Hi! I'm Blackbird, writer, nerd and alleged human. This is my place to share stuff about my stories and just random writing thoughts in general. Mostly star wars
Hiyas! If you wanna read my writings, I'm on AO3 as Blackbird. I mostly just write star wars, for my obsessions and ocs.
Updates Tuesday and Friday. (Just the one chapter a week for now)
For a few of my works (This list keeps expanding):
- Rejoice! For Those Who are one With the Force After the battle of Geonosis, the Jedi refuse to join the war. Qui-Gon sends Anakin goes on a vision quest and chases the Jedi killer Grievous, and Iskat joins a Jedi diplomat as a survivor from Geonosis.
- Resurrection of a Shattered Heart An involuntary inquisitor struggles with her new life, but despite getting tortured into obedience, she can still build a life of her own, together with a squad of Purge Troopers who are looking for peace and safety with her. (a rewrite of my first ever SW fic)
- How a Jedi Falls Hyuna Atax, Jedi knight, rejects the offer to become an inquisitor. She is tortured into obedience and takes up the mantle of Eighteenth Sister. She kills for the empire, but somewhere in there is still the innocent little girl who always wanted to be a Jedi.
- Inquisitor in Jedi Robes Upon her death, Iskat Akaris wakes up in her bed, the day before the first battle of Geonosis. Will she save the Jedi or join the Sith? Or just run away to the home she now knows she has?
- A Golden Blade and Two Golden Hearts Feyra Akaris gets to rejoin the Jedi order, and her daughter, Iskat makes friends.
- Assassin's Guilt A Sith assassin is ordered to kill Padmé Amidala and faces her biggest weakness, someone nice.
- Belay That Order Clones deny order 66 and decide to throw a coup, and its sequel: After That Belayed Order Where a coup gets thrown and certain Jedi discover they escaped a horrible fate.
- Princess of the Empire Leia joins Darth Vader on the condition that Alderaan does not get destroyed.
"I didn't think ISB agents could be so handsome"
"Eh... Thank you, Twelfth Brother? I thought the same for inquisitors, I suppose..."
A young Theron and Kallus, at a high-society party on Coruscant. (Not pictured: Yularen boasting about his newest protege to another big shot of the imperial brass)
Meet Clawsies! Or Pawsies? of the bogling pair rescued by @hopefulsith's Iki Adala, to be hidden in the Jedi temple until they can be returned home to Bogano, where boglings can burrow without worry.
This week's chapter is a dose of sad and happy and... Stuff, lots of emotions mostly. Lara's back home, but she's still hurt. There's a lot of reminiscing, some panic attacks, some pain... And on the horizon, the emperor lurks. One Sith is done with her, but always two there are.
From Resurrection of a Shattered Heart
"Remember when she first started cooking?" Jax asked, trying to find something to say. "The droids have always been cooking for us since we moved in, but Sera just wanted to make something herself. She always used to talk about the things she made back home, but remember what a surprise it was when she first made us pie? It was great, and somehow she managed to keep it secret from all of us."
Lara leant her head against Jax.
"Not you of course, I still remember when you told me," Jax continued. "You were smiling ear to ear, having kept the secret for her all the time she was planning it." He chuckled as the memories came back. "And remember when Hyuna first tried to help? Sera was so patient teaching her. The Jedi never taught her anything like that, but she gave it a good go. She had a panic attack after she knocked over the batter, but Sera helped her calm down. Remember how we helped them clean up? And the droids had gotten plenty of ingredients, so they just tried again, and you said it tasted better because everyone helped."
[...]
Soon she was fully dressed again, and Lara recognised nothing of herself but the tears in her eyes and the scars on her face.
"Like you never left," Jax whispered in her ear, wrapping her in a warm hug. He just held her as she started at her hands. Those hands had spilled so much blood, but now it was as if none of that mattered, none of her crimes mattered, her murders, the death she gave out for her dark master. She looked like herself, like that girl who'd left Caela all those years ago. Like Lara, but that was so long ago. No matter how desperately she wanted to be here, everything had changed. Just like when the war ended.
