shi must have suffered severe consequences for helping him to reincarnate without going through the proper channels. Meng Yao had felt guilty at first, hence encouraging him to forget his past and to just drown in the happiness of his new life. Slowly, as his new family healed the wounds in his soul, Meng Yao is able to look back on his past calmly. And then, more often than not, Meng Yao is often reminded of Lan Xichen.
 Meng Yao had resented Lan Xichen for stabbing him. But Meng Yao also understands that he could not blame Lan Xichen for that. Although he claimed to never have intended to hurt Lan Xichen, Meng Yao knows that he has. Heâd broken Lan Xichenâs trust and did terrible things. And so, he learns to forgive Lan Xichen for stabbing him. After all, there is nothing to forgive.
 Meng Yao knows that Meng Shi wanted him to forget his past, so that he could live happy and carefree in this new life. But how can Meng Yao forget? Meng Shi and Lan Xichen are both very important people in his past life, and he had learned many lessons as well. Hence, Meng Yao does not forget, but he does not let them become his demons either. Instead, he used them as a reminder to better appreciate what he has now.
 --
 It is just an ordinary day, when Meng Yao hears his brother, Meng Hu, shouting frantically. âA-Yao! Help get a doctor! Quick!â
 The words scare Meng Yao into action, running quickly outside the house to see Meng Hu supporting a man with blood-soaked white robes. Meng Yao sees the familiar embroidery on the white robes. They belonged to the Lan Sect. Upon hearing Meng Hu call out âA-Yaoâ, the injured man had looked up, eyes meeting Meng Yaoâs.
 âEr-Ge,â Meng Yao whispers under his breath, rooted to the spot when he recognises the injured man.
 âA-Yao? Why are you just standing there? Quickly get a doctor!â Meng Hu calls out, breaking Meng Yao out from his trance.
 Worry quickly engulfs Meng Yaoâs heart as he ran off to find a doctor. Why is Er-Ge here? Why is Er-Ge injured? Is he okay? Will he be okay? When Meng Yao finds the doctor, he takes the tools from the doctorâs hands, running back off himself.
 âHey! Wait for me!â The doctor calls out.
 âI will go back first to do first aid!â Meng Yao shouts back, not pausing in his steps.
 When Meng Yao returns, Lan Xichen is lying on the floor, unconscious. Without a word, Meng Yao tries to carry Lan Xichen to his bed.
 âAiyah! A-Yao! Donât move him anymore.â Meng Hu says.
 âIâll bring him to my bed. I canât just let him lie on the floor!â Meng Yao says, struggling but failing to move Lan Xichen.
 âIt will be difficult to wash the blood out,â Meng Hu says.
 âI know how to, so it's not a problem. Brother. Help me move him.â Meng Yao replies. Seeing Meng Huâs hesitance, Meng Yao runs over to softly tug at his brotherâs sleeves. He knew that his brother was weak to that. âPlease, Brother?â
 Sighing, Meng Hu pats the top of Meng Yaoâs head. As he goes over to carry Lan Xichen again, he does not forget to say, âThen A-Yao must do something for me.â
 âWhat does Brother want?â Meng Yao asks, bringing the doctorâs tools with him to his room.
 âHmm⊠A-Yao must make me dessert every day until Mother and Father return from their trip.â Meng Hu says. In their family, Meng Yao had the best cooking, and everyone loved Meng Yaoâs desserts. However, their mother, Mei Yu, did not let Meng Yao make desserts often because she believed it was unhealthy. Hence, Meng Yaoâs desserts were reserved only for special occasions.
 âOkay,â Meng Yao replies easily. âBut you must make sure Mother does not find out.â
 --
 When the doctor arrives, Meng Yao has already stopped the blood.
 âNot bad,â The doctor praises Meng Yaoâs first aid. âInterested to be my apprentice?â
 Meng Yao smiles. He had a lot of experience wrapping up his own wounds in his past life. Meng Yao had not found what he wanted to do in this life yet, thinking that maybe he could open up a dessert shop or something. But hearing the doctorâs words, Meng Yao thinks that maybe he should be a doctor. In his past life, he had taken many lives. To make up for that, he could help save lives instead. âI will be honoured.â
 --
 The next few days, as Lan Xichen remains unconscious, Meng Yao begins learning from the doctor. Meng Yao is wiping down Lan Xichen with a wet towel when he hears a familiar voice.
 âA-YaoâŠâ
 Looking up, Meng Yao sees that Lan Xichen is awake. Meng Yao greets Lan Xichen calmly, as if they are strangers.
 âA-Yao⊠Itâs you, right? Youâre my A-YaoâŠâ Lan Xichen says, voice deep with sorrow. âIâm sorry, A-Yao. Please forgive your Er-Ge.â
 Meng Yao feels tears prick at the back of his eyes but he resists the urge to cry into Lan Xichenâs chest. Looking back down, Meng Yao says. âThere is nothing to be sorry for.â
 âThere is. Itâs my fault for not noticing. For not being there and helping you when you needed help.â
 âItâs not Er-Geâs responsibility.â
 âIt is. Not only am I your Er-Ge, but as someone who loves you, I should not have been so blind to your needs. Wangji could tell when Wei gongzi needed help. Yet, I could not.â
 The words cause Meng Yaoâs heart to skip a beat. Calming himself down, Meng Yao says, âHow can our relationship be compared to theirs?â
 âBecause I also love you, A-Yao. I realised I loved you when it was already too late.â
 Meng Yao looks up again, eyes wide in surprise. âYou love me? Like Wangji loves Wei Wuxian?â
 âYes⊠A-Yao⊠Can you give me a chance? Please? All these years, Iâve missed you.â Lan Xichen says. Then, without giving Meng Yao a chance to reply, he embraces the other.
 âEr-GeâŠâ
 âCall me by my name⊠PleaseâŠâ
 âA-Huan⊠I⊠But I⊠Iâm just a normal person. I cannot cultivate. And I have a new family now. I must be filial to my new parents. They treat me so well⊠And my brother. I donât want to leave this place.â
 âItâs okay. I will stay here with you.â Lan Xichen promises.
 âBut what about the Lan Sect? And youâre not even going to ask how Iâm alive when my soul is supposed to be trapped in the coffin?â
 âA-Yao⊠How youâre still alive is not important to me. The fact that youâre alive is more than enough for me. As for the Lan Sect⊠I am no longer the sect leader. The Sect Elders have decided that Iâm too unstable. After you died, I stayed in seclusion for the first ten years. Then, I tried to return to my duties as Sect Leader, but I didnât think I was suitable. Iâm too naĂŻve and foolish. And I couldnât find any meaning in cultivating⊠I started going on Night Hunts alone, going for all sorts of dangerous creatures. If I could eliminate them, great. But if I couldnât and they killed me instead, thatâs fine too.â
 âEr-Ge! How could youâŠâ
 âMy name,â Lan Xichen reminds Meng Yao.
 âA-Huan⊠YouâŠâ
 âEvery day, I thought of you. I thought of all the things Iâve done wrong. I couldnât even protect the person I loved. How can I lead and protect a whole sect? A-Yao⊠I only have you left. Maybe Iâm being shameless and selfish, trying to use this to guilt you into accepting me. But A-Yao⊠All my life, Iâve lived doing what is expected of me. Doing whatâs considered right. But never have I been selfish and did what I wanted. After you died, I questioned the skies, why did I lose the person I love even though Iâve only done what is right? Where is the justice in that? And then, I realised that being selfless and benevolent will not give me you. So let me be selfish, and have you instead⊠Please⊠A-Yao.â
 Hearing Lan Xichenâs words, Meng Yao feels his heart clenching painfully. If Lan Xichen loves him and wants to be with him, and Meng Yao returns the feelings, then why should he reject? Follow your heart, Meng Shi had said. And so, Meng Yao does.
 --
 Meng Hu realises that there is something strange with the way his little brother treats their guest. Meng Hu had been walking through the forest that day when he had found the injured man. Having been taught to be a good Samaritan by his parents, Meng Hu had brought the injured man home. Although he has never brought an injured stranger home before, Meng Hu is sure that the way Meng Yao reacts is strange. Who would let an injured stranger, still dripping blood, onto their beds? And every day, Meng Yao would religiously clean the strangerâs body with a wet cloth. When Meng Hu had asked, Meng Yao had replied that the stranger would not like to be dirty. Meng Hu had been confused. The stranger was unconscious, so how could he be upset at being unclean?
 It got even worse when the stranger woke up. His cute little brother began spending even more time with the stranger. Meng Hu learns that the stranger is called Lan Huan. And instead of calling the man âLan Huanâ, his little brother called the man âA-Huanâ, as if they were very close. Before the man woke, Meng Yao had slept on his bed while Meng Hu himself slept on the floor. But after the man awoke, Meng Yao began sleeping back in his bed with the man. And then, whenever Meng Yao makes the dessert he owed Meng Hu, Meng Yao had also made the man a share. In fact, Meng Yao often made the man all sorts of food and desserts, and Meng Hu himself only got a small portion if he was lucky.
 Meng Hu crosses his arms as he stares across at the table. Meng Yao and that strange man were helping each other add food into each otherâs bowls. Meng Hu only got this treatment rarely. Narrowing his eyes, a thought suddenly comes to Meng Huâs head. That strange man was trying to steal his brother! Immediately, Meng Hu slams his chopsticks onto the table, startling the other two people who look at him questioningly.
 âBrother? Whatâs wrong?â Meng Yao asks.
 âA-Yao. Can you wait outside for a moment? I have something I want to say to Lan gongzi.â Meng Hu says. Although confused, Meng Yao listens. There was no way Meng Hu could hurt Lan Xichen and vice versa anyway.
 When Meng Yao leaves, Meng Hu immediately says, âStay away from my little brother.â
 For a moment, Lan Xichen thinks that Meng Hu knows about their relationship.
 But then, Meng Hu continues, âA-Yao is my brother. Not yours. Donât even think about stealing him. You want a little brother? Go somewhere else to steal one.â
 Lan Xichen smiles, trying not to laugh. âDonât worry. I donât see A-Yao as a little brother.â
 Of course not, Lan Xichen thinks. Meng Yao is his love.
 âGood,â Meng Hu sighs in relief. Then, voice deepening, he adds, âYou better not be lying.â
 --
 Unlike Meng Hu who saw Lan Xichen as a rival for his little brotherâs affection, Meng Guo and Mei Yu happily accept Lan Xichen into the family. When the two finally returned from their little âhoneymoonâ trip, Lan Xichen was already mostly healed. Meng Yao never really had any friends, so the two were very happy to see the way Meng Yao interacted with Lan Xichen, thinking that their son has finally found a friend. And when they find out that Lan Xichen had nowhere else to go, they easily welcomed him to stay.
 A year after Lan Xichen and Meng Yaoâs reunion, they finally come out to the Meng parents, thinking that enough time has passed for them to not feel that their relationship is too sudden. Furthermore, over the year, they never really hid their relationship.
