Diner Days: Of Eve and Adam
They sat across from each other in a boring diner. He was staring at his phone debating on what to text his friend. She was glazing off to the distant wall as she tapped her mug. They were lovers in a way. Not currently dating, but not unattached to the other.
Soulmates that kept missing the chance to be properly together. ‘Soulmates’ That’s how she would define them, but would he call her that? Would he call her his soulmate? Possibly.
“You know...” She mused as her eyes caught sight of a cross. “I use to think it was silly, egocentric that story about how Adam and Eve died.”
“Hm,” his eyes picked up. “What?”
“You know that story about how Adam died and Eve, overcome with grief, screamed and bat her chest for God to take her too. Begging God to take her... and He did. God took her life because she couldn’t live without Adam. I use to judge her for that.” She turned up her nose.
“I guess it’s pretty demeaning. Even in death she’s an object that exists only for him.” He thought it over.
“No,” she shook her head. “I mean possibly. I don’t know. I meant more on...” She rolled her back and leaned in. “Like, okay. So, when I was like 12 I had been burnt out by love. Like, true love and marriage were broken ideas for me.”
He could understand that. While he had never questioned much of her background, she had always been deeply emotionally honest with him and with everyone she met. It was her way of staying emotionally attached but distant at the same time. Her parents many failed marriages and one of them giving up on her had turned her into an interesting person. One that both deeply believed in the ideals of love but also treated love with high criticism and spite.
“And than I read this cuz, ya know, catholic girl in catholic school, you end up reading parts of the bible. And I was just... like...” Her left hand grabbed the air and swirled as she tried to pick out words to finish her thought. “Just, like... how? How? How can anyone love someone that much? So, much that they can’t live without the other. They need to die in that moment because is no future without the other.”
She pulled back and looked at him. He furred his brows. He could see that she had more to say but he didn’t know really were this was going.
“And you’re still struggling with that idea?” He reasoned from her past. “Wondering if someone could love you that much or not?”
“No, no, not at all.” She chuckled with a laugh. “I’m not struggling with it. If no one cares that much... than no one cares that much.” She crossed her arms with indifference.
It was painful for him to hear that. He had never thought of her dying before, not really. He knew her struggles with depression. He knew that she had moments of self harm, but he knew personally that didn’t equal going to die. He knew she would die one day, but never in his days of living would he accept the thought of it happening.
Emotionally distant but physically affectionate. Reserved around family, friends, and also towards the only person that really mattered in his life. He’d die if it meant erasing all her unhappiness in life. The fact that he was here meant he thought the world of her. He wasn’t the type to just spend his time with just anyone.
“My struggle... is that... you could love someone that much... that,” she uncrossed her arms and pulled at her face. “How can you love someone so much that the mere thought of them no longer in it... is just unthinkable, unlivable?”
“I don’t know.” He never thought about her dying before. He didn’t want to try.
Right.” It sounded like a question but was in fact a statement. Of course, she reflected. Of course, he didn’t know. She understood Eve better after meeting the man across from her. She felt like her whole spirit would leave her if he died. Her true death would be if he died even if he felt her in the world of the living, even if he didn’t love her the same. “Right, I struggle with that idea. Of loving someone that much, of having a soulmate and knowing that they’re gone...” and knowing that they won’t miss you when your gone... “and I just... I think of Eve a lot and her death. I get it and I don’t. I understand but I hate her for it...”
“No, not really.” She finally rested her head in the palm of her hand. “But anyway, I think I want cake. Will you eat half if I order?”
“A bite or more than a bite? Like half?”
“But I don’t want to eat it all and I don’t want to be wasteful.” She pouted.
“But you want the cake. So, order it.”
“Well, are you going to eat half?”
She turned her nose up with a fake scowl. “You’re impossible.”
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