seulki.
seulki’s cold resolve broke the instant tears freely flowed out of rei’s eyes. the restraint to keep his hands to himself, to stay rigid and wound up completely gone as he felt his own heartbeat stutter within his chest. that was the problem and the solution to most things, rei being his heartbeat. at times where he felt his own humanity slipping from whatever, rei was always there to remind him that there was more to him than the blood thirsty vampire trying to claw it’s way out. then there were times like these, when seulki had wished he could just shut off everything and move on, forget there were people he cared about. but, he could never imagine himself not caring about rei, no matter how hard he wished the boy away, he would never truly want that. what comes out of the boy’s mouth shocks seulki, stuns him enough to go completely rigid, mouth parting open slightly as dark brows raise up. on pure instinct alone, the vampire gathers the crying boy in his arms, pulling him close, an arm winding around rei’s waist to steady him in his lap. not caring in the slightest where they were or who was looking, seulki rakes a hand through rei’s hair before letting his thumb wipe at the falling tears, “oh, heartbeat,” he breathes out, steeling himself, “it’s not just as simple as me not wanting to drink from you. god, i— i do, probably more than anyone, but there’s so much more to it.” closing his eyes for a moment, seulki collects himself, “i don’t want to hurt you, there’s always the possibility i get too caught up and i could— i could kill you, rei. and then it’s so overwhelming because i—” catching himself before he can continue the sentence: because i love you. “nevermind.” seulki mumbles, shaking his head, the words ruin our friendship ringing in his mind. that’s all it’d ever be, friendship, and he couldn’t will it to be anything more even if he wanted more so desperately. “if whatever feelings you felt were taking over you so much, i want you to talk to me, i don’t want this to happen again, baby, i love you—” so much more than he would ever know, “ and i can’t— i really can’t be without you, it breaks my heart.”
as rei felt strong arms around him and pulling him closer, he instantly pressed closer against him. it felt like a weight had been removed from his chest, like he could finally breathe after holding his breath for so long. he always knew that he loved being close to seulki and being in his arms, but he didn’t realize how much he needed to be near him like he needed air until he didn’t have it anymore. as seulki wiped his tears away, he could feel them stop falling as he slowly calmed down. the other boy always had such a calming affect on rei. that was probably why he was one of the only people that had ever seen him at his most vulnerable moments. as rei listened to seulki explain his opposition to drinking his blood, he listened intently. it was a relief to know that that reason for it wasn’t because he didn’t like him enough and he wished that he had known that soon. the word overwhelming caught his attention, but he decided not to probe the boy further. “i wish i hadn’t been so stubborn and asked you about it, another reason i’m so mad at myself. but i just want you to know that i know that you wouldn’t hurt me because i trust you, but i respect your decision. i know i shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place, but i couldn’t help it because i find your vampire side just as beautiful as your human side.” he looked into seulki’s warm brown eyes as he spoke, fingertips lightly grazing his cheek. all of that is what he should’ve said that night instead of pushing him away, but he was glad that he was able to get all of that off his chest. “i find it so hard to talk about when i feel and that’s why it’s easier for me to just push people away,” he found himself admitting. the way seulki meant love most likely was platonic, but rei couldn’t help the way his heart skipped a beat as he registered the words. and maybe he did want it to mean something deeper. leaning forward to press his face against the crook of seulki’s neck, his other hand came up to rest atop the boy’s heart. “i promise to not leave you alone or break your heart because i— i love you.”