 Meng Guo and Mei Yu had been surprised initially, but they saw the way the two interacted and believed that Lan Xichen will treat their son well. On the other hand, Meng Hu hates himself for having brought the injured Lan Xichen back in the first place. He had unknowingly brought a wolf into his home, and now the wolf has stolen is precious little brother. However, Meng Hu also acknowledges that Lan Xichen and Meng Yao are a perfect match. And so, threatening Lan Xichen to treat Meng Yao well or else, he begrudgingly gives them his blessings as well.
 --
 And so, there came the stories of a travelling doctor and his knight. The doctor would help anybody, and for free, and his knight would stay beside him to protect him. When the two had died of old age, the villagers who had received their help wanted to do their funeral. However, another legendary couple had appeared and taken the dead bodies away.
 Burying the two together, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian had told the departed souls, âFarewell, brother, brother-in-law.â
Jin Guangyao is the spray of plum blossom rooted in Lan Xichen's heart.
âAh! Er-Ge! The plum blossoms are blooming!â Jin Guangyao says, pulling Lan Xichen with him out into the snow.
 âSlow down, A-Yao. The plum blossoms will not stop blooming in the time it takes you to go out.â Lan Xichen chides softly.
 âIâm just excited, â Jin Guangyao explains, looking up at the plum blossoms with bright wide eyes. âTheyâre so beautiful!â
 Not as beautiful as you, Lan Xichen thinks. People often said that Jin Guangyao reminded them of peonies, mostly because it is the representative motif of the Jin Sect. Yet, to Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao is more like a plum blossom.
 Even in the harsh cold winter, the plum blossom blooms alone, proud and mesmerising. The plum blossom stood for strength, perseverance, elegance, pride, arrogance, and beauty. To Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao held all these characteristics. Even though Jin Guangyao grew up in a poor environment filled with insults and discouragement, he never gave up. Despite being rejected and kicked and hurt, Jin Guangyao continues to stand strong. And amidst all the hardships he faced, Jin Guangyao grew and bloomed, becoming the beautiful and mesmerising man he is now.
 âWhat are you staring at?â Jin Guangyao asks as he sees the dazed look on Lan Xichenâs face.
 âYou,â Lan Xichen replies.
 Jin Guangyaoâs cheeks immediately redden. âLook at the plum blossoms!â
 I am, Lan Xichen thinks. Iâm looking at the plum blossom that has rooted deeply in my heart.
 Quietly, gently, Lan Xichen removes his coat and puts it around Jin Guangyao.
 âWhat -â Jin Guangyao turns to ask.
 âDonât catch a cold, A-Yao,â Lan Xichen says. My heart will hurt if you fall sick.
 Flustered, Jin Guangyao quickly removes the coat and puts it back over Lan Xichen. Then, turning his back to Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao leans into his chest and brings his arms around himself. âLike this, we both wonât catch a cold.â
 âYou are right,â Lan Xichen whispers into Jin Guangyaoâs ears, causing the latter to shiver. Looking down at the redness of Jin Guangyaoâs ears, Lan Xichen thinks they are redder and more beautiful that the petals of the plum blossom.
 Thinking of a song he once heard, Lan Xichen begins to sing softly to Jin Guangyao.
 True love is wide like the grassland
Unhindered by the layers of wind and rain
There will eventually be a time when the clouds open and the sun comes out
A thousand sunlight shines upon us
 True love is like plum blossoms blooming
Unhidden by the cold icy snow
At its coldest
Its branches burst into bloom
Seeing as spring walks towards you and me
 Snowflakes drift and the north wind whistles
The world is boundless
A spray of winter plum blossoms
Stands proudly in the snow
Its fragrance drifting only for that person
 Love what I love without complains or regrets
This feeling stays long
In my heart
 Indeed, Lan Xichen thinks, he will love what he loves without complaints or regrets. He will love and protect Jin Guangyao without any complaint or regrets. Jin Guangyao is the spray of plum blossoms blooming in his heart, and they are true love that will stay long.
If the honour and respect that came with being Jin Guangyao is his red rose, his cinnabar mark, then Lan Xichen is his white rose, the white moonlight illuminating the dark recess of his heart where little Meng Yao lives.
âIf you attain the red rose, it will become a smear of mosquito blood. The white rose will then become the white moonlight before your window, in sight but unattainable. But if you attain the white rose, it will become a grain of rice. The red rose will then become the cinnabar mark on your chest, it is eternal pain, an eternal mark.â
 When he first heard this story, young and naĂŻve Meng Yao had asked his mother, âWhy canât I have both roses? Mama always receives many flowers, not just red and white roses.â
 Back then, Meng Shi had only replied with a smile. âA-Yao will understand when you grow up.â
 Young Meng Yao did not understand the story of the red rose and white rose, nor did he understand the concept of opportunity cost. There wasnât much that little Meng Yao wanted. For Meng Yao, staying by his motherâs side was enough. He did not need any red roses or white roses. But the realities of the world are harsh and unrelenting. People are not kind, especially not to the weak. âItâs the survival of the fittestâ, they say. If you donât survive, you only have yourself to blame for being weak. Unless it concerns their own interest, nobody would care about other peopleâs well-being. And to survive in the lowest level of society, even an innocent sweet child has to learn to grow into a swift and merciless sharp knife.
 It takes being kicked down those long flight of stairs for him to finally realise that. Even if related by blood, people can still mercilessly deny your existence. Because of all the love his mother had showered on him, especially in contrast to other peopleâs contempt, Meng Yao had always believed that blood is thicker than water. And because of his motherâs countless tales and promises about his father, Meng Yao had high hopes and expectations. Yet, all these were shattered by the kick Meng Yao received. Perhaps, that it when Meng Yao learns that kinship is not so valuable after all.
 Nobody cared to look beyond the surface. What people see is not Meng Yao himself, but the large words âSON OF A PROSTITUTEâ instead. And so, Meng Yao learns to wear a mask, a façade, so that nobody could see those unsightly words. If he hid whatever belonged to young and naĂŻve Meng Yao deep within the dark recesses of his being, the identity of his mother, the innocence, the kindness, the softness, the weakness, the frailness, then would people finally show him respect? So, Meng Yao hides behind the mask of Jin Guangyao.
 As expected, the masses only look at the surface value. They donât care about Meng Yao or what heâs done to become Jin Guangyao. All they see now when they see Jin Guangyao is âChief Cultivatorâ, someone who has risen to the top, someone they respected because of his new status. After his mother died, Meng Yao had only ever suffered rejection and denial. But Jin Guangyao received honour and respect. Jin Guangyao was the armour he had to wear, to protect the little Meng Yao in his heart. All he wants is to protect what is left of himself. Is that too much to ask for? If his father could disregard friendship and kinship to harm the people around him, then why couldnât Jin Guangyao do so as well? And even if Meng Yao has not done anything wrong, others scorn him anyway. Because as the saying goes, if the upper beam is not straight, the lower beam will be crooked. If his mother is a prostitute, then as her son, he isnât any better. And looking at the atrocities of his father, he thinks, why canât he prove them right? And at the end of the day, everything he did was for self-defence. After all, Jin Guangyao is the only one left in this world who would care about little Meng Yao.
 Except, there is someone else. Meng Yaoâs white rose. Jin Guangyao and what belonged to him is his red rose, respect, honour, and warm sunlight on his skin. And Lan Xichen is his white rose, acceptance, trust, friendship, love, and white moonlight illuminating the dark recesses of his heart where little Meng Yao lived. Lan Xichen saw beyond Jin Guangyao, seeing the gentle and kind little Meng Yao. Lan Xichen calls him âA-Yaoâ softly, precious jade, and it is only in front of Lan Xichen that Meng Yao can freely exist.
 Finally, he understands the story his mother once told him about the red rose and white rose. If he chooses the red rose, to remain as Jin Guangyao, the smear of blood on the wall is not just a mosquitoâs, but also the blood of the people he would have to sacrifice. Including the little Meng Yao who is suffocated and stifled in the dark. Lan Xichen would be the white moonlight outside the window of his heart, in sight but unattainable. Because to be Jin Guangyao, he had to maintain a certain reputation, and he had to do terrible things that Lan Xichen would not approve of. Even if Lan Xichen has defended him countless times when he has done something bad, there were horrific things Jin Guangyao had to do to maintain his position. Horrific things that even Lan Xichen would not accept.
 Maybe he could give up being Jin Guangyao and exist as Meng Yao. But weak little Meng Yao can only exist and survive in front of Lan Xichen. Perhaps Lan Xichen could protect little Meng Yao, but there is only so much Lan Xichen can do. If he chose his white rose, the masses would revile and mock him. Lan Xichen might be able to stop them from talking, but he could not stop them from thinking for looking at Meng Yao with contempt. The words âPETâ and âSON OF A PROSTITUTEâ would be a scarlet mark. âAs expected of a prostituteâs son, he can only survive by whoring himself out and being the pet of a powerful cultivator.â The world is harsh and cruel, and even more so to adults. Meng Yao is no longer a child, so the abuse is that much greater and harsher. He doesnât think Meng Yao can survive. He could try, but he feared. More than being drowned by the spit of condemning masses, Meng Yao feared that Lan Xichen would grow tired of him and find him a burden. Meng Yao was also afraid that he might one day resent Lan Xichen for âpreventingâ him from reaching his full potential. After all, nobody wants to live weakly under someone elseâs constant babying and protection.
 Meng Yao tried for the longest time to keep both the red rose and the white rose. He knows that one day, he will have to choose one, but he wants to have both for as long as he could. But when you are greedy, you will end up having nothing at the end.
 As the truth of what heâs done to become Jin Guangyao comes up, his red rose withers and dies, while his white roseâs thorns pierce through his skin and through his heart. Red rose, white rose, everyone has to make a choice.
MATURE!!! Please check the AO3 link for any tags or triggers!!
AO3:Â https://archiveofourown.org/works/20010301
If there is a next life, I'd rather betray the world than to let you down. If there is a next life, I will throw away everything, and only love you.
âMeng Yao!â A shrill voice echoed down the halls.
 âComing!â A young and sweet voice replied, followed by the sound of hurried footsteps. âWhat is it?â
 âThe kitchen is out of rice! And while youâre outside, collect the new clothes and buy some new hair sticks for tomorrowâs event.â The owner of the first voice says.
 âUnderstood!â The other replied, quickly running off to do his errand.
 His name is Meng Yao. His mother was the most popular courtesan in the brothel, and he had been conceived in that brothel. His mother insisted on giving birth to him when she found out she was pregnant, strongly believing that his father would return to buy her freedom. However, his father never returned. Nonetheless, his mother, Meng Shi, continued to believe, bringing Meng Yao up in the brothel. From the moment Meng Yao learned to walk, he had been the brothelâs errand boy. After all, there is no free lunch in the world. As someone without freedom herself, Meng Shi is unable to bring up Meng Yao on her own. And so, Meng Yao was brought up by the people in the brothel who depend on him to run errands as payment for bringing him up. And even after Meng Shi dies, Meng Yao remains in the brothel as there is no where else he can go.
