pathetic, but aesthetic

ariana • xxiii • tn

[bliss-waves]

sometimes

sometimes i wonder sometimes i ponder here comes the thunder but deep down, i know the truth thunder won’t make you fonder of me but thunder made me burn for you but i’m too rough around the edges i’m too talkative, talk too fast too unconventional, palate can’t last too incompatible, interests too vast yet your ass still happily took a pass you were so happy to take pieces of me you…

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[what-iz-life]

Manipulation is when they always mess with your mind by blaming you for reacting to their toxic behaviour, but never discuss their disrespect that triggered you.

[brok3np4radise-deactivated20250]

People may not always tell you how they feel about you, but they will always show you. Pay attention.

Unknown

[remanence-of-love]

[bliss-waves]

sleeping at last

& when your heart sinks,  remind yourself of their hateful words / the actions  that never lined up  with the nice ones / remember the choices that resulted in  your shattered pieces created so  mindlessly / anxiety is  the biggest  heartless bitch / why? because she’s  t i m e l e s s / stop lying to yourself  she says stop pretending  that everything  is fucking perfect…

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[generable]

[zarb]

[freshilla]

[fyeahvolcanoes]

[shynot]

[extriper]

[bliss-waves]

ANTITHETICAL

it’s appalling, the mere thought of being compared to something so revolting, so grotesque, hm, perhaps a four, at best? i digress perhaps one four is more your speed / you’re finally at ease all the dirty little secrets tucked away beneath your knees / feeling eighteen again? at least now you have one friend / i wish you the best of luck playing the part that made us fall…

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[bliss-waves]

madman // i'm scared

madman // i’m scared

my heart goes out to you / it must be hard  to have so much hate  built up inside a body  that hates you even more  than your own mind /  it must be so hard  to bear the weight  of that white privilege that mistakes  my intelligence  as a caucasian element / it’s oozing, you’re boozing pills, tabs, dabs you had it all / you’ve found  another bottle  somewhere  i thought i hid…

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[bliss-waves]

et tu, brutus?

it’s pitch black we’re back to back my trust is whole-heartedly in you / & it was for so long / from start to finish i confided in you / every detail / my good, my bad my dirty, my ugly the shame, the sacrifices / & you had two choices: choose me or choose yourself i do believe you made your choice forever ago sometime / are you happy now? / now that everyone has watched…

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[bliss-waves]

walking into the unknown

walking into the unknown

the nights when I’m all alone are the hardest. they’ve always been. I can never get far enough away from my thoughts, & I guess that’s a good thing because lately… I’ve been shoving a lot of things to the side & completely disregarding important things. for one, my depression is back in full force. no longer do I have anything or anyone to distract me.  for two, my parents are trying to work…

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[bliss-waves]

recovery

life is like a one way track always forward never back … i’d like to say i saw this coming but truthfully, i did not … even if i could change anything that’s happened, i wouldn’t. god, i wish, i wish, but i wouldn’t. … i never could have dreamed of this life going so far off track like that. … but thankfully, i’ve crawled my way day by fucking day back to this reality back…

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[bliss-waves]

redemption

it’s the loveliest feeling when the self-loathing you’ve nurtured for so long begins to loathe itself the first day is always the hardest that first time you realize you do not love yourself that in fact you despise what you’ve become that double-take in the foggy mirror was the wake up call you so desperately needed to understand that it is simply impossible to love someone…

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