Black Hats are Dry Clean Only

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

I really rarely if ever take my picture. But figured I needed to exist.

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

Busy busy day. As a random treat I found out that someone posted an album I still have as a physical CD. Never seen anyone else talk about the band, so if you're into some obscure 90s alt rock you may not have heard, here you go. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGmEvWURjU8&list=PLUl4oy0twtGboTrS2KMsKyagb-HiKvOS2 Favorites? Overdrive, Bikeracks, Fun, Airwaves, and Prozac.

[beemovieerotica]

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[lastoneout]

I have been in EMDR therapy recently to help with past trauma and like 90% of the appointments are just this post. Which I thought was silly at first bcs I was like "well I know how I'm feeling, I feel bad" but man you have no idea. Literally JUST talking through whatever stressful thing I have going on at the moment and whenever I feel a Big Emotion stopping and acknowledging, naming, and sitting with it makes a huge difference. I've made more progress with my trauma and mental illnesses just doing this in a single year than I have in like 10+ years of therapy.

It might feel silly or pointless at first but stick with it, it really helps.

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

Good morning folks. Random updates to get things off my mind.

I've been having dreams about my mom, when there's a lot of internal pressure that tends to happen. Working through a lot of not so related things. I feel like I've realized my mind can tend to create very loose associations, and that happens with my dreams as well. Like it's stuff I'm thinking about, but instead of being as close as A to B, it's more like A to M sometimes. Not super related or not, I still woke up angry. A chain of memories came up of my mom and how instead of railing on me it was just a constant stream of misplaced guilt. An undermining of who I was and a constant reminder of everything I had been. She was like vines that always wanted to hold me back to the image she had of me when I was very little. Never better, never growing, never sad or unstable or worse. Just this image of me as a child so she would be needed, wanted. But she didn't see me. She didn't see the struggles when I was younger. She didn't see the growth when I was older. She never actually knew me. And even when I was about to get married to the love of my life she let me know that if it didn't work out mama would always be there to take care of me. She didn't believe any emotion or dream I ever had. I got so damn tired of not being believed, not being believed in. I'm middle-aged now and sometimes still grieve not having a mom for me, but a mom for some other kid that didn't exist. --------------------------------------------------- I'm reading a new book that falls into my comfort valley. It's about a small town wizard who spends all of his time helping people. Not big fiery explosions, or battle magic, just helping people. Nobody seems to get him, suspecting he's got ulterior motives, or thinking he's just stupid, too soft, or crazy. He uses his magic to help their fields, cure a bull in pain from constipation, made wards against pests, and make simple potions to cure coughs or preserve food longer. If I could, that's what I would do. Just go from house to house and fix leaning doors, talk to people about what they are going through, or spend time with lonely animals to help them feel better. I know I'm not perfect, innocent, or without my history of being an asshole. I'm really not trying to say that. I just know a lot of people haven't understood that part of my spirit. And though the book isn't exactly well written, it's warm and comforting to have a character that makes sense to me in a way that isn't just comprehension, but kinship. --------------------------------------- Random cpap mask thoughts

Facehugger

Ironically when taking it off, a Predator mask

Superhero mask to help me feel okay putting it on

It has magnetic clasps. Sometimes when I take it off, one of them will attach softly to my earbud for a moment before I move it away from my face and it falls away. Like the clasp loves the earbud and is giving it a kiss farewell

Having earbuds, phone, power cord, mask on, and air hose to the mask makes me think of hospital beds. That one isn't always easy to get past.

Sometimes I put it on and just have to focus on anything else. It's not always like that.

Sometimes I wake up and it feels comfortable on before I take it off. Wish I could have that putting it on.

It has drastically reduced my snoring. I'm happy to be less disruptive.

[sabinerondissime]

[ramblingman12]

[cybergemini777]

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

Crap, have I gone so long without some casual fps that I'm thinking of downloading Apex Legends again? I refuse.

[my-divine-rhythm]

Be kind to yourself

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

The Born to Yap community apparently is filled with people from 15 to 22 all hoping to not talk to anyone younger than them. Am I too old to yap now? Am I such an old fart that people are like "don't want to listen to old white men". Okay, that's fair. I just want to put on my sun hat and take my paddington bear looking self to watch project hail mary for the third time and wait for my wife to wake up so I can see if I can make her laugh.

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

I see you tumblr. I made that last post and now tumblr just recommended to me a community for readers, and a community called Born to Yap.

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

Things I love doing.

Spending time with my wife, and with my daughter Writing Designing things Reading books, watching movies Talking. A lot of yapping Teaching

Things I'm really good at. Diagnosing technological systems Things people are willing to pay me for Diagnosing technological systems Anyone else see the problem here?

[blackhatsaredrycleanonly]

Walking into my favorite Chinese takeout place i count my steps. Part of me feels like there are only so many of them left. So I huff and puff and try to get to a place where I have more steps left to me.

I sit inside and wait, listening to the end of remarkably bright creatures. Cried because of book and longing I am exhausted as I wait for the best Chinese food around.

I see the characters in the restaurant. Some lady with the snap on sunglass part of her glasses tucked behind her ear. She's turned to the left but it looks like she's staring at me.

An old man with wild hair comes in talking on the phone. Sounds like he's talking about devil drapes he bought on baby goat avenue. Outside i see her parked the wrong way at a red curb with his wife sitting in the passenger seat. He's not here for an order he made, he orders right there. Its going to be a long while.

And while they are characters, so am I. Maybe the guy shouting USA at the world cup noticed a fat guy pushing 50 who takes a small device out of his pocket, holds the end, and earbuds spin down to a usbc adaptor. Maybe im a character too.

Food is almost ready. Going home.

[themoorishwitch]

[refinedtaste]

[livelovelaugh-777]