 Normally, Meng Yao would wear his own robes out to run his errands. However, this day was different. The shops selling jewellery had class and would not allow him to enter in such worn-out clothes as they will probably think heâs a thief or a beggar. Of course, no one would buy Meng Yao nice clothes to go to such stores. Instead, Meng Yao would wear his motherâs old robes. After all, a courtesanâs robes had to have standards. And since Meng Yao looked almost exactly like his mother, the feminine robes did not look strange on him, Meng Yao blending in perfectly as a woman.
 And it was that day that Meng Yaoâs life changed. He met someone who treated him kindly without expecting anything in return. Someone who was not his own mother.
 Meng Yao had been robbed, the thief believing that Meng Yao was only a weak and helpless woman. Having to carry so many things, Meng Yao was truly helpless at that time. And then, a young man in elegant blue robes swooshes in and catches the thief, returning the purse to Meng Yao. When Meng Yao met the manâs eyes, he felt his heart skip a beat.
 Smiling sweetly, Meng Yao thanked the man, ready to give him monetary compensation. Gently, the man rejects the compensation, smiling warmly in return.
 âYou must have been surprised,â The man says, voice making Meng Yao swoon. âAre you okay?â
 âYâŠYesâŠâ Meng Yao blushes, looking down shyly.
 âYou seem to have your hands full. Why donât I help you carry them and send you to your destination?â
 âAhhhâŠâ Meng Yao wants to say yes. He wants to stay longer with this man. But at the same time, Meng Yao felt embarrassed. He could not let the man know he is going to a brothel. Although Meng Yao himself does not feel like he is lesser for being a courtesanâs son and for working and living in a brothel, he had been scolded and humiliated countless times by others. Although he is certain that the gentleman in front of him will not look down on him, Meng Yao does not want to tell the other. âItâs okay⊠Thank you very much but it would not be right for a young man like you to send a young woman like me home. Iâm afraid there might be some misunderstandingsâŠâ
 âRight. Iâm so sorry.â The man replies, apologetic. âThenâŠâ
 âI⊠Iâm Meng Yao!â Meng Yao suddenly says. Although he would probably never meet this gentleman again, Meng Yao wanted the other to remember him.
 âIâm Lan Xichen,â The man replies, smiling warmly. âPleased to meet you.â
 S⊠Same!â Meng Yao stutters, flustered.
 âXichen Ge!â Another voice interrupts, causing Meng Yao and Lan Xichen to turn to look at the owner of the voice.
 âHuaisang,â Lan Xichen calls, acknowledging the newcomer.
 âMy brother is looking for you!â Nie Huaisang says.
 âAhâŠâ Lan Xichen looks at Meng Yao, unwilling to go.
 âGo, then. May we be able to meet again.â Meng Yao gives a sad smile before turning away. As if they would, Meng Yao thinks. They are people of different status. He is merely a lowly courtesanâs son, while Lan Xichen is a proper gentleman.
 --
 But as if fate would have it, Meng Yao meets Lan Xichen again, and a place Meng Yao did not want to see Lan Xichen at â  the brothel he is working at. Although Meng Yao knows that it is common for gentlemen and scholars to also frequent brothels, he did not want Lan Xichen in such a place.
 But what Meng Yao does not know is that Lan Xichen is not here because he wants to. Lan Xichen is a general of the Yi Empire and is here with some of the other military personnel on a mission. The Yi Empire and their neighbouring Wen Empire are preparing for war, and one of the reasons is for the land they are on now. The land did not belong to either country, but lately, due to the prosperity of the town on this land, both countries began eyeing it. According to the spies sent to the Wen Empire, many of their ministers frequent the brothel here. Hence, the Yi Empireâs commander Nie Minjue decided to bring some of the military personnel to the brothel for information. Whether they caught an actual minister or gathered information from the courtesans here, it was agreed that coming to the brothel would help them prepare for the war.
 As their timing would have it, they were in luck because the brothel is having their yearly âFlower Bloomingâ event. Every year, at the start of spring, the brothel would have a special auction for the first nights of their newly of-age courtesans. And of course, many of the Wen Empire ministers would not miss this. However, not having been to this brothel, the Yi Empire military personnel did not know of some of the brothelâs tricks. The owner of the brothel loved money, and they would never miss an opportunity to trick rich and naĂŻve young customers. The brothel knows that some of the young masters that come here are brought here for the first time by friends. Sometimes willing, sometimes unwilling. But more often than not, many of these new customers are too shy to purchase a courtesanâs time. Hence, to help âeaseâ them, the brothel added some drugs that had aphrodisiac effects in their drinks. When the effects of the drugs hit, some of the other less popular courtesans would take the opportunity to take these young masters to bed, forcing them to pay for their time the next day.
 Being unaware of this, Lan Xichen falls victim to the drugs because he looks like the stereotypical young master dragged in by their friends. On the other hand, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang appeared to be very familiar with the place, causing the brothel to choose not to bother wasting their drugs on them. As Lan Wangji and Nie Mingjue remained outside the brothel with a few other subordinates to watch for trouble, they are not drugged either.
 In the beginning, nobody notices that Lan Xichen is drugged. Quietly, the three had agreed to each follows a courtesan to the rooms so that they could catch the Wen Empire ministers off-guard. But when Lan Xichen enters a room that is on the opposite wing as Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang, the effects of the drugs finally hit.
 Lan Xichen feels his body heating up as blood travels down. Embarrassed, Lan Xichen tries to push the courtesan away but to no avail.
 âAiyah⊠Gongzi⊠No need to be shy. I will serve you well.â The courtesan says, smiling sweetly.
 Lan Xichenâs eyebrows furrow in frustration, the thick smell of the courtesanâs perfume making his head dizzy. With his head hazy from the effects of the drugs, Lan Xichen is easily pushed down onto the bed by the courtesan. But before anything else can happen, Meng Yao sneaks into the room.
 After observing Lan Xichen for a while, Meng Yao had realised that Lan Xichen did not want to be there from the way he held himself awkwardly, keeping his eyes away from the courtesans. Knowing the tricks that the brothel used, Meng Yao did not want the pure and kind gentleman to fall victim. When Meng Yao sees that the courtesan forcing herself on Lan Xichen is the courtesan that used to bully him and his mother the most, Meng Yaoâs vision turns red with anger. Impulsively, Meng Yao picks up the first thing he finds, a chair, and swings it over the courtesanâs head. When blood seeps from the wound, Meng Yao wakes from his sudden trance, fear filling his heart. Heâs killed someone, Meng Yao thinks.
 Stepping forward shakily, Meng Yao brings a finger to the courtesanâs nose. Feeling the breath on his skin, Meng Yao sighs in relief. For these tricked new young masters who will only pay when they wake the next day, it was free game for any courtesan. Hence, it is not uncommon for courtesans to fight over them and get injured, especially for courtesans that have lost popularity. With the courtesan unconscious, Meng Yao quickly sneaks Lan Xichen into his own room, a small storage space at the backyard of the brothel.
 Settling Lan Xichen into his bed, Meng Yao softly says, âWait a little while. I will go make some soup that will clear your mind.â
 But as Meng Yao turns to leave, he is pulled down into a strong chest. Looking up, Meng Yao meets Lan Xichenâs hazy eyes.
 âGongzi?â Meng Yao calls out, struggling to escape Lan Xichenâs grasps. After the initial wave of weakness, the drugs will then return strength to the consumer so that they could act out on the desires stimulated by the drugs. Hence, Meng Yao is unable to escape. Feeling Lan Xichen breathing heavily yet resisting from acting any further than just holding him, Meng Yao feels his heart turn to mush. Meng Yao knows that Lan Xichen must be in pain, trying to hold back his desires. But even despite the haze of the drugs that lower his inhibitions, Lan Xichen is still trying his best to be a gentleman. Meng Yao thinks that it is at this moment that he falls in love with the other. Without much thought, Meng Yao leans forward as Lan Xichen leans down.
 At first, their lips brush against each other, light as a feather. Then, as if Lan Xichen feels like he has gotten permission, the kiss deepens, Lan Xichenâs tongue sweeping into Meng Yaoâs mouth. Meng Yao moans into the kiss, fingers clutching tightly to Lan Xichenâs collars.
 --é瀌ćżè§--
 When Lan Xichen comes to, he is confused to see blood on the bed. Because both parties were not experienced, and Lan Xichen was also drugged, the preparations were not done well. After their rounds of passion and Lan Xichen fell asleep, Meng Yao barely had any energy to clean the mess left inside him. Working at the brothel, there was still some knowledge that Meng Yao has, such as having to clean up whatever is left up your ass if you did not want to fall sick the next day. Meng Yao had wanted to clean the blood off the bed as well, but he just did not have the energy left.
 Just then, Meng Yao returns from the kitchen with breakfast in hand.
 âHere, gongzi. Drink this soup. It will help clear your mind.â Meng Yao says softly, bringing the food to the bed as there is no table in this small room. Lan Xichen notices the strange way the other walks, images from the previous night coming to mind. Recalling that the brothel was selling the first night of their young courtesans, Lan Xichen quickly comes to a conclusion. He has taken the first night of the âmaidenâ before him.
 âI will take responsibility for you and buy your freedom, Miss,â Lan Xichen says, and Meng Yao knows that the other has misunderstood his gender. However, Meng Yao lets it slide. He did not know if Lan Xichen will still accept him if he knew that he was a man. And although he may be lying to Lan Xichen like this, Meng Yao could not bring himself to admit the truth. Meng Yao wanted to stay by Lan Xichenâs side, and he feared the look of detest Lan Xichen may have if he knew. Hence, Meng Yao only nods quietly and smiles.
 Although the owner of the brothel is confused when Lan Xichen says that he wants to buy Meng Yaoâs freedom as Meng Yao is technically a free person, the owner takes the money anyway.
 --
 Lan Xichen does not know how to feel. Although he was drugged and most memories of the night were hazy, Lan Xichen knows that he had enjoyed the night with Meng Yao. And not only because of that, but also because of his upbringing and a reason he could not name, Lan Xichen promises to take responsibility for Meng Yao. In all honesty, Lan Xichen has always thought that he would marry a woman chosen by his family, a woman who would be of status. And although Lan Xichen himself did not have anything against courtesans or people of lower status, he is not sure how he is going to explain himself to his family. Lan Xichen is also worried that his family would not accept a courtesan into the family. And as expected, when Lan Xichen returns to the inn the rest of the military personnel are currently staying at, his younger brother, Lan Wangji is the first to protest.
 âWho is that?â Lan Wangji asks, eyes clear with suspicion at Meng Yao.
 âYour future sister-in-law,â Lan Xichen says.
 âOur family will not accept a courtesan into the family,â Lan Wangji replies stoically.
âI know, but I will take responsibility,â Lan Xichen promises.
 âWell, it is about time General Lan has a lover,â Wei Wuxian jokes.
 âI trust that you know what youâre doing,â Nie Mingjue says, warning Lan Xichen not to blindly trust Meng Yao between the lines.
