ivy

18 || she/her || side blog || ranting or whatever || FUCK TRUMP!!

[blindedivy]

just sent the break up message. i feel so alone already and indescribably hurt. i know it couldn't be forever but god, i wanted it to be. i feel fucking sick and i actually want to off myself.

i've also got literally no one to talk to abt this bc ive got no friends and wouldn't want to bother people anyway

back to being completely alone. but now it hurts way worse knowing how it felt to be loved and then losing it.

i actually could throw up right now. i still love him so fucking bad but he drives me insane and i can't do that forever.

[blindedivy]

"i didn't think you'd have a problem with me going to the tavern if i promised you that i won't drink".

Let's fucking think for one second ??

I brought up to him like a week prior that I don't want to be with someone who drinks. We fought and then he ultimately said he wouldn't drink and that he'd respect it. (We've already had this discussion before tho). Then he wants to go with his friend to the tavern a week later. What the fuck?

"I already promised I wouldn't drink". Hey, so yk how you promised you wouldn't vape and did it behind my back. Twice. You broke that promise twice. Hmmm.

Oh, and how YOU wanted us to not follow people of the opposite gender and you did. Friended this one girl twice after that. I had confronted him and he did it again.

[blindedivy]

i'm😂tired😂of😂feeling😂like😂i'm😂fucking😂crazy😂😂

[condemnedbody]

[pantherapple-deactivated2026040]

It’s actually crazy how fucking manipulative these predators are on here like as soon as a teen girl posts something about being sad or mentally challenged all they see is an opportunity to manipulate them for their own sad greedy little ego. There’s a special place in hell for these people

[blindedivy]

"where's my happy daughter gone?"

she died along with my innocence

i lost her so long ago. when i look at photos of myself when i was younger, i just see her as a different person. someone i couldn't protect.

[blindedivy]

learning to just not go looking because anything i'll find will only upset me.

going on insta AT ALL now makes me SO nauseous.

[melaniegyllenhaal]

[blindedivy]

life so shit but atleast ive got my silly little blog

[blindedivy]

how could he be so fucking mean.

he loves me so much and cares about me and all that but i have to keep nagging him again and again before he tells me his literal weekend plans.

which he's been hiding and only js told me now bc atp im being so fucking annoying with wanting to know.

he's going speeding with his friend that i hate (and he's lowk obsessed with). lovely!! and going to a car meet that they will be driving at. who knows what else lmao

holy shit is lying about quitting vaping (like 3 times!!) just not enough? you're lying all the time now saying that you don't have plans like wtf!? YES YOU DO WHY DID YOU FUCKING HIDE IT. ALWAYS WITH THIS STUFF HE WONT TELL ME. THIS IS WHY I ALWAYS ASK AND CANT TAKE "Nothing yet" FOR AN ANSWER.

oh yeah of course he was hiding it bc when have i ever fucking been okay with speeding. ooohh and he's legal for drinking now too (and wanting to!) so there's that aswell that im worrying over! i don't even know where he'll be driving or anything. i don't even know if it's tomorrow or the day after. and ill be at work both days so i can't check his location or message or anything.

this kind of shit makes me sick with worry and he just does not care. also w him wanting to join the army. and ride motorcycles. and that kinda shit. especially speeding. motorcycles and speeding?? wtf is that combo!?? everything that is fun to him is just dangerous and im sorry but selfish. not selfish bc he wants to, but bc he even chose me. he's always known im like this and against all that so why did he even get with me? i wish i knew this shit prior, the kind of stuff he likes. it just does not align with me. and he's like "but fun" in response to my concerns. are you fucking serious? one wrong move and you're splat dead on the floor. it gives me way too much worry to the point i cant function. i am the biggest fucking overthinker and he's always said it's okay bc he is too. no you don't fucking get it. you never will.

what's the point in me even getting angry at him though bc i'll never leave. i love him so bad. it is only hurting the both of us but i cannot lose him. the way he loves me is all ive ever wanted and so much more. way more than i deserve. i just do not know how to cope with the rest. but they're huge things to me.

my bad for ranting but like he's gone to sleep right after sending those messages finally telling me and i am so stuck in my head.

am i being a shit girlfriend? i feel like i am but also this just is not fair, right? i've completely gone off at him so yeah, him responding in the morning will be fun. it's always flipped on me to make me feel bad, can't wait!! xx

[blindedivy]

i love going through my own tiktok reposts like omg who is this real and mysterious queen!!?

[blindedivy]

bro i am already so sick of men following my blog n messaging.

ur not welcome here!!

[blindedivy]

me with my bf because he's the only male i've felt so safe with.

*let me make this clear, i do not AT ALL ship beth and daryl. it's just a gif u guys*

[paranoiddollie]

Girls don’t want boys they want a friendship like evie and tracys even if its toxic

[blindedivy]

"this is so you"

"this reminds me of you"

"i see you in (character)"

"this song suits you"

[blindedivy]

"why are you being so hostile?" oh.

[porcelaindollsprincess]