Like you never left... Jax's words echoed in her ears. It wasn't a lie, he couldn't lie to her, wouldn't, but that didn't make it any less false. How could she be her? Even if she looked so much like her... General, governor, the girl he'd looked up to... She wasn't her. Lara had died at Vader's hand, piece by piece. She remembered her, the way she used to be, scared sometimes, but decisive, strong and capable... Worthy of him.
"I'm not," she quietly replied, shaking her head. "I'm not her, I'm not Lara, not anymore. I can't be her, no matter how much I want to."
"Of course you can, you are my Lara," Jax whispered back. "Perhaps you've changed over the years, but you're still my Lara, always still my beautiful little Lara."
"How can I be?" Lara sobbed. "I can't do any of those things I used to, I can't go anything but fight and kill. I'm a wreck! A broken wreck!"
"You aren't any different when I first talked to you," Jax whispered, "that poor little girl I found in the Condor, my beautiful little Lara. You're still that girl I watched over at night, no matter what."
[...]
"The emperor asked for you? The actual, imperial emperor?" Jax asked as the banter returned to normal. Lara had told him off her missions, but not who'd ordered them. It'd just have worried him.
"Met him in headquarters," Lara replied, nodding, "he asked about my work for Vader, after Dathomir, and he's been sending me on missions since. Apparently he's had his eyes on me since the war..."
"Since the war?" Mira asked. "That's a big deal, isn't it? I was told to be grateful when the old guy intervened on my behalf, that he didn't do that for just anyone..."
Lara shrugged. "He invited me to his office during the war," he replied, "after the conquest of Villers. It was... Some sort of party. I met a couple senators, kind of lost faith in the republic... And I talked with him. I thought he was just being friendly, asking about my hobbies, discussing his love for art... But I think I might've impressed him. I'd never really had anyone to talk with like that, and now he wants me to do more of that."
Missed last week's preview due to sickness and then melting from the heat, but at least I did get a chapter up on Friday, that's the most important. Now, back at Vader's castle, a lovesick Darth Vader and a very distraught Anakin Skywalker. At least Lara gets to go home?
From Resurrection of a Shattered Heart
A day passed quickly, meditating on his rage and hatred. Then the force disturbed Vader and it roused him from his meditations. The Nineteenth Sister was stirring. She had roused from her visions and returned from the Netherworld of the force.
But she was alone.
The gate did not open again, and Padmé did not walk through. Hope made way for devastation, desperation for despair. Momin's device worked. He'd seen it himself, he'd gone through the netherworld. And the Nineteenth Sister... She'd never failed before. She couldn't fail now, not when this was so much more important than any of her other missions. But Padmé wasn't here.
The Nineteenth Sister shook her head and took off her mask, taking a deep breath of unfiltered air. She was disoriented. Vader never sensed a thing about her, occasionally the dark side at most, but he knew how to read her body language, the way she shook, the way she tilted her head... She never took off her mask, but now she did. Really disoriented.
She turned to Vader, and she startled. There was fear in her eyes. She had clear, pearlescent eyes, bloodshot with tears, and old scars trailing down her face like claws, across her nose and mouth. Her skin was pale, a bit pasty, and her hair was unwashed, falling down to her shoulders. A memory came to him unbidden, Padmé running her hand through his hair and telling him he'd look better with it grown out. He'd never looked back, especially not when he saw how right she'd been. Now all that hair was scorched off by his fall, as he burned in the fires of Mustafar, and his face was scarred worse than hers.
The Nineteenth Sister looked upon Vader again, and the fear he'd seen there had turned into pity. "I'm sorry, my lord," she said. "I could not bring her back."
[...]
A black Eta-2 class starfighter landed in the hangar. It had no markings, no identifiers, nothing to tell on who was occupying the ship. Only the force told, the hunger on Hyuna's face and the impatience on Myrel's, the eagerness in everyone's hearts. Each soldier slammed their fist against their chest in recognition, a drumbeat of recognition, of respect and pride. Each of these soldiers had been in service for over five years, since their arrival on the planet to now. They all knew who was arriving, they all were eager to see their leader returned.