 --
 When they return back to the capital of the Yi Empire and Lan Xichen brings Meng Yao back to his family home, Meng Yao is rejected as expected. The Lan family are a respectable family that believed in one husband and one wife. This husband or wife can be poor or of lower status, but must come from a good family and have good morals. Hence, the Lan family could not accept Meng Yao, who came from a brothel, into the family. Unable to change each otherâs mind, both sides agree to visit this topic in a later and better time. But in the meantime, Lan Xichen lives with Meng Yao in another house he buys.
 In this small little house, Meng Yao finally feels at home. Hence, when Lan Xichen suggests getting servants to take care of chores in the house, Meng Yao disagrees. This is his home, and Meng Yao did not want outsiders in it. Watching as Meng Yao busies around the house, cooking and cleaning, Lan Xichen feels a relaxed happiness. Smiling, Lan Xichen tries to help Meng Yao out.
 âItâs fine to just let me do it.â Meng Yao laughs as he sees Lan Xichen cracking an egg, shell and all, into a bowl.
 âI just wanted to helpâŠâ Lan Xichen explains, embarrassed.
 âYou can help me wash the vegetables,â Meng Yao responds, happily giving Lan Xichen the job of washing things.
 It does not take long for Lan Xichen to finish washing. âIâm done. What else can I do?â
 Seeing Lan Xichenâs eagerness to help, Meng Yao cannot help but laugh again joy radiating from his being. Even though Lan Xichen is a young master who always had many servants doing the chores, never once having to any himself and is hence terrible at all the chores, he still insisted on helping Meng Yao.
 âHmm⊠Can you cut the meat then?â Meng Yao suggests.
 Lan Xichen easily nods. As a general, Lan Xichen is familiar with using a sword. Hence, he does not think that a small kitchen knife would be much different. However, Lan Xichen is wrong, accidentally giving himself a cut on the finger. âAh!â
 Hearing Lan Xichenâs sound of pain, Meng Yao quickly drops what he is doing and rushes over to Lan Xichen. Picking up Lan Xichenâs hand worriedly, Meng Yao quickly sucks on the injured finger, that being the only emergency first aid he knows. Meng Yao is still fussing over Lan Xichenâs injury when he realises that the atmosphere has suddenly become very ambiguous. Looking up, Meng Yao sees Lan Xichen looking at him like a predator looking at its prey. Immediately, Meng Yaoâs cheeks redden as he realises the insinuations of his actions.
 âThe sun is still out,â Meng Yaos softly says, taking Lan Xichenâs finger out of his mouth and instead running water over the wound. Lan Xichen smiles indulgingly in response. Meng Yao is so shy, Lan Xichen thinks happily. But what Lan Xichen did not know was that the reason why Meng Yao only allowed them to be intimate after night falls in the dark is to hide the fact that he is a man.
 --
 Their happy domestic life does not last long, because the war between the Yi and Wen Empire is starting. Lan Xichen does not want to bring Meng Yao along, because Meng Yaoâs safety is important to him.
 However, Meng Yao insists on coming along. âAlthough I am not yet your wife, I want to help you and be by your side. Besides, the other generals and other high-ranking soldiers all bring their wives to serve them in camp. Is it perhaps because you donât consider me your wife that you wonât bring me along?â
 Being unable to rebut, Lan Xichen finally agrees to let Meng Yao follow. The wives would be safe in the camp and wonât be brought to the battlefield, Lan Xichen comforts himself.
 --
 Meng Yao does not know who spread the rumours that he was a courtesan, but soon, all the wives in the camp are against him. Even if it is not because of his status, they would still have hated him when they see how their husbands look at him. Because Meng Yao looks very much like his mother, he looks very beautiful and feminine despite being a man. Furthermore, it is not difficult to unknowingly pick up things when living in the brothel, such as how to move and smile and talk in ways that are beautiful and elegant. The other wives began to be certain that Meng Yao is trying to seduce their husbands. After all, what can one expect from a prostitute?
 And so the other wives group together to pick on Meng Yao. Of course, being well-versed in the art of war in the harem as their husbands could have many wives, the band of wives are careful not be get caught by other people.
 When the men are out either strategizing or fighting, the band of wives would force Meng Yao to do their chores. If Meng Yao protested, they would physically hurt him, either by throwing things at him or hitting him themselves. And because of their own experiences, the band of wives knew how to hurt him without leaving marks. If it was one-on-one, Meng Yao would be able to save himself. But because they came on him as a group, Meng Yao can only give in. And all the while, the band of wives never forget to scold and insult him.
 âWhat a filthy whore!â
 âI donât know how many men have used her!â
 âI heard that many of these prostitutes use drugs to force men to pay for their time. I bet she did this to General Lan too! Taking advantage of General Lanâs kindness, sheâs just a filthy unwanted bitch!â
 Meng Yao feels like he is close to bursting. But he bites down on his teeth and forces himself to drown out the condescending voices. Meng Yao knows that if he told Lan Xichen that he was being bullied by the other wives, Lan Xichen would believe him and seek justice on his behalf. But Meng Yao could not be so wilful, because they are currently at war and the harmony of the men must be kept. The husbands of these wives are all high-ranking soldiers as well, so it would not be good for Lan Xichen to have any conflict with them. And at the end of the day, Meng Yao is used to the abuse. Other than the additional slut-shaming, it isnât too different from when he was still working at the brothel.
 --
 Days pass by like this, until one day, Meng Yao is cornered by a group of soldiers on his way out of his tent. Lan Xichen and the other high-ranking soldiers are having a meeting in the main tent away from here, and the other normal soldiers are having free time. Somehow, rumours had spread even to the normal soldiers, and everyone knew that Meng Yao was a courtesan. What Meng Yao does not know is that this was a result of the band of wives. Realising that Meng Yao took their bullying calmly, the band of wives began feeling annoyed and angered. Hence, they would gossip loudly about Meng Yao, allowing the rumours to spread. And more importantly, they had planned to have a group of soldiers force themselves onto Meng Yao. To them, it is to let Lan Xichen see Meng Yaoâs âtrue faceâ. After all, the band of wives believed that all courtesans are filthy whores who seduced and slept with many men.
 After many weeks of fighting in the war, many of these soldiers did not get to relieve their sexual needs. Hence, it is not difficult for the band of wives to lure a group of them into cornering Meng Yao in his tent.
 Meng Yao sees the perverse looks on the soldiersâ faces, and a shiver runs down his spine in fear. There are six of them, and only one of him, and his way out is completely blocked.
 âAs expected of a prostitute,â One of the soldiers leers. âVery beautiful and delectable.â
 âYes indeed. Look at that porcelain skin, must be very smooth, unlike our calloused hands.â
 âHahaha⊠Why donât you touch and see for yourself?â
 âDo you not know who I am?â Meng Yao tries to scare them, but the step back he takes only serves to make them laugh.
 âOf course! Youâre a whore. Hahahaha!â
 âIâm General Lanâs w-â Meng Yao wanted to say that he was Lan Xichenâs wife, but they have yet to marry.
 âHahaha! You want to say that youâre General Lanâs wife? Donât make me laugh! How pitiful. You must think that you can marry into General Lanâs family. But the Lan family will never accept a whore into their family!â
 The words hurt Meng Yaoâs heart, because he knows that it is true. He will never be able to marry Lan Xichen because he is a man too. Nonetheless, it doesnât stop Meng Yao from trying to reason his way out. âWhatever it is, I belong to General Lan! If you touch me, General Lan will not let you go!â
 âHahaha! You are only a prostitute. A whore! You are here only for us to enjoy. We are General Lanâs trusty soldiers. We fight on the battlefield with him! We are more important than a filthy bed warmer like you!â
 âLetâs not bother arguing with this whore anymore. Iâd rather we get a move on. I canât wait anymore!â
 âHahaha. You can go first then.â
 As the soldiers begin tugging at his clothes, Meng Yao feels like he could not breathe. Fear has clenched his chest tight, and he feels his mind emptying out. Just then, a thought flashes through his mind and Meng Yao dives to catch the sword a soldier threw down when removing his own clothes. Quickly, before anyone else could respond, Meng Yao withdraws the sword from its hilt and cuts forward. The adrenaline gives Meng Yao the energy to kill the man before him. And instead of fear and horror at having killed a man, Meng Yao suddenly feels calm. And then, Meng Yao feels elation. For once in his life, he stood up for himself and fought back. If no one else could give him justice, then he would fight for his own justice. However, this fight is not easy. Because as soldiers, the other men do not take long to respond, whipping out their own swords.
 Just then, a voice rings out, âStop!â
 Immediately, Meng Yao drops the sword, hands shaking from either excitement or fear.
 âA-Yao!â Lan Xichenâs voice that follows immediately turns all feelings Meng Yao has to fear. No⊠Meng Yao thinks. Heâs let Lan Xichen see the filthy part of himself.
 âWhat happened here?â Nie Mingjue asks, anger clear in his voice.
 But before any of the people involved could say anything, they hear another voice that says, âAiyah⊠Meng Yao is a man?â
 Immediately, Meng Yao looks down and he realises that the soldiers had successfully pulled off the most important part of his clothes, revealing his identity as a man.
 âXichen, did you know?â Nie Mingjue asks. And even though Lan Xichen does not reply, his expression clearly says that this is a surprise to him as well. Narrowing his eyes at the dead body of one of his soldiers, Nie Mingjue orders, âTie Meng Yao up and bring him for interrogation.â
 Hearing this, Lan Xichen is woken from his stupor. âShouldnât we ask what these soldiers are doing in my tent surrounding A-Yao first?â
 âDo you not see what the circumstances are here now?â Nie Mingjue replies fiercely.
 âWhat I see is that a group of soldiers have barged into the tent of my wife and have tried to -â Lan Xichen argues but is interrupted.
 âHeâs not your wife. And whatever it is, heâs killed one of my soldiers. We are on the battlefield now, Xichen. This is not a time or place for your benevolence. Bring him for interrogation!â Nie Mingjue orders.
 Lan Xichen has no choice but to obey the orders of his superior.
 --
 âWhat information have you sent to the Wenâs?!â Nie Mingjue asks, certain that Meng Yao is a spy.
 âCommander Nie, Meng Yao is not a spy,â Lan Xichen insists, heart clenching in pain as he sees Meng Yao getting whipped.
 âDonât be so naĂŻve, Xichen. We were preparing for war and finding out information about the Wenâs. And just at this perfect timing, you suddenly had your heart moved by a courtesan? Donât lie to me anymore. You were drugged by this filth and forced to take responsibility, right? He is not even a woman, but a man! Yet, he gave his body to you. What would he possibly want? No man will willingly lie under another man! It is clear that he is selling his body for information!â
 âA-Yao is not that kind of person!â
 âYeah? What do you even know about him? You think you know him! A young courtesan sold into a brothel. Ha! In the end, he isnât even a prostitute!â Nie Mingjue mocks. Then, turning to Meng Yao, he orders, âSpeak! What is your true background?â
 âI⊠My mother was a courtesan at the brothel. She became pregnant with me and gave birth to me in the brothel. I was brought up in the brothel and am only a helper there! I do not know anything about the Wen Empire. I am not a spy!â Meng Yao explains hurriedly.
