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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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Cosimo Galluzzi

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DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.
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TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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Peter Solarz
Claire Keane

JVL
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Not today Justin
$LAYYYTER

ç„æ„ / Permanent Vacation
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@bleep09
Django Reinhardt played his solos with two fingers. At the age of 18, in an accident in his caravan, his back and left hand was heavily burned. Being already a reputed musician, his career seemed to be over. In 2 years he recovered and developed the technique that helped him to be the best. Two physicians thoroughly analyzed his hand and according to them:
âDjangoâs technique was only possible because of the remarkable length and span of his index and middle fingers. Photographs show that he could play a âbarreâ across the full width of the fret board using just the distal two phalanges of his index finger, and a half barre with the distal phalanx of his middle finger and analysis of film footage shows that he could effortlessly span a distance of at least 120mm [4.7 inches] between the tips of his index and middle fingers.â
This event is also a landmark in the history of guitar and jazz. Django created a whole new set of chords and arpeggios and became the most virtuoso guitarist ever. Try a solo with 2 fingers, and feel the strength it gives to your acoustic sound, or watch the 20 minute presentation of the research on Djangoâs hand. The whole study is here.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, âWhere am I, Cathy?â ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I canât remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isnât it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesnât know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Heâs 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town Iâm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral⊠_________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
oh my god these are great
fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes
nicknames/mottos (a more truthful version): countries
As a Scottish person I can confirm that this is 100% accurate
As an English person I can confirm that this is 100% accurate
As an American person I can confirm that this is 100% accurate.
reblogging cause new zealand
HERE I COME NEW ZEALAND
Walesâ we have the coolest flag.
(via http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/jack-ely-poses-for-a-portrait-with-his-group-jack-ely-and-news-photo/472166864)
1930âs juke joint. BBQ and cold beerâŠ