The canopy of the cockpit slid open, and out stepped a small figure, clad in a cloak the colour of a sightless mine. She pulled it close against her, shy, fearful, afraid of the light. Small trails of gold snaked their way across the fabric, like veins of ore in a stone, and they glowed with a light that sung in the force. Her face was hidden under her hood and behind her mask, but faceless or not, like the first day she had taken Jax and their friends along, he recognised her.
She moved slowly, swaying slightly. Jax rushed forwards, towards her, and Lara stumbled towards her. He caught her in his arms, and there she stilled. He lifted her, swaddled in her cloak, and carried her out. Whatever Vader had done to her the last five years, Jax only barely knew, but from all their conversations, he knew it was bad.
He would carry her to the end of the world if she needed him to.
And now some bonus Anikat! Anakin's being lonely... That boy just needs to reach out more and just make some friends, by the force! Meanwhile how do you actually do that...?
The following morning, Anakin went through his usual routine. He meditated with his master, ate, meditated some more, and continued to study under Obi-Wan's guidance. Today was slightly different though. Obi-Wan had a meeting to attend, and he left Anakin in Yoda's care.
It suited him fine. Anakin liked spending time with the grandmaster. Sometimes he was difficult to understand, with his kooky way of speaking, but there was always wisdom in his words. That was what made it so difficult to understand him.
"I heard you made a friend," Yoda said as they walked through the garden together, "good it is. Glad I am to see you reaching out."
"It was more Iskat who reached out to me," Anakin said, "Obi-Wan's assignments can be murder, and she helped me out."
He sensed Yoda inspecting him through the force. He did that a lot, letting the currents of the force carry him and inform him. It was the mark of a true Jedi, and a state of mind Anakin hoped to achieve one day.
"Difficult it is, reaching out?" Yoda asked, "A part of the order you are, yes, but part of our hearts you should also be. A silent killer loneliness is, and we would not want you to be isolated."
Anakin shrugged. "I often chat with Plo or you, and Obi-Wan is always by my side."
"But masters we are," Yoda said with a gentle smile, "friends your own age you should try to make as well. Perhaps to others of her clan Iskat can introduce you, but you must reach out first. Ask first you must."
Drafted into the freshly established Purge Trooper program at eighteen, PT-001 is an exceptional soldier and commander. He loyally serves the Nineteenth Sister, from suppressing Jedi-led rebellions to assisting others of their kind.
The Inquisitorius considers him a failure, because Jax Mortis is not loyal to the empire. He's loyal to her.
So it's about time Lara gets some good stuff happening for her. Up next: She makes some friends and gets help mourning. She really needs it. And she needs a nap, she really needs that nap.
From Resurrection of a Shattered Heart
Pkori was a ball of greens and browns, covered in swirling clouds. Lara sensed the power, its strength in the force and the strength of its people. She'd never been to Iskat's home, she'd never had the chance, but she'd hoped her visit to this world would've come under better circumstances.
Lara put her fighter down in a field somewhere near the main settlement on the planet. There were the people who she was looking for. The sheep, on the other hand, she was not there for. They approached her fighter as she jumped out the cockpit, and following close after was an angry Pkorian, shaking his crook.
"My sheep! My sheep! Why do you have to bother us with your metal bricks?!" the shepherd cried in Pkorian. Lara recognised the clicks and rolled r's from the little bits Iskat demonstrated, though she'd only been learning the language. It sounded musical and soft, like a songbird's singing, even as the shepherd made his displeasure known.
Lara merely got the gist through the force, taking meaning from the mind of the shepherd and allowing it to form words in her brain.
"I am not... The last who came," Lara said, trying the words. Pkorian wasn't her language, but the force provided, and through the force she made it hers.
"You speak our language?" the shepherd asked, lowering his crook in confusion.