 âThen why did you drug Xichen?â
 âI didnât! It is a trick that the brothel uses on some customers. General Lan was already drugged when I found him and⊠I didnât resistâŠâ Meng Yaoâs voice gets quieter towards the end.
 âHa! You want me to believe this? You didnât resist? You willingly lied under another man and agreed to be his wife? Donât lie to me! What is your motive? What do you want?!â Nie Mingueâs patience runs thin.
 âI donât have any motive! I⊠I love General Lan. I want to be his. Thatâs all I want!â Meng Yao proclaims.
 Infuriated because Nie Mingjue could not wrap his head around two men being in love, he naturally believed that Meng Yao was lying and toying with him. âWell then, since you want to play, Iâll let you play with these whips!â
 Immediately, the whips rain down on Meng Yaoâs back. Clenching his fist, Meng Yao refuses to back down or cry out. Meng Yao is tired of backing down and giving in. Seeing the look of worry in Lan Xichenâs eyes, Meng Yao smiles and nods at the other. He had to comfort Lan Xichen and let Lan Xichen know that he is okay. If not, Meng Yao feared that Lan Xichen might do something silly to try to protect him. Meng Yao does not think he deserves Lan Xichenâs protection. Even though he lied to Lan Xichen, the other still believed him. And that is enough, Meng Yao thinks. Lan Xichen is the only light in his dark life. He could not return the happiness Lan Xichen gave him these past few months by asking him to ruin his future by disobeying his superior to protect him.
 âGeneral Lan! No⊠Lan Xichen, thank you for loving me these past few months. Iâve been the happiest Iâve ever been after meeting you. I can die happy now. In my next life, I hope to be born a woman, so that I can truly be with you, and bear you a child. And it will just be me, you, and our child. Our happy little family⊠That is all I ask for.â Meng Yao cannot help but say through the pain. He thinks he will die here. Despite being grateful for Lan Xichenâs love, Meng Yao cannot help but feel regretful. All his life, he had desired for a family. Although his mother tried to give him the feeling of one, there was a lot she could not do as a single mother and a courtesan. And although heâs lucky to find a partner he wants to have a family with, this wish still could not come true.
 âA-YaoâŠâ Lan Xichen is filled with emotions he could not name. He wants to say something, to shout something, to do something. But before he could do anything, Meng Yao faints from the pain.
 --
 When Meng Yao comes to a few days later, he is in a foreign tent with Lan Xichen lying beside him, fingers interlaced.
 Sensing that Meng Yao is awake, Lan Xichen immediately opens his eyes to look at him. âA-Yao⊠Youâre awakeâŠâ
 âWhere am I? What happened?â Meng Yao asks, trying to sit up but the pain in his back makes him flinch and fall back down.
 âDonât move,â Lan Xichen says softly, combing Meng Yaoâs hair back. âA-YaoâŠâ
 Meng Yao waits for Lan Xichen but the other those not continue. Instead, they stay quiet, basking in each otherâs presence. Lan Xichen gently encircles Meng Yao in his arms, careful not to disturb his injuries. Lan Xichen then buries his face in Meng Yaoâs neck breathing in deeply, wanting to engrave Meng Yaoâs scent into his mind. Although Meng Yao is a little confused, he indulges in Lan Xichen, taking in the otherâs scent as well.
 Lan Xichen wishes that this moment will not end. He only wants to be here, in bed with Meng Yao in his arms. But as a general, Lan Xichen had responsibilities. He could not be stubborn and wilful. Getting Nie Mingjue to let Meng Yao go was the most he could do at this point. Although Nie Mingjue thought that Lan Xichen is too naïve and benevolent, he also trusted that Lan Xichen would not have told Meng Yao any military secrets. And although he did not trust Meng Yao, Nie Mingjue had felt that Meng Yao was sincere in his feelings for Lan Xichen. And because Nie Mingjue did not want to distract or offend his best general in the midst of war, he eventually agreed to let Meng Yao go.
 And so, when Meng Yao wakes up again the next day, Lan Xichen is off to the battlefield, leaving his two confidants behind. The two confidants grew up with Lan Xichen and were his personal bodyguards. Hence, they listened only to Lan Xichenâs orders are were not part of the military.
 âMeng gongzi, Young Master Lan has ordered us to bring you back to the capital,â The confidants tell Meng Yao. And from them, Meng Yao learns that Lan Xichen has convinced Nie Mingjue to let him go. Lan Xichen had wanted the confidants to bring Meng Yao back safely to their home in the capital and to serve Meng Yao from now on. Lan Xichen also prepared a large amount of money for Meng Yao, wanting him to live freely. Meng Yao knows that this is supposed to be his âbreaking-up feeâ. Meng Yao laughs and laughs, until tears start to fall. He knows that Lan Xichen wants the best for him, and this is what Lan Xichen thought is best. And indeed, considering the circumstances, this is the best Meng Yao can hope for. Yet, Meng Yao cannot help but feel resentful. At this point in time, Meng Yao would rather have died than have to live alone, knowing that Lan Xichen will one day marry a woman and have a family with her.
 Taking the money, Meng Yao tells the confidants to stay behind.
 âBut Meng gongzi, Young Master Lan has ordered us to serve you from now on.â
 âThat means you should listen to what I say. I and say that you should stay here and protect General Lan. I know you both are loyal to General Lan. Stay here and protect him. Thatâs all I want. With this money, I can make it on my own. Iâm not a poor weak woman, you know?â
 In the end, the confidants are convinced by Meng Yao. After all, they are Lan Xichenâs confidants and would rather protect Lan Xichen than Meng Yao.
 --
 The war continues without any more incidents.
 One night, after many months of stalemate, Nie Mingjue sneaks into the Wen Empireâs fort. However, he is soon caught, along with some of the other soldiers that came with him. Dragged into the main tent, they see a familiar face beside the Wen militaryâs commander.
 âMeng! Yao!â Nie Mingjue growls through bared teeth. âYou were a spy after all!â
 âHahaha! Is this the short-tempered commander you told me about?â The Wen military commander laughs.
 âMeng Yao! I should have killed you!â Nie Mingjue shouts, filled with anger and regret as he struggles against his bindings.
 âAhâŠâ Meng Yao smiles as he sees familiar faces in the soldiers caught along with Nie Mingjue. Turning to the Wen military commander, he asks, âI see some people I have enmity with. Can I?â
 âGo ahead. Show me your loyalty.â The Wen military commander replies, giving Meng Yao a sword.
 âYou only have yourselves to blame for this,â Meng Yao says, looking at the soldiers who had tried to force themselves on him those months ago, causing him to be separated from Lan Xichen. Then, swiftly, Meng Yao kills them.
 âHahahahaha! You have done well, Meng Yao. I shall reward you accordingly. And now, for the little commander, I shall kill you myself!â The Wen military commander proclaims, picking up his own sword. And as he lifts his sword to kill Nie Mingjue, Meng Yao takes the opportunity to stab the Wen military commander in the back, killing him.
 This causes a mess to break out. The other Wen Empire soldiers immediately pick up their swords, ready to kill when a messenger enters the tent to claim that they have been surrounded by the Yi Empire soldiers. Then, the messenger is killed as Lan Xichen forces his way into the tent. A fight breaks out and Lan Xichen fights to make his way to Meng Yaoâs side. Quickly entering the tent after Lan Xichen, Nie Huaisang manages to duke his way towards Nie Mingjue and untie his bindings. Upon being freed, Nie Mingjue picks up a sword, moving forward to kill Meng Yao.
 But Nie Mingjue is not the only one who wants to kill Meng Yao. After Meng Yao killed their commander, the other Wen Empire soldiers also sought for revenge. With his small and lithe body, Meng Yao is able to escape most swords. In this time, Lan Xichen finally makes his way to Meng Yao.
 âCommander Nie! Donât hurt A-Yao! Heâs the one whose been sending information to us! Heâs on our side!â Lan Xichen shouts, trying to stop Nie Mingjue from trying to kill Meng Yao. âSee? He even killed the Wen military commander!â
 âIt does not matter! Heâs killed my soldiers! And not just once!â Nie Mingjue shouts.
 âThis is war! Killing is expected!â
 âBut not killing soldiers on your own side!â Unwilling to listen to Lan Xichenâs defences, Nie Mingjue stabs towards Meng Yao.
 Lan Xichen wants to use his own sword to block Nie Mingjue, but he sees another sword coming towards Meng Yao. Having used up a lot of energy duking through the other swords, Meng Yao feels like he cannot escape this time. Then, a body covers him. Lan Xichen has used his body to try to save Meng Yao.
 But it was of no use, because the sword is long enough to pierce through them both. Falling onto their knees, connected by a sword, Lan Xichen weakly embraces Meng Yao.
 âA-YaoâŠâ Lan Xichen whispers gently, and Meng Yao can feel just how preciously Lan Xichen sees him.
 Tears begin to feel Meng Yaoâs eyes. âWhy are you so silly? Why did you save me?â
 âBecause I love you,â Lan Xichen replies, ignoring the pain that comes from the sword moving through him as he moves closer to hold on to Meng Yao tighter.
 âYour love is enough for me to be satisfied.â Meng Yao smiles through the tears, laughing lightly but the movement causes him to flinch in pain.
 âDoes it hurt?â Lan Xichen asks, the worry and loss of blood causing him to ask such an obvious question.
 âThis is nothing,â Meng Yao comforts the other. Jokingly he says, âI can handle your sword piercing through me. This is nothing in comparison.â
 Lan Xichen smiles helplessly at that. âIâve missed youâŠâ
 âIâve missed your sword,â Meng Yao replies cheekily, feeling light-headed. Meng Yao does not know why, but he wants only wants to lighten Lan Xichenâs mood.
 âA-Yao⊠I have so much regrets. I donât want to die yet.â Lan Xichenâs words cause Meng Yaoâs heart to clench in pain, thinking that Lan Xichen regrets trying to save him. But Lan Xichenâs next few words quickly soothes Meng Yaoâs soul. âI should never have let you go. I should have insisted on marrying you. I⊠I should have protected you better. A-Yao⊠Even though Iâve failed you, would you be willing to be with me in our next life?â
 âYesâŠâ Meng Yao says, feeling dizzy with happiness and due to the blood loss.
 âA-Yao⊠In this life, Iâm grateful to have met you, to love you. Yet, I couldnât protect you, couldnât marry you, couldnât grow old with you. I gave you up for the battlefield. In my next life, I will not make the same mistakes. I will take off my armour, and protect only you. Even if I have to betray the rest of the world, I will never let you go or let you down again. In my next life, I will throw away everything, and only love you.â Lan Xichen swears.
