Disclaimer: I couldn’t find the original poster this came from, but I got this from philanddanxreader, I didn’t come up with this.
A = Announcement.- How do you tell him and the world that you’re expecting?
I feel like Johnny and his s/o would be that annoyingly cute couple that does elaborate birth announcements that go viral. Telling Johnny would probably be along the lines of doing it on a holiday and giving him a present that’s like…baby shoes and he’s just looking at you like ‘why the fuck did you give me doll clothes’ until it smacks him in the face that 'these are….oh fuck’ and he’s immediately crying. Telling the world and the members would probably be lowkey troll-ish. Like just dropping hints here and there like, “me and mama are going shopping, but i dont think these clothes will fit either of us”, or walking around with an obvious ‘#1 dad!’ shirt and waiting for someone to ask wtf that’s about so he can just smuggly reply ‘lol yeah, imma be a dad.’
B = Books.- Did he read the books?
Johnny read a few. More likely he read the books you bought. With Johnny, I feel like he’s one of the guys that takes a mommyDaddy and Me class, babysitting, things like that to actually experience taking care of a baby, rather than reading about it.
C = Cuddles.- Who cuddles the baby more?
Giant tree dad Johnny is 100% glued to the kid. The majority of the first few months, Johnny doesn’t let the baby out of his sight, his tiny offspring is always in his arms, he’s going to be the parent you walk in the room and see him passed out in the rocking chair with his baby on his chest, sleeping.
D = Daddy.- His reaction to being called Daddy and it setting in.
Being big dumb Johnny, I swear he’s going to constantly be wearing his ‘dad’ shirt, so the entire world knows he’s a dad. But the moment someone actually calls him Dad, he’s just going to end up a big, dumb, smiley mess and giggling like ‘yeah, im dad, woo’
E = Empty.- Who goes to the store when you guys run out of supplies?
You can bet your ass that Johnny’s going to have one of this kid pouch things that you strap your kid in to like a bulletproof vest. He’s done strapped himself and the bub in and heading off to the store before you can even tell him there’s no milk. He knows. He’s on it.
F = Feeding time- Who does feeding time?
Johnny, he’s like a master on getting baby ‘whines a lot’ to eat. But then again, Johnny ends up making a bigger mess feeding the babe than the baby making a mess eating. Better get a rag.
G = Grumpy baby. - Who is better at dealing with a grumpy baby?
Johnny is the king of getting a pouty baby to laugh, with his dumb faces and soothing voice. All Johnny really has to do is talk near the baby, and instantly, it’s like sunshines and rainbows touched the kid and the baby is as happy as can be again.
H = How?- how many kids does he want?
I feel like Johnny is more of a less is more, kind of guy. He’ll probably be the one to only want one, or two at the most, just to keep it a small, and warm family. Easier to keep track of when you’re at Disney Land every other weekend. No kids will be lost.
J = Jokes.- best dad joke?
“What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose XD”
K = Kisses.- His favorite place to kiss the baby.
Johnny’s such a nose kiss kind of dad, and you know it. Whether it’s with his s/o or his bub, he’s giving those good ol’ eskimo kisses, it’s his thing.
L = Little.- How he feels when he holds the baby for the first time.
I bet you anything the first thought he has when the baby is put in his arms is ‘fuck….its little.’ And then probably cries, because it’s so little, and cute, and you and him made it, and fuck he’s a parent holy shit.
M = Mommy.- what does he call you?
Johnny’s so Daddy and Mommy kind of dad. He’s definitely getting you matching shirts, mugs, stickers for your car, everything.
Mommy and Daddy.
<3
N = Nappies.- who deals with the really bad ones?
This will probably be the only thing Johnny argues over in the relationship; who has to deal with the poops. 9/10 it ends with rock, paper, scissors, and 8/10 times he loses and has to deal with the stinky diaper.
O = Onesies- Who likes to dress the baby in ridiculous outfits?
Johnny dresses pretty well, I think? I don’t think he’d be the one to make the baby look like a sideshow performer, that’ll probably be on your hands lol.
P = Pet names- names he calls the baby.
Dammit I’m hurting myself, fuuuuuuck. Johnny’s a fcking giant, you know he’s going to call his kid his ‘little one’ you know it, I know it, the frog in my fish tank knows it.
Q = Questions.- How many questions does he ask the nurse?
I don’t think Johnny will ask too many questions, if any at all, after going through the classes and stuff. I think he’d be more inclined to ask questions about his s/o’s well being and how to help minimize the after birth stress and pain.
R = Rely- what is the biggest thing you rely on each other for?
Most cases it’s emotional support. I feel like you’d rely on each other to just remind one another that this is the hardest part, and it’s going to get better. Johnny’s certainly the comedic relief in the relationship, so he’ll be cracking jokes when you’re ready to give up, and comfort you, and the same to him.
S = Sleep duty. - who gets up when it’s really late at night?
Johnny’s such the perfect husband material that it hurts my soul. He’s definitely the one that gets up at night more often, it’s probably along the lines of 80:20 on who gets up more. He’s determined to give you as much sleep as possible, and after all, he is the master at calming his baby down.
T = Trepidation.- fears as a new parent.
I feel like his biggest fear as that he’s not going to be taking his role seriously. It’s a stressful time, and jokes are his coping mechanism, so he’ll probably be terrified that he’s acting like a clown more than a father, and while he is doing the absolute most, he’s afraid he’s not pulling his weight while he’s joking instead.
U = Ultra sounds.- His reactions to the ultrasounds.
Lord knows the water works cut lose hard when he saw the blurry image of his baby wiggling around on the screen. He practically had his face pressed against the screen, and sobbing about how ‘that’s our baby! we made that! holy shit we’re having a baby’
V = Values.- what is the most important value he wants to teach your child.
Although he doesn’t show it, I’m sure he’s seen the hate towards him, and he either doesn’t let it get to him at all, or he’s just holding it together well. I feel like he’d be one to instill the ‘love yourself’ thing in his kid. Because honestly, if you’re confident in yourself, no one can knock you down.
W = Water.- Who gives the babe the baths?
Because Johnny’s usually the one that made the mess, I feel like he gives the baby baths more, and it’s more like a joint bath. ‘fuck, kid puked on me. well, might as well kill two birds with one stone, lets go baby pukes a lot, bath time’
X = X-mas- what do you guys plan for the holidays?
Holidays are so fun with Johnny and you know it. He’s probably got you all wearing cheesy family sweaters, and sent Christmas cards to everyone. Holidays with Johnny are those extremely cute family movies, it’s all warm and fuzzy and full of love.
Y = Yelling.- How many fights do the two of you get in?
Again, I don’t think Johnny would fight with you over anything with the baby, besides the chocolate diapers. He’s relatively calm, and even when he’s mad, he’ll fume on his own, rather than blowing up at you.
Z = Zoo- How crazy is the house after the birth?
It’s literally that: a zoo. There’s applesauce on the ceiling, there’s toys clogging the toilet, is that Johnny’s puke on the rug or the baby’s, god only knows. I’m pretty sure you’ll need to hire a full time maid, or let Taeyong be your house mate to clean that mess up, good lord…