"I am looking for the Akaris matriarch," Lara replied, and the shepherd pointed his crook to the village. Rather than waste any time on him, she set off, lowering the hood of her Rock-Eater cloak over her mask.
"You are not welcome here, stranger," the shepherd called after her, "Jedi are not welcome here!"
[...]
"Aunty Iskat! Aunty Iskat!" a child came running up to Lara, but the moment she saw under her cloak, the child skidded to a halt. "You're not aunty!" she cried, "Where's aunty Iskat? I saw her ship! I saw it coming from the sky!"
"Patience, young one, she brings us news," Beamala said. Under the tree she sat down, and the family gathered around her. Children sat on garden walls or among the dirt and adults listened in as they watched over their young. From a distance they watched, their hearts full of apprehension at this stranger in their home, but also full of worry about their missing daughter.
Lara knelt by the tree, opposite Beamala, and lowered her hood. "The news I bear is ill," she said. "Iskat was dear to me, a sister true, but when I returned to our home, it was with great grief. Iskat has become one with the force. I found her and her beloved murdered by the Sith, for the crime of falling in love."
A murmur went through the gathered Pkorians. They listened to her words, and new though the language was to Lara, the meaning was not lost on them. They made gestures to the sky and covered their eyes, for their daughter would come home no more.
Beamala let out a howl of grief, and the men and women around her joined her cry. "Iskat, Iskat, why have you abandoned us?" they cried, "Iskat, Iskat, we loved you so!"
"I'm sorry," Lara said, tears coming as fresh as when she'd found her body. "Iskat spoke of you with love, love of home and love of family, and I wish she could've brought me here to meet her grandmother and her aunts."
[...]
For a few days, Lara stayed on Pkori. Dressed in a dress that'd once been Iskat's- but shortened for her -and a shepherd's crook carved by Ellamak in hand, she accompanied her and a few of the others as they went about their chores. The sheep were calm, the oxen cared for little but grass, and the hordes of children flocked around them like ravenous chickens chattering for attention. Lara liked it, so far from the troubles of the galaxy, and they liked her. Though one day she would have to leave, they let her be someone other than the inquisitor for once.
Lara loved the stories they told as they watched the animals, and the animals were easier to shepherd than anything in the empire. Sure, she had to get a sheep out of a hole more than once or free an ox from an obstinate bush, but the animals were easy to get along with. A wave of her crook was enough for the animals to gather.
Lara always got along well with animals, from the time Yoda taught her to communicate with animals- with the help of a pair of tookas who'd decided she was perfect for climbing -to when she met Nexie on a planet she'd freed of a toxic droid factory during the war. The adorable nexu stayed by her side for as long as they'd been on that planet.
Currently, one of the Pkorian children tried the same. Little Fy Akaris was bright, gifted in the force, and as headstrong as her auntie Iskat had been. And she wanted to know everything about the force Lara could tell her.
"Can you tell me more about the pale witches, auntie Lara?" Fy excitably asked as she ran circles around her. "I'll be a witch too, when I'm a hukma!"
"Then you better study hard," Lara thoughtfully replied. "Hukma are more priest than witch, aren't they? Lots of people will be looking up to you."
Last week I didn't really write anything before the snippets because yeah. Iskat. That's the whole chapter... This week I'm gonna put in some more effort. So lets start off with something 7th sister! She's gonna be the new protagonist of Resurrection and- Nah, she's just there to squabble with her colleagues and then get scared off.
From Resurrection of a Shattered Heart
The Thirteenth Sister was dead! It was a happy day for the Seventh Sister. That wretched bitch was dead. It was one less inquisitor, yes, but she would not miss her. It didn't matter that there was one less inquisitor. It would only leave more prey for the Seventh, and she would not make the mistake the Thirteenth had.
Pathetic, falling in love with another inquisitor... It was like painting a target on your back. Darth Vader was their master, and if they disappointed him he would be their deaths. How did Thirteen not realize how weak that love made her? It was pathetic.