 Meng Yao cries, deeply moved. âSilly⊠If you throw away everything, how are you going to protect me? Iâm very ambitious, you know? I want to have a lot of money, high status, have everyone look up to me⊠Everything I did not have in this life, I want them all. I want to show those who looked down on me how wrong they are. If you donât have anything but love, then how are you going to give me what I want?â
 âI⊠I will do everything I can to give you what you want!â Lan Xichen proclaims anxiously.
 Meng Yao smiles weakly, energy draining. Just as everything turns black, Meng Yao whispers, âAll I want is you.â
 âA-Yao? A-Yao?â Lan Xichen calls when Meng Yaoâs head falls lifelessly onto his shoulders. When Meng Yao does not respond, Lan Xichen smiles gently, kissing the top of his head. âGoodnight, A-Yao. Dream of me as Iâll dream of you.â
 --
 When the battle ends and their bodies are found, the soldiers could not separate Lan Xichen and Meng Yaoâs bodies because of how tightly they were holding each other when they died.
 âBury them together,â Lan Wangji says to the soldiers. Then squatting next to his brotherâs dead body, he says, âMay you and sister⊠No. May you and brother-in-law be happy together in your next life.â
Lan Xichen and Meng Yao meet again in the place where everything ended, the little Guanyin temple in Yunmeng.
Lan Xichen never had much interest in old buildings and tourist spots. But when he hears that an old Guanyin temple in Yunmeng that was uncovered years ago has been restored and open for visitation, Lan Xichen feels an impulse to go there.
 But when Lan Xichen stands in front of the restored statue in the temple, his chest starts clenching tightly and he could not breathe. But Lan Xichen does not notice the state that he is in, having been caught in a trance. Images flash before his eyes as voices echo in his ears. He sees large doe eyes filled with trust and admiration, then the same eyes filling with disbelief and betrayal. He hears a warm gentle voice softly saying âEr-Geâ, and the same voice filling with desperation as it claims âI never thought of hurting youâ. Lan Xichen smells a brief light fragrance, sweet but not overwhelmingly so. Then it is overpowered by the thick metallic smell of blood that seeps into his clothes and his skin, unable to be ever washed away.
 âAre you alright?â A familiar voice chimes from beside Lan Xichenâs ear, bringing him back to reality. Whipping his head around to see the source of the voice, Lan Xichen meets familiar large doe eyes.
 âYeahâŠâ Lan Xichen says, voice rough and thick with emotion. Tears begin to fill Lan Xichenâs eyes, getting both him and the other person flustered.
 âI⊠What...â Meng Yao anxiously looks around at a loss, not knowing why this handsome man is suddenly crying. Taking out a packet of tissue, Meng Yao passes it to the crying man.
 But instead of taking the packet of tissue, Lan Xichen hugs Meng Yao instead, head leaning on the shorter manâs shoulder. Immediately, Meng Yao is covered by a familiar clean scent, and he feels his own eyes filling with tears. Meng Yaoâs chest feels stuffy, filled with mixed emotions of joy and happiness yet sadness and anger.
 âIâm sorryâŠâ Lan Xichen mutters repeatedly, and the words seem to encourage Meng Yaoâs tears. Lan Xichen does not know if heâs apologising solely for randomly hugging a stranger, but he knows that he has owed the other these words for a long time. Crying in each otherâs arms, Lan Xichen and Meng Yao do not notice the whispers and judging looks directed their way.
 When they cried until their eyes are finally dry, they both feel a weight lift from their shoulders, forgotten shackles being removed.
 âUhm⊠Sorry for just crying and hugging you so suddenly like that.â Lan Xichen apologises, voice hoarse from all the crying and repeated apologies. âIâm Lan Xichen. Can I treat you to some coffee as an apology for that?â
 Meng Yaoâs cheeks flush a faint pink as he shyly nods. âSure... Iâm Meng Yao.â
 --
 The two do not get coffee. Instead, both ordered tea. Chatting happily, they both find that they have many things in common. After tea, they both naturally go on a movie date, leaning in close to one another. And if they happened to kiss in the darkness of the cinema and go home with a boyfriend, neither have any complaints.
 Even though it may seem strange how quickly they got together, they both donât question it. Because there is a voice in their heart telling them that this is an opportunity for them to make up for past regrets. This time, they would follow their hearts, and their hearts are yearning for each other.
#1: Do a meta-analysis on all relevant resource material on confessing
#2: Do not use mainstream roses
#3: Avoid cockblocks (aka Xue Yang) *IMPORTANT
#4: NEVER GIVE UP **IMPORTANT
âWangji⊠How did you confess to Wei Wuxian?â Lan Xichen randomly asks his younger brother one day.
 ââŠâ Lan Wangji does not say a word but by the 1% reddening of the tips of his ears, Lan Xichen could tell that Lan Wangji is embarrassed.
 âAhahaha⊠Big bro! Do you think Lan Zhan will ever confess? Of course, it was me who did!â Wei Wuxian laughs, popping out of nowhere.
 âAh⊠Then how did you confess to Wangji?â Lan Xichen asks Wei Wuxian.
 âOf course, I- Mmmp!!!â Before Wei Wuxian could answer, Lan Wangji had covered his mouth with his hands, ears reddening obviously now. Flailing around his arms, Wei Wuxian tries to escape Lan Wangjiâs grasps.
 âWhy does big brother want to know?â Lan Wangji asks, not wanting to let Wei Wuxian tell his brother about their confession scene.
 This time, it is Lan Xichenâs cheeks that flush pink. Scratching the back of his ear nervously, Lan Xichen admits, âThereâs someone I want to confess toâŠâ
 âAh!â Wei Wuxian finally manages to break free. âBig bro! You finally have worldly desires! Who is this special person who managed to finally move the heart of the worldâs most eligible bachelor?â
 âI⊠I will introduce him to you all when he agrees to my confessionâŠâ Lan Xichen replies, uncharacteristically shy. âBut I kind of need help confessingâŠâ
 âWell then, I donât think referencing my confession will do you any good, big bro. It kind of depends on the situation. You see, Lan Zhan and I are schoolmates and we were already friends. But youâre the CEO of the countryâs largest corporation and I donât know who the other is and how well you know each other. But regardless, you need a confession befitting your status as a rich CEO.â Wei Wuxian replies, a sly smile appearing briefly on his face. Only Lan Wangji who knows Wei Wuxian very well notices.
 âWei YingâŠâ Lan Wangji warns. Although he would usually indulge in Wei Wuxianâs mischief, this concerned his actual blood-related brother after all.
 Understanding Lan Wangjiâs concern, Wei Wuxian pats Lan Wangjiâs back to tell him not to worry. âOf course, since I myself donât understand your situation, I have a few books you can reference. Iâll send you the links!â
 When Lan Xichen clicks on the links to find books titled  âThe Overbearing President Falls in Love with Meâ, âThe Overbearing Presidentâs Runaway Wifeâ, âThe Overbearing Presidentâs Little Pampered Wifeâ, and other similarly titled books, he is a little hesitant. However, deciding to make every possible effort, Lan Xichen reads the books anyway.
 --
 After reading all the books, Lan Xichen uses an Excel Spreadsheet to make a meta-analysis of all the books. Looking through his analysis, Lan Xichen feels conflicted. The most common method in the books is also very cringey, while the least common is the most acceptable. Moreover, the latter is also very plain and boring. Thinking about the soft and gentle smile and deep dimples, Lan Xichen decides to go with the latter. Because even if that failed, Lan Xichen is sure that he will not be repulsed by the other.
 The next day, Lan Xichen buys a single red rose and goes to the production location of Meng Yaoâs latest drama.
 âAh! Mr Lan! Welcome!â The director happily walks up to greet Lan Xichen. After all, Lan Xichen is the dramaâs biggest investor.
 Lan Xichen gives a nod in response. âWhere is Meng Yao?â
 âAh⊠It is not yet his time for filming so Meng Yao is in his waiting room. Let me bring you there!â The director answers enthusiastically, secretly thinking that Lan Xichen must be Meng Yaoâs âsponsorâ. In the entertainment industry, it is not uncommon for celebrities to find themselves âsponsorsâ or âsugar daddiesâ who would give them better opportunities in return for their âtimeâ.
 Of course, it is not only the director who thought that Lan Xichen is Meng Yaoâs âsponsorâ. The other actors that are on scene also thought so. Immediately, many of these actors became sour with jealousy. Lan Xichen is not only very wealthy, but also young and handsome. Unlike most âsponsorsâ who were old and slimy, Lan Xichen is very desirable. However, despite many attempts to climb into Lan Xichenâs bed, no one has ever succeeded. Hence, they became very salty, thinking that Meng Yao actually succeeded in climbing Lan Xichenâs bed.
 Oblivious to what is happening outside, Meng Yao was chatting with his best frenemy, Xue Yang, when Lan Xichen enters the waiting room. Lan Xichen did not expect anyone else other than Meng Yao to be there. Nonetheless, he  gathers up his courage, presenting Meng Yao with the rose.
 âAh Yao⊠I like y-â Before Lan Xichen can confess, he is interrupted.
 âAh! Whatâs this? Just a normal red rose? And only one? Sigh⊠So mainstream⊠What a lack of sincerity!â Xue Yang drawls as he snatches the rose out of Lan Xichenâs hands. Sniffing the rose, Xue Yang adds, âBah⊠Smells terrible too.â
 Not waiting for Meng Yao to reject him, Lan Xichen immediately bows his head and apologises. âI⊠I will do better! Give me another chance! Wait for me!â
 With that, Lan Xichen leaves. Sighing, Meng Yao turns to give Xue Yang a deadpan stare. This is why Xue Yang is his frenemy and not his friend.
 âWhat?! Come on, shorty. Just a normal rose? And youâre going to accept it? Itâs the most stereotypical and standard flower for confessing. And itâs not even 99 roses! Just one! And heâs supposedly the most eligible bachelor! Iâm doing this for your own good. You deserve much better.â Xue Yang defends.
 Rolling his eyes, Meng Yao grabs the rose out of Xue Yangâs hands. He knows that Xue Yang just found enjoyment in watching Lan Xichen awkward attempts to chase him. Smelling the rose, Meng Yao smiles happily, heart beating fast in his chest.
 Xue Yang watches as his friendâs cheeks redden, shaking his head and sighing. Honestly, both of them know that Meng Yao also enjoyed Lan Xichenâs awkward wooing. While Xue Yangâs enjoyment came from pure amusement, Meng Yaoâs enjoyment came from the feeling of being loved. Being brought up by a single mom who died early, Meng Yao had grown up lacking love. And so, despite Lan Xichenâs awkward actions, Meng Yao could sense the love and it made him happy. Hence, Meng Yao did not want to accept Lan Xichen so quickly. He is also afraid that once they start dating, Lan Xichen would spend less time and effort on him, or that Lan Xichenâs feelings for him will slowly disappear. Because that was what happened to Meng Yaoâs mother, Meng Shi.
