godsrighteousman:
Steve stayed silent until they reached Kennedyâs room. He didnât want to attract the attention of the rest of his family - he wanted to have this conversation in private. And, he was pretty sure Ronan would want the same thing.
While it was cooler in Kennedyâs room, the real reason he wanted to go in there was to be in his little girlâs room one last time before she was to be married. And, after marriage, well⊠needless to say, she wouldnât need him anymore. âNo, itâs really fine,â he stated, wondering why Ronan was so adamant that he was fine. He was clearly not fine - not that he could say anything about lying about such things âSon, I donât think Iâve ever catered to anyone in my life, and if Iâm beinâ honest, you donât seem like the kind of person who needs catering to.â
After Ronan sat down, Steve slowly closed the door behind him, and moved to stand by the window. He stared out at the street for a moment, instinctively wondering where Kennedy was, before looking back to him. âIâm glad to hear that.â He gave him a small smile, his eyes moving downward. âSo, whatâd you need to ask me about?â
The silence was his solace. Ronan had always longed for the quiet that was never found in his own home, with children running around and their parents running after them. Even though the children were his siblings and cousins and the parents were his own parents and aunt and uncle, it didnât make the loud noises any more easy to deal with. His own mind was made of glass - any loud sound shattered its walls and sent him into a spiral of panic and tension.Â
And so the quiet stillness of Kennedyâs room was comforting; and not just because his heightened senses could definitely pick up the scent of his girlfriend on the bed he was situated on.
Ronan flinched and double-looked Steve at the word son. He had never heard that from anyone other than his own father, and that only rarely; the entire word and all of its meanings were tainted to their family, for more than one valid reason. First names were almost always chosen, other than the occasional pet name his mother would use.Â
He tried to blink the look off of his face before speaking, one dark blue corner of his mouth twitching. âI think, sir, I - I do need it sometimes,â he admitted, eyes immediately leaving any part of Steve out of shame. âThe sad part is my⊠unwillingness to admit it or - or accept it when its given.â
His heart started racing even faster when silence fell once more between them, and he knew that the silence would not provide any more solace that night. His throat felt dry despite all of the water (which had long since been used by his body to provide some sort of respite from the heat and loss of fluids). But what gave him the smallest sort of calmness was that Ronan was skilled at reading people; a skill from his father - or perhaps my mother, he thought - which was now being put to use. He could easily tell that Steve had some inkling as to why the blue boyfriend (as Tony exclusively called him) had come, and so perhaps it would not be the shock that would reject Ronan right away.
âNo offense meant, sir, but I think⊠I think you already know,â he started, suddenly feeling rather silly for sitting while the other stood - especially given the subject matter. And so the half-Jotunn stood on surprisingly steady legs and faced the other, hands going to wring themselves purple in front of him. âI want to - to marry her,â he said through an exhale, as if he was ripping off a bandage. Then red eyes widened, and he added, âKennedy, that is. Not that - not that I could mean anyone else by her, just - it was vague. I was vague. Iâm -âÂ
He closed his eyes. âI love her,â he said finally, his features contorting in a helpless sort of way. âAnd I donât want to see a day without her in my life, is what Iâm trying to say.â
