I'm not a man, yet not a women.
I’m not a man, yet not a women.
When I first began transitioning, I believed I couldn’t ever be androgynous. I’d only come across images of superrrrr skinny white/white passing folx. These images of what society wants us to believe is androgyny contradicted the aesthetic I desired & hoped to look like someday.
Androgyny encompasses a variety of bodies & people. Brown & black people can be androgynous. People with curves or disabilities can be androgynous.
Trans people can be androgynous. And unlike what I was led to believe, people with body structures that typically denote a binary gender can also be androgynous.
As my body shifted, I was happy to view an image of me that only appeared in my childhood dreams. Yet, I was also insecure that people referred to me as a man, defined my body as masculine, & laughed at me whenever I expressed myself as being Androgynous. I knew who I was, yes, but I worried too much about how other people viewed me.
My body, like my identity, is mine, & only mine to define. Muscles are not necessarily masculine. In instances when they are, it does not indicate a person is “man.” If I say I’m androgynous, then my body, like my mind, is also androgynous. My muscular structure does not minimize this.
I’m not a man, not yet a woman; sometimes I’m both, or neither. Many times, I’m all genders, whatever those genders may look like. And occasionally my gender is a black hole in space: nothing. At all times, in any shape my body takes form, I will always be me. I hope I can present to the world another example of what androgyny can be.
Perhaps one day, as a society, we will stop making assumptions about people’s gender or sexual identities based upon how we perceive their body. Maybe we’ll learn to stop gendering bodies at birth or during puberty. Maybe we’ll finally push back against the images media presents to us. Maybe one day we’ll cease policing trans bodies. Perhaps we’ll spend less time centering white or white passing bodies. Maybe we’ll stop glorifying “fit” bodies. Maybe we’ll start listening to folx with disabilities.
Maybe my hopes are too high.
A boi can dream.
romaincrisis
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