rei bang.
rei was ready to get up and leave seulki on his own because he was so sure that he hated him and didn’t want him around anymore. but the other’s voice pulled him back, pausing his hurried attempt at gathering all his stuff together. the instinct to run away from seulki and not have to face him was still there, but he willed himself to sit down and stay there. all the running away had made him incredibly exhausted and he honestly didn’t have the strength to do it anymore. the tears that rei had been holding back were now freely running down his cheeks. he really did want to go somewhere else with seulki where no one could see him being so vulnerable, but he first had to make sure that the boy understood why he had been so distant from him. “it’s just.. really hard to explain. i guess that day when i asked you why you’ve never tried to drink my blood i felt kind of rejected because i thought we were close enough for something like that. and i just took that kind of hard.” that was a big reason why he had been avoiding seulki but there was also more than that. except that part was even harder to say and he wasn’t sure if he could. once he said that out loud there was no way that he could take it back. “and well, i guess i also had some kind of feelings? and i let them get the best of me when i really shouldn’t have,” rei explained, words spilling out of his mouth like a faucet and he wasn’t even sure if any of them were making sense. what he did know was that he craved the usual closeness he had with seulki and that it hurt to have him so near and not be touching him. and so he found himself closing the distance that heir chairs forced between them, bringing a hand up to rest against seulki’s cheek. “but i don’t ever want to do that again. you mean too much to me for that. and i have too much love for you to ruin our friendship just because of what i feel.”
seulki’s cold resolve broke the instant tears freely flowed out of rei’s eyes. the restraint to keep his hands to himself, to stay rigid and wound up completely gone as he felt his own heartbeat stutter within his chest. that was the problem and the solution to most things, rei being his heartbeat. at times where he felt his own humanity slipping from whatever, rei was always there to remind him that there was more to him than the blood thirsty vampire trying to claw it’s way out. then there were times like these, when seulki had wished he could just shut off everything and move on, forget there were people he cared about. but, he could never imagine himself not caring about rei, no matter how hard he wished the boy away, he would never truly want that. what comes out of the boy’s mouth shocks seulki, stuns him enough to go completely rigid, mouth parting open slightly as dark brows raise up. on pure instinct alone, the vampire gathers the crying boy in his arms, pulling him close, an arm winding around rei’s waist to steady him in his lap. not caring in the slightest where they were or who was looking, seulki rakes a hand through rei’s hair before letting his thumb wipe at the falling tears, “oh, heartbeat,” he breathes out, steeling himself, “it’s not just as simple as me not wanting to drink from you. god, i--- i do, probably more than anyone, but there’s so much more to it.” closing his eyes for a moment, seulki collects himself, “i don’t want to hurt you, there’s always the possibility i get too caught up and i could--- i could kill you, rei. and then it’s so overwhelming because i---” catching himself before he can continue the sentence: because i love you. “nevermind.” seulki mumbles, shaking his head, the words ruin our friendship ringing in his mind. that’s all it’d ever be, friendship, and he couldn’t will it to be anything more even if he wanted more so desperately. “if whatever feelings you felt were taking over you so much, i want you to talk to me, i don’t want this to happen again, baby, i love you---” so much more than he would ever know, “ and i can’t--- i really can’t be without you, it breaks my heart.”