Viktor: I don’t like sharing anything about my personal life with strangers.
Someone on the bus bumping into him: Oh, sorry.
Viktor: it’s okay, I’ve been hurt before. It all started on October 1989, when--
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@bloodyben
Viktor: I don’t like sharing anything about my personal life with strangers.
Someone on the bus bumping into him: Oh, sorry.
Viktor: it’s okay, I’ve been hurt before. It all started on October 1989, when--
Some random guy from the army: So, what's it like dating Klaus?
Dave: One time, he asked me for a glass of water while I was mad at him. I gave him a glass of ice and told him to wait.
Guy: Then what?
Dave: ...He said thank you and sat there waiting with a bright smile..I love him
Klaus, texting Allison: Help! I'm being kidnapped
Allison: Where are you?
Klaus: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Allison: I'll call Diego
Diego, answering his phone: Hello?
Allison: Where's Klaus? He texted me that he was being kidnapped
Diego: What do you mean, he's right next to me--
Diego:
Diego: I'll call you back [hangs up]
Diego: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD
Klaus: WHO ARE YOU?!
The Handler, standing with her back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Five.
Five: How did you do that without turning around?
The Handler: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
Klaus: [laying face-down on his bed]
Dave: Hey, you doing okay?
Klaus, muffled: I just need a bit of a break from everything. Including existing.
Dave: Alright, if that's what you want.
Dave: [plops face-down on Klaus' bed with him]
Klaus: What are you doing?
Dave: Taking a break from existing with you.
Klaus: [smiles]
Klaus: [goes to NASA] Hello i would like to volunteer to be thrown into the sun
NASA: U would die
Klaus: I beg u
Luther: People who sleep without socks on make me worry
Diego: People who sleep WITH socks on are not to be trusted
Five: People who sleep are weird
Klaus: I was a sock once
Klaus: I know you can climb faster than me
Dave: So what if i can?
Klaus: Why do you always let me win?
Dave: You like winning
Klaus: What do u get out if it
Dave: I get to see you smile after
Klaus: He's staring at my ass
Ben: He's staring at your ass
Five: What are you, five?
Luther: [snorts] Yeah, five heads taller than you
Five:
Luther:
Their siblings:
The Commission:
The Sparrow Academy:
Everyone:
Biden:
Luther: I'm sorry please don't kill me
Five: Today is a great day
The Handler: Hi
Five: My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
Klaus: Just trying to find the yee to my haw, but I keep finding the hell to my naw 😔✌️
Ben:
Ben: I want to uninstall my ears.
Klaus: You’re afraid of ghosts!
Viktor: Not really
Klaus: So why are you so scared when you hear a noise at night, huh?
Viktor: Because the last time I heard a noise in the middle of the night it was you breaking into my apartment, and it traumatized me
Klaus: How much for the goth squash?
Employee:
Employee: You mean the eggplant?
Klaus: You're so dramatic!
Ben: Me? You're the one who's dramatic.
Klaus: *gasps*
Klaus: *touches his heart*
Klaus: *tearing up*
Klaus: You are a *voice cracks* terrible liar, Ben.
Klaus: *hair flips*
Klaus: *sashays away*
Klaus, on the phone with someone: Sorry, I can't talk right now, I'm being chased by a lit trail of gunpowder.
Ben: Hey what's that pouring out of your pocket?
Klaus: Oh shit
Allison, holding a fancy looking bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?
Klaus: [grabs the whole bottle and chugs all of it]
Klaus: It's perfume.
Klaus: MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE AND NOTHING I KNOW IS REAL
Allison: Klaus, calm down
Five: Let him panic, we just found out that bees don't have lungs
Allison: Oh, that's all, I was worri-- BEES DON'T HAVE WHAT?!