Lola

Hi there, I'm Lola! I sometimes write articles and stuff. Welcome to my blog! I'm 22, Queer, Bisexual. Living In San Francisco. An Art/Theatre student, Feminist and blogger =) She/Her pronouns please =)

[myvegansensesaretingling]

I dunno about you guys, but I think I’ve found the only Christmas sweater I’ll ever need for family get-togethers. You can find it here in various styles.

[bloggerslut]

Can i be bi if i wasn't before? I mean i ve never felt anything towards women but now at a stroke i have dreams about having sex with women and everything but really i dont now if its just a phase bc i ve never felt this way before

Of course you can be. You can be bi regardless of whether you feel like you were straight before this or bisexual since birth, and if after a while you feel like you're not bi anymore, that's cool too. But if, for now, you feel like you're bisexual, then congratulations, you're bisexual! You don't need to prove it to anyone or have a special set of qualifications before identifying as bi. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of crap. 

[transphysics]

The first transgender suicide hotline in the US

For the first time, there is a hotline in the US that is staffed entirely by transgender people, to serve transgender people.  Everyone in the trans community needs to be spreading this around.  Lives could be saved. You can reach Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860

[bloggerslut]

Hey! I love your piece of the bi erasure of artists! I find that the same happens to bi activists. Sylvia Rivera is often labeled a lesbian though she was bisexual. Same with other queer women who are bisexual and who had prominent roles in the queer movement. It's sad how things only cater to white cis gays now..

Thank you so much ^_^ And yes, absolutely. While doing research for that article I found such a ridiculous amount of famous women whose bisexuality was completely erased because it was more "convenient" to paint it that way. Like even the entire LGBTQ+ movement that we currently celebrate every year at pride events was started by bisexual trans women of color, but now it's seen as this fun cis gay white male event where companies go to advertise and pretend they care about LGBTQ+ people.

That's really a big part of what motivated me to write that article, because of this weaksauce progression of putting white cis men at the forefront of our movement and pretending like it's actual representation. So then straight people get to pat themselves on the back and say "yay we're so tolerant and accepting, but we dont have to feel uncomfortable because these are still white men" while completely ignoring (and sometimes flat-out abusing) all the queer people who are non-cis, non-white, non-male, disabled, multisexual, undocumented, poor, sex workers, etc.

And I'm tired of companies and straight allies being hailed and praised for supporting white men and having this free pass to do whatever other shit to all these underrepresented queer people but never having to face consequences for it because they put a rainbow on their vodka bottle one time. 

[bloggerslut]

I really hate when men are constantly brought into the conversation when it comes to bi women, like it is such a point of contention between bi women and lesbians and biphobic radscum will literally say the most horrific shit about us being hurt because we choose to love men and all this other crap. There is nothing inherent to bisexuality that has to do with men and loving men. It's two or more genders/same and diff genders. Jeez can we get past this already? It's so frustrating. Love ya btw~

Thank you <3 And yes, it's so rude really. Men do not get a say in women's issues. Ever. Period. I consider it a huge red flag when a guy tries to chime in with his opinion in women's issues. Especially with bisexuality, it becomes this free-for-all topic that everyone thinks they can chime in on and push their harmful opinions in. And that comes from bi men, straight men, gay men, gay women, etc etc, basically everyone who has no say in the intersection of biphobia and misogyny pushes this toxic crap onto us. 

The thing that especially bothers me about this is that even if bisexuality meant having to be attracted to men in some capacity (which lol hell no) that DOES NOT MEAN BISEXUAL WOMEN ARE "AVAILABLE" TO MEN. This is such a disgusting, harmful notion that contributes to our ridiculously high rates of domestic abuse and rape. Straight women who are attracted to men are not "available" to men, our bodies as women are not fucking available to anyone we don't give consent to. 

No woman, regardless of sexual orientation, is available to men simply by existing. 

[bloggerslut]

Different anon from the last one. Do you get a lot of queer people trying to convince you you aren't bisexual anymore because you don't date straight men anymore? I'm in the same situation and I get it all the time, and actually less from heterosexuals.

Oh yeah all the time. It’s like if you’re a girl and your life isn’t centered around men then it’s impossible for them to fathom you being bisexual. It’s really ridiculous though because if you actually do date men they’ll say “oh you’re not bi you’re straight” but if you dont and only date women/nb people they’ll say “oh you’re not bi you’re gay/pan/whatever” so it just shows these people aren’t willing to accept bisexuality in any context, it’s got nothing to do with our personal preferences and everything to do with their ignorance and creepy obsession with our sex lives. 