 Meng Shi had easily agreed to his father, Jin Guangshanâs confession. But Jin Guangshan is a jerk with a perfect façade. Meng Shi had fallen for Jin Guangshanâs façade, thinking that this was a chivalrous loving gentleman. However, Jin Guangshan is a jerk who likes playing around, quickly losing interest in Meng Shi who he had chased with ease. If Jin Guangshan could abandon the pregnant Meng Shi so easily, Meng Yao is afraid that he would make the same mistake as Meng Shi in trusting a lie. Hence, Meng Yao decides to wait out to see Lan Xichenâs sincerity. And even if Lan Xichen ever gets tired of him, Meng Yao feels like at least he has the memories of being loved and wooed.
 --
 That night, when Lan Xichen returned from the filming location, he began to evaluate where he went wrong. Firstly, from Xue Yangâs reminder, Lan Xichen decides that normal red roses are too mainstream. Next, he needed to ensure that there is no source of interruption. However, Lan Xichen is rather confused. Giving flowers was the least common method of confessing from his meta-analysis of the books, so why is it considered mainstream? Deciding to ask Wei Wuxian for help, Lan Xichen learns from Wei Wuxian that flowers were mainstream for ordinary people. Rich and powerful CEOs had different standards, so purely giving flowers was not common. After all, flowers did not show off their wealth, power and ability to care for and protect their significant other.
 However, looking at the other possible options, Lan Xichen feels like he has no hope. The other methods seem a bit too wild and out of his own character. Some are against his own morals and probably illegal too, such as such using drugs or alcohol. Others seemed to be humiliating rather than confessing to the other, like offering to be their âsponsorâ. Meng Yao is strong, smart and hard-working, and definitely would not accept short-cuts like getting a âsponsorâ. Then, there are biologically impossible methods, such as getting the other pregnant. Lan Xichenâs brain went dead for a long while when he was first introduced to the idea of mpreg. Shaking his head at all these less âmainstreamâ methods, Lan Xichen decides that mainstream was better than hurting his world views.
 --
 A week later, Lan Xichen plans for a romantic dinner at a restaurant that had a contract with his company, convincing Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to help by playing the ambient music there. Of course, Lan Xichen does not forget to reserve the entire restaurant. Not only was this because it is âexpected of a CEO to show off his wealthâ, but also because Meng Yao is a celebrity and it would not be good if they are caught by fans or the paparazzi.
 Communicating with Meng Yaoâs manager, Lan Xichen comes to the filming location as Meng Yao end his work for the day. Seeing that Meng Yao is alone, Lan Xichen quickly invites the other out for dinner.
 Seeing Lan Xichenâs look of anticipation, Meng Yao agrees. Fist bumping himself in his mind, Lan Xichen beams brightly, thinking that heâs at least succeeded 20%. But just then, he hears the same dreaded languid voice popping out of nowhere.
 âAiyah⊠Iâm also very hungryâŠâ Xue Yang complains, swinging and arm over Meng Yaoâs back. âMr Lan, you wonât mind if I join yâall?â
 For once in his life, Lan Xichen feels like cussing. However, his upbringing makes Lan Xichen smile and generously agree.
 âWhat would you like to eat?â Lan Xichen asks, passing Meng Yao the menu when they reach the restaurant.
 âOooh⊠Look at all the dessert!â Xue Yang says, not allowing Meng Yao to respond. âAye⊠Look at this crĂšme caramel pudding, shorty! It looks just like you!â
 Although Lan Xichen did not want to agree with this cockblocker, he could not help but agree with that observation. For a brief moment, Lan Xichen wonders if Meng Yao would taste as soft and sweet as the pudding. Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Lan Xichen returns to a reality where Xue Yang takes every opportunity to stop him from talking to Meng Yao.
 At the end of the day, Lan Xichen can only comfort himself by eating a crÚme caramel pudding for dessert, wishing that he had the person rather than the dessert.
 --
 After this failed attempt, Lan Xichen feels lost. He isnât sure what other options he should choose. Having personally seen the main cause of Lan Xichenâs failure, Wei Wuxian suggests writing a confession letter. Although it is very not âCEO-likeâ, at least it is less likely to be hindered by Xue Yang. However, Lan Xichen does not know what to write in the letter, other than âI like you, please go out with meâ. However, before Lan Xichen could slowly evaluate what to write, he gets busy with work as a problem comes up. And so, for the next whole month, Meng Yao does not see or hear from Lan Xichen.
 âCome on, shorty. Lighten up! Itâs just a guy, no need to get down. His sincerity is only like that. Get rejected twice and heâs already given up. Thereâs no point getting upset over a jerk.â Xue Yang comforts a sad Meng Yao. Meng Yao had thought that he was prepared. In the first week of no contact, Meng Yao was still confident that Lan Xichen was preparing for another confession. In the second week, his confidence had dwindled, but he also felt like it was expected. In the third week, Meng Yao had already given up. By as the month passed, Meng Yao was suddenly hit by disappointment. After all, he really liked Lan Xichen. Even though they did not know each other for a long time, Meng Yao felt like his future is linked with the other, just as their past is. Even though it is crazy and illogical, Meng Yao feels like thereâs a red string of fate tying them together, a promise from another life that allowed their encounter in this life. It was one of the reasons why Meng Yao believed that Lan Xichen will continue to chase him even after being interrupted from confessing a couple of times.
 And so, when Lan Xichen did not appear again in his life for a month, Meng Yao felt betrayed. Shaking his head, Meng Yao thinks that he is a fool, just like his mother. Men are just large pig trotters that cannot be trusted.
 âDonât worry, shorty. If he comes to the filming wrap-up dinner tonight, Iâll punch him for you.â Xue Yang promises, causing Meng Yao to roll his eyes. Nonetheless, it comforts Meng Yao. At least, he still had a friend.
 However, when they get to the restaurant for the wrap-up dinner, they do not see Lan Xichen. Disappointed, Meng Yao uncharacteristically indulges in the alcohol, accepting whenever the other investors of the drama offered him drinks. Given Meng Yaoâs beauty and disposition, he should not be drinking so much in such a place, because there are many investors who would force themselves on the celebrities, and Meng Yao was like a lamb surrounded by a group of wolves. However, Meng Yao is feeling desolate, and he also trusted Xue Yang. Before Xue Yang was adopted by the Xiao family, they both stayed in a foster home together. And even after Xue Yang was adopted, they still stayed in close contact. Although not as powerful as the Lan family, the Xiao family is still one of the most influential families, allowing Xue Yang to be wilful in the entertainment industry. And as Xue Yangâs close friends, most people know not to mess with Meng Yao too. Especially not directly.
 Of course, there are always people who are crafty and not afraid to die. When Meng Yao drunkenly goes to the toilet, one of the investors follow along, attempting to take advantage of Meng Yaoâs drunkenness. The investor came from a wealthy family as well, and he did not believe that the Xiao family will go against his family just for an adopted sonâs friend.
 âHehe⊠Little Meng Yao. Do you think that brat Xue Yang can save you?â The slimy investor mocks as he raises an arm to trap Meng Yao against the wall.
 Meng Yao narrows his eyes, anger seeping out those normally gentle large doe eyes. âGet the fuck off me, you filthy pig.â
 The insult makes the investor grin. âHahahaha. Feisty little vixen. Always acting so sweet and innocent when youâre actually a filthy slut. You can seduce any man with just a look. Everyone thinks youâre a pure flower when Iâm sure youâve already slept with a thousand man. Instead of serving that brat Xue Yang, why donât you come warm my bed instead? Xue Yang is only a child, but I am a man. I can definitely satisfy you better.â
 Meng Yao wants to puke. Normally, Meng Yao would smile and try to talk his way out without offending anyone. Learning to please the people around him was how Meng Yao learned to survive in this harsh world. Although others will mock him for being a yes man and people pleaser, at least it is limited to only these insults. At least, it allowed him to have so-called âfriendsâ who would talk to him and involve him in their activities. Before Meng Yao learned how to survive in this world, he had been bullied in school, the target for everyoneâs pranks and frustrations. All because he had a single mom, then, because he was an orphan. They would call him nasty things, such as a bearer of ill-luck that was so terrible that his father did not want him and that caused his mother to die. And because he did not have parents who would call the school and protect him, the teachers did not care, some even joining in picking on him. And so, Meng Yao had to learn to survive by being a people pleaser. If you stroked their ego, they were less likely to insult you and be more willing to accept you. After all, by keeping Meng Yao around, they got someone who would routinely raise their self-confidence.
 However, at this point in time, not only is Meng Yao drunk, but he is also angry because of Lan Xichenâs disappearance. Seeing the slimy investor in front of him, Meng Yao only feels like the other is a perfect outlet for his frustrations. Throwing a fist, Meng Yao punches the slimy investorâs nose. And despite his small frame, Meng Yao had a lot of strength in those arms, having learnt martial arts to protect himself in times of emergency. Shocked by Meng Yaoâs punch, the investor clutches his nose, feeling blood under his palms.
 âYou want to do this the hard way? Fine! Donât regret this!â The investor shouts, enraged. Meng Yao tries to escape the otherâs clutches, but the alcohol made it difficult for him to fight. The only reason why he managed to punch the other the first time was because the other was not prepared. The investor grabbed Meng Yaoâs chin, forcing Meng Yaoâs head up to look him in the eye before leaning in to force a kiss. Meng Yao feels like his bones were cracking under that hand, struggling futilely. Being unable to escape, Meng Yao desperately clenches his mouth tight. And since he closed his eyes, he did not see as the slimy investor is pulled off him and thrown into another wall.
 Opening his eyes in confusion at the loss of the pressure on his chin, Meng Yao sees a familiar person with an unfamiliar look of fury. Meng Yao stares entranced as Lan Xichen repeatedly punches the slimy investor, his drunken haze preventing him from thinking. It is only when he notices that the investor has stopped moving that Meng Yao snaps out of his trance, running forward to stop Lan Xichen from beating up the other man any more.
 âLet me beat him! This filthy bastard! Iâll kill him!â Lan Xichen shouts angrily, struggling to free his hand from Meng Yao without hurting the latter.
 âEnough! Any more and heâs really going to die!â Meng Yao exclaims.
 âGood,â Lan Xichen replies calmly, voice cold and unfeeling. Lan Xichen is going to use his other, non-dominant hand when he hears Meng Yao groaning in discomfort. âAh Yao! Whatâs wrong? Are you okay?â
 Shaking his head, Meng Yao rushes into the toilet, puking into the toilet bowl. Lan Xichen follows behind, helping Meng Yao comb his hair away from his face and gently patting his back to soothe him. After puking the contents of his stomach out, Meng Yao leans tiredly against the cubicle wall, staring scornfully at Lan Xichen.
 Seeing Meng Yaoâs eyes filled with anger and disappointment, Lan Xichen gets anxious. But seeing Lan Xichenâs flustered expression, Meng Yao softens, quietly whispering, âIâve been waitingâŠâ
 âI⊠Iâm sorry⊠There was a problem at work and I wanted to make sure Iâve prepared to make my next confession before we met soâŠâ Lan Xichen tries to explain.
 âSo youâre ready to confess now?â Meng Yao asks, eyes brightening in anticipation.