Seventh was happy to be rid of her. One less rival, one less inquisitor to steal her prey or fight with. Seventh was happy. And she was going to take everything the Thirteenth Sister had left behind. She had to have so many treasures. Seventh knew she'd been stealing a lot for the Inquisitorius, and she'd kept even more. It'd all be locked in that room of hers, all the treasure she'd collected over the last half-decade. It called to Seventh, and it would be hers now the Thirteenth couldn't protect it anymore.
[...]
In another place of honour laid a small item Lara recognised. It was a little chain, set with red Kyber. An earring. It was an earring matching Lara's, the other of a pair. Lara's earring had been a gift from Iskat, but she'd kept the other.Lara took off her gauntlet and traced a bare finger over the golden chain. Memories took her, and the force showed her the friend she grieved as if she was still alive.
"Friend," Iskat said to herself, "my friend, my little sister..." She held the earring up to her ear and examined herself in a mirror. Then, with a dull ache of subdued sadness, she put it down again.
Connection was risk. Closeness was weakness. Her little Oracle was right to hide her face and name, to hide that shy smile she showed only her. She could hide the trinket, wear it under her mask, but Iskat couldn't. She'd been reckless, even her love for Tualon was reckless.
Her little Oracle was right, it was best not to risk it, but still. Iskat had a friend, she had made a friend of her own, and in the Inquisitorius of all places. Again it was a triumph, vindication. Her choice had been correct. It had always been correct. The Jedi had always hated her, but her sweet little Oracle did not. She was her friend.
[...]
Two things stood out to Lara. One was a Jedi holocron she'd seen before, in the archives. She'd only been an inquisitor for a short while when it'd appeared in the headquarters, and just like everyone else she'd disregarded it as worthless. Tualon had not. It laid on the workbench, each peace neatly cleaned and repaired, yet there was something missing. The repairs were incomplete, the holocron still dead, perhaps it'd never be fixed. It had no memory crystal anyway and the aurodium frame and crystal walls all still bore the marks of the damage it'd suffered.
The other thing that caught her eye was a wooden sculpture, simple and covered in Rylothi glyphs. It was a Twi'lek artifact, but Lara hadn't studied their ways. She didn't know what significance it held, but it was significant to Tualon. Either he'd made it himself or it had some other connection to him, but the the sculpture weighed down the force with meaning and history.
It had two strings of beads attached on each side, like the Lekku of a Twi'lek, and Lara's eyes were drawn to the bottom two beads on one of the strings. It was a black bead followed by a red bead. Suddenly Lara couldn't breathe, her throat closing up again. She knew what this was.
---
And now for something happier, a little more from my unfinished Anikat fic. Iskat looks up quite a lot to her fellow Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, and also thinks he's hot because have you looked at him? (Okay he'll be more handsome when he grows his hair out...)
Obi-Wan Kenobi was a famous Jedi, the first Jedi to kill a Sith in a thousand years. His Padawan, Anakin Skywalker, was just as famous. He was the chosen one, destined to destroy the Sith, and Iskat had helped him with his homework.
Anakin Skywalker was kind, down to earth, and many other things, the perfect Jedi. Not to mention he was quite handsome. Iskat had spoken up without a thought, pointing out the book he needed. She'd found it on the shelves ages ago, and Anakin had sounded like he was struggling. Helping him out was the greatest impulse she'd had in ages. Usually her impulsiveness was a horrid reflex she needed to control and suppress.
Now Anakin was taking Iskat to meet his master, Obi-Wan, the best, nicest Jedi in the order. She never would've dared approach him herself, not to mention she'd never have any reason to, but now she was friends with his Padawan. At least, she thought. She hoped. She didn't want to presume, and she didn't want to push. A respectable Jedi wouldn't, and that was what Iskat wanted to be.
I am of course biased towards Tookaball, though I really like your most recent drawing too.
I am usually biased to my most recent drawings! Hyuna and Sera, before that Hyuna in full armour, before that Lara's dark side corruption... But of course Tooka ball was a fun one too, both Tooka ball alone, and Nix and her plushie.