[bloggerslut]

Precisely.

[bloggerslut]

Someone reblogged one of my articles about bisexuality throughout the years and said "History nerds are the best" and that is the best compliment I've ever gotten. 

[bloggerslut]

Different anon from the last one. Do you get a lot of queer people trying to convince you you aren't bisexual anymore because you don't date straight men anymore? I'm in the same situation and I get it all the time, and actually less from heterosexuals.

Oh yeah all the time. It’s like if you’re a girl and your life isn’t centered around men then it’s impossible for them to fathom you being bisexual. It’s really ridiculous though because if you actually do date men they’ll say “oh you’re not bi you’re straight” but if you dont and only date women/nb people they’ll say “oh you’re not bi you’re gay/pan/whatever” so it just shows these people aren’t willing to accept bisexuality in any context, it’s got nothing to do with our personal preferences and everything to do with their ignorance and creepy obsession with our sex lives. 

[bloggerslut]

Hi! I was wondering something. I am a bisexual man. I have had a few bad experiences with girlfriends in the past. After that I was like: ''Fuck this, I'm dating a man next. At least I understand them.'' Of course after I cooled off those feelings changed again and I'm back to happily dating all genders again. My question: You have had to put up with a lot of crap from men. Does that make you more inclined to only date women sometime?

Ohhhhhhhh yes.

I almost solely date women and non-binary people now, and frankly I don't think I'll ever date a straight man again, like the couple of men I have been with in the past year or two were either bi/pan etc. 

I think when you're bisexual and have had a lot of bad experiences with biphobia you kind of tend to be on edge around new potential partners, because I've had instances in the past where someone will seem totally cool with my bisexuality then out of nowhere one day make a really disgusting remark about it or ask really invasive questions. So I think it's a pretty logical move to want to protect yourself from that and be with partners who respect your sexual orientation. 

[bloggerslut]

Why do cute girls always ask me out when I'm dressed for a Target run and haven't slept in days? Girls I promise you I'm so much better than this, let me come back in a cuter outfit and brushed hair and we can pretend this is natural. 

[friendlyangryfeminist]

i mean like the guide to “how to support someone who was abused without taking sides” is very short and it is

you can’t

you’re a coward 

there is no neutrality there is only telling a victim that they matter less than making things ~awkward 

don’t be friends with abusers and rapists and expect to be seen as a decent human being who cares so much about survivors when all you care about is being seen as a caring person

[bloggerslut]

So...One of my articles on bisexual erasure is being used for a course at a big fancy University and I'm honestly so happy and proud of this! 

[bifishromance-blog]

LA County is considering making homelessness a parole violation and if that isn’t the most fucked up clear proof that the prison system is about getting poor, “unsavory” people out of sight out of mind then I don’t know what is.

[estradoll]

there is a serious war against homeless people in this country. Whether it’s this, or banning sleeping or having possessions in public or criminalizing sharing food with homeless people.

[notapaidshill]

where are the “mental health services” for the teenage girls afraid to say no to men? where are the “mental health services” for the teenage girls who hate themselves because of everything that men have ever said and done? where are the “mental health services” for the teenage girls that can’t reject a man without getting shot?

why are we so fucking obsessed as a society with providing “mental health services” to entitled mass murdering male pigs?

[bloggerslut]

I just found out that there is a catholic BDSM society here in San Francisco. I really thought there was nothing left to surprise me in this city but I stand corrected.

[bloggerslut]

I hate that I'm on anon for this but I think it's best that way otherwise I'd be an anxious mess. I think you're beautiful and inspiring. You're truly amazing and you're honestly one of my Tumblr crushes. Subway Girl is lucky to have your eye. I'm sorry for this creepy message but I just wanted you to know. I admire you so much.

Aw omg you're so lovely <3 This isn't creepy at all thank you mysterious babe~

[bloggerslut]

There was this super cute girl sitting next to me on the subway today and I didn't notice for like the first 20 seconds because I was just listening to music and scrolling through my phone and then she tapped me on the shoulder to ask me to save her seat while she went to pay for her ticket and I was so in awe by her cuteness i forgot to take out my earphones so every time she asked me I was just like "what?" over and over to the point where people were staring at me like wtf is going on with this girl until i finally realized and took them out and heard her and i felt like such a tool but she was just smiling at me like it was the cutest thing ever and then we kinda had a moment and I totally ship myself with cute subway girl <3