I fell today. In front of 6 men in a tiny office. I fell right off my chair onto the floor. This is not remotely the first time I have taken a tumble before an audience. I once luged down a flight of stairs in a Parisian night club (in front of the boy I had a gigantic crush on - only to find out later he was as gay as the day is long - but that's another story). And, once I slid down a flight of stairs while sailing on a yacht on the Italian Riviera. In both of those instances I was with a group of friends who found it as funny as I did, if not more so. Upon hitting the floor today, a silent laughter rose from my gut and took over my entire body. The only evidence of emotion to the 6 gentlemen staring at me were the tears streaming down my face - which, certainly indicated to them that I was indeed hurt. The more sober and concerned they appeared, the harder I laughed, and the tougher it became to control myself. But, I quickly realized my laughter appeared to be masking the embarrassment they were all feeling for me, and I suddenly became uncomfortable. Still, I kept giggling for the next hour as all I could think of was a constant loop of the expression of fear that must have crossed my face the moment I realized that my chair was in fact not going to hold the weight of my body (also the vision of my mouth agape with the bite of Italian rosemary cookie I had just feasted on and did not have the time to chew). While I appreciate that my co-workers seemed genuinely concerned for my safety, it really took the fun out of the inherently embarrassing experience of a moment of pure clumsiness. I have come to the conclusion that A) there is no such thing as anyone laughing "with" you and B) it is far better to have friends laughing at you, than no one laughing at all.
I lamented aloud that I wished my fall had somehow been caught on video, and I was quickly informed that there happened to be multiple security cameras constantly recording office behavior, and that I may be able to retrieve the footage of my tumble. This is the best news yet.
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