I work at a daycare (which I love because all the kids are so sweet) and I hear some wack stuff because little people (I work with kids from the age of 18 months to 9-ish years old) have zero fucking filter, which turns out to be pretty funny stuff.
Anywhere, here's a collection of things I have heard/have said to the little people.
*A group of kids pretending to be different things for a game they're playing*
6-year-old: I want to be something made up. Like a monster truck.
The kids call me "Miss (my name)" by the way. I also live in the country (yeehaw), so practically everyone in my town works with cattle or has crops.
3 1/2-year-old being dropped off for the day: Look, Miss (my name), I'm wearing my work boots.
Me: You are! They're pretty dirty, were you working with the cows yesterday?
3 1/2-year-old: Yeah ... they're covered in cow shit.
His dad: Hey, we don't say that.
*Playing in the sand box with a group of kids*
3 1/2-year-old (same one as the last one), out of nowhere: I hate kids.
He was the youngest one in the sandbox...
*Peacefully building a toy robot with blocks with a 5-year-old*
*Her little brother (1 1/2) comes over and gestures for the robot*
Me, hands it to him: You wanna play with the robot, buddy?
Me, a moment later: Why are you taking its arms off!?
Me, comes in for my afternoon shift in sweats: Hey, everyone! How was your day?
3 1/2-year-old (same one as before): Miss, (my name), why are you wearing pajamas?
Me: They're pants. They just look like pajamas, but they're not.
3 1/2-year-old: No. Those are pajamas.
Me, working the morning shift in fuzzy pants (THEY ARE NOT PAJAMAS): Morning, (3 1/2-year-old from before), morning (his mom), how're you guys this morning?
His mom: Good. How're you?
3 1/2-year-old: Miss (my name), you have fuzzy pants.
Me: Yes, I do! They're really comfortable.
3 1/2-year-old, comes up to me and hugs my leg, petting my pants like a you would a dog: They're soft.
*Me and his mom share looks of confusion at his actions.*
Me, walking in for my afternoon shift: Hey, everybody!
My director to the 1 1/2-year-old (mentioned previously): We're going outside, but you have to let me change your diaper first.
1 1/2-year-old, walks over to me with a pout on his face:
My director, tired from a long day of being the only one on the floor: Do you want Miss (my name) to do it?
1 1/2-year-old, lifts her arms up to me for uppies:
My director, defeated sigh: Sorry, Miss (my name), but he's been grumpy with me since I woke him up and he won't let me come near him at all.
Me, after being voluntold to change a (possibly) dirty diaper: It's chill. As long as it gets done, right?
I love my director sm guys. She's the best boss.
*Peacefully hanging out with a couple of school kids (5 {mentioned previously} and 8)*
*1 1/2-year-old comes up*
Me, thinks nothing of it:
Me, not even a moment later: DO NOT PUSH YOUR SISTER! DON'T KICK HER EITHER!
Me, after a long day: Don't stick that up your nose, that's not where it goes.
1 1/2-year-old (mentioned previously), pulls his sister's hair:
He literally took a chunk y'all, like it would've hurt.
5-year-old (mentioned previously), starts crying:
Me: Why would you do that!?
I live in a really small town, so a lot of kids came up multiple times because they're at the daycare regularly. Also, these aren't the only things I've heard, so let me know if you guys want to hear more (especially if it's from the 3 1/2-year-old because he's ridiculous).