 âYeah⊠I rushed down here after finishing up my work. And I also wrote you a letter in case your friend interrupts again⊠And⊠I also bought you peonies⊠ Because they mean completeness, wealth, auspiciousness and happiness, and these are what I want to give to you.â Lan Xichen says, voice serious.
 Meng Yao feels his heart skip a beat. Completeness, wealth, auspiciousness and happiness⊠These are all the things that Meng Yao wants. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness following his motherâs death, the tireless days of working nonstop for money, the insults of being a bearer of ill-luck, and the pain and sadness of struggling through life alone⊠All of that seemed to disappear with Lan Xichenâs words, causing tears to fill Meng Yaoâs eyes.
 âWhatâs wrong? Did I say something wrong?â Lan Xichen asks worriedly when he sees Meng Yao start to cry.
 Shaking his head furiously, Meng Yao sniffles, forcing himself not to cry. âSo where are these flowers and the letter?â
 âAh! I dropped them when I saw you being corneredâŠâ Lan Xichen suddenly recalls, anxiously standing up to find the said items.
 Seeing Lan Xichenâs response, Meng Yao laughs happily. Pulling Lan Xichenâs hand to stop him from leaving, Meng Yao says, âI like you⊠Please go out with me.â
 Lan Xichenâs eyes widen comically at Meng Yaoâs confession, quickly squatting back down to stare into Meng Yaoâs eyes, trying to ensure that he understood correctly. Smiling deeply, Meng Yao wraps his hands around Lan Xichenâs neck, meeting the otherâs gaze.
 âCan I kiss you?â Lan Xichen asks excitedly.
 âIf you donât mind the taste of puke,â Meng Yao laughs. Meng Yao did not expect it, but Lan Xichen leans in to kiss him anyway. After a long make-out session, Lan Xichen finally lets go of Meng Yaoâs lips, both panting hard for air. Meng Yaoâs face is flushed a deep red, both from the lack of air and from embarrassment. âNow youâre just going to remember that our first kiss tastes like puke!â
 âThatâs not true. Ah Yao is sweet.â Lan Xichen grins mischievously, watching with delight as Meng Yaoâs cheeks deepen in colour. Shyly avoiding Lan Xichenâs eyes, Meng Yao pushes the other way, making to stand up.
 âWell then, all I tasted was puke so let me go wash out my mouth!â Meng Yao complains softly. But when Meng Yao walks out of the cubicle, he sees Xue Yang watching them with amusement, Lan Xichenâs letter and flowers in hand. Lan Xichen also catches sight of Xue Yang, immediately wondering if the other has some kind of sensor for whenever he confesses to Meng Yao. At the very least, Lan Xichen is grateful that Xue Yang did not cockblock him again this time.
 âCongrats, shorty. I dealt with that unconscious filth outside by the way.â Xue Yang grins.
 âThank you,â Lan Xichen replies sincerely, taking the letter and flowers from Xue Yang.
 âYou look like a freshly cooked prawn by the way,â Xue Yang turns to tell Meng Yao, mirth seeping through his voice.
 âFuck off!â Meng Yao shouts, turning the tap on so as to drown out Xue Yangâs voice.
 âAnd you, if you ever hurt that little shorty, Iâll kill you and your entire family.â Xue Yang warns Lan Xichen quietly, eyes sharp and serious. Lan Xichen nods gravely, swearing to Xue Yang.
 He will protect and love Meng Yao forever, and will never once doubt or betray Meng Yao. Lan Xichen swore this with his life.
When Meng Yao's mother gets injured, Meng Yao goes in search for a mythical creature who would help
Once upon a time, there lived a little fox spirit1 named Meng Yao. Meng Yao lived with his mother, a fox demon2, Meng Shi, on a mountain with many fellow fox demons. From a young age, Meng Yao would hear his mother tell him stories about the human world below the mountains, and about his father, a chivalrous and handsome human. Meng Yao never got tired of these stories, eager to grow up into a fox demon so that he too could transform into a human and explore the human world. Meng Yao also often wondered about his father, wondering when he could see this man that has his mother so mesmerised. Sometimes, Meng Yao would also wonder why his father is not around, but he never dared ask his mother, for fear of erasing the smile on her face. Because when the other fox demons mock Meng Shi for her fixation with his father, Meng Yao sees the hurt on her face.
âThe only way to gain a humanâs heart is to eat it,â The other fox demons said. âThere is no such thing as love for a fox demon.â
One day, Meng Shi decides to go down the mountain in search of her love. All these years, she had never searched for the man because of Meng Yao. As Meng Yao is still a little fox spirit who had the form of a fox, Meng Shi could not bring Meng Yao up in the human world. And so, instead, Meng Shi had a promise with her love to meet once a year in the inn where they met. But the man never appeared again. Meng Shi insisted that there must have been something that prevented him from fulfilling their promise. That day, a fox demon had suggested that she looked for the man.
âMaybe,â The fox demon said, âHe got injured ad could not move.â
Suddenly thinking that her love may be in trouble, Meng Shi decided to look for him. Meng Yao wanted to follow, but he could not camouflage himself in the human world, having no choice but to stay in the mountains. Instead, a few of the other fox demons who loved to gossip and mock Meng Shi followed along.
Meng Yao never regretted anything as much as not stopping his mother that day. In turned out that the man was already long married to the daughter of a high-ranking official. In order to âproveâ that he did not cheat on his wife years back, the man had beaten Meng Shi when she had found their home and asked him why he had forsaken her. As if beating her was not enough, the man feared that she would return again to cause trouble. And so, he bought assassins to kill her. As a fox demon, it is not so easy to kill Meng Shi. But nonetheless, Meng Shi became heavily injured.
Meng Shi was dying, and Meng Yao felt his world fall apart.
To save his mother, Meng Yao set foot out of the mountain he called home in search for help.
The first person Meng Yao searches for is whom he considers to be one of the most powerful creatures because he is the most feared.
âHello, the great qiongqi3. My mother is gravely injured. I ask for your greatness to help save my mother.â Meng Yao pleads, bowing deeply to the beast before him.
The beast laughs and the ground shakes, âWhat a fool! I am a fiend! A monster! I kill and destroy, hurt and harm. I commit evil, not help people! What an idiot! No wonder you fox spirits are such lowly creatures.â
Ashamed, Meng Yao leaves. He had indeed been foolish. He had only looked at their ability, but not at their willingness. But Meng Yao isnât sure who would help, because all the âgoodâ creatures saw fox demons as evil, and were more likely to kill than help.
However, there was not enough time for Meng Yao to slowly contemplate who would help. Suddenly, a thought comes to his mind. Searching in the sky is faster than searching on the ground, especially since he will have a wider view of his options. And so, Meng Yao travels up to the skies.
There, he first meets the heavenly dog4. âThe great heavenly dog! Can you help me?â
The heavenly dog huffs. âA dirty lowly creature like you dares ask a heavenly creature like me? Be grateful that I do not break your legs for contaminating my place!â
Next, Meng Yao finds the vermillion bird5. Learning that he should probably first give a good impression before asking for help, Meng Yao praises, âWhat beautiful plumage you have!â
Ego stroked, the vermillion bird smirks, showing off his multi-coloured plumage happily. âYou have pleased me. I shall grant you a wish.â
Hope sparking in his heart, Meng Yao pleads for the vermillion bird to save his mother. But before he could complete his sentence, the vermillion bird gets distracted, flying off to save a lamb from a lion. Seeing the vermillion bird flashing his plumage around the lamb, Meng Yao knows that he has been forgotten, the fox spirit going off to search for someone else to help. At least, Meng Yao thinks, he now knows how to best ask for help.
But somehow, the love goddess seemed to be against him, as he is once again hindered by the other creatures mating or attempting to mate. Because when he reaches the moon, he walks into the âdaily activitiesâ of the jade rabbit6 and his mate. Understanding that he is not welcomed here, Meng Yao leaves, thinking that maybe it is mating season in the skies. No wonder the single heavenly dog was so moody.
Back onto the ground, Meng Yao meets the xiezhi7. After praising him for his chivalry, Meng Yao tells him about his mother.
âWhere is she?â The xiezhi asks, making a movement for Meng Yao to lead the way.
Joy filling his heart, Meng Yao beams happily. As if he could not believe his success, Meng Yao asks, âCan you save her?â
But contrary to Meng Yaoâs beliefs, the xiezhi huffs angrily. âOf course not! Your mother seduced and harassed a married man! But what can one expect from a fox demon? As a creature of justice, it is my duty to devour all who are wicked!â
âMy mother is not wicked!â Meng Yao protests but to no avail. The xiezhi is a mythical beast that can distinguish good and evil, so whatever he says is futile. Shooting through the forest, Meng Yao shakes the xiezhi off. He could not allow him to go near his mother.
Disheartened, Meng Yao comes to a lake and stares at his own reflection. For a moment, Meng Yao hates that he is a fox spirit. He hates that his mother is a fox demon. They did not choose to be born as such creatures but were forced by fate and circumstance. Although his father had been unfaithful and cheated on his wife, the fault fell on his mother instead, just because she is a fox demon. No matter what they do, they are always in the wrong just because of what they are.
âWhatâs wrong?â A voice comes from behind Meng Yao, clear and beautiful like chimes in the wind. Meng Yao whips around and sees the most spectacular creature he had ever seen.
Meng Yao recognises the creature as a qilin8, a benevolent and powerful creature. Meng Yao has heard stories about the kindness of the qilin, never hurting or harming any living creature. Deciding to take one last gamble, Meng Yao asks for help once more.
âOf course I will help,â The qilin says but Meng Yao does not know if he could trust him. Seeing Meng Yaoâs fear, the qilin breaks off his horn and presents it to Meng Yao. âIâm sure youâve heard that a qilinâs horn is magical. With this, you can cure your mother.â
Surprised with the qilinâs kindness, tears fill Meng Yaoâs eyes. âHow can I ever repay you?â
The qilin smiles kindly. âI did not help you expecting anything in return.â
âBut⊠Your horn is too precious for me to just accept it! We donât even know each other!â
âMy name is Lan Huan,â The qilin says.
âIâm Meng Yao,â Meng Yao responds on reflex.
âThere. We know each other know. Weâre friends now, so it is alright to accept a little gift. Right, A-Yao?â
Meng Yao feels his heart skip a beat and his cheeks flush red. âYâŠYesâŠâ
âAnd since weâre friends, all you have to do to return the favour is to come visit me often. Right?â
âYâŠYesâŠâ
With the qilinâs horn, Meng Yao manages to save his mother. And what resulted from this was a happy ever after for the divine qilin Lan Huan and the âlowlyâ fox spirit Meng Yao.
The End.
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Fox spirit (ççžçČŸ): a mythical fox that has awareness and gains magical energy from the world. Legends say that they can turn into humans when they are 50 y/o.
Fox demon (çćŠ): same as fox spirit but I kind of differentiate them in the sense that the fox demons also suck yang energy from man (vs fox spirits that only suck natural energy from the world)
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