I liked him I really did. But I think I liked the idea of him I had in my head. I didn’t really know him but I really wanted to. It’s interesting to think about it objectively now, cause it doesn’t make much sense to me anymore that I put so much weight into the whole thing. It’s nice that it happened, I got a fun story out of it. I think I over romanticized it while I was living through it. Does it really matter much in the long run? Not really. The “what if’s” don’t matter since it’s a waste of energy to anticipate something that has no guarantee of happening. Intuitively, I knew we weren’t a good match. The more I think about it objectively, the more I see that we didn’t really connect much. I think it was more in my head than anything. Fantasizing about what kind of guy he was and what kind of couple we could be. A mistake because it prevented me from actually getting to know the guy in front of me. It was my fault for getting my hopes up so high with my imagination. Spent the last couple of days distracted and going over possible scenarios in my head but I think I can let it go now. It happened. From it I learned that infatuation can be a bit scary but fun, and that I’m still capable of feeling this way after such a long time.
